Now at Mossad to start her day at work, she tried to avoid her father at all cost. She was distracted, lost in her own thoughts and, since she'd been crying a little in her car, her eyes could give her away. She would try to keep this a secret from him for as long as she could or until she could find a decent, logical and believable way to explain this to her father. But she kept coming up empty.
As the hours passed, her nausea-free morning started to change. She felt sick pretty much with anything she smelled: from the sweetest of things to the most disgusting ones. She felt like she was going to throw up every minute, even though she'd only had tea and nothing else. She felt dizzy if she stood up too fast, or too slow, she could be walking down the hall and feel the walls move around her, then she'd have to stop for a minute, take a deep breath and pretend nothing had happened. It was a nightmare, something she didn't think she deserved. But then she remembered all she'd done over the years and she'd say she deserved no less.
It was about two o'clock when Ziva decided to take a 15-minute "power nap" on the couch in her office. Her "power-nap" ended up lasting forty-five minutes, and it would've lasted more had her father not walked in.
"I don't pay you to sleep on the job, Ziva!" He was raising his voice, but Ziva was just waking up, so she didn't really notice.
"Actually, you don't really pay me that much. You say that because I'm your daughter, it's my duty to work for you" She wanted a raise. She needed a raise after the news she'd just gotten.
"Still, paycheck or no paycheck, you have the night to get some sleep. I don't want you to take naps while you work! Are we clear, Officer David?" Eli was angry now. He knew she wasn't taking this seriously.
"Yes, sir" There were not many things Ziva was afraid of. But her father definitely was one of them. Seeing him angry terrified her and she'd do anything to keep him from blowing off.
"You look tired" He was calm now. At least calm enough to notice she wasn't feeling well.
"Uhm… Yes. I did not get a good night sleep. Nightmares. You know how it is." She was lying through her teeth but it was better than telling the truth.
"Ok. Well, get a good night sleep tonight. If you have to take something, go ahead. I don't want to see you sleeping on your couch ever again." He really didn't care about her. About his own daughter. And the sad thing is, she knew at some point he had, but that'd changed.
"Yes, sir" There's that answer again. Like a robot, just as he had trained her. But she couldn't take anything, not for the next nine months, anyways. So she'd have to pretend. "Great!" She thought after Eli left, "one more thing to lie about".
That night, she got to her house and went to her kitchen to see if she got hungry. She hadn't had anything to eat all day and she knew she needed to eat something solid, not just tea and water. She looked in the fridge, but there was nothing that woke her appetite. She thought of making a sandwich, but the smell of ham made her sick and she figured she wouldn't be able to eat it. Finally, after looking in every nook and cranny of her kitchen, she found graham crackers and she decided to eat some mostly because it was probably the only thing that didn't make her nauseous.
After having a handful of crackers and a cup of hot tea, Ziva decided it was time to rest, since it had been long day and a rollercoaster of emotions. She drew herself a hot bath to relax and have time to think about the future, hers and her baby's. She remembered that when she was on her way to Tel Aviv, she found something in her jacket: Tony had slipped his phone number and email with a note that simply said, "if you ever need to talk, you know what to do. T". She'd kept it just in case and was wondering if now would be a good time to use it. But then again, she couldn't just call a guy she'd known for a less than two days and tell him she was pregnant with his child; after all, she hadn't talked to him in six weeks and had no idea what was going on in his life right now. Ziva was well aware that this could ruin his life, especially if she wasn't going to travel back to D.C to raise the baby with him.
"Things happen for a reason" she thought, while getting in bed for the night. She believed with every inch of her body, mind and soul that there was a reason behind everything that happened in anybody's life, so why would this be any different? "The things you experience in your life happen because you're supposed to learn something from them, whether it is to be strong, to fight, to keep moving on or to be open to start a new chapter in your life. You can't fight them. The only choice you have is to embrace them". This was one of the things her wise mother used to tell her and she wanted her son or daughter to remember this because one day it would help him or her overcome a bad experience and move on. It was her turn now, though, to figure out what to make of the "state" she was in and, without much effort, she fell asleep. Tomorrow would be a new day.