Chapter 3

A.N. Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. So here's chapter 3, so I hope you enjoy it. As always thank you for the amazing reviews and nice words. You're the best!

Any mistakes aren't intentional.

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O.C.'s P.O.V.

Roy stayed the entire night talking with me and questioning me. I think at the end he was more confused than satisfied, but I had nothing more to tell him. I think I actually scared him off with my information. He actually got very angry and demanded me to tell him how I knew the Fuhrer killed Isaac himself. After he realized that I was done with my secrets he looked so tired and conflicted I almost pitied him. Then he got up, saying he had to think about all this and he should come in the morning to talk more about it. I accepted because I didn't want to pressure him. He had a lot to digest. Poor him; he didn't even know that I retained myself from telling everything I knew about him and his team.

So after he left, I was left to sleep but I couldn't really get my mind to stop from wandering around. Thoughts and speculations were forming in mind, but were easily outnumbered by the questions. One of the most annoying ones was about my name. I didn't really remember it. Should I let people call me by pronouns until it came to me? Or should I make one up? This thing was so frustrating.

Also. I was thinking about Edward and Alphonse. Where were they? If they were here, I knew for some reason they'll be waiting for me to wake up. If they were gone, that meant that they were searching for the Philosopher's Stone. So they probably were in Lior right know. I let my mind see the events happening there, about Leto the fake priest, the naïve believer Rose, about the disappointment when the brothers found out that it was all just another dead end… Oh, how cruel will Edward be to that girl, but it was something I would've said too.

How the fuck did I know all this anyway?! I got so furious with myself, so I kicked my bed, which only raised my disappointment since I was acting like a stupid brat who didn't get his favourite toy. But it was so annoying, to know these things about these people, and not to know the slightest information about yourself. Why? I knew some things that were yet to happen, or currently happening across this country but I had to fight to remember my name. I was scaring Roy with this, and running in front of spears, but couldn't remember the face of my parents. It was... very frustrating to say at least.

Furthermore, it was unsettling for things just to pop up like this in your mind, information that shouldn't be known coming to you just like that. Annoyed and stressed out, I finally got up ready to do anything but lie in bed thinking about how helpless I was.

I remembered that the hospital from Central had an amazing view from the roof and decided since it was almost morning that I should watch the sunrise. It was more entertaining than fighting with yourself anyway.

-/-

A few hours after I was eating my breakfast, which came with a delay since I needed to calm the nurse when she panicked, seeing my empty bed, telling her I just went for a walk. She was still giving me suspicious looks, most probably because of my fit yesterday, when she left the room letting me stuff myself with pancakes, as I was dying from hunger.

I was in the middle of devouring one when the door opened and a blonde haired man entered, seeing me in my full beauty when trying to fit the third bite into my already full mouth. I couldn't do anything but choke myself while trying to swallow as fast as I could, which only made things worse. So after a coughing phase, and swallowing and coughing more, I was able to look the man with a vision blurred by tears of pain. He was watching me, bewildered, mouth agape and unable to form a response to my delicacy and extinguish manners. Trying to save the situation, I jumped of bed, the cold floor making contact with my bare feet as I walked to him and shook his hand.

He was actually very tall, I guessed he was around 1.9 metres, so my face was only reaching his torso. He was wearing blue military uniforms and had an unlighted cigarette in his mouth, his blue eyes watching me closely amazed. From his epaulets, I guessed he was a lower rank officer, but I knew he wasn't a bad guy. Only one person could be walking around with that cancer-giving stick in his mouth like that. "Welcome, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc. Nice to meet you," I said sure of myself, trying to save my dignity and any respect this man could have for my person from vanishing. But I forgot that he had to say his name first just after the words left my mouth.

I didn't know what Roy told the man, but my greeting was clearly took him aback. It was clear that I wasn't waiting for him and I couldn't have known who he was for sure, so I clearly didn't have any back-up plan for this leak.

"Damn, Mustang wasn't exaggerating at all when he said you knew everything about everything. Nice to meet you uh…Miss."

"Thank you. And sorry for my earlier…manners. You can call me whatever you want since I don't really have a name at the moment."

Carefree, I walked back to the bed, jumping on it and resuming my meal since I wasn't even half satisfied. Jean just watched me with fascination as I devoured my 5th plate of pancakes hastily.

"You sure are hungry."

"Well I guess I am. But I don't see a problem in that. It's free food after all."

"But how? I mean look at how small you are! Do you even reach 1.6 metres?"

For a second I ignored what he said before I realized what he meant. Did he just call me short? The pancake I was holding stopped in mid-air, halfway to my mouth, my glare harder and sharper than McDoughal's spear that wounded me a while ago.

"Did you just call me short?" I said in what could be an indifferent tone.

"Well yes….well this is how you look..."he answered, a little flustered by my look, but he didn't manage to finish the sentence, as my pancake planted itself on his face.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CALLING ME SMALL?!" I snapped, my voice rising so high it could shatter glass. "I AM 1.62 METRES, JUST SO YOU KNOW!"

The pancake slipped off Jean's face onto the floor with a thump, his face looking at me dumb-founded from under the maple syrup. Then he burst out laughing, cutting my eruption.

"Oh man, you sound just like him. Your reaction is almost the same too. Guess the s-word is forbidden around you too." He said between laughs. "Sorry, my bad, but you look indeed very …petite." He corrected himself quickly at my threatening scowl. "Sorry; my bad." He said once again trying to retain his laugh.

I wasn't small or short looking! For some reason his words have deeply insulted me. I mean, I wasn't the tallest person alive, but I wasn't the smallest either. I knew girls at school that even stood on heels weren't really reaching me. And I wasn't petite. That meant delicacy and made me think of flowers on a field. I was actually very athletic looking, with my broad shoulders and long legs. And even though I had some forms, that didn't mean I could be classified as fat, even though I critiqued myself while looking in the mirror. But I wasn't short or petite!

HE was still snickering though, so I decided it was time to find out why was he here. "Is Mustang THAT worried that I might be an enemy, so he sends a guard? Or were you so curious about my powers that came to yourself to find out if I was for real?" I said in a still upset tone.

Jean smiled and lit his cigarette. I thought for a second to make him stop but the smell was familiar and who was I to stop people from doing what they liked so I ignored it.

"None of the above actually." He said after sucking a deep breath of smoke. "Mustang sent me here to discharge you since you look ok. We are going to East City and you are going to tail us. Actually this is an order but we don't want to report you and…. your situation to the upper military since we don't know how they will respond to this. We are going to keep an eye on you, but still register you as an ordinary civilian so I think you will play as a younger sibling to one of us."

I believed what he said but that wasn't the rest of it. Mustang also saw me as a threat and opportunity. He wanted to advance ranks as quickly as possible and my knowledge made me valuable, and a good enemy. In addition, it was unpredictable what my memories could bring so it was better to play safe. I didn't doubt his good reasoning that he was a bit worried about me as a person, but I didn't doubt his ambition and need to protect everyone that belonged to him. And my knowledge of his connection to Riza was particularly dangerous.

"I understand." I said. "There is no problem with that matter as long as you feed me. For some reason I am very hungry." And I swallowed another pancake. "But I want to meet the Elric brothers as soon as they come from Lior."

Jean just watched me for a second, considering my answer after then nodding in agreement. "After you finish your …meal, you should pack things and be ready to leave because we have train to catch at 12."

"You know you are lucky I didn't sleep last night since my usual wake up hour is at noon. And did you forget, Lieutenant Obvious, that my only belongings are these awful scrubs? How am I supposed to pass as a civilian if I walk around looking like an escaped convict from a mental facility?"

"We have that problem solved already; I will come back with some clothes. Also don't mention to anyone about our conversation," He said before standing up from his chair and heading to the door.

"What about my imaginary friend Steve?" I yelled after him but he just closed the door to my face.

"Rude," I muttered. But I didn't complain about the circumstances. Roy was getting me out of town fast since Central was the worst and most dangerous place to hide a secret. Also, he was giving me a backup story and a reason to stay while watching me carefully and analysing my moves closely. Also, he would find out if I knew something new since I was probably going to crash at a place belonging to him or one of his subordinates. He was indeed a smart son of a bitch, but he still lost at chess to Grumman. I was really curious what will he say the old eccentric General about my presence at his Headquarters. Maybe I could play chess too. I wasn't very bad at it after all.

Biting the last pancake, I decided that this was getting interesting. And for some reason, I was enjoying every part of it.

-/-

I didn't believe myself for actually being nervous when I was going to meet actual strangers. Yet still I fidgeted for a while in my hospital room, trying to make the best out of the attire picked for me, which actually made me feel so girly and stupid that I was going to beg for some ugly military pants. I was wearing a yellowish dress that reminded me of the sixties and jazz music. My hair still unnerved me so I had to catch him in a ponytail, so my face was showing it at its fullest. It wasn't round, more oval looking actually, high cheekbones, full pinkish lips, brown eyebrows and a big forehead. Yep, I was going to die.

Showing every feature like that made me very uncomfortable, but I couldn't pinpoint the reason why. But making me wear a dress, and a yellow coloured one made me want to murder Havoc before his cigarettes did the job for me. He was so going to pay for this.

Annoyed I exited my room, wishing I had stayed the whole day in bed eating pancakes, and heading towards the nurses station where my enemy was discharging me. When I got there, he was just completing the papers, but stopped when seeing me approach. I couldn't really make his expression before I went to him and stomped my foot full force on his.

He let a cry of pain and jumped from his place looking annoyed, while rubbing his feet through the thick military boot, trying to keep his balance while standing just on one feet.

"What the hell was that for?" he exclaimed deeply annoyed.

"For making me look ridiculous," I hissed, ready to snap at him again but he didn't give me that chance as he went and gave the nurse, watching us stupefied, the papers. After saying a cheery 'Have a good day' to the busty woman (almost making me puke), he came to me and dragged me to the exit, his hand clenched tightly on my arm.

"Don't you ever do that again," He said after we were outside, the sun shining above us brightly.

"Or what? You are going to beat me? Nothing I haven't felt before." I said as I started to walk on the sidewalk. He soon followed me and said, not restraining his amusement

"You know, our car is in the parking lot. That can be reached by going the other way around." I stopped in my tracks, feeling like an idiot and trying to keep my cheeks from warming up shamefully. Stuttering, I turned around while Havoc was laughing his ass off at my actions. "Not-t like you said-d anything earlier about a car you-u idiot!"

He continued to laugh at me all the way to the station, and stopped only after I threatened I was going to say to the woman he was going to marry that he smelled badly. Not that I knew who was going to marry him though. But my attack had the effect I wanted, making him stop from blabbering nonsense.

My foul mood was aggravating when we parked to the station. I could already see the cluster of officers in blue uniforms waiting for us: Breda talking loudly with a reserved Falman, Roy looking like he wanted to be anywhere but standing in the middle of the road, a shy Fuery trying to raise his voice to say something and the ever vigilant Hawkeye that, even though she looked like she wasn't interested in the discussion, was searching the surroundings for threats.

Ok, I was totally panicking. When Havoc stopped the engine I grasped my seatbelt like a sailor grasps a life buoy in a stormy sea. How was I going to talk to them without making them hate me? I didn't know why, but I was sure everyone hated me. They were already suspicious of my past and knowledge. How was I going to speak to them?

"Hey kid, you okay?" The voice interrupted my train of thoughts and I looked up at Havoc, who was watching me closely. "You're kind of trembling. If wearing a dress is such a big deal to you I can find something fast before the train leaves…"

"How am I going to meet them?" I interrupted, my voice sounding rough. "How am I going to speak to them without making them hate me? I mean, I AM a freak. I don't even know my name. They are the amazing Hawkeye, who is the most brilliant woman I have ever known; Roy the Flame Alchemist, who is tortured by his desire to make the world better; Fuery, who is a genius with anything electronic; and Breda and Falman, two of the most loyal people I have ever seen." Dammit, if I wasn't so pathetic... Jean watched me closely, analysing everything I said to him and trying to digest that I knew that much. After all they were still trying to find out the extent of my information.

"You are not a freak." he finally added. "I've met some weird folks while working in the military and I don't think you are in the same category as them. You are just a girl with some memory problems and a bad temper followed by a bad mouth, but I don't see anything unusual. And I don't know what you heard about us but we aren't that great. The stories that are told about us are just stories. I don't think they will hate you."

I remained speechless for a few seconds, trying to completely understand what just happened. Did Jean Havoc just encourage me? Did he just define my condition as normal? I didn't know what to say to him because I was sure nobody had done something like this for me in my entire life. While I was still searching for some grateful words, I felt a pat on my shoulder and I looked to see his usual cheery self.

"Now let's go, before Hawkeye decides it's best to take out her guns out. That woman is very scary when she wants to." I felt my eyes burning but I nodded since I didn't want to make things more uncomfortable. So I decided to use my best figure of speech, the never-disappointing sarcasm.

"You just say that because she can shoot better than you," I remarked as I exited the car and started walking towards the group. Jean was immediately by my side, yelling that Hawkeye shot better than anyone alive, so I couldn't really blame him for not being as close to her god-like skills…

I just smiled knowingly, letting him talk his way out of this since I owned him. When we reached the group we were still arguing about his combat skills, and my nervousness had mostly diminished so I could say in my own sarcastic way a hello to everyone.

"Hey everyone, nice to finally meet you. You all probably have heard of me, as well as I hearing of you, so things will get very strange from this point. Also, feel free to call me whatever you like since I don't really have memories concerning my identity. Oh, I bet we could try Amnesia girl or something like that…"

-/-

I actually enjoyed the train ride. I left the window open so I could see everything and feel the wind ruffle my hair. I was watching buildings turn into houses and houses turn into land as we existed Central. It was going to take a day and a little to reach the Eastern Headquarters. For a second I almost asked about taking a plane, but my common sense made me stop. It was so unusual, this feeling; to know that the world (in a way) is and isn't the same as I knew it. I had memories of things that clearly didn't exist here. But, it was ok because they weren't meant to exist here. So many things crashed into my mind, on one side the feeling that everything was going as it should've, and on the other side the feeling that everything was wrong. The same thing happened with my memories. Without realizing it, I separated them into two categories: information and things I have really lived before. My memories were mostly images from my childhood, some figures I couldn't make out not very important. The information were things that belonged to this world, things I shouldn't really know about people from here. But that didn't mean they were complete, as gaps were present even in this category. This whole situation sucked so much. Couldn't I at least find my name?

As the train accelerated I pulled back in my head in the cart, and looked around the wagon. It was a special military wagon and it was different from the wooden seats that could be found in the civilian part. Everyone was sitting in a lazy mode, trying to cope with the unbearable heat. Roy actually fell asleep while reading something, and Havoc and Breda we're playing cards. Fuery was doing something, (probably fixing something,) and Falman went a while ago somewhere. What got my attention was Hawkeye cleaning her weapon. She was doing it without thinking, as she looked lost deep into her thoughts. I approached her curiously to see all the pieces that formed the weapon shining on her lap as she cleaned them time after time.

She methodically choose every piece, wiped it carefully with a white fabric and put them back in the same spot. It was fascinating and I didn't realize how close I got to her while watching the process until her eyes fixed on me, piercing me. I jumped back a little because she was indeed scary when she looked at me like that.

"Can I help you?" she asked, her voice stern, not stopping the process while talking to me. "No, sorry. I was just curious on how you clean your guns since I haven't seen one up-close until now, and I think guns are pretty awesome in the way they are made; I mean, everything you just did looks so orderly and I was just curious…" I stuttered hastily, not wanting her to believe I was trying to steal the gun from her. She watched me struggle with speaking for a while after she adverted her eyes back to her work without saying anything. I took this as an invite so I sat down on the nearest available seat and watched the whole process start again. The third time I thought I could do it myself when Hawkeye stopped and handed me the fabric.

"Go on, do it yourself." She said. Carefully I took the cloth from her hands and a piece of the gun and started cleaning the already pristine surface. After that, I took another one until my hands became steadier and the process started to feel natural. It was indeed very relaxing and I understood why Hawkeye did it. It didn't really let your mind wonder on other things than the job in front of you, which was a blessing ever since I woke up last night. After I finished everything, I looked up at Hawkeye, which nodded in approval at my work.

"Guns are not toys, you see," she started speaking while she decided it was time to assemble back the pistol. "They are weapons that actually can hurt people if not used right. Even when they are like this you must never forget what they can do."

I stayed quiet for a second, thinking about the meaning behind her words. She was probably thinking how she used to use her guns as weapons for hurting people. But that wasn't what they really were.

"Maybe, but that's not what they are meant for. People are helpless so they always have searched for a way to drag themselves out of that state. Even alchemy and arts and constructions and everything are just ways for people to feel less helpless. Guns help people believe that they are not worthless. Guns are just tools, if they are used for other purposes than defending one's life it's not their fault. You don't say the cutting knife is evil until you kill someone with it. Guns are a reason of hope, a tool to protect yourself."

Riza stopped assembling while I was talking and she was facing me fully. She looked a little shocked about my statement, her eyes losing their guard for a second. But then her wall was back up and her thoughts became her thoughts one again.

"Yes, guns make us feel a little powerful. And they are meant to protect yourself and the ones you care about." She resumed her work, a smile tugging at her lips. "You are a smart girl, Miss. Not many see the guns as tools and think it's up to the wielder to use them. But sometimes you are forced to use a tool in a wrong way." And with that her expression becomes haunted thinking way back to when she was forced to do awful things.

"Well, it doesn't matter what you did in those circumstances; you had no other choice than to obey. We live with this illusion that we are free and we can choose to do anything, but our actions are just so manipulated by people or situations. It doesn't define someone as a person the way he acts when he is cornered or doesn't have any other choice. It matters what kind of person he is in a daily basis. Of course, if you think objectively not everyone does realize this. You are condemned based on your actions and behaviour in one moment, without someone ever thinking that a situation is more than what can be seen. So tools are not evil, and people are not evil, life turns everything evil as things that happen are evil."

This time, Riza was shocked and I could clearly see that on her face. I could sense the boys weren't into their game so much as before and I didn't think Roy was so asleep as before. But I did believe in my words and in the goodness in these people.

"It's ok to blame yourself for the things that happened because it's part of the human nature to feel guilty and ashamed, but it's not ok to condemn yourself when you were forced into something, everybody already does that for you. If you aren't going to fight for your innocence, who else will?"

"It's not that simple." Riza said, her eyes looking at me as they haven't really seen me before.

"No it isn't, because if it were our lives would be boring." I said smiling. "We just think there is one truth to them all. We forget that humanity appeared as a divergence of truths."

I let Riza think about what I said. She wouldn't believe me because she couldn't let all that guilt go away, but maybe one day she would see that not everyone was the sum of their worst sins. I wanted to add something but I might've gone too far already, so I raised myself from the sit and exited the wagon. Between two wagons, the wind was blowing fully, making my dress dance in the air. I let myself breathe in the air, feeling much better than I should have, letting myself feel as if I was flying free from everything.

-/-

The rest of the trip were the most boring hours of my life. Nothing special happened despite some small chat and the feeling of impatience in the air. So after we arrived the next day in East City I almost jumped out of the train. The group followed me from behind, looking more or less tired. I knew that most of them didn't sleep very well in the wagon chairs last night. I didn't sleep at all myself since I wasn't tired, a weird thing since I didn't sleep for two days now. I was waiting to see who was going to assume responsibility for me and then crash at their place, hoping to find the so-promised food and some rest.

Everyone was carrying their baggage, making me feel weird since all my belongings were a dress and some shoes. After finalizing the journey, we all stopped in front of the East Station all the eyes falling on me, literally since I was the smallest in the group.

"What? Have I got something on my face?"

"No "said Mustang on a grave tone. "But we have to decide who is going to deal with you for now at least until we meet tomorrow at the east Headquarters to decide everything.". Silence fell into the group everyone waiting for another person to break the ice. I can't say how awkward and embarrassed I was feeling about their silence.

"Seriously, if I am such a bother I could crash in your office and sleep on that uncomfortable couch. Don't act like I am such a huge problem, I can take care of myself."

"Like you did since you can remember right?" said Mustang in a tone which said he totally didn't believe I was capable of taking care of myself. My personality and pride flared, feeling the sting and I was prepared to start yelling at him when Riza intervened between the two of us.

"I will take her to my place. Neither of you know nothing about girls nor have apartments big enough or prepared to keep another person in them."

I looked at her suspiciously since she was the last I thought was going to offer taking me in, since the whole trip she had eyed me like I was going to start to bomb the train any second.

"Well, umm thank you." I said awkwardly, feeling like I had to add something to her generous offer.

"Well if this matter is settled I will want to go home right now since this move to Central and back was exhausting," continued Riza like she didn't hear my pathetic attempt to express my gratitude. "We will meet tomorrow morning and wait for Edward's and his brother's return. Farewell gentlemen," she said last, practically dragging me from the incredulous group. I actually started believing that Riza taking me in was the worst idea ever.

-/-

I actually was afraid of the situation until we reached her apartment. It was like I imagined it: pristine, everything arranged in a perfect order. Actually, it was a little bigger than I expected, since it had two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and a cosy hall. Even though everything looked settled and in perfect order, the thing that annoyed me mostly was the house gave a warm feeling.

"You will sleep in the bedroom from right there. Also, if you use something you will put it right where you found it. In the morning we will wake early since we have to reach the Headquarters before everyone else, as I have to make sure everything is in order. Dinner will be ready at 7 pm and you cannot leave the apartment. Did I make myself clear?"

I gulped, unable to speak, and nodded. I wasn't used to such a strict program and orders.

"I will go take a shower now. You can take one after, and I will give you some spare clothes." With that, she left me in the middle of the living room wondering what to do. Actually I was scared to touch anything, so I won't disturb the perfect apartment. I entered carefully, and checked the room: A couch and a fireplace, two armchairs, and a few lamps. The room was dark since the heavy curtains were filtering the light from outside. Carefully, I checked the first thing that got my attention, a big old-fashioned library. There weren't many books and I checked the titles curious. Some were novels, some were practical books and there was a section for books about guns, but what got my attention was an old raspy thing from the bottom shelf. Trying not to rip it apart, I took the book and opened it. It looked like a very old journal, and while I went through the pages I realized it was an alchemic journal. It was coded, yes, but some terms were clearly referring to alchemy. Checking further I even found drawings of transmutation circles and alchemic symbols. I was fascinated and I tried to memorize as much as I could from this. I wanted to learn anything I could. Closing the book I turned it upside down, opening the back cover. At the end of the notes there were two initials 'B.H.' and a year: 1874. The year was way back, but what really got my attention were the initials. I knew that somewhere in my mind I knew what they meant.

Concentrating I tried to remember but I couldn't quite reach the information. Stubbornly, I continued to focus and push, until I reached the information, and as I was about to grasp it, pain effulged my head and I fell to my knees, keeping my head clutched into my hands and trying to make the burning go away. The pain was a hundred times much stronger than before, but between the pain waves, I knew information hid. So I pushed further into the blazing storm, feeling myself lose consciousness from the pain. As I thought I couldn't go further a name came to me, alongside images of two children. A girl with short hair, looking somewhat timid and a taller boy with raven black hair that smiled friendly to her. But the name resonated deeper into my mind, taking over the children. Berthold Hawkeye.

I let myself be pushed away from the information feeling weak. I didn't realize I was lying on something just after minutes. It took me longer to comprehend that I was no longer on the floor and a voice was calling to me. It took me a minute to open my eyes and concentrate the fuzzy mess into a face. Riza was watching me concerned, her eyes opened fully. Carefully I blinked trying to make the pain go away.

Seeing that I was reaccepting her voice she said something and turned back with a glass of water. When I tried to gulp it, the pain made me flinch but my thirst was bigger.

After that I needed a while before I thought I could form words. "Uh...". Even then, when I tried hard, the sounds leaving my mouth sounding deplorable.

"Do you hear me? Can you speak?" Riza's tone was urgent. And I tried to make the muscles listen to me.

"Ye… ss," I croaked. Trying again, I saw I could form the word completely, without stuttering. "Yes." The word came rasped, the effort making me close my eyes in a attempt to keep the pain at bay.

"Oh thank God. You scared me for a second. What happened? Are you ok?" said Riza, her words really sounding true.

No I wasn't. And I was just fighting consciousness. My insides were twisting, and I felt a pain in my chest. No, I definitely wasn't alright. I looked up to Riza's face that was looking distressed at me. I gathered my power, gulping a few times and said something else in return.

"Bert.. hold. Hawk. Eye. You are the daughter of the first Flame Alchemist."

A.N. Plot twist and cliff-hanger. Don't kill me!

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for over 200 views of this story. I am more than grateful and amazed by your interest. You're the best. The next update will be next week on Wednesday or the end of the week, in the worst case scenario.

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See you in thy next chapter.