OK, well, usually I post earlier than this but... I was talking to people and you know, that kind of thing. There's this funny thing called LIFE that likes to get in my way when I'm trying to write. XD
Buuuuuut anyway! Important thing is that I have a new batch of rules for you, fresh from the oven. They're very hot, so be careful. ;)
Credit to Anonymous BW FG for Rule #16: Bumblebee learns that you do NOT want to be muck up Tally's art commissions. You will be VERY sorry if you do.
Credit to one of my friends during a random conversation on the phone for Rule #17: Wheeljack has found a much funner, if not exactly constructive, way of getting rid of fruitcake without eating it. (This guy, my buddy, he's so random and he's given me a couple rules, I have to talk to him later so he can give me more lol!)
Credit to Anonymous BW FG and my Youtuber pal freakofnature96 for Rule #18: Tally should really put parental controls on her computer.
Credit to Apocalyptos, D.D. Natanya, and freakofnature96 for Rule #19: Like Knock Out, Tally needs and values her beauty sleep. Interrupt it, and you're going to be hopping around on one pede for the rest of the day.
Credit to Anonymous BW FG for Rule #20: Tally should really keep Red Alert away from... well, everything.
Also, I must personally thank Iron for his/her lovely comments. You have no idea how much you made me grin like an idiot last night when I got your review! Those kinds of reviews just make me feel so good inside.
I have many more in store, and I love you guys so much! I'll give you a break from suggestions for now, seeing as it's Christmas Eve, lol!
Hope you enjoy Rules 15-20!
16. When I'm working on a commission, bother me at your own risk.
(I'm an artist, and I complete commissions from the local human resource center for money.)
(This is how I keep myself and my little bots alive.)
(So they really need to stop bugging me when I'm trying to get one of them finished.)
(Prowl or Bulkhead sitting on my shoulder or on my desk when I'm working, I'm fine with that.)
(Prowl asks one or two questions and then leaves me the hell alone, while Bulkhead sits there in silent admiration, probably worshipping me.)
(Bumblebee? Not so much.)
(Bumblebee likes to climb up on my head, the jump down onto whatever I'm working on.)
(The result is usually that we both get covered in paint or glue or other messy stuff, and I have to start all over.)
(Visits to the Time Out Corner don't work for him.)
(I swear to God, if he does it ONE more time...)
(Hold on a second.)
"Bumblebee, what are you doing?"
"Watching you work! Oh hey - whoa! (thump) Sorry, Tally... I didn't mean it...!"
"..."
"Tally?"
"That's it, Bee. You're riding the 2:00 to Swirlyville."
"Hey no! Hey wait, no, what'd I do?!"
(Please excuse me for a moment. I have to go throw Bumblebee down the toilet.)
17. Fruitcake is a "delicious" holiday treat. It is not a weapon... Wheeljack.
(Why is it that I seem to have to make rules for things that should be, oh I dunno, kinda obvious?)
(Because Wheeljack never learned to quit while he's ahead, that's why.)
(Since my parents couldn't come and visit me for Christmas - something about a business trip vacation, who knows - they sent me some presents.)
(And a fruitcake.)
(It was kind of cute, and I'd never had one before, so I tried to eat a piece.)
(Tried being the operative word of course.)
(Apparently it's disgusting if it's not made right, so I just left it on the counter and hoped maybe some flies would get a Merry Christmas out of it.)
(I probably should have known that a certain little inventor bot would find it.)
(The next thing I knew, I was up in the attic cleaning, and then the little ladder-trapdoor sprung open.)
(Mirage, my good little spy, jumped up and ran over to me, stumbling all over himself.)
(He was sorta out of breath, and I felt bad for the poor guy, but in all his disorientation he mentioned something about Wheeljack and getting hit in the head.)
(I scooped him up and hurried down the ladder with him still muttering groggily about something-or-other, and when I got downstairs I found a power-mad Wheeljack on top of the TV, using a catapult to lob pieces of fruitcake at everybody.)
(I immediately put Mirage down, grabbed Wheeljack, broke his fruitcake launcher into tiny pieces, and threw what was left of the cake away.)
(After giving Wheeljack an hour in solitary confinement underneath a weighed-down bowl, I let him out and picked up Mirage.)
(I'd just waited to see if maybe he improved, but he still couldn't walk straight so I thought I better take him to Ratchet.)
(Unfortunately, as I left, I overheard Wheeljack talking to someone about his plan for next Christmas: a mistletoe cannon.)
(I think I'm going to miss the fruitcake launcher.)
18. We have rules for the internet around here.
(Rule number one for the internet, stay the hell off of YouTube.)
(It was fine at first, because they liked to have dance parties.)
(Got Mirage and Perceptor to loosen up a little.)
(Unfortunately, Skids and Mudflap stumbled upon a little viral video called "Gangnam Style.")
(I thought it couldn't get any worse than being RickRoll'd.)
(But they proved me wrong as I kept being "Gangnam Styled" at every turn.)
(The Chevy twins may have started it, but I think Knock Out was the worst about it.)
(He kept popping up and shouting "Oppan Knock Out style!" before dancing.)
(Finally I could take it anymore. I had to ban YouTube and the words Gangnam and Style in any order.)
(And I threatened if Knock Out ever tried it again, that while he slept I would paint him pink freaking polka dot.)
(Second internet rule: when I ask you what site you're on, don't scream like a little girl and deny it. Own up to it like a mech.)
(Strangely enough, it was Skywarp who forced this rule to come about.)
(I was watching TV, and I heard Skywarp behind me, on the computer, bouncing in that God-forsaken spinning chair.)
"Load, load, load, load, looooooad!"
(He may be a panicky, cowardly little mech, but I've never known him to be impatient.)
(So I had to walk over and ask, in no uncertain terms, what the hell he was doing.)
(He proceeded to cover up the screen and squeak.)
"I'm not looking at porn!"
(After that suspiciously specific denial, he hopped down off the seat and quickly warped away.)
(I raised an eyebrow and went to close out the porn site he "hadn't" been on.)
(I think I just stared at the screen for a full minute.)
(The browser was on a website that was just a page of different Cessna plane models.)
(...)
(My life is so weird sometimes.)
19. If I have to get up in the middle of the night to deal with you, you're not getting away with your little plastic heinie intact.
("Bedtime" means that everyone better have their afts in a berth.)
(I don't care if it's their own sleeping place or if they're having a two-bot orgy, but I will be monumentally pissed if they don't stay where they were the last time I saw them.)
(I'd like to point out that this is not me being mean.)
(I was driven to this after several nights of...)
(Jazz and Mirage doing randomly instigated recon, during which I think they used freaking floodlights.)
(Bumblebee and Wasp having stinger battles, not to mention sneaking out of bed to go play video games.)
(Ratchet rummaging around for supplies in my bathroom medicine cabinet.)
(The last straw was when Optimus and Megatron had a little dominance battle at three in the morning.)
(I tried to ignore it for the most part, but when they brought it into my room and started waging their little toy alien war on my bed, that was it.)
(I took a leg from each of them, and I didn't give it back till I was good and rested.)
(Anyone else gets caught out of bed, I will rearrange your faceplates.)
(Lights Out means LIGHTS OUT.)
20. Red Alert and glitter? They DON'T. MIX.
(New Years' Eve was maybe the craziest night with the bots.)
(Bumblebee and Bulkhead found my pack of little noisemakers, and I decided to be nice and break out the juice Hugs.)
(I had to put them in tiny plastic shot glasses, and even when they were shared it took like an hour for them to finish one.)
(Sugar really isn't a good idea for these guys. Not THAT much sugar, anyway.)
(Long story short, while more than half of the bots were partying the night away and playing ridiculous pranks on Prowl/Sentinel/anyone who they thought wouldn't like it, I was lying on the couch.)
(Regretting ever telling them that this was a party night.)
(I had Red Alert cradled in my hands, and man, was he shaking. I think he hated it as much as I did, probably more.)
(Finally I couldn't take it and retreated with Red to my room, where maybe I could ignore the noise by working on a project.)
(This one was my own, and I was planning to give out some Valentine's cards to the bots when the day rolled around.)
(I'd decided to start early, and the first couple were finished. I was going to make one for Prowl next.)
(Red Alert was slightly more calm now that we were away from the party, and was sitting on the desk.)
(The TV was loud enough that I could hear the countdown to the ball dropping.)
(So I handed Red Alert a pipe cleaner and grabbed one myself, and we waved them about as we counted.)
"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five... four... three... two... ONE!"
(I could hear the bots in the living room cheering and I grabbed my glitter shaker, tossing up some glitter in lieu of confetti.)
(Poor Red.)
(I had to give him like ten baths that night before he was assured that all the glitter was gone.)
(While he was busy glitching and trying to tell me to scrub harder.)
(Next year, we'll just have a nice, quiet party with movies.)
(Actually, I hope there is a next year.)
Awww, Tally angsting a little and hoping she'll be with the bots for a long time! So cute, she's already taken a liking to them.
Well, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate! Relax this winter season and have lots of fun with your family and friends.
And whatever you do, don't believe the bots if they say the just want some hot chocolate! Because if you give a bot hot chocolate... he'll want some marshmallows to go with it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MY FABULOUS READERS! Without you, none of this would be possible, AND I LOVE YOU ALL!
THANKS SO MUCH! :)