Hey guys sorry i havent updated in forever i was ummm kinda stuck with this story i mean i still kinda am stuck but i think that next chapter is going to be the last day of summer vacation and the start of a new school for Eli... i dont want to bore anyone to death reading about Eli being sad all summer long so yeah gonna skip a bit sorry please dont hate me... ummm yeah i hope you guys enjoy it oh and sorry this is the shortest chapter i have ever written because i felt the need to update already since yeah its been forever... one more thing this story was rated M because i was thinking of where it would go later but i think i am changing it to T for now just because of language maybe violence idk... okay enough of me enjoy this chapter...
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR THE CHARACTERS... I know sucks ...
04-6-09
Dear Julia
So I decided to go out today since summer break hadn't started yet and people would still be in school. I took Morty for a drive to my new school just to see where I would be attending in a couple of months. I came back to find my mom in my room cleaning it. I don't know what got into me but I flipped the fuck out. I was so fucking pissed. And I still am I mean I am sorry I am cussing and I know you never really liked that. But I cant believe my mom was in my room trying to clean it. I leave things a certain way because I want to. They remind me of you…
I guess my mom was really scared when I flipped out and she sat me down and started talking to me about life. She told me that everything happens for a reason and that it was all part of life that you had to die at such a young age. I am sorry but I don't see what the reason was to take you away from me. I don't think I will ever be able to understand why you had to die that night. Why couldn't we get more time, shit! Ugh I will never understand that and if there is a god out there then he is one fucked up man taking you at such a young age. I am sorry I need to calm down before I keep writing I know you never liked seeing me mad. The last time you saw me I was mad and I don't want you to remember me just as Mad Eli so I'll take a quick break from writing to you.
I am sorry I kind of went crazy for a moment there, I just feel so out of place when my things are moved around in my room. I think I will for sure be getting a lock now just in case my mom decides to try and clean my room again. I just feel so out of place when something in my room is moved. I don't know what is going on with me anymore. Julia I need things to be in a certain place or I lose it. Every little thing reminds me of you and I cant seem to be able to let go of the simplest can of soda or any little thing that reminds me of you and your beautiful eyes. Julia do you miss me as much as I miss you? I will always love you….
I was thinking about the times we would just go to the park and sit under your favorite tree and just talk or stare at each other until it got dark and cold. I wanted to go to the park the other day but I couldn't get myself to walk out the front door. Too many memories came rushing back just thinking about the park, now imagine if I were their, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions. Who am I kidding I cant even control my emotions now while I am in my own room.
I feel like I've gotten lost inside these four walls, I feel like this is the only place that reminds me of you. every time I am here I think about what we would be doing if you were still here with me. I am sorry I wont be writing much today I just feel so emotionally confused right now and I wish you were here to just give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be alright. Well if you were here I don't think I would even be feeling like this. I just want you to know one more thing before I stop writing, Julia I love you I hope you know that I will never be able to love anyone the way I loved you. I miss you so much and I just wish that this were all a nightmare I would wake up from in a few minutes and have you next to me sleeping so peacefully.
I hope you always remember I love you.
Love always,
Elijah
P.S. Yeah, I still hate my full name but you always liked the way it sounded, didn't you?
Well?
again sorry this was super short but i updated which is important right?
okay well hope you enjoyed it ummm review if u wanna and thnxs for reading
much love =D