Chapter 4
BELLA'S A NINJA!/ SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
EPV:
I stayed close as Ian carried Bella to her room. The door closed; I perched just above the window outside. The flicker of a dying neon light reflected on the window pane. I heard the rustle of sheets as he laid her on the bed. The pour of the shower water assaulted my ears as I imagine the worst, but then recognized the steady rhythm of Bella's heart and soft breathing. I realized she was still passed out, and he was alone.
I heard her whisper, "Edward…my Edward." I was by her side instantaneously. My feet glided over the Berber carpet and the gossamer curtains rustled softly as blurred to her side. I lay my head next to hers on the pillow and closed my eyes. She moaned, "Please don't go. Don't leave me. Why did you leave me?"
I wanted to embrace her; I leaned closer and whispered, "I'm here, my love."
She whimpered in response, "No, no, you left me alone."
Before I could respond that I was so sorry, the shower stopped. I heard Ian step out and grab a towel. I sped to the closet. I expected him to lie down in the other bed in the room, but he walked past it to kneel before Bella. What the hell was he doing?
He whispered, "Izzy? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
Bella moaned, "Don't leave me."
Ian's thoughts raced with excitement as she requested him to stay, but I knew different.
Bella rolled over flinging her arms above her head still asleep. The disappointment radiated through his mind. I smirked, but it quickly fell from my face when I heard Bella cry in her sleep.
"I'm here Izzy. I'm here," he slide next to her in the bed and drew her into his arms to comfort her. "I'm always here, Izzy."
The closet was so small that it was the only thing holding me up from the crushing pain I felt. I couldn't go to her nor comfort her. He had the advantage there and it pierced me to the core.
My eyes flashed up when she said, "I love you, Edward." The projector flashed to the first night I heard her say my name in her sleep. She rooted me to her with that one phrase and sealed herself in my heart for eternity. Tonight was no different. I vowed to stay with her whether she wanted me or not.
Ian's mind cursed Bella and me to hell. He blamed Jacob for all his pain from the past and me for broken Bella in his arms. He blamed Bella for not letting go. He thought back to all his previous nights with Bella. Images of her crying in her sleep for Jacob and me flashed through his mind. At some point the images involving Jacob ended, which gave him hope, but my images never ceased.
I pitied his feeble attempt to overshadow our eternal love. I was angry at his vicious thoughts towards Bella. I could tell it was not true love he felt, but the wish for his pain to end. She was his sunshine and Nadia was his eternity. I heard him sigh as he slowly drifted asleep.
I kissed her gently on her forehead before I left. My phone vibrated in my back pocket.
BPV
Goosebumps spread across my shoulders as I felt a warm hand slide up the back of my shirt. Still not completely awake and floating in the dream I was having I groaned, "Edward."
"Dammit, Izz. Wake up; it's twelve in the afternoon. I'm starving," Ian snapped.
The pounding in my head synchronized with the dry heaves that had suddenly overwhelmed my need for sleep. I sighed relinquishing the tentative hold on the fantasy that was slowly slipping away. He is not here. He is never coming back.
Face reality, Izzy. He probably doesn't even remember who you are. I sighed to myself.
I was just a blip in the timeline of his eternal life. I was nothing but a novelty.
I stretched, curling my toes, and arched my back as I saw the hopeful eyes beside me. Ian's hand reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. My head pounded with conviction, and I wasn't able to think straight. Our eyes met for a second. I pushed the covers off my body and silently thanked God that I was still clothed. My head fell heavily forward as I rose too quickly from the bed.
"Ugh, I need some Aleve, water, and a hot shower," I groaned. I paused at the unfamiliar surroundings. The fog in my head was too thick to see through. A jumbled mesh of images attempted to push through the haze, but could not prevail against the taint of alcohol in my system.
"Here's two Aleve, Izz, and your water bottle is waiting for you in the bathroom," Ian informed me as a slow smile spread across his face.
"Thanks," I mumbled as I gathered my toiletry bag, and started my morning routine. I tried to remember how often my mornings had begun this way. I grimaced at the reality of my life. Too many times, I decided. I honestly didn't believe I was a drunk, but I could see the potential there. I scanned through the last year of my life as the scalding water sanitized me and the memories seared into my mind. I was not proud, and I was not making excuses, but my life was pretty fucked up. Most people would have trouble surviving the ridiculous number of tragedies that my life had encompassed. At least I was alive. I believed though that it was time for me to attempt to heal. I couldn't just put everything away locked in a closet in my mind. I needed to sift through everything, learn to deal, and discard the items that were holding me back from life, then maybe I could consider what Ian was going to say last night, and I couldn't forget what he said in my dreams. Unfortunately, I knew I would never forget him.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door open. "Izz, about last night…," Ian whispered. His voice was so low that I could barely hear him. "I know you still miss him, but honestly Izz it's been years. I lo…."
I interrupted before he could say something he couldn't take back, and that I couldn't ignore, "Ian please don't. I'm not ready for that. I'm so fucked up. I know you went through a lot too, but I'm not where you are right now. Before I can even think of anything more, I need to figure out how to deal with all this shit and figure out myself. I don't like who I am right now, Ian. I don't like that I deal with shit by drinking, and I don't like what we have become," I confessed. I turned the water off and wrung out my hair, hypnotized by the sound of the drops splattering down against the hotel shower tile. I pulled the screen aside, he handed me a towel. I didn't hesitate to take it from his patient hands. My mind shuddered with the fact that I didn't blush. Gah! How my life had changed.
"Are you saying that you regret what we do? I don't, Izz. Maybe at first there was something wrong with it, but all that has changed. How I feel has changed," Ian spluttered reaching out and grabbing my shoulders in his rough hands.
I could hear the panic and hurt in his voice and responded, "You are my best friend, and I don't like the way that I treat you. I don't like the way you treat me. We both deserve better." Ian began to interject, and I stopped him, pressing my open palm against his bare chest. "This…," I waved my hand up and down in front of my body, "is not right. I should not be comfortable being naked in front of a friend. That is not how I wanted my life to be before or now. I want to only be like this with someone I love. I love you, Ian. You and Nick are the closest people I have to family, but I can't even consider anything more until I straighten my ass out. I want to be whole. I want to be good, Ian." Tears fell slowly with my confessions. We had never really talked about us before; we just pretended that we were only friends, and whatever happened that crossed those boundaries was no big deal. It was and always would be a very big deal.
"You can't tell me that you can't feel how this has changed. How we have changed," Ian pressed his hand over mine, forcing my palm over his heart.
The rhythmic pounding relaxed me and allowed me to focus; he was who I should want, someone like me, someone with a beating heart. I hung my head and sighed, "I have Ian, but I'm not in love you. I honestly don't think that I am capable of that right now." I raised my face and met his eyes. The intensity in his overwhelmed me and I dropped mine once again.
"You do love someone Izz. It's just not me." The pain in his voice pulsed and attempted to defibrillate my heart.
"I'm sorry. I truly am." Shame stained my face red.
He dropped my hand, and lifted my chin. For a second I feared that he was going to kiss me. "Izz, it's ok. I knew we'd get to this point eventually. I just hoped that you would be here with me. Friends is ok, for now." He kissed me on the forehead and stepped aside so I could leave the bathroom.
I smiled at him as I walked by and yelped as he smacked the fuck out of my ass! "Satan's whore fucker! I'm going to kill you!" I screeched eyes blazing.
Ian had already sped passed me while I was busy swearing. "You didn't think I could pass up swatting that sweet ass did you?" He jeered.
I reined in my anger and turned bending at my waist over my bags. "What did you say about a sweet ass?" I purred while wiggling my butt a little. He took two huge leaps towards me and I twirled around and held up my hands in surrender calling, "Truce! Truce!"
"Ok, I'll give you a truce this time, but next time your mine," He declared with an evil Mwahaha attached to the end, while wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
"Thanks, I'll be on my guard," I laughed. "Now get the fuck out of here so I can get changed for…," I paused looking at the clock, "lunch." As Ian closed the door behind him, I sighed sinking to the ridiculously plush bed and chose to pretend that I didn't see the hope hiding in his eyes.
EPV:
As I left the hotel room to go back to Johnny's club, my mind reeled with confusion, fear, and emotion. She was so beautiful. She was so hurt too. How could I make her see that I left her for a good reason, the best reason? What did this Ian have over her that made her forget me enough to sleep with him? I could understand the reason she was with the dog even though I don't like it; but, this connection to Ian seemed to be the one thing that might make our reunion difficult for me. She may not feel love for him now but there was no guarantee that what Alice saw would come to fruition. "Aargh! This is so confusing," I groaned yanking on my hair with a force that would leave a mortal bald. I needed to do the right thing but I really didn't know what that was. A being who had lived for almost a century gains confidence in his ability to do what was right. I thought I had that characteristic mastered until Bella; with her, the only thing I knew was that I loved her. What I did not know was whether that love was healthy or not.
"I'd say 'penny for your thoughts' but I think I'd have to give all of my fortune and then some," said Johnny with a half smile.
For a vampire I was embarrassingly unobservant. I popped my head up, mortified at my lack of manners. "Yeah, I wish my thoughts were that trivial," I decided to rebut. "I just left her hotel room; Ian was there with her."
"Do I need to do a cleanup on aisle 3?" Johnny grinned.
"No, no, of course not," I said guardedly. "He really does care about her, you know. I can't take that away from him. Actually, scratch that, I really wish I could."
"You're torn about whether to invade into her life or not," Johnny stated instead of questioned me.
"Yes. I saw the hurt in her eyes. I heard it in her voice. If I died after ten more centuries, I could never erase that from my memory. She is an essential part of my life but I feel like I am a cancer to her. I grow, spread, leave a path of destruction; then I pretend to disappear as though I am finished only to return more fierce and dangerous than before," I moaned, as I hunched into his lush chaise.
"I admit, Edward, that you have truly mangled a possibly beautiful thing with Bella. I know she is in pain because of you but I believe that she still loves you," he said earnestly. "Love is a very strange creature especially for our kind. We don't have the luxury of getting over someone. When we love it's forever. You will never be able to love another the way you love Bella. You could possibly coexist but never love. So, I have to ask you, Edward, which is worse?"
"What do you mean which is worse?" I asked bewildered.
"Is it worse to love her and deal with what it takes to fix your mistakes? Or to live the rest of eternity knowing that any relationship you have will be less than mediocre because you didn't stay and fight for what you wanted?" He questioned.
"I don't know, Johnny. I really don't know. Should I continue to hurt her when she is convinced that I never wanted her? Should I let her heal then come back later to try again? Or do I leave it all alone and suffer silently while she heals and lives a human's life?" I know I'd struggle with those questions no matter what the outcome because… A fire burst in my mind. Flames engulfed my senses with fear and understanding. "That's it!" I gasped.
"What?" Johnny asks straightening in his seat. "What is it, Edward?" He says again eyes wide because I didn't reply immediately.
The answer flooded my brain like a tsunami rushing the shores of an unsuspecting island. My stomach would have felt nauseous if that were possible. As I processed the information that came to me I realized that if I would have done this before neither Bella nor I would have suffered at all. I needed to let her make the decision. I needed to feel confident that she knew what was best for her and hope that she would want to be with me. Of course, if she decided to be without me then I would always wait hoping that she'd one day want me again. Even as I realized this, the projector's credits ran as a confirmation of my epiphany.
I hung my head as I whispered the words to Johnny, "I must let her make the decision." Pure fear raced through my empty veins because I did not know what the outcome would be. I knew what I wanted it to be, but would my hope, longing, and desire be enough?
"That's a wise statement, Edward, but are you sure you can handle the answer?" He questioned.
"No, Johnny, I am not sure that I can handle the answer but I must finally give her what I never have before, a choice. I think not giving her a choice was the pinnacle mistake I made. She probably thinks that I could not possibly love her because I never considered her feelings or ability to make the right decision for her," I gasped. Tiny rips in my chest begin to surface. "I must go now, Johnny, but please be a good friend to her. You do not have to speak on my behalf just let her decide. I ask this of you, my friend, my brother," I implored.
"Absolutely," Johnny simply stated.
"I will not be here when she arrives, I need to discuss some things with Carlisle," I admitted. Even though he didn't know that I slept with a member of his family I must make amends to Tanya before it ruined both families.
"No problem, I'll see you later on?" It was definitely a question. I hoped I would be able to see him before I left tonight.
I believed Carlisle would request that I remain at home for a while until he could fix the mistake I made with Tanya. Tanya, who was truly in love with me, who would do anything to make me happy, who was much more compatible with me because she was not fragile, she was family, but I was not in love with her. I stupidly used her to relieve my anger when I learned about Bella and Jacob Black. Johnny interrupted my reverie.
"Are you really alright? What is it?" He asked befuddled. "Don't worry about Bella, she'll come around."
I did not respond to his questions. I perched on the windowsill looking out toward Sunset Boulevard. He left me to think. Hours passed until her scent wafted through the breeze assaulting my senses. Her scent was tainted with the combined scents of Ian and Nick, I didn't like it. Her scent was like fresh air to me.
BPV
8pm that night.
The day passed without any awkwardness. The only noticeable difference was that Ian and I were a little nicer to each other. We still joked, I punched him a few times when I noticed him staring at my ass or boobs while we worked out, but everything was normal.
I could get used to that.
After our workout, we went back to our hotel rooms to get ready for the show. Ian and I usually shared a room even though Nick's was a double also. That started when Ian and I began to spend nights together.
As we approach the hallway our rooms were on, I could feel tension for the first time between us. I wondered if we should stop sharing a room. I wanted to be with my friend, but I realized that even though Ian was behaving himself, sharing a room would be a bit much. I couldn't go back to changing in front of him. It would be too awkward. Before I could say anything, Ian took out his key and unlocked my door. As he pushed it open he looked down into my eyes…sad. He hugged me and sighed, "See you in a few for the show."
He turned to walk away, and the Imp of Inappropriate Behavior possessed me. I reared back and smacked the hell out of his ass. "Fuck!" I moaned cradling my hand. I forgot that I hurt it punching that douche the other night.
Ian's snickering interrupted my whining, "Ha! Serves you right. No one can handle my rock hard ass. Love it, baby!"
"Don't call me Baby you douche. Kicking your ass while we were sparing earlier didn't seem to be a problem," I boasted.
"Yeah well, you've been kickboxing for three years. I just picked it up on tour to help you train. So, shut the fuck up and get cleaned up, Izz You have a definite funk lingering around you."
"The only thing that lingers around me is you! Ha!" I retorted while I pointed, laugh, and danced a little jig around him.
"Laugh it up funny girl, but now I owe you one!" He growled.
"No! Hey, we're even," I complained. I could still feel the sting from the first swat. I gave him my pouty lip, but who the hell was I kidding? That shit never worked on Ian.
"No bueno, Izz. You know that shit only works on unsuspecting bartenders and probably everyone else in the world, but not me. I won't get you back now, but I owe you one. I'll get you when you're least expecting it! See you for the show in an hour," he promised.
Fuck, that was not good, but hey at least I defused an awkward situation. My butt was just going to have to pay for it later.
9pm The Viper Room.
I busted into the back door of the bar dancing and singing Dancin'on My Grave by Ghostland Observatory at the top of my lungs. I spun in a circle attempting to take in my surroundings. The place was so different without the crowds. The air was still fresh and untainted by smoke and sweat. There was something beautiful about an empty stage waiting for me and my music. Gregory smiled and waved me over.
"Izzy, nice to see you this evening," he announced politely.
"Same here. Don't you look handsome tonight," I declared yanking lightly on his black silk tie and batting my eyelashes. Gregory seemed so uptight that I just couldn't help myself.
"Why thank you. Mr. Depp would like to speak with you before you set up. Shall I walk you there now?" He informed me. He smiled a little wider at me, and it seemed more genuine than last night. Huh? Maybe the compliment was a good idea.
"Yes, thank you Gregory. Shall we go?" I took his arm as we crossed the bar and headed to the stairs that led to the VIP room in the back.
Johnny was standing in the doorway when we reached the top. "Thank you, Gregory. Could you send up a few beers? I believe Izzy prefers New Castle; I will have a Guinness." Johnny smiled at me as he ordered.
"Um thanks, Johnny, but I'm not going to be drinking before the show tonight," I interjected.
Johnny quirked up an eyebrow at me, and amended his order, "Make that a Guinness for me and…," he left the offer open-ended.
"Hot tea," I filled in.
"A hot Passion Tazo tea for Izzy," he finished.
"That's my favorite! What a coincidence," I exclaimed as I took a seat in the middle of one of the plush, low-lying couches.
"Yes, well it seems fitting somehow," Johnny flirted as he unashamedly looked me over. Once again, the blush infected me. What in the hell was wrong with me? I didn't blush for years and now I couldn't stop it when I was around him. Maybe he had some secret power that made chicks blush. I giggled at the thought.
"Well, you seem in a good mood today, dressed much more casual, and sober," he commented. Before I could become pissed by the "sober" comment, he continued, "I must say, you look lovely, natural, more like I pictured you."
It was my turn to make him a little uncomfortable. "Thank you. Did you spend a lot of your time picturing me?"
His laugh was like music. He threw his head back and his eyes sparkled. "Actually, yes. You have intrigued me ever since Edward spoke to me about you. You are far more aggressive than I would have thought, but I based my information on what he told me. I have to say, you do not disappoint," he said matter-of-factly. Once again, my face flushed pink.
"So, why won't you have a drink with me?" He questioned.
"I've come to some major conclusions concerning my way of life for the last year," I quiped, using my lecture voice.
Johnny raised an eyebrow and gestured for me to continue.
With an attempt at a straight face I proceeded. "I drink way too much, which leads to some pretty ho-ish behavior. Now I don't have a problem with hoes, everyone needs to let loose now and then, who doesn't like getting laid?" My attempt at keeping a straight face failed and a giggle slipped out. Johnny was frowning, but lightened when he saw me smile. "In all seriousness I wasn't that bad, I was trying to escape and in reality I was only tinting my heart and shading the pain. I never escaped. I simply hid behind sex and booze, which worked for a while, but eventually I had to sober up. I couldn't drink enough to make me forget. No matter how hard I tried."
"Of course you decide this now when I don't get my chance," he smirked. I grinned mischievously at him. "All jokes aside, I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think that what Edward and you had can ever be forgotten. It's a dream that can be true again. I spoke…"
I interrupted him immediately before he could continue. I couldn't heal if the wound was continuously aggravated and opened. "Johnny, don't. I have no interest in him or any of your ludicrous theories about us getting back together. I don't want him and he never wanted me."
EPV
My heart warmed when Bella walked in singing and laughing. She was in a good mood, better today. She truly seemed happier. My fears from that morning crept in to tell me that it had nothing to do with me so much as it had to do with Ian. That would not be good. I reminded myself that that was what I wanted for her. She could choose anything she wanted as long as she was happy.
The conversation between Bella and Johnny flowed freely. I was proud that she decided to straighten her life out and not continue to destroy the beautiful person she truly was. I flinched chagrinned when Johnny asked her about me. I really didn't want him to bring me up to her; her mood seemed to instantly change at the prompting of that subject.
A stake was pushed through my heart destroying my existence in a moment as I heard her words, "I have no interest in him…I don't want him…He never wanted me."
I choked a gasp of pain and heaved myself off the ledge. I must escape. I decided I would give her a choice; she made her choice. I must run… I have to get out of here. My phone rang, damn Alice. She had meddled enough I couldn't take anymore. I ignored the call and turned my phone on silent.
BPV
The shock on Johnny's face was evident. He turned to the window and sighed. He smoothed his face when he saw me observing him. "Are you honestly telling me that you have no feelings for Edward anymore?" Johnny scoffed. The intensity in his eyes forced me to tell the truth.
"Honestly? I plead the fifth." I paused, preparing for the onslaught of pain that was sure to erupt. "What do you want me to say? If I were over Him, I wouldn't be so fucked up. Charlie, my father, told me, 'the only way to heal a broken heart is to remove yourself completely from the past. Cut all ties. Accept it and move on.' He told me that life would be as though he never existed. It could have been, but I held on and allowed myself to slowly decay from the inside out. Even though I feel like it, I don't want to die. So that's what I'm doing, I'm going to try to live as if he was never a part of my life. I don't want to be the Bella I used to be nor the Izzy I am now. I want a happy median where I can be myself and possibly one day find out who I truly am."
It seemed as though a hint of pain flashed across Johnny's face. He sighed and gently took my hand in his. "Bella, I know that we don't know each other very well and I know that it's not my place, but it's been my experience that what you're saying could work… if both parties were human; however, Edward and you touched a part of each other that no other human has ever reached. When we find our mate, we are forever changed, and I believe that that applied to you also because Edward is a vampire. It's the only way to explain the magnitude of suffering you've had to endure. I'm not belittling the love that humans are capable of. I know that when humans have been mated for years sometime the other is incapable of living without it's partner, but you and Edward were only together for a short time. Once we meet our mate, time does not matter. I'm not going to speak for Edward but, I'm just telling you the truth of our kind."
My head was reeling. The gravity of his words took a moment to sink in. I didn't want to deal with that, think about that, or accept it. If Johnny was trying to insinuate, no declare, that I was his mate, then he was sorely mistaken. Based on what I learned from them, it was impossible for a vampire to leave his mate and survive. Triumphant I retaliated, "If you're so savvy about your kind then he should not have been able to leave his mate and survive."
Johnny tightened his grip on my hand to the point that it hurt. He lowered his head in anguish. "Precisely," his voice quivered. It seemed almost as if he was the one in pain.
I wrenched my hand from his. He was not suffering. He didn't care. I choked out, "No, I'm not going to allow you to do this to me. I want my life back. I want to be me. Yes, I want him, but I pray that in a while… I won't any longer." My resolve solidified. I refused to look away from the hurt in his eyes. "I don't know what he has told you, but it could not have been the truth. I was never his mate. I was a pet, a plaything, an excuse to be obsessive and in control. That's not love." I sighed and composed myself. "It's time for the show, Johnny, and I think… it's time for a beer."
As our eyes met, I slipped him a half-assed smile and he kissed my hand. "It's not your fault he didn't inform you, but you really don't know about us like you think you do. I've told you the truth, whether you want to accept it or not. I've said my peace and I'm done. Have a good show and know that if you ever need anything, anytime, I'm here," he said.
I couldn't let things end that way between me and Johnny. I smirked with an idea. "So, when I get home and tell everyone that I met Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm condemned as a liar, you better show up and look all sexy on my arm, so they'll eat shit and die," I laughed.
"To be on your arm or simply just be on you, anytime," he winked and cracked a toothy grin.
12am End of Show.
EPV
I pulled my phone out to call Carlisle to tell him I was coming home when I saw 100 missed calls from Alice, Emmett, Jasper, everyone. I immediately paniced wondering what happened. I dialed Alice in one swift motion. "Alice."
A barrage of words flowed from her lips too fast for even my vampire hearing. "Wait, Alice, slow down. What did you say?" The next words I heard sent my brain into a death spiral.
"Bella! She's in an alley, I don't know where she is but she's going to be attacked within the next half hour. Hurry Edward!" She sobbed.
I was on my feet before she could finish the sentence, racing back to help Bella.
BPV
We were about to end the show with my favorite "I'm pissed off and angsty" song, I'm Tired by Savoy Brown. There were two fucks that had been standing in front of my keyboard for over half the show and still wouldn't shut the fuck up. I could only take the, "Screw the stool, and come and sit on this" type of comment for so long. I had tried to be cool about it, but I was about to explode or Ian was going to get in a fight.
One of the Jack-offs leaned over the stage and grabbed my thigh under my keyboards as Ian announced our next song. I jumped and screamed in surprise. Before Ian or I could react Gregory was standing by my side and a behemoth of a bouncer grabbed the two assholes by the throat and carried them by said throats out the bar.
The crowd cheered, Gregory bowed, and I pulled Gregory down to me by the collar and kiss him loudly with a smack on the cheek. "Thanks sweet cheeks," I purred to him over the microphone. The girls in the crowd squealed and the guys hollered.
I heard some dude in the crowd yell, "I called those guys assholes earlier; do I get a kiss?"
Gregory had already disappeared from the stage by the time I replied, "Sorry sweetheart but I only give one a night, and my knight-in-shining armor got tonight's. Now…." I glanced at Nick.
Nick counted off, "One, two, one, two, three, four…."
The set ended a few minutes later, and I retreated to the dressing room. Nick was wasted and Ian was… well, Ian was touchy, sweet and friendly touchy, but touchy non-the-less. I removed his hand from my thigh and stood causing his arm to fall from my shoulder. I was sure that if I were drunk there would have been a good chance that he and I would have hooked up, but I was not, and I needed some air.
"Izz, where ya' going?" Ian questioned, his eyes swimming with Jack and Coke.
"Yeah, Izz, you're way too sober to be walking around," Nick cracked. "Let's get bombed and go swimming!"
His puppy dog eyes almost got me, but I didn't relent, "I need some air, man." Nick and Ian then hit me with twin sad eyes and I folded. Ian had never unleashed that power before! "Ugh! Fine. I'll be back in five and I'll break into the hotel pool and go swimming with you guys…sober."
"We don't have to break in!" Nick exclaimed. "Johnny gave me a key last night! Tada!" He flourished the key like a cheesy magician.
"Alright, just wait a few, but not too many skanks, pleeeease!" I whined.
"No problem!" they both announced simultaneously, bobbing their heads up and down like five year olds.
I chuckled as the back door to the bar shut behind me. My high from the show was winding down and I breathed deeply attempting to relax. There was just too much on my mind. I pulled a Pixy Stick out of my pocket and inhale it quickly. There was nothing like fucking Pixy Sticks!
"Huh, Huh, Huh! Chris, look who it is," A deep voice drifted from the shadows.
"Hhm, looks like our girl from the band earlier," who must have been Chris stated.
"She had some friends in our way inside, but I don't see anyone out here." The unknown voice declared. I labeled him Shorty.
I had to admit that at that moment I was a little frightened, but only for a second.
The two assholes who were kicked out earlier stepped into the neon light. I straightened up from leaning on the wall and assessed the two. One was medium build and the other was my height and skinny. It could have been worse. By the shuffle in their steps, I could see they were drunk. Good, that helped. "Sweetheart, don't worry; we won't hurt you …much," Chris the taller one, chuckled.
My best asset was always surprise. I was forever underestimated. "I think you have that wrong, sweetheart," I sneered. "If you touch me, you're going to hurt a great deal." I saw the door out of my peripheral vision. I backed up to it refusing to let the two out of my sight. I pulled on the door, but it was locked. I forgot to wedge something under the door to keep it propped open. I rose up on the balls of my feet, distributing my weight evenly, and thank God that I was not in heels.
"Uh oh! Nowhere to run, angel. I recommend that you just stay still and enjoy the fun," Chris leered. I raised my fists in a defensive stance and Shorty snorted.
"What? You gonna fight us, Angel? Please do. I love to wrestle. I promise it won't be gentle." Shorty lunged at me. I hopped to the side and elbowed him in the back as he stumbled past. His head slammed into the door with a loud thump. "Fuck!" He grunted as he rubbed his head.
"Bitch, you just fucked up. I was just gonna have a little fun with you and leave, but now I'm gonna fuck you up till you can't walk, Angel," Chris rumbled. He swerved a little to the left losing his balance as he approached.
"What? You two are going to fuck with me?" I laughed. "Really? You couldn't Fuck if some whore gave it to you, you flaccid bitch." Shorty roared and sprang from behind me. I swept my leg low undercutting him and he landed sprawled out at my feet. I stomped and ground my foot down on his junk, and grinned as he screamed. I turned and faced Chris as Shorty gagged and threw up.
"So, what, you take some self defense classes, Angel? I love a good fight." Chris stalked closer. He was smiling from ear to ear, and I realized he was not as drunk as I thought. Fuck!
"I can't wait to feel you squirming under me, Angel."
Ok, that was fucking it. Fuck scared; I was seeing red. I charged. He rose from his crouch surprised as hell. I Roundhouse kicked him in the face and he flew back into the dumpster. He jumped to his feet and grabbed me, twisting my arms until he had me locked with my back flush against him. He ground into my ass. I snapped; curses flew from my mouth as I lost control. "Mother-fucking, cock-sucking, pussy, bastard, motherfucker…" I screeched as I flung my head back into his nose. The crunch rang triumphantly in my ears. I slammed my ass back hard into his shit. He grunted and let his hold slip. I slid out of his arms and turned swinging. I connected with his already bloody nose.
He screamed, "You fucking whore! I'll fucking kill you!" Before he could rub the tears and blood from his eyes, I rotated sideways and landed a Turning Kick to the side of his head.
"What did you say Mother Fucker? You were going to do what to me? Fuck you, you weak ass bitch!" I goaded him on. My adrenalin was steam rolling through my body effectively crushing my fear flat. I missed my chance and forget to run. Fuck running, I wanted to end that shit.
I glanced at Shorty on the concrete to my side. He was still rolling, clutching his shit, and moaning. I didn't have to worry about him getting up anytime soon.
Stumbling and cursing Chris lunged at me again. I heard the shatter of a window, and where the door to the bar was closed, I saw a bright light intrude on the area. A distant, "Fuck! Help her!" assaulted my ears, as Chris swiped a glancing blow to my cheek. I let it slide off and jabbed him in the eye with my right. I heard a struggle to my left, but pushed it to the back of my mind so I could concentrate on the task at hand. His eyes started to glaze and before he could draw his hands once again to his face, I grunted, "Go down…," as I grabbed the back of his head with both my hands and landed a Knee Strike to his face yelling, "and stay the fuck down." I spit on his unconscious figure and turned in the direction of the commotion from a second ago.
EPV
As I reach the alley behind the club I hear someone screaming but it was not…Bella. It was a male's voice.
I rounded the corner, I saw Bella grab a human male by the head and smash his face into her knee. I ground to a stop; did she just spit on him? I leaned back and absorbed the entire scene. Johnny was crouched ready for attack, Gregory and the bouncer were taking care of another human male. The onslaught of images of Bella's ferocious fighting was flashing with awe in Johnny's mind. I was awestruck also. I heard him think, "She's okay."
I began to turn to leave as his voice shouted in my head, "Stay, you ass! She told me she loves you. Stay and talk to her."
A maniacal laugh bellowed from Bella and I turned back around to face my past, present, and the possibility of a future.
I locked eyes with Johnny and nodded my assent to stay.
BPV
The bouncer from earlier was restraining Shorty, who was whimpering and still trying to sooth his crushed nuts, Johnny was crouched on the edge of the dumpster eyes black as night with his jaw hanging open, and Gregory was simply smiling leaned up against the now closed back door with his arms crossed on his chest. I bent over and burst out into gut wrenching, hysterical laughter. Tears began to stream down my cheeks and I attempted to get control of myself, I snorted loudly. "Sorry…can't…help…it…adrenalin…Fuck!" The cackling continued.
Johnny straightened quickly and raised his gaze to something behind me as he dropped from the dumpster. I sobered up instantly. My body went rigid. Johnny made eye contact with me and ordered, "Gregory, take care of these two. Quickly, before any patrons take notice." He didn't break our stare as he grabbed Chris from in front of my feet. He paused for a second and I saw a glimmer of something in his eyes…hope, maybe? He smiled and whispered, "If you should ever need me…." and disappeared into the alley.
I still had not moved. My jaw was throbbing just enough to distract me, but I refused to rub it. I heard someone behind me gently shuffle his or her feet back and forth. It sounded unnatural, contrived, like he or she was attempting to make their presence known.
I didn't need the help. I knew.
His scent had lingered in my waking and sleeping dreams for years.
I was not prepared for this.