A/N: Before the story continues on what happened when Embry imprinted on Tanya, the next chapter or so will be Tanya POV from her past.

Reviews, good or bad, are always appreciated :D

Disclaimer:

Characters based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga.

Tanya POV

There was one place that had been in my mind lately. Forks, Washington. The weather there was not the best, but being a resident of Alaska for a long time, rainy days didn't seem so bad. Wet or cold, for me, there was no difference. Well, it was not the place, per se, but the person there. The person who I felt had been the reason of my being, the reason for living: Edward Cullen.

In my decades of existence, never had I felt anything stronger than what I felt for Edward. Unfortunately, the feelings were not mutual. Over and over again, Edward had turned my down in the most gentle manner that he could. But I had no intention of giving up. I might have been with human males before, but none of them made my dead heart ache like the way it did for Edward.

I had always hoped that Edward would realize that we were meant for each other. When Rosalie told me before that Carlisle initially intended her to be Edward's mate, I was surprised and relieved at the same time. Relieved since Rosalie found her mate in Emmett, which gave me another hope with Edward. No way I could have competed with Rosalie's beauty; knowing that Edward bore no interest in her gave me a chance.

My sisters Kate and Irina had told me again and again not to pursue a lost cause, but I couldn't help myself. I just continually hoped that one day, Edward would realize that he had been wrong when he turned me down. I hoped that he would treat me more than a friend, more than just another member of the family.

--

My dead heart rejoiced when he came to Alaska one day in winter. I knew he was supposed to be in school, and yet he was here, with us. I hoped for the best. He might have changed his mind; he finally accepted that we were meant to be together.

However, this thought changed. I could see that something was bothering him and I hoped that it was enough for him to stay here. I was wrong. He escaped to Alaska because it was the only place he could think of at a sudden decision, but I knew through his eyes that he had no intention of staying. When I looked at him, I knew this was something big. A girl. Only a girl could bring such emotion to a guy's mind. He wouldn't admit it, but I knew. I knew that his dead heart was captured. I didn't know who she was, didn't know what she was; the fact that she captured his attention was enough for me to feel defeated.

It hurt when he left; over and over again, my heart broke and yet I still hoped. How could someone he just saw have so much effect on him? Maybe it was just an initial attraction, maybe he was just intrigued. That could be it, pure intrigue. I would not give up until he found his life partner. Until then, there was still a chance for me, a window of hope.

--

A few months after, a male vampire came. We didn't know who he was or how he found us.

"My name is Laurent. I met the Carlisle and his coven in Forks. He told me about your coven here."

Irina took initial liking to him and introduced us, "My name is Irina, and these are my sisters Kate and Tanya. This is Eleazar and Carmen."

"A pleasure to meet you all."

Before I could stop myself, I asked him, "How are Carlisle and the others?"

Kate and Irina looked at me. They knew I was only interested in the well-being of one certain vampire.

"Unfortunately, things were not as good. I was traveling with two other, James and his mate Victoria. We came across them when they were playing baseball. They had a female human with them."

When he said human, my sisters and I looked at each other. It was not like Cullens to associate themselves with human. Aside from the hospital and school, they have kept things to themselves. Laurent seemed to notice our exchanged looks.

"It looked like she was with the boy with the bronze hair."

I gasped, "Edward." Before I could stop myself, I bolted out of the door. I didn't hear the other details of his story. All I knew was that my hope was shuttered. Edward found someone; she must have been the same girl that caused him to run away a few months ago. A human. It was a human that stole his heart from me.

It took days before I went back home. My sisters were waiting for me with open arms and hugged them both. Laurent apologized for being the bearer of bad news and I told him it was not his fault. My family knew what I was going through and none of them brought up the name that would surely bring me over the edge.

Irina and Laurent hit it off from the first day. He tried to accept our vegetarian living. It was hard for him and needed to hunt more often than necessary. Irina was happy to accompany him every time. Kate and I knew there was a spark between them. We're happy for her, knowing that she found someone.

Laurent, however, didn't stay with us for a long time. He needed more time to get used to our way of living. As soon as he was totally in control of his thirst, he promised Irina that he would come back.

--

Months after Laurent's departure, Carlisle called our house. His family wanted to come. We were surprised since we knew that the Edward and the others attended Forks High School and the school year already started. But their family hadn't been here in Alaska for while so we welcomed their visit.

When they arrived, that's when we knew what happened. They had to leave Forks; it was because of Edward's girlfriend, a sharp pang in my heart. And it hurt even more when I found out they left because they were protecting her from our kind. All the pain that went through my mind when Laurent first told us about the female human with them came back and it hurt even more.

It bothered me before when Rosalie was supposedly for Edward, but with beauty like hers, there was no competition. She was a goddess in her own being. But how could you compete with a human? Was does she have that our kind didn't have? Why did Edward to find his happiness with a human, a human who was fragile and would not live through eternity? Why her and not me?

"I'm really sorry for the pain I'm causing you," Edward said.

I was surprised as I didn't hear him. I went to the mountains to be alone; I wanted to be with the Cullens, but my pride wouldn't let me. I was angry; I was upset; most of all, I was jealous.

"It's not your fault that Jasper couldn't control himself. Your family needed to leave. We're all family here; it's fine that you stay with us. You would do the same for us," I answered as if he was referring to the pain of him being with me and not the fact that he already fell in love.

"I was not apologizing for our presence, my presence. I'm sorry for breaking your heart over and over again."

Damn mind reader. "I couldn't control your feelings like you couldn't control the weather."

I started walking away but he followed me. "What do you want, Edward? Forgiveness? There's nothing to forgive. You fell in love with a human; it was not your fault. It was not your fault either that Jasper lost his control and you had to leave Forks. It was not your fault that I couldn't let go of my feelings for you; that I couldn't accept the fact that we're not for each other. There's nothing to forgive!" I snapped at him.

I was surprised when I turned around and saw him kneeling on the ground, hand on his face. If we could cry, tears would be flowing on his face. I never saw him with such sorrow on his face. I've seen him troubled a few months back when he went here by himself. But this was so much different. He was sobbing; I could feel his heart breaking.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't move from where I was standing. All I could do was to stare at him. I wanted to hold him, to console him, but was this gesture really for him, or was it for me? Did I really want to console him and tell him things would be all right, when in reality I was half wishing that it would turn the other way, giving me a chance with him? No, I couldn't be a hypocrite.

"I tried to feel something other than friendship for you, Tanya. I really tried. I tried it with Rosalie before when Carlisle turned her, knowing his intention. But I couldn't. It would unfair for anyone if I pretend to feel what I didn't. It would be unfair for you," he sobbed.

I walked towards him and sat beside him. I inhaled, savored his scent. As I exhaled, I also tried to blow off the feelings that I had for him lingering in my mind, in my heart, in my being. It was difficult; it hurt so much, but they said that you have to let the one you love go. Let them decide on their own who they wanted to be with, and it was obvious with Edward that he didn't want to be away from her.

"I'm sorry for keeping pushing myself to you, Edward. I know you're being a gentleman every time you turn me down; I just don't want to give up, not until you found someone to give your heart to. Laurent told us about her and I wouldn't hear any of it. Do you mind telling me about her?" I felt it would be easier for me to let go if I knew what kind of a person she was, if she was deserving of his love that I would never get.

"Her name is Bella. She moved to Forks early this year. Remember when I went here a few months ago?" He asked, I nodded, and then he continued. "I heard in your mind that you thought it was because of a girl, and it was. She's my singer."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Your singer? How did you control yourself?"

"It was hard at first. She sat beside me in Biology and I almost slaughtered the whole class because of her, but I kept thinking of Carlisle and what he built for us. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself it I destroy all the things he worked for. I ran away; I went here. I tried to clear my head, but her pull was strong. I didn't know if it was just her blood that called out for me, or was it something else. I went back, tried to make it through. I fought every urge I had to kill her."

He paused and looked ahead, staring at a blank space. "It was not long after before I realized what pull she had on me. The longing that I felt for her was not because of her blood, but something else. Alice said that I will love her. I hated that vision of hers because Bella was human. She said there were only two things that could happen."

He paused and looked at me. I knew what the two possibilities were, "Either you turn her or she dies in your own hands." He nodded then looked out again.

"Alice was right. I did love her. I still love her. How could I been such a fool? I refuse to turn her. I would not take away what she could have, living a life the way a human should. And I knew I couldn't let her die; I had been protecting her, even from herself. She's a klutz," he chuckled then closed his eyes. I knew he was trying to bring back the memories that he had of her. Probably the only thing he had left of her.

"She must be really something," I said, my voice faint.

He didn't say anything; he just nodded and put his face on his hands. I put my hand on his shoulder; this time, it was not because I longed to feel him under my hand, but because he needed a friend. I was not a good friend for him before; all I could think about was my feelings for him. Now, after I saw the pain he's going through, I knew that I would rather be a friend to him, than be the one who would give him more things to think about.

"Thank you," he whispered.

You're welcome.

We sat there in silence. He told me everything about her; how she looked like, how she couldn't walk straight in a flat surface, how she blushed, the many times he saved her and how much he loved her. It hurt a little bit, but I was glad to have his friendship than not to have him at all.

--

A/N: I wanted to get into the details of Tanya's lack of love life, mostly because of Edward. I wanted to give her more story, rather than just being Tanya of the Denali clan.