Ch 4 Emily Sux aka A New Dictation

A/N: Amethyst here. I'm taking over this fic (seriously Em, you need to think for a new password)! Em's a jerk. Get this: her boyfriend called me fat, and instead of breaking up with him, or hitting him, (it's ok for a girl to hit a boy cause most girls are weaker, nyway) she acquiessed!. Things are going to be divergent round hear. For one, I won't just say my best friend corrected it and then only fixing a couple things. Oh and Ea's not a Gary-Stu 'cause he'd need to be prefect and Ea has one glaring flow: he's the dimmest candle on the menorah. Just. Like. Emily.

Jacob rules! Edward SUX! (tee hee)

PS I like the letter G

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O glorious day! Ea fantasized about this proceeding for months. It finally happenstance. Prefect little Edward cheated on Bella! With a man! Turns out he's gay! That's why he's so regulating and perjury! He was going underground in his duplicate life. There's nothing wrong with being heterosexual, usually, just so long as you're not also clinging to a straight paramour and go misrepresenting about it.

Bella came to Ea bleating over his grotesque, graceless indemnity. I should be gladdened and chorusing by this news he pondered. But I'm not. I guess I glossed offer Bella's grief in my revere. And he did because he's a selfish, creepy brassard. So here he had it, his perfect day ruined by his greasy slimeball-ness.

Anyway, yeah, so Edward really does suck! (you know what I'm talking around). It was a great and terrible scene to be seen when Renesmee of all people walked in on her dad naked, in bed with an other man. She up-chucked all over them. It was exponentially gross.

Ea kissed Bella passionately. She threw up and a ghost came out of her mouth. "You're disgusting and I hate you and I never wanna see you a gain," she told 'im.

Ea looked dumb floundered. He walked out the window of a 99-story window and fell till he was dead. Then Bella married Jacob and she and Renesmee and her new wife lived happily ever after.

Bella woke up singly in her empty bed because Edward had to sleep on the coach, from the happiest dream she had had since finding out about her husband cheating. Already, it was fading through her gaze. She could barely remember anything, Only that Ea committed homicide and she married Jacob. That would be simpatico. At least I don't have that problem she thought, Ea doesn't rely love me. Thank G-d).

Upcoming that day, she was at Ea's apartment grueling to find some soothe. "I don't even get how this could happen!" she growled to Ea.

Be four she couldn't finish her theory, Ea spoke up "Oh that's easy, guys do it in the butt."

Bella looked at him like derision. "I know that! I mean, how could he have cheated on me! He said he loved me! I was so definite he did! I mean- ugh" she led out an imitated gravel.

"Well it's obvious he didn't. He lied. But he can be very conniving sew don't go blaming thyself for getting trapped for it." As Bella was balling on his shoulder, Ea kissed the top of her head. Too bad for Ea, he wasn't gonna get the girl that gadabout. "What did you just do?" she grilled him, looking eyes with him occupationally.

"Uh…" Ea was at a loss for words because his tiny brain couldn't comp rend why she asked. His "goddess" must be smart enough to know what a kiss is. He also flailed to grasp that she wasn't way too much passionate for him like he thought he was with her, when he really just thought she was hot. Instead he kissed her on the lips because that's all ways a god move when a person sounds galled. Her jaw drooped and she baked away. Then she tossed her cookies momentarily in her mouth.

With a hornet-struck lock on her face she asked him "Why would you ever kiss me, you existential flake of earth?! You didn't think I licked you, did you?" She glared at him geovially.

"But, but, but, I love thou!" he tolled her.

"What? How long has this been going on?" she asked.

"I have always loved thou since I first saw thy boobs," Ea ejaculated before thinking about his word choice of words. "It was only a matter of thyme before thou realized what a jerk-off Edward is!" She said nothing. "Thou, my love, are why I started tacking swimming. Why I became human!"

Bella feinted. When she arose, Jacob stood over her with a look of enterprise on his face. He had broken into Ea's house because Ea ran fugitive when she fell over imaging he killed her and he didn't want to go to jail. "You'll be okay, Isabella. I can take car of you now. The blockhead is gone." Bella glowered at this and fell into a happy sleep.

A/N: Spelling's better, huh? I know, because I'm smarter than Emily and I can use spell check.