Elsa made a mental note not to wear heels the next time she broke out of prison. She cringed as she tried to creep silently behind Jack, but the clip, clip sound of her icy footwear seemed to echo through the cell block. After a pointed look from Jack, she decided to ditch them, making another mental note to wash her feet thoroughly at the earliest available opportunity.
The queen was completely disoriented. She was unconscious the first time she was brought to the dungeon and preoccupied with a half a dozen bayonets hovering behind her back the second. Fortunately, Jack seemed to know where he was going, silently making his way through the dark corridors. A few strategically placed torches were the only available source of light.
The pair came across a heavy door halfway through one of the hallway, one with the word "Armory" etched into the wood.
"Alright Remy. Which key do we want?" Jack whispered. A furry head poked out of his jacket pocket and began sniffing the keys.
Elsa wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Ugh, you brought him with you?"
"Of course! He's brilliant, aren't you Remy?" Jack insisted.
"I thought pirates were supposed to keep parrots as pets."
"Are you kidding?" Jack bristled. "Loathsome birds. Think they're so clever, just 'cause they can talk. If I need to hear something I say repeated in a stupid voice, I'd…"
The pair froze as a loud thump echoed through the hallway. They remained silent for a minute, not even daring to breathe. Even Remy remained unnaturally still. When no other noises followed, Jack continued fiddling with the keys.
"Now a monkey's pretty handy to have around. Knew a fellow that had an undead monkey once. Vicious little thing, but he was quite the accomplished pick pocket," he remarked.
"You're joking."
"I never joke about undead monkeys," Jack replied earnestly. "Course, an undead monkey's pretty much the same as a live one, 'cept they don't eat and if you shoot 'em, you'll only make 'em angry."
"Do you always talk this much?" Elsa asked.
"You'll get used to it."
After a while, Jack exhausted the key ring. Remy threw up his paws in what seemed to be a genuine shrug, then curled back into Jack's pocket.
"Hmm. Guess he didn't have that one," Jack said, scratching his head.
"Here. I've got this," Elsa said.
She placed her hand against the lock, sending a quick surge of magic into the mechanism. She shoved the handle down, wincing as the fatigued metal gave way and the lock popped open.
"That's a neat trick," Jack whispered.
"Thanks."
"You know, if this whole queen thing doesn't work out for you, you'd make a pretty good burglar." Elsa decided not to comment.
They made their way into the armory, poking around the varied collection of swords, maces, crossbows, rifles, and other assorted weaponry. Elsa briefly entertained the notion of grabbing a rapier or a pistol for herself, but decided against it. She already had a weapon, although she cringed at the thought of using her magic in such a fashion.
"What are we doing?" Elsa asked.
"Just need to pick something up before we go. Won't be long," Jack explained. He started collecting various items and attaching them to the variety of straps, holsters, and pockets on his bandolier. Two cutlasses, four pistols, a blow pipe, and several clay balls that looked a lot like grenades found a place on his person.
Still, he wasn't done searching. "Let's see. I know they put it around here somewhere," he muttered.
"What are you looking for?" Elsa whispered urgently. It was only a matter of time before someone found the guard. Granted, Jack had the foresight to bind and gag him before locking him in Elsa's cell, but there was bound to be a shift change eventually.
"Something very valuable. Can't leave without it," Jack murmured. His eyes lit up as he came across a wire mannequin head, adorned with a pointy leather hat.
"Jackpot!" he said happily, taking the hat from its resting place and placing it gently on top of his head.
"A hat," Elsa deadpanned.
"Yep."
"We came all this way for a hat?" Elsa demanded.
"It's a very fine hat," Jack said defensively.
"I think we may need to have a conversation about your priorities."
Elsa's eyes went wide as the heard the door creak open behind her. A hand held lamp illuminated the escapees, as well as the face of the red coat that held it.
"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" he said.
"Sorry mate. Got a bit lost looking for the john," Jack said, flashing a friendly grin. "Think you could point us in the right direction?"
The guard, a rather doughy faced man with beady eyes, regarded them for a moment. His face went white when he realized who the woman in the glittering blue dress was.
"You! You're the winter witch!" he stammered, fumbling for his pistol.
Elsa reacted much, much faster, pinning him to the wall with a wave of icicles. Jack stepped gingerly over to the pinned red coat, testing the end of an icicle with his finger tip. He withdrew quickly as the sharp tip pierced the skin, putting the injured digit in his mouth.
"Right. Remind me not to make you angry," he said respectfully.
"Look, we don't want any trouble," Elsa said carefully. "Just stay quiet and it'll be like we never saw each other."
"Jailbreak! Jailbreak! The witch is on the loose!" the guard screamed. He was rewarded with a fist to the face, courtesy of Jack.
"You think they heard that?" Elsa asked, hanging on to an irrational bit of hope. A clanging bell, followed by barking dogs and shouts shattered that particular delusion.
"And now we run," Jack grimaced.
##############################
The last time Elsa made a desperate run, the only one brave enough to chase after her was her sister. This time her pursuers consisted of several dozen well-armed soldiers, along with packs of angry guard dogs. She and Jack darted through the hallways, frantically trying to find an exit.
"So, any idea where we're going?" Jack asked as they sped down the hall.
"Not really." Elsa huffed. "My tour got cut off early."
"Guess we'll have to wing it then."
As they turned the corner, half a dozen redcoats trained their weapons on the duo. On instinct, Elsa raised a thick wall of ice between them. The ice cracked as the soldiers discharged their weapons, but the wall held.
"Guess we're not going that way," Elsa muttered.
"C'mon love. Plenty of doors left," Jack replied.
The pair continued their flight, with Elsa blocking or trapping each group of redcoats they came across. While it kept them from being captured, each hallway Elsa sealed denied the escapees a possible way out.
Eventually their pursuers trapped them in the east wing staircase. Elsa's legs burned as she sprinted up the stairs. She was pulled to her knees as one of the dogs managed to catch up and grab hold of the hem of her ice dress. Its growl was deep and guttural and the brute threatened to drag her down the staircase. Jack slashed at the dress, slicing cleanly through it with his sword, leaving both the dog and Elsa's leg intact. The dog tumbled down the stairs, stunned, but otherwise unharmed. Elsa threw up another ice wall behind them as they continued up the staircase, bidding a silent thank you to the pirate.
The stairs continued up, further and further. Elsa lost track of how many flights they'd climbed. When they reached the top, Jack carefully peeked through the door, then ducked back behind it, just in time for an arrow to sail through the space and embed itself in the wall. Elsa froze the door shut, and while it seemed to hold, she was pretty sure the hacking sound she heard against it was an axe.
"Lovely," Jack said sarcastically.
"Now what?" Elsa asked.
Jack peered through the window. The light was just starting to come up over the water. He could see the entire city, all the way down to the harbor.
Elsa's perspective was considerably dimmer. The heavy curtains in the east wing hid the darker side of King's Landing. As the sun began to bathe the city in light, the full effect of Logan's draconian leadership came into full view. Filthy hovels lined the streets, with people barely dressed in rags cowering in fear as squads of soldiers scattered through the city. She could hear gunfire in the distance, and she hoped, though she sincerely doubted, that they were merely warning shots.
"Logan, what have you done," Elsa whispered.
"Not a pretty sight, is it?" Jack said solemnly.
"We have to get out of here. People need to know what's happening."
"Well, there's the window, or there's...nope, looks like window's the only option," Jack said thoughtfully.
"Would you prefer a slide or a spiral staircase?" Elsa asked.
"Seriously?"
The ice on the door split down the middle, splinters sticking through the crack. The axe continued to gain ground, until a manic looking eye peered through the hole. Elsa wasn't sure which was more terrifying, the hundred foot drop or the clearly deranged axe wielding individual on the other side of the door.
"Slide'll be faster," Elsa said quickly.
Elsa's magic coalesced in the morning sky, zipping through the air to form a lengthy ramp from the castle keep. It shot straight down through the city, solidifying on roof tops, terminating just shy of the port. It was to date, the second most ambitious structure Elsa had ever summoned into existence, but by far the most imposing.
"I have to say I am loving this plan. I'm glad to be a part of it," Jack said sardonically. "Please tell me you have a way of slowing us down?"
"I'm working on it."
The door finally gave way, the ice shattering to a thousand pieces as the heavy wooden panel fell to the ground. "Time's up," Jack said. He fired a couple of shots into the opening where the door once stood, then tossed a grenade in for good measure. Then, without really looking, and without giving the queen a moment to protest, he dove for the window, grabbing her hand as he tumbled through it, dragging her along with him.
##############################
Charlie's parents weren't very fond of magic. "It's not natural," they said when he would ask about it. "Just a bunch of stupid parlor tricks." Naturally, when a real-live sorceress came to visit King's Landing, they made a point of staying home for the day, and Charlie was stuck practicing his handwriting. He wanted ever so much to meet the lady that could make it snow, but little Charlie's parents would have none of it.
Charlie was quite surprised when he awoke to see icicles decorating his window, rather an uncommon sight in the middle of May. When he opened the window, he found not only icicles, but an entire sheet of solid ice coating the entire roof. It seemed to stretch on forever, going from his house to Grandpa Joe's house and on and on through the neighborhood.
Then came the yelling. A man in brown coat zipped down the ice sheet, screaming as he flew by, followed by a lady in a blue dress doing the same. A small grey furry lump squeaked by behind them. He stared in wonder as the brown, blue, and grey blurs disappeared into the distance.
"Mama! Papa!" Charlie yelled. His parents might not be fans of magic, but surely a mile long ice ramp would impress them. And who know? Maybe they'd even let him give it a try.
##############################
Elsa and Jack flew down the massive slope faster far faster than any human being had business going. The pair of human toboggans zipped down the ice, trying desperately to grab hold of anything to slow them down, including each other.
Luckily, Elsa had the good sense to fashion a softer impact point than the cobblestone street where her ice slide terminated. At the last second, a massive snowdrift materialized at the foot of the ramp, bringing their rapid descent to an uncomfortable, but survivable end.
The citizens of King's Landing stared into the massive snow pile, peering into a series of impact craters, shaped like a pirate, a queen, and a rodent respectively.. Elsa emerged first, her face taking on a distinctly greener hue than usual as she tried to regain her footing.
"That was fun. Let's never do it again," Jack muttered as he stumbled out of the snow. He reached for his throat as he forced the bile back into his stomach. Remy crawled out from under Jack's hat as he picked it up. The little rat was shaking badly as he climbed up Jack's arm and back into his pocket.
"Who is that?" someone called out from the crowd.
"It's the Snow Queen!"
"And she's got a guy with her!"
"I thought she was marrying King Logan?"
"She must be eloping!"
"Really? I didn't think she fancied men."
"Oh, how romantic! It's just like that story with the bride that ran away. What was that called again?"
"Wait, what?" Elsa said, flustered. "No, no, no no, no. None of that is happening."
"Elsa, less talking, more running," Jack said through a tight smile.
"Right, sorry." With that, they sped off, leaving the mob to continue manufacturing increasingly more ludicrous rumors. Luckily Elsa was out of earshot before the crowd started speculating about body parts freezing and sticking to other body parts.
Fortunately, security at the docks was minimal. Most of the redcoats were busy trying to dig their ships out of the ice. The only soldiers remaining on the docks stood in pairs at the end of each pier, guarding the gang plank to each ship.
Jack looked positively giddy. Like Anna in a sweet shop, he carefully surveyed the various ships at port, murmuring to himself as he examined each one.
"Too big. Too small. Too slow. Wow. I'm not even sure what that's supposed to be. Is that supposed to be a ship?" he muttered. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Ah. There were are."
He strode toward a mid-sized vessel with a bright red hull. Gold trim adorned the stern, with a massive golden skull and crossbones gleaming at them above the captain's quarters. The words Jolly Roger were lavishly painted on the hull, with HMS neatly added to the front sometime after.
"Hello beautiful. Where have you been all my life?" Jack said in awe.
"Would you two like to be alone?" Elsa teased.
"You're ruining the moment."
They crept up closer, hiding behind some crates while they tried to work out a way to steal the ship undetected. Elsa overheard a rather loud debate from the pair of redcoats standing between her and freedom.
"I'm telling you, I seen one with me own eyes," the taller of the two insisted.
"You're mental," his shorter, rounder companion scoffed.
"I'm telling you Grif, I saw her. A real life mermaid."
"There's no such thing as mermaids."
"Are too."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are not."
"How would you know? You've never even been out at sea before."
"Alright, what'd she look like?"
"Gorgeous mate. Bright red hair, green eyes. Couple of seashells covernin' her…you know." Elsa raised an eyebrow as the man made a sort of lifting motion in front of his chest.
"Uh huh. And she was fish from the waist down?"
"Yep. Saw her tail splash and everything."
"So, let's say you managed to find and woo your mermaid. What then?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if she's a fish from the waist down, how are you supposed to…you know?" Elsa stifled a laugh as he made a sort of bizarre gesture, mashing his hands together like he was assembling a crude peanut butter sandwich.
"Huh. I never thought of that."
"Alright love, looks like the ship's clear. Count of three, I'll get the one on the right, you get the one on the left. Savvy?" Jack whispered.
"Wait," Elsa whispered, grabbing Jack's shoulder. "Do you think the two of us will be able to sail this thing on our own?"
"Um…no. Gotta better idea?"
"I think so. Follow my lead."
Elsa stood up straight and purposefully marched toward the end of the pier. Jack trailed behind her, carefully concealing a pistol behind him.
The soldiers seemed more interested in their conversation than the approaching trespassers. Elsa's heart was pounding in her ears. The overheard the taller redcoat say something about a mermaid somehow getting human legs and other such anatomy, which his companion insisted, still didn't account for where mermaids came from in the first place.
"Ahem," Elsa said, trying to seem as calm and regal as possible. You can do this. You have to do this.
The stout one turned first, his eyes bugging out as he realized who was standing before him. "It's the s-s-s-s-sorceress!" he yelped.
"Good evening gentlemen," Elsa said politely, without skipping a beat. "I have a proposition for you, if I could spare a moment of your time." The soldiers glanced at their muskets, which were already frozen solid. "Don't bother," Elsa added as they started fumbling for their pistols. They put their hands up as they saw frost sparkling on the queen's fingertips.
"What kind of proposition?" Grif asked nervously.
"I need to get to Arendelle. I need a ship and a crew. I'd be more than happy to compensate you for your trouble," Elsa explained politely.
"Sounds good to me gents. I hear Corona's a lovely place for an early retirement," Jack added.
"Of course, I could just freeze the two of you, take your ship, and then you'll get to explain to the Mad King why you let his prisoner get away."
The soldiers stared at the queen for a moment, then at each other. They seemed to be having some sort of silent conversation, one that consisted entirely of eye movement and facial expressions. Finally, they turned to face Elsa and Jack once again.
"Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger."
##############################
James Hook was…unhappy. That wasn't unusual in and of itself. Truth be told, he was never happy. Happy thoughts, truly happy thoughts, eluded the man. The closest he came to happiness was more akin to satisfaction. The exact opposite of what he was feeling at this particular moment.
"You owe me a ship, Logan," he hissed as he watched the Jolly Roger sail off into the morning light. With the rest of the fleet was still embedded in the ice, Logan's men could only watch helplessly as the Snow Queen escaped into the open sea.
"Mind your tongue, Captain. It wasn't that long ago that you were sitting in a cell yourself, ranting about some infernal crocodile," Logan replied nastily.
"Of course. My apologies, Your Majesty," Hook said, bowing with mock contrition. Logan noted the sarcasm, but chose not to make an issue of it. As tedious as this pirate was, he was good at his job and willing to get his hands dirty, so to speak.
"You want a ship? You've got it. The Maelstrom is yours, as well as any other ships you manage to dig out of the ice."
Hook could barely contain his glee. Sure, the Jolly Roger was a fine ship, but the Maelstrom? This ship was a true monstrosity. Three masts, over a hundred heavy guns. This thing could blow the Kraken out of the water and still make it back in time for tea.
"And the witch?" Hook asked.
"Bring her back. Do whatever it takes."