Hello, and no, I'm not at home, well technically I am. Welcome to chez Gary and Miranda, after much arguing, and Gary's contract running out we decided to buy a place together. How grown up. I know. For those of you worried about the flat, there are some of you, I know it. Well there is no need to worry as it is in safe hands, a certain Miss Sutton is living there.
Well the buying and moving into of the house went like a dream compared to the planning of the housewarming party.
"No, not then, it's poker night."
"Can't you miss it for one week."
"No, would you give up girls night."
"You just want to be 'gangsta' for the evening, don't argue, I heard John talking about hos at the last one."
"He was talking about gardening implements, hoes with an 'e'."
"You were talking about gardening implements? I don't think I've unpacked your pipe and slippers yet old man."
"Rude."
"Just because we live together now doesn't mean you can steal my sayings, there is a fine of a glass of wine and a kiss." Thankfully we eventually decided on a date and it's tomorrow, so have spent the day putting things into the attic, minor thrill, we have an attic, and a spare room.
We made the mistake of organising a barbecue (a proper one, not a rubbish disposable one) in England, in the summer. So naturally it rained, but a quick trip to get gazebos saved the evening. This was a minor incident compared to what was to come. The grey hair situation has got worse, I'm now into double figures, so colouring them in is no longer practical, so I asked Stevie to help me dye it, as the only other time I've attempted it, I dyed not only my hair, but my forehead, neck and the bathroom. Well the only difference is that there was no dye all over the bathroom this time, so I had to wear a stupid floppy hat at the party, which no one asked about once. I wish.
As Gary was sorting the food out, he asked me to light the barbecue, me and flammable substances, something was bound to go wrong. It didn't start well, I managed to drop the bag of charcoal on my foot, and naturally it split. So that took a while to clean up, and when I had finished emptying the bag, I looked up to see Gary laughing at me through the kitchen window. Then I couldn't get the top off the lighter fluid, so he had to come and help me. And when I finally got it lit there was a huge gust of wind, and frankly I was lucky to escape with my eyebrows.
"Miranda, this Steve, we were at school together."
"Hi."
"And this is his younger brother Charlie, we'd better keep him away from the paddling pool." It was full of ice to keep the drinks cold, unfortunately not for splashing around in.
"Why?" Hopefully this conversation will go beyond one word answers.
"He tried to drown me in one when he was 6."
"Are you still not over that?"
"Calm down children. Gary it was over 20 years ago, let it go. And Charlie I've only just met you but am very disappointed in 6 year old you."
Rather worryingly, mum had disappeared. She wasn't getting food or a drink, or escaping the early evening humidity (as in typical English fashion, the early morning showers had given way to oppressive humidity) in the living room. This could only mean she was snooping round, naturally she had been round before, but had not had the chance to fully pass her judgement. About 10 minutes later I heard the ominous phrase 'such fun' from the other side of the garden.
"Darling you have a lovely, what I call house, but why is the spare room full of boxes?"
"Firstly, we all call it a house, it is a house, and secondly, they a boxes of things that will probably end up in the attic."
By 11 the barbecue had burned itself out and Gary and I were left to tidy up, as it was late we decided to leave the loading of the dishwasher to the morning. Instead we curled up on the big sofa with glasses of wine and enjoyed the silence. I felt his hand tighten around my waist, pulling me to him.
"What are you thinking about?"
"If you'd have told me 6 months ago that I would be in this situation, living with my gorgeous boyfriend, I would have said you were mad."
"But? I sensed there may have been a but?"
"No but, other than, but I am happier than I ever thought I could be and I love you so much."
"I love you too, coming to bed?"
The End