AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm so happy so many people are enjoying my little fic here! I'm sorry this update came a few days later, it's been one of those weeks. Hopefully there won't be as much time between updates. Still working on my book, but writing my Iron Man fics is definitely helping. This chapter is mostly just bridging between two "acts" of the story. We're now moving into the middle game, so to speak. So there won't be too much action in this chapter, and it's shorter than most. But the next chapter is where things start ramping up. Keep reading people, and I hope you enjoy it! Again, thanks so much for the kind reviews!
My Best Friend's Baby, Chapter 4
Tony sat on the sofa in his workshop staring at the wall, saying nothing. JARVIS had asked him twice already if he was ok and he replied that he was. He was holding a glass of scotch, a reflex reaction to pour himself some any time he was stressed, but he had barely sipped on it. His mind was in an uproar.
He just couldn't believe it. Pepper was always so careful ensuring his past sexual escapades involved condoms and oversight. How could she have failed to follow "procedure" herself? And why would she have a one night stand? It was just so unlike her. Not that she hadn't before, it just wasn't routine. She had dated a few times, and he assumed it wasn't celibate dating, but she pursued it less in recent years, almost like she had given up trying.
Tony had to admit that the real problem he had with this whole scenario was that it appeared to him that Pepper had simply been feeling frisky and apparently had not even considered coming to him. That hurt. It actually hurt his feelings. He asked himself now if this was what Pepper experienced seeing him with other women. What if he had had to attend the guy Pepper had been with the next morning, get his dry cleaning, even be civil to him? Tony shook his head, he couldn't have done it. It hurt too much, giving him a new appreciation for Pepper's will and fortitude. It must have hurt her terribly, assuming she felt for him even a fraction of what he felt for her.
It's not like they were an item, though, and reasonably, his past was enough to make any woman scoff at the idea of a long term relationship with him. But had she even thought about him? Considered him? The irony was not lost on him that his perpetual lack of commitment and fear of being hurt had led him to pursue casual sex just for the brief and fleeting illusion of intimacy, even with a stranger. The flip side to this was that he did it so often, no woman in her right mind could take him seriously if he indicated that he really wanted something serious, real and long term. Especially if that woman had been the one doing all the cleaning up after him. Pepper, more than anyone, had seen the ugly side of Tony's extracurricular activities and had every reason to want to keep herself distant, even if she had feelings for him. She had good reason to question his motives when he had roundabout suggested being his girlfriend right before his epic Iron Man press conference.
Even amidst his disappointment that she had turned him down and walked away that day, deep down Tony had still believed he had a chance with her, if he could prove himself to her. It was going to have to involve him cleaning up his act. The drinking and partying and philandering would have to stop, especially if he wanted to convince her that he was stable enough for a commitment and was serious about adopting a "one woman for the rest of my life and that's you" policy towards her. It had actually been easier than he had thought to pursue celibacy for over 8 months so far. He was tired of the random fling thing, it did nothing for him anymore, and he wasn't too eager to show the whole world the hunk of glowing metal residing in his chest. In fact, only a few people had ever even seen it and only Pepper had touched it with permission. Rhodey had even commented on it once, how Tony was usually so fond of showing off to the world any new invention of his, but oddly this one was kept snugly under wraps. Secretly, Tony wondered how much of a shock his arc reactor would be to a total stranger, who hadn't been warned. He feared a disgusted reaction in the event his shirt had to come off.
But Pepper had not turned away when he had needed her help, even if she was afraid and mildly grossed out by the plasmic discharge. He remembered the night they had danced, and then nearly kissed on the balcony. He had seen the look in her eyes, no longer hidden behind her walls that normally kept him out. No doubt that look was mirrored in his own eyes when he looked at her. He knew there had been a seed there that had the potential to blossom into something stable and passionate, if they had the courage to try. He knew she was afraid of him hurting her, but he was equally afraid of letting her in for good. He had never had a committed relationship last longer than a month before, and after Obadiah's betrayal, Pepper was on the short list of who he could trust absolutely, but it still scared him that she could have the power to hurt him that badly. He was none too pleased to find out they didn't even need to be dating for that to happen. Hearing she was pregnant by another man cut at him deeply. He wondered if that seed of potential was even still there, or had it left the building with Mr. Anonymous Sperm Donor? And most importantly, Tony had to ask himself, did he still want her now, given that she now had some serious baggage?
He weighed the situation and numerous possible scenarios in his head and their outcomes before he had to admit to himself that he did still want her. The reasons he loved her went beyond sexual reasons. He loved her face, her smile, her glare, the lilt in her voice, her intelligence and her spirit. Her sky blue eyes could see right through him, but behind them was a soul motivated by kindness at her core. None of this went away because of a physical condition or the child it was going to result in. No, it was really the baby itself that Tony had to come to terms with. He could mentally and emotionally get past the idea of her with another man, especially if things ended up working out with her in his favor in the long run. But the baby was an anchor to that man for the rest of her life, a reminder that she had chosen someone else. What would he feel when he looked at this baby or the person it grew into? Would he see his best friend looking back at him, with the same red hair and blue eyes and smile, or the man who had taken the place Tony had wanted?
Logically, he knew the baby was certainly not to be blamed for anything, but Tony still felt resentment. Its very presence had derailed his hopes and plans with Pepper and would ensure complications from here on out. But if he truly loved Pepper, could he love her child, even if it was another man's? He wasn't sure he knew the answer. He knew convincing Pepper to give him a real shot would include the baby in the plan. He would be the predominant male figure in this kid's life. Did he want that? His own father had been borderline abusive in sternness and mostly neglectful. Tony didn't factor into Howard's plans for his own life and it had left permanent damage on Tony. Was he doomed to do that to a kid himself? Or could he avoid his father's mistakes?
(Am I seriously contemplating fatherhood? To a kid that isn't mine? For the sake of a girl who doesn't want me? And what if Mr. Anonymous comes back?)
Tony stared up at the ceiling. Seeing himself in a fatherly role was nearly as weird as seeing Pepper in a motherly one. To be honest, he had never really thought of Pepper as anyone's mother before. The very nature of sex made motherhood a distinct possibility for any woman engaging in sex, including some of the bimbos he had dug up for a night. The problem was, it was nearly impossible to think of Pepper as a mother, rocking a baby, and warming up bottles, without also thinking of her having sex to get there. He couldn't help it. He frequently thought of Pepper having sex...with him. He had imagined them in all sorts of situations, locales, various states if emotion and a range of aftermath scenarios. But she was pregnant by another man, which meant at least one of those scenarios had come to reality, minus Tony. To put simply, he felt robbed.
He closed his eyes and tried to dredge up an image of Pepper in his mind, one of his favorite fantasies, about the two of them in a secluded beach somewhere in Hawaii, rolling around in the surf together, minus their swimsuits. But unfortunately, the shadowy image of an anonymous man with her instead filled his mind. He forced it away and tried to pull up another. Then, unbidden, came the image that had been invading his mind several times in the last month. Pepper sitting across from him, leaning in to him for a kiss, then suddenly her under him, on the sofa, kissing him passionately. This image felt different. It wasn't one he fabricated as a fantasy, and yet his physical response to it was almost immediate. Although far less racy than his other fantasies, this image of Pepper turned him on, and fast too. He figured it must be the snippet of a forgotten wet dream about her. He kept searching his mind for it, but it seemed just out of reach, like a forgotten memory.
"Tony? Are you ok?" came the voice out of thin air.
He jumped nearly out of his skin as he sat up and looked around. Colonel James Rhodes stood directly in front of him, staring at him.
"How the hell did you get in here? Sneaking up on me now?" said Tony, mildly irritated at his friend.
"I got in because you gave me security clearance," Rhodey said. "And JARVIS announced me, didn't you hear him?"
"Mr. Stark appeared to be deeply in thought, Colonel," replied JARVIS.
Tony shrugged and looked away.
"You're about where I expected to find you. And how I expected to find you," Rhodey said, looking at the glass.
"Actually I've only had a few sips. Habit. You want it?" Tony said, handing the glass in his friend's direction.
Rhodey shook his head. "Not at one in the afternoon."
Tony scoffed. "You're not on duty. But there's beer in the fridge."
Rhodey went over to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer, and twisted it open barehanded.
"Show off," mumbled Tony as his friend sat in the chair across from him. "You talked to Pepper?"
Rhodey nodded. "She called me right after she talked to Happy. Is it for real? I hope it is, because apparently Happy's gone shopping for some Steelers baby clothes, something about starting the kid off right with sports. I'd hate to think of Hap baby clothes shopping without good reason."
Tony just nodded.
Rhodey shook his head. "Damn. Pepper of all people. She's so careful about everything else. Hard to believe. You holding up OK?"
"Yeah," Tony said, taking another sip. "Did she tell you who the father was?"
Rhodey shook his head. "I asked her but she would only say it was a one night stand and she didn't want to talk about it."
Tony nodded and said, "Yeah that's all she told me too."
Rhodey looked sharply at him. "Seriously? She didn't even tell you? Nothing? I thought for sure she'd tell you."
Tony shook his head.
Rhodey looked at him pointedly for a minute, then said slowly, "Tony, is there...is there any possibility it's you?"
Tony's head snapped up. "What? Are you mental? No!"
Rhodey shrugged and said "Is it that hard to believe? I thought you two would figure it out years ago, let alone by now. Honestly it's hard to be in the same room with you two sometimes."
Tony looked at his friend like he had grown three heads. "If I had gotten down with Pepper, don't you think I would have called you five minutes after to brag? It's not mine."
Rhodey narrowed his eyes, "That's what's so weird about this. You two adore each other, why would Pepper go have a fling? Doesn't make sense. And why wouldn't she say who it is if it's nobody important?"
"Pepper shoots me down when I ask her out. She has for years. And I figure it's someone I know and she doesn't want me to go lay him out or something." Tony set the glass down, not really interested. "Honestly for a second I wondered if it could be you. Or Happy."
Rhodey laughed a real laugh. "Me? Man you are paranoid. Pepper's like a sister to me and Happy, it would be too weird. But thanks for the vote of confidence. But no, Marcy would kill her, then me."
"You guys back together? I thought you broke up? Something about long distance relationships never working?" Tony said.
"Yeah well, we're giving it another try," said Rhodey. "She's worth it. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet."
Tony grinned and said, "Well, you struck gold there for sure, buddy. Marcy's hot. And for some reason I can't fathom, she's crazy about you."
Tony couldn't be sure, but it appeared his friend's dark skin got a shade darker as he grinned and said, "Yeah well I can't figure out why a hot, smart girl like Pepper seems so hung up in a dick like you either. But Marcy's more than just looks, she's, well...she's just her, you know?"
"Yeah," said Tony quietly. "But if Pepper's so hung up on me, why is she having someone else's baby?"
"I don't know, man," said Rhodey shaking his head. "I admit, that floors me. You sure it's not yours?"
"I think I'd remember sleeping with Pepper, dude," Tony said dismissively.
Rhodey looked like he wanted to say something at that, but instead said, "So what happens now? I mean you know everyone's going to say it's yours. And what about you two? I mean is the guy around?"
"I don't think so," said Tony. "And people can say what they want. I told Pepper I'd find a way to keep them safe from whack jobs. As for us? I don't know, seems like gestating some other guy's child is a pretty strong indication she's not interested in me, you know."
"You really are dense, you know that?" Rhodey said with irritation. "If you believe that, you need to get that IQ of yours rechecked, 'cause somebody obviously screwed up your previous one. Pepper's crazy about you. You didn't hear her voice, you know, when I called her to tell her we'd lost you in Afghanistan. She was frantic. She was...she took it hard, man. And then when I called her to tell her we found you and you were alive. She cried you know. It wasn't all that long ago. I know you've carried a torch for her for years and I know you weren't abstaining during all that time. All those other girls meant you don't like Pepper? Anyone can have an accident. Or a lapse in judgment."
Tony didn't say anything but Rhodey could tell his remark about liking Pepper while pursuing other girls had hit home.
"If she wanted some, she knows where I am. Why didn't she come find me? If she wants me and all that, why does she keep turning me down?" said Tony.
"Someone like Pepper doesn't usually just want 'some,' they want 'all that.' She probably turns you down for the same reason I was stupid enough to let Marcy walk last time. You figure it's doomed from the start, so why drag it out or even start if it's all going to end up going to hell anyway? But then you realize quick you can't get through the day without driving yourself nuts thinking about them." Rhodey sounded matter of fact.
Tony sighed. "So what am I supposed to do now? Pretend this isn't happening? Pretend I'm ok with it? I don't see any way I can get things with Pepper where I want them. Everything's so mixed up."
"Well just think how she feels," said Rhodey. "In love with her best friend, pregnant by someone else. She's probably figuring any chance she had with you is gone now. Most people figure a girl pregnant with someone else's kid is a recipe for trouble and not worth the effort."
"That's stupid," scoffed Tony. "She knows me better than that."
"Does she?" asked Rhodey. "Don't assume she does, man. Pregnant women do a lot of crazy thinking they don't normally do. And before you say she's not in love with you, or has a funny way of showing it, remember you haven't behaved all that differently towards her. Just remember, from this point on, any relationship Pepper has is going to involve that kid. She's going to be approaching it like a job interview, or 'is this guy daddy material?' If she has any thought about you taking off and hurting her and the kid, well, she's not going to go for it. You'll have to convince her you're in for the long haul. Honestly, you two are almost painful to watch. I need to go watch like five Julia Roberts movies just to shake your bad romance vibes."
"Better be drunk when you do," Tony quipped.
"I think that goes without saying," said Rhodey.
"Oh well," said Tony. "I guess a kid could do worse than us and Happy as role models. With Happy to teach it about sports and cars, me to teach it about science and tech, you to teach it how to be a patriot and a decent person, and Pepper for everything else important, it might turn out to be sort of stable a person. And well-rounded."
Rhodey said softly, "You'd make a decent father, you know. Better than your old man anyway."
"I'd only screw a kid up," Tony said bitterly. "This one is better off with a father who walked out on it than a mess like me. The best I can do is keep it safe from freaks."
"So how are you going to keep Pepper and the baby safe?" asked Rhodey.
Tony smiled a real smile and jumped up from his chair, heading for the nearest holo screen. "I've been working on it all week. It's going to take a while to fabricate, but come look at this."
Lauren and Charissa stood in Pepper's office, the door firmly closed, side by side staring at her with their mouths slightly open. They were still stunned at what she had told them.
"So um, yeah...that's about it," said Pepper, feeling a blush start at the base of her neck and start creeping up to her face.
"How far along are you?" asked Charissa.
"About 8 weeks," Pepper replied.
"Well that explains the nausea. Any cravings yet?" asked Charissa.
"Never mind that," said Lauren, "This is going to be a PR nightmare. People have talked about her and the boss for years. Entertainment Weekly is going to be camped out on the front lawn. This is going to be only slightly less crazy than Tony telling the whole world he's flying around being a superhero in a mechanized tin can he threw together in his basement. What do you want us to do, Pepper?"
"I'm going to have to let everyone know eventually, but until then, it stays in this office. Clear?" Pepper looked at them both carefully as they nodded. "I want to give us some time to prepare. Charissa, draw up some official statements. I'll give you some talking points later and the official story if anyone asks. We'll stick to that. Lauren, you'll be screening phone calls. I apologize in advance for the loonies who will be calling. It'll be crazy for a while until people lose interest, which, depending on if something blows up in Washington or Brangelina splits, could be a few weeks to a few months. I'm hoping it'll die down when public interest moves on to the next big story."
"Ok. I'll get on working on some press releases. And I'll dig out some of my kids' baby clothes for you. I mean, I know you can probably afford brand new monogrammed designer clothes, but it's like tradition. Every kid needs some hand me downs," said Charissa.
Pepper smiled a real, grateful smile. "Thanks, that's cool. And I may be calling you for advice."
"Bring it on, I'm a pro by now. I have three," Charissa replied.
Lauren smiled but then her expression turned stern. "Guys, this is sweet and all, but can we focus in more important stuff? What's Tony's official position on this?"
"Officially, Tony doesn't have a position. It's not his problem," said Pepper.
"How can it not be his problem?" asked Lauren. "Isn't it his? I mean, isn't
he.."
"Lauren," Pepper cut her off, "Office rumor aside, Tony and I are friends and professional colleagues. Nothing more. It's how we've always been. This was a lapse of judgment on my part brought on by too many martinis resulting in a brief fling. I'll spare you the details. It's in the past now. He's concerned about how all of this is going to change how I work for him, but we're hammering out the details. Beyond that, there's nothing to say regarding my pregnancy and Tony."
Both women looked surprised, but said nothing.
"Any questions?" asked Pepper.
They shook their heads.
"Ok then. That's it for now. We'll meet again about this in about a month or so. I want to ride this anonymity bus as long as I can. But I figure we'll have to say something official once I start showing. Anyway, thanks ladies. And remember, let's keep this under wraps," said Pepper.
With quick hugs, the two women turned and left Pepper's office, closing the door behind them. Once they were out of earshot, and ensuring no one was around to overhear, Charissa turned to Lauren.
"You think she's lying about it not being Tony's?" she asked.
"Oh yeah, she totally is," said Lauren. "Pepper couldn't lie convincingly if her life depended on it. But you notice something? She didn't actually lie. She never said he wasn't."
Charissa only nodded.