Chapter 4: That monster.
Alexander Sanders didn't only act like a dog. He looked like one.
Izaya grinned with mirth, as he watched Alexander use his large clumsy hands to grip his chopsticks. He was barely managing to pick up the sushi and kept nervously glancing at Izaya as if for approval when he thought he wasn't aware. Izaya was always aware. Alexander had slick blond hair, and was tall and lean in build. He had a fair face, and sky blue eyes, that seemed clear like water. His cheeks seemed to always hold a faint blush, and he was suited in formal business attire, which stood out badly in the informal sushi shop.
"You seem hungry today Alex-kun," Izaya teased, finding great amusement in the way Alexander flushed in embarrassment and fumbled his chopsticks.
"Ah, no," Alex replied sheepishly, trying to get a grip on the impossible dining tools he had seen commonly used in restaurants, "This is how much I usually eat, so..."
Izaya giggled, and declared, "Some more fatty tuna for me please!"
"Oh yes," Simon replied, smiling happily as he started to gather ingredients, "Sushi good. Eat more sushi, you get happy."
"Yes I do," Izaya agreed, watching Alex observe the way Simon crafted the individual pieces in amazement. Simon stacked them in neat rows of two, and served the duo the large plate of fatty tuna.
"Are you new to Japan, Alex-kun?" Izaya asked, cheerfully biting into a piece, "Holding chopsticks is a lot of work isn't it~?"
"Y-yes," Alex blushed, and readjusted his hold on the two wooden sticks, "I came to Japan two months ago..."
"What did you do before you came to Japan?"
"I was a garbage man... cleaned up garbage..."
"Ew, sounds gross!" Izaya laughed, "Why would you want to become my secretary of all other jobs? Good pay?"
"That, and uh..."
"Yes~?"
"...nothing. Um, Nakura is a boy's name right?"
"Oh that," Izaya brushing back his extensive hair with a shrug, already wondering how he was going to explain his reasons for cross dressing, "We'll talk about that later. For now let's talk about you okay?"
The blush was back. "O-okay..."
After questioning, Izaya found that he fit just fine for the job. Other than not being a girl that is. That didn't mean he wasn't going to do some extensive background research on this Alexander Sanders when he got home. He had bid farewell to the large man and the man had saluted back before slipping off into the crowd. A salute? Strange method of saying goodbye. He added the little bits of information into his brain catalog. He had so much to think about~! Feeling happy and energetic, he started to leave the small shop, when he felt Simon's stare burning holes into his back.
"W-what?" Izaya smiled, turning around to meet the large buff man who always managed to tower over him without fail.
"Izaya, no trouble okay? Trouble no good. Sushi good."
"What~ you saw through me so easily haha!" Izaya lowered his voice from girl mode to how he usually talked, "Was it that easy to tell?"
"No, very hard. Almost no recognize, but Izaya like fatty tuna sushi. Fatty Tuna sushi good."
"I see, then I guess I'll have to stop ordering it then huh?"
"Izaya..."
"Relax Simon," Izaya smiled wearily, "I'm not planning anything just yet. I'm going to go home now then okay? No trouble."
Izaya nodded to Simon, turned around and started to walk away. He was eager to get home to his comfortable abode, and start putting his vast information network which had been dormant to good use. Simon was really something though, seeing through his disguise just like that. Maybe he should actually go buy some female clothing and make up. Perhaps it would make it harder to distinguish who he was.
"Izaya."
He was a good distance away from the shop, but Simon's voice was heard clearly. Izaya sighed and turned around.
"Yes Simon?"
"You very pretty as girl. Very pretty."
"Oh please Simon, that's not flattering at all," Izaya laughed, and with that, he turned around and slipped into the crowd. His hood still up, he followed the crowd's flow and checked his phone again for anything worth replying to. It had seemed that Alex had written to him again, saying that he enjoyed the meal at Russia Sushi and that he hoped to go again sometime. He texted back that he wanted to show Alex his headquarters tomorrow, and that maybe he could get working right away. When the positive reply appeared within the next few moments, he turned off his cellphone and slipped it back into his pockets. Alexander Sanders was a weird human, and he definitely wanted to start a background check so that he could start loving him as soon as possible. Not that he didn't love him in the beginning anyways.
"Love, love love, loove," Izaya sang, jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk, "I love everyone so much~ love, URK!"
The force of Thor's Hammer smashed into Izaya from behind, as he was sent flying into a concrete wall. In other words, a vending machine hit him. Quickly covering up his grimaces of pain, wobbled and pushed himself onto his feet. He looked up to find a Shizuo Heiwajima ripping a stop sign out of the concrete block it was sealed in, smirking darkly. A crowd started forming around them out of curiosity.
"IIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAA-KUUUUUUN," He growled, not looking up from the ground, "How funny... I thought I told you to STAY OUT OF IKEBUKURO! RIGHT, IZAAAAYAAAA?!"
"W-what're you doing?" Izaya asked, playing the innocent confused girl, "Who's Izaya?"
"DON'T KID WITH ME YOU-" Shizuo looked up and his jaw dropped at the sight. Izaya would've quickly taken a picture if his phone hadn't been crushed under his butt, "W-W-W-WHAT'RE YOU WEARING?!"
"I don't get you geez!" Izaya cried, not at all faking the pain in his bruised shoulder, "Anyone, h-help me please..."
A intense silence took over Shizuo, as the crowd murmured disapprovingly at the bartender for bullying the cute weak girl who was now on the edge of tears.
"U-um, you are Izaya... aren't you?" Shizuo asked weakly, dropping the all but too menacing stop sign on the ground with a clang.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Izaya whimpered, tears streaking down his face as he dropped onto his knees and shook as if in terror, "I'm sorry I'm so sorry, I... *sob* I don't know *hic*!"
Izaya went into an all out bawl, and gradually the crowd started to boo Shizuo and a few stood up to defend her.
"You should feel ashamed!" Some random person shouted.
"Wow, you actually made a girl cry?"
"BOOOOO!"
Izaya almost felt like bawling for real. In laughter. Shizuo was being convicted like the monster he was, and his absolutely helpless look only served to make the situation funnier. He wanted to record this moment and keep it in his heart forever, the image of Shizu-chan being cornered by the humans he so desperately searched to find approval and security in. How funny! Izaya trembled in the hilarity of the situation. THAT'S WHY HUMANS ARE SO-
"SHAAAADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"
The sound of Shizuo's voice echoed around the square, and silenced the crowd due to the total surprise of the outbreak.
"Move out of the way," Shizuo growled menacingly, and pushed the few people standing in front of girl away, "Get outta here."
Before anyone could protest, he knelt down in front of Izaya, who had his face covered with his hands, and hesitantly made as if he was to pet her. At the last moment he pulled back due to the fear of breaking the delicate looking girl in front of him. Looking down, as if completely ashamed, he murmured, "I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else..." With his face covered, Izaya raised his eyebrows. He was shocked. Did that monster really just apologize to him? With that, the bartender walked away with the saddest expression on his face.
Izaya slowly moved to stand up, stumbling at bit to get the blood back into his legs and a couple of people came up to him asking if he was alright. He nodded quietly, and whispered a 'thank you' to them, before he started heading back to the apartment. He only managed to get as far as the alleyways before he couldn't help it. Izaya burst into laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS THE BEST SHIZU-CHAN! HAAHHAHAHAHAAAA!" Izaya screamed, and had to use the wall as support, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, HAHAH OH GOD MY SIDES THEY'RE KILLING ME HAHAHAHA MAKE IT STOP HAHAHAHHAHA!"
It was ages before he managed to calm down, and by then he was completely seated on the ground, leaning against the brick wall and staring into the dark night's sky. Shizu-chan had just apologized to him, like a human. That monster. Did such a human act. To him of all people. It was almost incomprehensible, but it was totally a great laugh. Izaya had to force himself to stop thinking about it before he exploded again. Slowly standing up, he skipped frivolously back to the apartment, thinking about everything his precious humans had done for him today.
"TODAY WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY HAHAHA!" Izaya shouted up to the sky, laughing happily, "HUMANS ARE SO INTERESTING!"
That's why he loved them so much right?