It took all his sense of duty to get up in the evening and take Thomas to Washington's house. A duty that was probably even given as a reward but today it felt like a court martial to Ben. Why had Caleb had to go? He really was in the need of a friend right now.

The child, on the other hand, had been rather calm after the general's visit what had only given Ben time and silence to brood over his own father's death. It had been months since he saw him last, years since he really talked to him, ate with him. Ben wearily rubbed his face. God, he missed him so much! Ben wished he could withdraw himself from the world like Thomas had done, brood and grieve, but it was out of question for a man and soldier, especially after being summand by the general, so he brushed Thomas hair, tried to straighten up his uniform knowing full well he wouldn't be good dinner company today but after all, he never really did speak much in the presence of the other officers who all outranked him and looked down on him like he was some kind of pet of Washington, so they probably wouldn't catch the difference. Why he had to drack Thomas with him though he didn't know.

"Where are we going?"

The simple sentence made Ben smile. At least one of them seemed to heal and he was glad it was the boy for he was the true victim of all this mess. Ben himself probably should simply volunteer on a mission into enemy territory and be done with. If only he would have done it sooner, then Abe would still be alive. "To General Washington." As Thomas only blinked he added quickly: "The nice man that came to us today."

"I like him", was the honest reply, that left Ben somehow speechless. He suddenly wished that all Tory raised boys would think like Thomas so this war would be over soon.

The walk with Thomas took longer than he had expected for the boy was slow and tried to run off several times when he saw something that caught his eye. In the end, Ben carried him the rest of the way so they wouldn't be too late. There was no reason to give more insult by being late than most officers would take by the mere presence of the boy.

The house was a beautiful mansion that looked out of place between all the tents that were gathering around it. Riches and wealth were evidently to everyone and Ben found himself trying to straighten his uniform once more in the presence of so much grandeur.

Billy, Washington's personal servant, welcomed them on the doorstep and waved him in with a smile. "They are waiting for you, Major."

Ben tried to return the smile but it wasn't really convincing, not even to him. Thomas on the other hand seemed quite taken by the house and Billy- probably because it reminded him of the home he used to have. Would it really have hurt the child to leave him with his Tory grandfather, Ben wondered. Sure, the man had gotten Abe killed but he loved his grandchild- and hopefully the war would be over before Thomas could ever enlist. Truth be told, Ben didn't know if the boy was better of here.

While they followed Billy to the dining room, Ben hoped the resemblance to Thomas' old home wouldn't trigger any new waves of grieve from the child. He cared little for the responses the other guests might give but for Thomas. The boy had had enough heartbreak for a lifetime.

"Major Tallmadge has arrived, sir", Billy announced.

At this, Washington came through the door to greet him, even going so far as to grab his hand and give it a friendly squeeze, something he had never done before, not even after Ben had rescued his life. "Benjamin, I'm glad you could make it."

Ben blinked, silenced by the sudden warm welcome he wasn't used to. Hadn't he been summand by Washington, he wondered. Of course he would make it then! But why was Washington abandoning his other guests for him? Even with the friendlier terms they were on right now, there was no way the general could show this… this affection for lack of better words in front of the other generals. Most didn't even really know about Ben's special position for the safety of their own spies and even to those who knew better, he remained a low major in rank.

"Hello Thomas." Washington crouched down in front of the boy and also shook his hand mockingly serious, what made the boy giggle happily in return.

Ben stared at his general, wondering if he had missed something. Why in the name of god was Washington behaving like this? Had the wound be severe enough for him to fall into a fever and hallucinate? "Sir?"

"Pray, don't let him stand there all night, George. The food is getting cold and the boy is hungry I suppose."

Was that… a woman? Ben tried to straighten his uniform once more, a look on his face that bordered on horror. "Sir, I…"

But Washington waved him of and all but pushed him into the room. "Come now, Major."

In the room, there was not the commanding staff as Ben had expected but a single woman that seemed strangely familiar like somebody he had met once but he couldn't place a name to the face. Brown hair, a smiling face and dark, warm eyes. She was pretty even though not the youngest anymore and Ben approached her with all the respect that had been trilled into him, holding out his hand for her. "Madame. Major Tallmadge, at your service." He bowed, hoping his lack of words or names would be covered up by this and that he hadn't just insulted her with an address beneath her status. Silently, he wondered who she was. Maybe a lady of society that Washington wanted to be briefed about a spying method due to a redcoat in her home or a husband loyal to the crown or that had come forwards with an offer of support. He knew the general had had several of this meetings in the past, but why did he then require his present- or that of Thomas?

The woman turned around and threw a nearly angry look at the Commander in Chief, her brown curls, that had been laid in a complex hairstyle bouncing at the motion. "My, George, do you always have your friends stand on protocol? The boy looks like he is ready to ride into battle and certainly not against pork. Surely this isn't necessary."

Ben gasped bewildered at her. Who was she to speak to the general in this mocking, nearly insulting way? His temper got the better of him. "I'm sorry, Madame, but you are mistaken. I am no friend but a major under his command and not only protocol but also my manners and my respect to the general demand this from me. However, if my presence makes you uncomfortable…"

"Benjamin."

The soft word made the major stop at once and lower his gaze, not daring to look over to Washington. A blush rose over his cheeky. "My apologies", he mumbled.

Washington chuckled lightly at this. "There is none needed. Now that you have stopped defending my honor, may I introduce you to my wife, Major?"

Ben turned all but scarlet, letting the redcoats color fade in comparison and bowed again, deep enough to make it appropriate for a queen this time. "It is an honor, my lady."

She inclined her head, a genuine smile on her face. "The honor is mine, Major. I have heard many good things about you."

At that Ben did dare a look over to Washington who was smiling nearly fondly at the scene in front of him. But after all, it could also just have been Thomas he was sending that smile to.

"You flatter me, my lady", mumbled Ben, wondering what she could have been told. His insubordination? He was sure only Caleb considered that his best quality, but what else was there to tell? From Washington most of all?

Mrs. Washington laughed warmly at Ben's reply. "Do all your boys have such good manners, George? I wasn't aware they were taught anything else then how to fight."

"I'm afraid not, my love, but the Major here is something special after all. Yale, wasn't it?"

Ben could only nod. What was he doing here? He hadn't known that Washington's wife had joined them and he couldn't understand why he of all people had been asked to come here- nor did he understand the sudden change in Washington's behavior towards him. He only knew one thing: He couldn't excuse himself from that company as quickly as he had actually planned. It would be rude even more given the fact that he was the only guest. Why was he the only guest?

"And who is this?", asked Mrs. Washington, delight clear on her face as she noticed Thomas and waved at the boy, who looked over first to Ben and then to Washington, clearly unsure what to make of yet another stranger's face.

Ben's eyes flickered to the general. What did his wife know about her husband's actions- what of Ben's involvement in them? Spies weren't liked or appreciated even if they were the own ones, nor was lady to be bothered with that kind of talk.

Seeing that Benjamin would remain silent, Washington stepped in. "That, Martha, is Thomas. He is the son of two fine people, who were loyal to our cause and killed for it. Murdered one might say. They were childhood friends of Benjamin."

Ben all but bit through his cheek while he received yet again more condolences, from Mrs. Washington this time. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he missed Washington's gaze, that never left him.

The meal was good, Ben supposed, roasted pork, potatoes and carrots, things he hadn't tasted in ages, but, truth be told, the taste was wasted on him. His only pleasure this evening was to see Thomas eat eagerly while he tried to act as was expected of him, even though it became harder by the minute.

The potatoes smelled like the campfire he had once built with Abe and Caleb back in Setauket when they had been younger. They had roasted potatoes over the flames and Caleb hadn't been able to stop talking about adventures, foreign lands and glory while Abe had been dreaming about Anna.

Luckily, his quietness was not much of an offense for Mrs. Washington who was eagerly chatting with Thomas, not at all offended by the short replies of the boy and smiled like she had the best evening in ages. Maybe that was what this was about after all, Ben thought: The boy. Washington seemed to have taken a liking in him and probably wanted to see him well cared for. His ignorance towards children must have been more than obvious than.

"Major?"

Ben's head snapped up and he realized with horror, that he had ignored his general yet again. "I'm sorry, sir."

Washington only nodded and studied the young man in front of him- and the nearly untouched food. "Martha, why don't you take the boy and look, if Billy can make some apple broth for Thomas as desert."

His wife took the hint without even blinking and held her hand out for Thomas. "What do you think, Thomas?"

The boy was more than eager to come along. Maybe it was the fact that she was a woman, maybe Ben just really was bad with children but it kind of hurt. He only now realized that he had desperately tried to do right with Thomas after he had failed Abe- just like Abe had tried to make it up for the death of his brother and just like Abe he had failed in it.

As soon as the door closed behind Washington's wife and Thomas, Ben stiffened and waited for Washington to speak his mind. Given the fact that Ben hadn't spoken more than a handful of sentenced over dinner and picked through his food was after all reason enough to anger any man, let alone Washington who hadn't invited him for such an insult- not that Ben had figured out why he had been here for.

"You are quiet tonight", the general calmly observed, taking a sip of wine and studying Ben over the edge of the glass, expression unreadable as always.

Ben gulped and bowed his head, because he had nothing else to say than the sentence that seemed to be his new always needed response. "I apologize, Your Excellency."

Washington got up and walked over to the major who in return stumbled to his feet, hissing softly in the progress. Worry clouded Washington's face at the sight of this. "Does your wound still trouble you? I can send for the doctor again."

Yesterday still vivid in is mind, Ben shook his head. Even if only an inch from dying, he wouldn't repeat yesterday again- never! "No, Your Excellency."

The truth was, that it would have been easy to blame the wound for his behavior, but Ben had once told Washington he would never lie to him and he wouldn't start now for fear of a well-deserved rebuke. He had it coming after all.

Washington's eyes narrowed but he remained silent, waiting for Ben to continue.

"If I might be so bold to ask, sir. What was it, you wanted to discuss with me?"

But this time, Washington didn't let him get away with his behavior. "No excuse for your behavior, Major, no reason?"

The subtle use of his rank didn't go unnoticed by Ben and he stiffened even more. It might sound like a hint but was nothing short of a command. Still, he knew better now. "Better no excuse than a bad one"

Ben's words had been only a whisper, not really meant for any ears, let alone the general's, but Washington heard them nevertheless and a sight escaped him. His words… The boy had understood anything, his behavior, him not acting on Lee's obvious betrayal, the intelligence Ben showed him, but it seemed like he never understood why Washington had said these words. "But I ask for your reason, not an excuse, Benjamin."

Ben looked away, not trusting his face to remain calm, collected as he began. It was a report, nothing more. A report that Washington would let through on a nod before continuing with his actual reason to summon Ben here. "The riot that was started over Culper's death… The first victim was my father."

"Benjamin..."

"I know, sir", the you major quickly said, "there have been more losses and it is no excuse…"

"Ben!"

The young major fell silent at the use of the nick name that Washington only had used once before. What the general meant by it, he didn't know though. He flinched at the thought of the punishment, he might enfore on him for failing the general yet again.

A heavy hand landed on Ben's shoulder and when the young major looked up, he found himself face to face with Washington. He blinked the tears away and tried to compose himself. "Sir?"

Washington gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Have I been so cold as to really get you to believe your personal loss wouldn't matter?"

Ben gulped and quickly tried to avoid an answer. The question was rhetorical after all and insulting Washington wasn't a thing he wanted to do- ever! No matter the reasons. "You have other things to worry about. The war, the finances, the ring…"

"You are part of this ring, 721", come the soft reply.

"I am head of intelligence, I am not important, merely a soldier…"

"Ben."

He fell silent again and was rendered speechless, when Washington gave his shoulder yet another squeeze, accompanied with a serious look. "Come now, sit down. I think it is time, we do talk with each other."

"Sir?"

But Washington just pushed the major gently onto his seat again and took the chair opposite of him. "You have without doubt wondered why I had asked you here." As Ben nodded, the general continued. "And to what conclusion did you come?"

"Conclusion, sir?"

At this, Washington raised a brow in amusement. "Come now, I have seen often enough for myself that you have a quick mind and an opinion to nearly everything, so I ask of you again: Why do you think I have asked you to join me and my wife for dinner?"

"For the boy's sake, sir?"

Now Washington even chuckled as if Ben had made a good joke. "The boy? If I would want to dine with Thomas, don't you think I could easily ask you to bring him and leave afterwards?" He let the major think about his words for a while before he continued. "But I didn't. I asked you and only later told you to bring the boy."

"You wanted to discuss something with me", was Ben's conclusion after that even though it sounded more like a guess. "What was it, sir?"

"I am doing that right now." Washington smiled at the young major and this time there was no Thomas around to take the blame. Ben didn't seem to know where to look under the sign of affection. He really hadn't praised the boy a lot, Washington thought to himself, but that much doubt? Why was Ben so loyal to him if he thought his general appreciated him so little? It really was time they talked it seemed. "I'm afraid by pushing you to your best I never made clear, that you have my respect, Benjamin, and that you have my friendship." The glance the boy shot him at that was heartbreaking and Washington remembered all too well the way he had looked after the reprimand all that months back. That was yet another down sight when fighting a war with what all to often seemed like children to him. "I need your best as an officer and as head of intelligence, to win this war and protect both the army and myself, but I want you as you are as a confidant. There has been much treachery in this war but you have always been loyal. Headstrong and short-minded sometimes but loyal even in the face of your own death and not just loyal to the cause, but to me."

Ben was nearly embarrassed for all the praise Washington suddenly gave him and stuttered a humble reply, all too well aware that his latest behavior was not to praise, but Washington stopped him with a small gesture.

"I might have to be hard to my men to lead them, but I was there for Arnold when he was wounded and later framed, I was there…"

"I am hardly General Arnold."

A small smile tucked at Washington's lips. "I might be older than you, Major, but I am not blind. So rest assured I do not show affection due to confusion. Now, do I have your word that you will come to me the next time you suffer like this, either from a gun wound or a more personal thing?"

Ben could only nod and Washington once again reached for his arm and gave him a squeeze. "I stand by my opinion, it was not your fault, nor are you doing wrong with the boy."

"You seem to have spies in camp that I am yet unaware of, sir, but I'm afraid, their report is biased at best." It was a light attempt of a joke and Washington smiled at the try. Grieve was something natural, especially after losing your last family member, but what the boy had been doing wasn't healthy. He of all people knew where dark thoughts would lead you- and he didn't wish that for Benjamin.

"My friendship doesn't mean you get to see all my cards, Major, or otherwise you would get out of practice with guessing and spying. Now", he stood up and grabbed a glass of wine. "I think we shall save Billy from Thomas and my wife, so he doesn't have to coke apple broth for the rest of his days, wouldn't you agree, Benjamin?"

Ben nodded and a small smile played around his mouth at somehow domestic idea. As Washington was about to leave the room, Ben quietly murmured: "Thank you, sir."