The Second Date Chapter 4, a wander over yonder fanfic

Hello, and welcome to the next chapter of The Second Date. I don't really have a lot to say this time, so I'll just get right into it. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Enjoy.

The Second Date: Chapter 4.

Life…

The condition that distinguishes plants and animals from inorganic matter.

The ability to grow, to reproduce, to experience new things, and continuously change until death.

A fitting description, but perhaps a bit too oversimplified.

Life is so much more than just the space between birth and death, and every sentient species in the universe has its own take on the subject.

For example, the Galateans of the planet Skara believe that all people are born dead, and that the only time someone is ever truly alive is when they are engaged in battle.

Dominator had never been to Skara, nor had she ever met a Galatean, but by way of remarkable coincidence, she did unknowingly embrace one of their most sacred beliefs; namely, that only in combat does one truly feel alive.

Unfortunately, as any person who has fought a superior opponent will attest, 'feeling alive' isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

CHING!

Again and again the two forces clashed. Lord Dominator's mighty Lava-Blades vs the Night Mayor's bejeweled walking stick; never before had there been such a mismatched pair of opposing weapons. And yet miraculously, every time they made contact it was a perfect stalemate.

For almost five straight minutes, the two villains fought tooth and nail, and yet, with the exception of the Night Mayor's opening slash across Dominator's cheek, neither had been able to land a single blow on the other.

'Who is this guy?' the lime-skinned villainess asked herself as she attempted to bifurcate her formidable foe, only for him to yet again deflect her blade with that infernal walking stick. Seriously, what was that thing made of? She must have hit it at least a hundred times by now and yet it didn't even look dented; whereas she was being forced to reshape her blades after every tenth swing due to blunting. It was absolutely unnatural.

But even more unnatural was the way this guy moved. Dominator had known he'd be fast, like lightning fast, but she had no idea he'd be this agile too. Those long, lanky arms of his were able to maneuver that cane anywhere he needed it; no matter what insane angle she attacked from. He had to be double-jointed or something. I mean, what other explanation could there be?

To make matters even worse, about a minute ago, the blue-faced man-bat had started singing; just to taunt her.

"Hack and Slash~ Hack and Slash~ All day long it's Hack and Slash~ Ain't got no Money, Ain't got no Cash~ Cuz 24-7 it's Hack and Slash~"

Okay… maybe calling that singing was being overgenerous. It was more like bad spoken word poetry with something vaguely resembling a tune. But whatever you want to call it, it was super annoying; not to mention humiliating. She was Lord freakin' Dominator for Grop's sake, the destroyer of galaxies. And yet here she was, getting big leagued by a guy who dresses like a dandy and talks like he should be dating his cousin. It was… unnatural.

"Hack and Slash~ Hack and Slash~ All day, every day, Hack and Slash~ Ain't got no Friends, Ain't got no Cash~ Just all day, all night, Hack and Slash~"

'Ugh! This guy is soooo annoying!' Dominator thought as she tried and failed yet again to land a blow on her irksome adversary. 'But he's also really good. I hate to say it, but I could actually lose this one. I gotta end this fast. Maybe with a… Blood Scythe!'

And with that thought, she morphed her right hand into a long, curved sickle and swung it right at the man-bat's stomach; intending to slice him in half. Unfortunately, a split-second before the blade made contact, the Night Mayor jumped high into the air, did a triple backflip, and landed several feet away with a smug grin on his face.

"Too slow, Sugar Pop." He said mockingly as he readjusted his boutonniere. "Maybe you oughta try somethin' else?"

'Okay… that was weird.' She thought before quickly shaking off her astonishment. 'Well if blades won't work, how about some… Hammer Hands!'

She then morphed her blades into a set of giant mallets and charged towards the dapper man-bat like a raging bull. This seemed to catch him off-guard, as he didn't even try to move until it was already too late.

THWOMP!

The twin hammers collided right where the Night Mayor was standing, and the resounding CRUNCH that followed told Dominator that he hadn't slipped away. This pleased her immensely.

"Ha! Gotcha!" she declared with wicked glee.

"No you didn't~" replied a familiar voice casually from a short distance behind.

Overwhelmed with shock, the limed-skinned seductress recalled her mallets, revealing the broken remains of one of Mandrake's robots; which was especially surprising since that hack and his army of antique junk piles were nowhere around.

'Just how fast is this guy?'

"Yoo-hoo~ Oh, Sugar Bear~" the Night Mayor called mockingly. "Are you gonna turn around and face me, or are you fixin' to give up? Cuz if you were ever gonna surrender, now might be the best time."

In that moment, something within Dominator snapped. Then and there she decided that it was high time someone put that smug son of a narf-wrangler in his place. So, to that end, she spun around and held up her right hand.

"Surrender this, Creep-O!"

Then, without any further warning, she fired ten thousand tiny, poison filled darts out of her palm and aimed them all directly at the dandy bat.

'Odds are one of them has to hit you.' The villainess thought cruelly. 'You may be fast, but you're not invulnerable.'

But alas, the Night Mayor did not seem impressed. He just stood his ground with an almost bored look on his face. A couple of seconds before the darts make contact, he held up his bejeweled walking stick and began twirling it in his hand like a high-speed propeller.

Ping!

One by one, the darts were deflected by the Night Mayor's infernal cane. Some fell dead to the ground, others were sent flying to places and targets unknown, while still others were thrown back at their maker. Obviously Dominator was able to avoid these, but for the briefest of moments she regretted not bringing her signature helmet.

Eventually, the cascade of darts died down and the dandy bat ceased his twirling. Then, with a dark twinkle in his eye and a smug grin on his lips, he planted his cane and spoke.

"Is that really the best you can do? I must say, I was expectin' somethin' a little more creative from the great and terrible Lord Dominator. Perhaps your reputation has been a bit… embellished."

That was the final straw. To say that that last comment made Dominator's blood boil would be a grievous understatement. A more accurate description would be, that last comment turned her blood to napalm.

"Oh yeah!" she yelled, sounding positively livid. "Well if you're so tough, then why don't try something besides just jumping out of the way! Go on, I dare you! Take your best shot!"

Many years from now, Dominator would look back on this moment, and remember it as the single dumbest thing she had ever done.

"You're the boss." Replied the Night Mayor with a saucy grin, before he vanished in thin air.

Less than a second later, he reappeared directly in front of her, and before the lime-skinned villainess could even try to react, he rammed the ruby handle of his walking stick right into her chest.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she shrieked as a burst of strange jet black energy erupted from the red jewel and plowed straight into her thorax.

Dominator was no stranger to pain. As a matter of fact, the two of them were old friends. But this was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It was like being struck by lightning, only it was almost… solid. It was difficult to explain, but regardless of how you'd describe it, it was intense. Even through her thick molten armor, the mighty villainess could feel this strange energy overwhelming her senses.

For a split-second, she even felt her heart stop beating.

Unfortunately, no sooner did it start up again, then did the Night Mayor unleash seven more, equally devastating attacks. One to the solar plexus, one to each kidney, one to each deltoid, one to her coccyx, and one final one to the left side of her face; sending her tumbling to the ground.

As she laid there, flat on her back like an intoxicated terrapin, Dominator could still feel the strange black energy writhing around inside her; it was like ever nerve in her body was on fire. So great was this sensory overload that for about a minute or so the villainess went blind. Eventually, the pain died down and her sight returned, but as soon as it did, she noticed that her opponent was standing on her chest, pointing the ruby handle directly at her head.

"I had this here doohickey set to stun before." The Night Mayor said as he gave his walking stick a little twist, causing the red ruby to turn midnight black. "But this next one's gonna splatter your brains all over this here mountain. Any last words?"

"Yeah…" Dominator groaned; still feeling too sore to move. "You… deserve better… than fifth place."

This earned her a mirthful chuckle from the dandy man-bat.

"Well, that's awful sweet of you to say, Darlin'. But you and I both know that that newfangled Leaderboard ain't worth squat diddle bunk." He said in a tone that would have been more playful were it not for the deadly superweapon in his hand. "All it does is measure territory. It doesn't measure the things that really count; like skill, or cunnin' or competence."

"Yeah… I guess you're right…" the villainess admitted weakly. "But listen… before you kill me… there's something I gotta know. Who are you?"

This question earned her yet another chuckle.

"Oh~ So the little girl wants me to tell her a story before I put her to bed, is that it?" he asked condescendingly. "Well… I guess there's no harm. But I swear girl, if you try anythin' funny, I'll make that last beatin' I gave you feel like a day at the beach. Savvy?"

"Yeah… I savvy."

"Good. Now then, I guess the best place to start is at the beginnin'." he said before clearing his throat. "Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away from here, there was a happy lil' planet, full of happy lil' people. However, due to the carelessness and stupidity of two former allies, that happy lil' planet ended up being the casualty of a galaxy wide civil war."

Even in her battered state, Dominator detected a hint of sadness in the dandy bat's voice; not that she really cared.

"Now miraculously, one of the planet's inhabitants survived, but with no home and no family, he was forced to live the life of a wanderer; bouncin' from planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy, for ten long years." He continued, now sounding a little enraged by the memory. "Until one day, he ended up in this here galaxy, with nothin' but the hat on his head and an idea in his noodle. The scheme to end all schemes. The single greatest act of villainy this universe will ever see!"

"Really?"

"Oh, you bet your sweet bippy, Darlin'" the Night Mayor answered, before continuing with his story. "But alas, in order to bring this plan to fruition, the man needed time, and he needed resources, but most importantly, he needed to be left alone. So after weeks of ruminatin' he decided to join the game of Galactic Villainy. But while all the other fellas were busy runnin' around and shoutin' 'Hey look at me' he just stepped into the background and got straight to work."

The Night Mayor paused for only a moment to let out a deep sigh of self-satisfaction.

"For almost twenty years, he hid in the shadows of men like Mandrake, Threat, Awesome, and Hater. Never pickin' a fight with the big dogs, never goin' out of his way to get noticed. Just conquerin' planets one at a time and as quietly as possible. Until one day, not too long ago, a second wanderer came to this humble galaxy. One with powers of positivity far beyond those of mortal man."

"Wander…"

"The very same." He answered with an almost joyous look on his face. "And with his phenomenal friendship powers, this strange being dethroned the galaxy's big capo, and in so doing triggered one of the biggest land grabs in history. Allowin' the man to rise from number twenty-six to number five in a matter of weeks. Settin' his plans a full decade ahead of schedule. Oh~ how he thought it was an act of providence."

Suddenly, his face grew stern and cold, as all the joy from a minute ago was replaced by bitter rage.

"But then one day, a third wanderer washed up in this galaxy, one who jeopardized everythin' the man had worked so long and hard for." The Night Mayor said as he not so subtlety aimed the glowing ruby at Dominator's throat. "Because unlike the first two, this cosmic hobo sought not friendship or power, but only to satisfy her infantile lust for mindless destruction. So in order to protect himself, and his lofty dream, the man vowed to put an end to this arrogant little upstart, by any means necessary."

Before the dandy bat could say anymore, his staff gave off a loud DING; which seemed to put him in a much better mood.

"Oh~ well would ya look at that. It seems I accidentally set this little thingy here to Charge instead of Standby. Which means that while I was busy jawin' away, this little puppy was busy buildin' up enough energy to split that big fancy lava-ship of yours right down the middle." The Night Mayor said with dark amusement. "Ain't that just the bee's knees. And what fortuitous timin' too. Cuz Storytime's over, and I intend to send you off to slumberland with one heck of a bang."

With that said, he raised his walking stick high above his head and prepared to strike.

"Oh, where are my manners?" the dandy bat said in a clearly condescending manner. "Any last, last words, Sugar Pop?"

"Yeah…" the villainess replied, suddenly sporting a weak but cheeky grin. "Look… down…"

Seemingly overcome with curiosity, the Night Mayor complied with her strange request, and almost immediately all the color drained from his dark blue face.

By way of contrast, Dominator's cheeky grin grew wider and more Cheshire-like. She knew from his horrified expression that her would-be killer must have finally realized that while he was blah-blah-blah-ing, she had been stealthily morphing her chest plate into a high-powered magma cannon; the barrel of which he was standing smackdab in the middle of. He tried to run away of course, but, much to the lime-skinned villainess' cruel amusement, he quickly discovered that his ankles were securely fastened to the sides of the barrel via a pair of indestructible shackles. He wasn't going anywhere.

Now, to his credit, the Night Mayor didn't react to this sudden turn of events the way most villains would. He's didn't scream, he didn't cry, he didn't curse, he didn't even struggle. He just looked down at his opponent, spared her an almost respectful grin, and said,

"Clever girl."

BLAM!

End Notes:

Well, that's end of this chapter, I hope you all enjoyed it. Wander will be in the next one. I promise. Anyway, don't forget to fav, follow, and review. And I'll see you all next time. Peace.