Chapter 4: Call me Crazy…

Summer was ending. The welcoming green mountains around us were becoming speckled with orange and red clumps, the trees outside burning with the fiery brilliance of the turning leaves. The wind softly blew around our faces, tossing up stray locks of my hair. Riley and I sat on the rock outcrop, looking over the mountains and enjoying those last rays of sun. I was leaning into him, my feet curled under me. His arm was around my waist.

"Your hair matches the foliage nicely," he commented, playing with one of my brown locks. I smiled.

"The trees are beautiful," I said, looking out at the treetops. It was true. The gray and the shadows could infect the city, but not even the end of humanity could douse the flames in those leaves.

"You see that one over there?" he asked, pointing to a dull-orange maple just beginning to turn. "That one is my favorite. See, some trees are flashy, eye-catching. This one is eye-catching, too, but not in an obvious way. It's beautiful without even trying. I just can't get enough of the amber colored trees. They're stunning." I picked up a leaf fallen from a bright red tree next to us.

"You never know," I argued playfully, "There are a lot more trees in the forest that you haven't seen yet." I gestured around us. Riley smiled back at me.

"I don't need to see any others. All I ever will see is this one." He responded, tucking the lock of hair behind my ear. I laughed once.

"Said Romeo to Benvolio the night before he met Juliet!" I said, dropping the tree metaphor. Riley smiled again.

"Well this is different, then. I already have my Juliet." He answered simply.

"Am I really your Juliet?" I asked, flattered.

"Am I really your Romeo?" he answered.

"Always."

"Same answer." We gazed at each other for a minute, not feeling the need to talk. Finally, Riley kissed the top of my head and said, "We should get back to the cave." I didn't want to leave, but, knowing we had to, I let Riley help me up without comment. I didn't let go of his hand as we walked down the familiar path to the caves. When we got there, Joseph was playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt with Charlotte.

"I won again!" she cheered, drawing a line in the dirt with a twig.

"Getting outsmarted by a nine year old, Joe?" Riley joked. Joseph laughed.

"She's devious, that one." He said, shaking his head.

"Only the smartest," I chided. Joe moved to get up, but Charlotte grabbed his sleeve.

"C'mon, kid, I can't play forever." He said. Charlotte put on her puppy-dog face.

"Not even one more?" she asked, staring up at his face with big chibi eyes.

"Later, I promise." Joseph laughed. I thought about how easy he was to live with. These past few days hadn't been any different than the time before he had come here, if you don't count less work and a happier atmosphere as changes. He was always upbeat and infallibly eager to try any job we set out for him. Charlotte absolutely adored him, and spent a good deal of the day by his side. As he approached us now, though, his expression was oddly torn.

"Can I talk to you guys?" he asked quietly as he reached our side.

"Of course," Riley answered, "What's on your mind?" Joe looked over his shoulder at Charlotte and motioned towards the back of the cave. I was burning with curiosity to know what was going on, but I held my tongue. If Joseph didn't want to talk in front of Charlotte, I wouldn't push it. I would find out soon enough. My patience was rewarded when, after we were a respectable distance away from Charlotte, Joe turned around and whispered,

"I think I'm going crazy." Riley opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. His expression was just as confused as mine.

"Why?" I wondered aloud. Joseph sighed and started his monologue.

"Ever since I found you guys, I wondered if there were more people out there. I had accepted the fact that I was the last human on earth long ago, but realizing that I wasn't got me thinking. I started having dreams that more had survived. I imagined different voices when you talked. I started to believe we weren't alone. Today I was at the falls and, on the other side of the river, I saw someone. When I yelled at them, the sound of my voice was drowned out by the water. They went away. Call me crazy, but I think I saw a human."

We stared at him with dumbfounded expressions. I desperately wanted to believe that Joe wasn't crazy, that there could be another human out there, but I couldn't make that little negative voice in the back of my head shut up. Maybe Joe was crazy. After a year in hiding, we hadn't met one person. Why, all of a sudden, would we meet two in the span of five days? Was it our location? Or was it just good timing? No, such coincidences weren't real. Which was why this seemed so impossible. Insanity was easier to cope with than the crushed hope of survivors. So why did we still hope?

To me, faith and hope were like Siamese twins. You couldn't hope for something without faith that it would happen, and you couldn't have faith in something without hope that it was real. They went hand in hand. We hadn't asked for more when Joe had joined us, but it seemed like that was exactly what we were getting. I was letting myself get hopeful. I tried to focus on the "crazy" possibility, but my mind wouldn't settle. I tried chaining it down, but it didn't work. The chains fell off, and it flew away.

"What are we gonna do about it?" I asked, hoping for the brilliant explanation that had eluded me.

"If I left for a few days…" Joseph started. Riley cut him off, saying,

"You don't have to do that." Joseph continued as if Riley hadn't interrupted.

"I might be able to find them." He finished. I bit my lip. I really didn't want Joseph to leave, but the possibility of another human being hung in the air like a mist. The possibilities were so equal that it all really boiled down to one thing.

"If you want to, go. But don't feel like you have to for us." I said.

"Amber, I know what it feels like to be alone. I'm doing this for them, not to repay the debt that I owe you guys." Joe said. He shrugged. "Besides, if I had still been alone when I saw them, I would have definitely followed. I'm doing this to give them a family." He stood up and walked over to the side of the cave, picking up his bag.

"You're leaving now? I asked, confused and surprised. Joseph and Riley looked at me strangely.

"Why not?" Joe asked, "They might move away tonight. I'm not taking any chances." It was at that moment that I realized how much I wanted him to stay. All of my previous rationality and perspective vanished, replaced by childish desire.

Joseph's presence had been like… I couldn't describe it. Like we had been in a dark room with a broken flashlight, and Joseph had given us batteries. He was a reminder that we weren't alone; he was hope. Even though I had only spent a few days with him, I couldn't imagine him not being here. He might not come back, but if he did, he might not come alone. Double or nothing.

"Be safe," was all I could say. Joe smiled.

"I've done ok so far, haven't I?" he answered, shrugging, and with that last goodbye he left the cave. Riley slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I didn't react to his touch, didn't lean into him like I normally would. It felt like if I moved, I would collapse. We stared out at the spot Joseph had last been for a few minutes, until Charlotte asked,

"Where's Joey going?" I'd forgotten about her! How would I explain to her that her new best friend was out risking his life on a rescue mission for another human that may or may not exist? Riley, always more collected than I was, spoke up first.

"He's… exploring. He'll be back in about a week though, don't worry," he reassured. Charlotte's brow furrowed, but after a second she shrugged and mumbled,

"He still owes me a game."