Yo. I have a Beta reader now. :D But... as you can tell I didn't message em'... I had to get this up but my beta is Carriage000 Thank you :) Next chapter I will be dropping you an email =3

I DON'T CARE IF I SPELL COURSE WRONG!

Kay, onto further adue. You guys find out what's wrong with him!!! YAY!! I tried to drag this part out as long as I could but I found I'm rushing things a bit to much -.-

Anyhoodle, dedications: Carriage000, WritingDaisy, MatterOFTrust

Thank you for reviewing! Really! 13 reveiws and it was only on chapter 3! this makes me very happy =D

Well... if you cry easily.. don't read

If you cry easily and you like that kind of thing... your a sick fuck, I love you :D and enjoy ^+^

"Kaoru! Kaoru!" Tamaki called as he walked into my room.

I was sitting on my balcony looking at the clouds.

"Oh! There you are! So why did you need me here?" He asked and I stood up and started walking.

"Follow me." I said softly and he did.

We walked for a while without him talking. He stood right next to me incase I needed any support, he'd help.

He was confused when we walked into the hospital.

"Why are were here mon ami?" He asked confused and I looked up at him.

"My name right now is Katsu Hiroki, ok? If they ask for your name its Takao Shin." I said and Tamaki nodded slowly.

"I'm here for my appointment." I said and the nurse nodded.

"Have a seat, we'll be with you in a moment." She said and smiled. Tamaki and I sat down.

My heart was pounding.

'It's just a cold.'

I assured myself.

'Nothing more than a common cold. I'll be fine.'

But truthfully, I knew something was going wrong with me.

"Mr. Hiroki, would you please follow me." The nurse said and Tamaki looked at me.

"Do you want me there with you?" He asked and I nodded quickly.

"Please." I begged and Tamaki and I walked into the room.

I sat on the bed and Tamaki sat in the chair next to it. He looked up at me afraid.

"They're just giving you medicine right? You're not seriously hurt, right?" Tamaki asked and I looked down at him and shrugged.

"I don't know anymore." I said softly and the doctor walked in.

"Hello Mr. Hiroki. I see you've taken my advice and brought someone with you. Hi, I'm doctor Akio. And you are?" He asked Tamaki and I sighed. I had a feeling Tamaki was going to get us caught.

"My name is Takao Shin. I am Katsu's cousin." Tamaki introduced quite formally and I held back a grin. He remembered.

"So. It's just a cold right? Give me my medication, I'll be fine.." I urged and he looked at his clipboard.

"Actually..." He gulped. "I'm sorry Mr. Hiroki, you have leukemia." He said and Tamaki and I exchanged glances.

"...What is leukemia?" Tamaki asked hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Leukemia is a cancer that starts in the tissue that forms blood. In a person with leukemia, the bone marrow makes abnormal white blood cells. The abnormal cells are leukemia cells... Unlike normal blood cells.. Leukemia cells don't die when they should. They may crowd out normal white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. This makes it hard for normal blood cell to do their work." The doctor said and I looked up.

"I... Have cancer?" I asked and he nodded slowly.

"I'm very sorry." He said and I looked down.

"How long do I have?" I asked with my voice cracking.

"Well you have a chance of living if you go to chemotherapy. A 6 in 10 chance but that's better than nothing. But if you don't get treatment then you only have about 7 months. I'd like to think if you came sooner it would be much easier to treat... I'm sure you'd like to talk with your cousin for a while. I'll be back in a few minutes." He said and I looked at Tamaki with tears in my eyes.

"I'm going to die." I whimpered and tears rolled down my cheeks, I let them fall even though they hurt badly. "I'm going to DIE."

Looking at Tamaki I could see that his eyes were watering up. He stood up angrily.

"You could've had a better chance at living Kaoru!" He cried out. "Why did to tell me you went to the doctors?" He fell to the floor in sobs. "Don't leave me Kaoru."

". . ." I looked away. This was indeed my fault. I waited and waited. I should've just came as soon as the symptoms started but I had to be stubborn. If I die... I deserve it.

"I'm sorry Tamaki."

~** **~

I laid on my bed alone. I had Leukemia. Cancer. I was carrying cancer. I looked at my wall and my eyes watered. I wanted to be with Hikaru. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be better. But he had Haruhi. I want him so bad.

I turn on my bed slightly, making sure it doesn't hurt.

I thought, did I like Tamaki in that way?

But I knew I didn't. I love Tono-Senpai, but I just... Don't love him like that. Why did I fall for my brother who was in love with some... Girl... Why am I so jealous? It isn't fair! God damn it!

I wanted to punch something but I knew that was a rather stupid idea. It hurt like hell when they took some bone marrow. I wanted them to be absolutely sure. I wish I didn't. I know I have it. Why did I make it that much more painful for me?

At least Tamaki was there for me. I needed a friend more than anything.

I don't want to die. I have my whole... Life... I guess I don't. 7 months isn't really a long life to look forward to is it?

"Kaoru? Are you in there?" Hikaru asked and maybe... If I push him away, he won't be hurt when I die... I'll be mean to him..

"Go away Hikaru!" I yelled and tears welled in my eyes.

I have cancer. I should disgust you Hikaru.

I thought bitterly.

"Kaoru! Mom wants you to come out of your room and eat!" Hikaru replied angrily.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled, more tears rolling down my face.

"FINE! STARVE TO DEATH THEN! SEE IF I CARE!" He shouted and stomped off.

As the tears rolled down my cheek I couldn't help but smile sadly.

He won't care if I die.

I smiled a bit wider.

Good. Now he won't be hurt when it happens. I could die and it won't matter. He wouldn't care. That's good. That made me so... Happy.

More tears rolled down my cheek. I honestly didn't know what they were for. Was I upset? Was I happy?

I sighed.

Then... Suddenly my phone went off.

"Hello?"

"You should really eat Kaoru, or I'll go there and shove food down your throat." Tamaki said all to seriously.

"How did you--"

"Really Kaoru? Your asking me how I knew?" Tamaki asked confused and I sighed.

"I can't face my family, Tamaki. They know I'm sick. I can't tell them what I have." I said softly and Tamaki sighed.

"Please Kaoru. Eat. You still have a chance at beating this." He replied and I looked down.

"For you." I said and literally heard him smile.

"Merci mon ami." He said softly and we hung up and I walked out of my room and down the stairs. I couldn't deal with all this pain.

I sat down at the table and no one looked at me. I didn't want them to. But the thing that made me upset the most was all I heard was Hikaru talk to mom and dad about his new girlfriend Haruhi. I scowled. I tried to eat as much as possible, for Tono. But I took one bite and wanted to vomit.

I got up holding my hand over my mouth and felt a glare.

"Quit being so over dramatic Kaoru." Hikaru snapped and my heart ached and I didn't even look at him.

"Sweetie! What's wrong?" My mom asked and ran over to me and I quickly slammed the bathroom door in her face.

I have fucking cancer and my brother hates me. That's what's wrong mom.

A few more tears rolled down my cheek and I knelt over the toilet and threw up.

"God damn it." I sobbed. I threw up the tiny bit I ate and since I didn't have anything in my system I was dry heaving for a few minutes.

~** **~

Tamaki was in my room. He just kind of came in the second I text him and told him I couldn't eat.

He had something in his hands and he sat by my bedside. He opened the container and had a spoon in his hand.

"I'm going to feed you cream of broccoli. It's very rich and creamy, it should be easy going down and it tastes good too." Tamaki said and got a spoonful of it and blew on it lightly. "I'm only giving you the broth until your comfortable with eating."

He pressed the spoon to my lips and I slowly ate every spoonful.

"I'm so proud of you." He smiled as we nearly finished the broth.

"Thank you Tamaki." I said and he laughed softly.

"I really am. I know how hard it is to eat when your sick and you ate all of the broth. Do you want to try the potato chunks or not yet?" Tamaki asked grinning widely. I couldn't help but smile. Tamaki knew how hard it was on me and he appreciated the fact that I tried. It was nice to think someone actually knows.

"I'll try, for you Tono." I said and he smiled.

"Ok, I'll make them small pieces." He said and held a piece with a little bit of leftover broth on it.

And I ate it. Tamaki was so proud of me.

"Well, I have to be ready for school tomorrow. If you can you should go. But don't strain yourself. Ok?" Tamaki smiled and kissed the top of my head lightly.

"We'll get through this. I promise we will." He whispered and walked out of my room.

I smiled and closed my eyes.

W00T!! Go Tono!!! And dun worry, I will be getting Hikaru in at some point ^^

Remember! I want this story to have 60 reviews or 100 (if you love me lots ^_^)