Chapter Four
James' POV:
It was two in the morning when the crying woke me up. I heard the front door open and bags hit the floor. I heard hushed voices. The walls at Kendall's house were pretty thick, but he had told me that Katie was coming in the middle of the night and she was upset. But I hadn't heard Katie this upset in a long time. I tossed the blankets off of me and went to the door of the guest room and listened through, trying to hear what was going on.
"I need-" was all I heard before the front door closed again and the house was quiet. I made a decision. In only a pair of sweats I left my room and opened the front door. It was dark, but I picked out Katie and Kendall at the end of the driveway. They were arguing and Katie's voice kept cracking. She was sobbing. My heart broke. I had forgotten what it was like to hear her sob. Then, within a matter of seconds, she was sprinting up the driveway.
"Catch her!" Kendall yelled. I did as I was told. I reached out and scooped her up, the sobbing, screaming mess.
"What do I do with her?" I called.
"Let me…" she whimpered, kicking feebly at me, my shoulder already wet with tears.
"Let you what?" I asked gently, talking like I would to Nick.
"Let me see him."
"She wants to see Nick." Kendall reached us.
"So?" I wondered.
"Right now." He sighed. "And I told her she couldn't wake him up and she could wait until morning."
"So why the tantrum?" I asked. He looked away.
"I want to make sure he's ok." Katie murmured.
"Wish granted." Kendall sighed in defeat and pointed to the living room window. Lucy was awake with Nick and they were waving.
"Nicholas!" Katie cried and squirmed out of my arms and ran for the door. Nick met her on the porch. She knelt and crushed him in her arms, crying in relief from the sound of her voice. "You're ok!"
"Katie," Kendall's voice was edged with warning. "Filter."
"I missed you." She ran her hands over his face lovingly.
"Are you ok, Aunt Katie?" he wondered sleepily.
"Yes, baby, I'm ok." She sighed, sitting back on her heels. "I just remembered something sad and I needed to see a happy face to make me feel better."
"I'm a happy face." He smiled as big as he could. I chuckled. She hugged him.
"I'm sorry to wake you up." She apologized softly.
"I heard you crying. Mommy said you were sad and you would feel better if I came out." He stood proudly. "Do you feel better?"
"Much better." She smiled softly.
"Uncle James was holding you like a baby." Nick rubbed his eyes sleepily. I choked back my laughter and watched the slight blush that appeared on her face. It was dark, but I knew that blush. It happened so rarely. Used to be that only I could make her blush. But now this little man could too. Who had he learned from?
"Uncle James doesn't know when to butt out." She looked over her shoulder at me. I rolled my eyes. I would forgive her since she had had a hard night. Normally I would have to teach her a lesson for being a brat. I shuddered at the thought of touching her like that again.
"I told you that you could come say hello to everyone. But now it's back to bed." Lucy patted Nick's shoulders.
"Will you come with me?" Nick looked at Katie with eyes that could melt stone.
"Always." She picked him up in her arms and for just the slightest second I saw her eyes in his. Those chocolate eyes that would tear you apart and then put you back together in a matter of minutes. And then the moment was gone and she was stepping into the house.
"He really loves her." Lucy smiled at Kendall.
"She was a mess." He sighed and reached out to hold Lucy. She let him lean on her.
"Why was she a mess? I'm still so lost." I frowned, not liking being out of the loop.
"Just something that happened to a friend tonight scared her. She needed some reassurance." Kendall watched me carefully as my eyes trailed to the door of the house. "Leave it, James."
"She looked terrified." I mused, in a trance. I hated seeing that fear in her eyes. I had seen it a few times before I left for school.
"She'll be ok." Kendall decided. "Why don't you go check on them?"
"I don't think she'd like that." I scoffed.
"Go anyway." Lucy prodded. "Since when did you let anyone tell you what to do?" I chuckled to myself and took their advice. I could tell when they wanted a minute. When I entered the house I heard Katie shutting Nick's door and soft steps to the bathroom. And then I heard the shower starting. I sighed and let myself into the guest room.
Cause you're my cover, covergirl.
Yeah I think you're a superstar, yeah you are
Why don't you know?
I heard the first few notes of one of our old songs drift from her lips and through the wall. She sang so rarely, always leaving the performing to Kendall, but her voice was beautiful. And I decided that, just for tonight, I'd fall asleep to it.
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Katie's POV:
Waking up on a couch is never pleasant, no matter how comfortable the couch is. It's also not comfortable to wake up to James Diamond making breakfast. Shirtless. With messy morning hair.
"Finally awake." He caught my gaze and went back to fixing himself an omelet.
"Where are my clothes?" I looked around the couch for where I had left my robe the night before. It was nowhere to be found.
"I think Lucy said something about doing laundry." He mumbled, focused on cutting up tomatoes. "Why?"
"Nothing." I looked down at my body, covered by blankets. I hadn't exactly brought walk-around-the-house pajamas. They were my silk and lace short and tank-top set. The ones James had bought me for my graduation present. This was about to get ten times more awkward. I got out of the blankets and came around the island into the kitchen. "How did you sleep?" He looked up and dropped the spatula he was holding. His eyes raked over my body and I felt my face heating up.
"You're wearing the lingerie I bought you." His voice was husky. "In Kendall's house."
"It's not lingerie." I argued. "Pajamas."
"Do you always wear gifts like this around your family?"
"I planned to have my robe over it." I added. "If Lucy hadn't washed it."
"I thought you would have gotten rid of them." He turned back to his cooking.
"Why?" I asked as I grabbed a banana and peeled it slowly.
"Considering we broke up." He ground out and dropped the omelet on a plate. He handed the plate to me. I looked up at him. "Eat." He nodded at the food.
"But I thought-"
"I already ate. We all have. They're gone to the park. I stayed to make sure you weren't dead. Eat." He explained.
"Thank you." I took the plate gingerly and searched for a fork.
"I'm gonna go shower. After I get out, please have some clothes on." He breezed out of the kitchen before I could reply. I sighed and hopped up on the counter to finish my breakfast. And I grudgingly had to admit that he had only gotten better at making omelets since we had dated. I felt like throwing the plate at his head. Or jumping him in the shower, either one worked. I shook my head. He was right. I needed food in me. I wasn't thinking straight.
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James' POV:
That girl had no idea what she did to me. I stood in the shower, trying my best to keep from moaning. I didn't want her thinking she had gotten the better of me. But she was wearing lingerie! The lingerie I had gotten her! In an empty house. With those beautiful morning curls framing her face. And that crack in her voice she had in the morning before it warmed up. All those little things I remembered…they added up. I knew Katie Knight. And her trying to hide for a few years didn't change that. I knew her and that's what made her uncomfortable. Few people really knew her and I did. Maybe better than anyone.
"Uncle James!" I heard the door fly open. I quickly shut off the water.
"Hey, Pal!" I pulled the curtain back to see him standing in the bathroom. He really had no boundaries. "Think you could hand me that towel?" I motioned to the towel on the rack a few feet away.
"Yep." He passed it to me and I had just enough time to get it around my waist and step out of the shower when,
"Hey, Nick, do you want to come help me-" Katie froze in the doorway, mouth hanging open. I smirked.
"Close your mouth." I chuckled. There was that blush again.
"Uncle James, why is she blushing?" Nick asked.
"She likes the way I look and she's too embarrassed to tell me." I explained. She glared daggers at me.
"Aunt Katie, why are you embarrassed to tell Uncle James that you like the way he looks?" Nick turned to her. I thanked God this kid was alive. The look on her face was precious.
"I'm not embarrassed." She muttered.
"You can tell him." Nick whispered to her. "I won't laugh at you."
"I might." I snickered. The towel shifted slightly lower on my hips and I saw her eyes dart there. I knew I had her hooked. She needed me.
"Nick!" Kendall's voice rang throughout the house. Katie snapped out of it and grabbed Nick, pulling him out of the bathroom and closing the door. I heard Kendall ask her something and a quick reply of,
"Nothing!"
I laughed to myself and wiped my hair out of my face. One thing hadn't changed. Messing with Katie Knight was always fun.
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Kendall's POV:
"Surprise!" Katie stood in the living room to greet Carlos and Logan when they came in. They looked at her in shock. "I'm here for Christmas."
"She's here for Christmas!" Nick yelled in excitement, dancing around her.
"Is James-" Carlos began.
"Yep." James appeared from around the corner. "James is here also." Logan and Carlos looked around like they expected a bomb to go off. Mom came in through the doorway.
"Nicholas!" Mom smiled.
"Grandma!" Nick ran to her and hugged her eagerly.
"Oh good, Katie you got here." Mom handed me a tray of cookies. I smiled and helped her carry her stuff to the kitchen. "I'm not staying nights but I thought I'd bring over some provisions. We have lots of kids to feed." As she said that, Lucy and I shared a look. Katie noticed and raised her eyebrows at me. I shook my head.
"I can't wait to see what you all got me for Christmas!" Carlos gushed excitedly.
"It's giving the presents, not getting, that's the fun part." Logan added quickly, aware that Nick was listening.
"Maybe we should have gotten James some condoms." I muttered to Lucy. She burst into giggles, causing everyone to stare. "Too late." I added in a whisper. "Like five years too late."
"What are you laughing about?" Katie crossed her arms.
"Nothing. Nothing." Lucy shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Married stuff, you'd hate it."
"Yeah, we all know that Katie isn't the marrying type." I joked. We began to laugh, but I noticed Katie's gaze drift to James as he stepped out of the house. She caught my eye and I motioned for her to follow him. She ducked out after him and I had everyone help me get sleeping arrangements settled.
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Katie's POV:
"They were right, you know." James turned to face me, knowing I was there without having to look. "You really aren't the marrying type."
"Stop with the underhanded jabs and just say it already." I challenged. He kept his distance.
"You can't commit to anything or anyone! Of course you're not the marrying type! You left me for no other reason than it being too hard! Well reality check, Katie, life is hard and the hard is what makes love worth it. You were worth it to me."
"So what? You're saying that you knew you were gonna marry me?" I chuckled dryly. But he met my gaze solidly.
"Yes."
"Wait…" I caught my breath. Did he just say...?
"Well what did you expect? I told you I loved you. I planned to date you through college. You were supposed to be mine for the rest of our lives!"
"But I thought that….it just didn't seem fair that…" I groaned in frustration. What was I supposed to tell him?
"What? WHAT?" he cried. "Just tell me exactly what you've been trying to tell me for these past five years!"
"I was protecting you!" I cried.
"Nice try. Don't make yourself out to be the hero here. You wrecked my life."
"I wasn't your life."
"You were everything. You know that. I didn't hold back with you. Not with you." He got quiet, simply looking at me.
"Well it's too messed up now. I don't even know…" I put a hand to my forehead. What could even happen here? I couldn't even begin to fix this whole thing. It was easier to just keep going with it and accept the fact that there would be casualties. "I made the right choice."
"No. You didn't." he growled. He scared me when he was like this. So intimidating and serious. It reminded me of Nick when he saw a hurt animal in the road or someone was mean to his friends.
"I know you don't think so. But I did and one day you might see that and I hope that then you can forgive me for doing what I had to do."
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Kendall's POV:
It was two nights later that everything…fell apart. I kind of new that it would. She couldn't keep that secret forever. It just didn't unravel exactly the way I thought. Everyone was watching a movie, save two. Katie and I were outside, trying to talk over some financial planning for Nick's college fund.
"You know, if James knew, he could pitch in." I reminded her. "He has a lot of money that he wishes he could do something helpful with."
"Then give it to charity." Katie snapped. Ever since her fight with James she had avoided him and all conversations involving him. Now I was the bad guy for bringing him up.
"Katie, this is ridiculous!" I made her listen. "At least just tell him. No one says that Nick has to know or you have to date James again, but at least tell him!"
"I'm saving him!"
"You are not! He needs someone to love! He loves Nick already! You see the way he cares for your kid. You know he needs that in his life. He needs you." I blurted before I could stop myself.
"The whole reason that we came up with this arrangement in the first place was because I knew nothing about raising a kid and neither did he!" she argued. "This is the best way to handle it!"
"For you maybe! But not everyone else! You're just being selfish!" I couldn't stand to listen to her make all these decisions anymore. "That kid is someone else's too. Now I don't know if you think you have some sort of motherly right to make all the decisions, but you don't. That is James' kid too and you made that decision without him. That's not right or fair or respectful and I'm starting to have a problem with that."
"And what are you gonna do about it?" she threatened. "This is how it's panned out. We can't change it. You're as deep in this as I am. You agreed to help me."
"No, I agreed to raise Nicholas. You have to do all your other dirty work on your own."
"I just….ugh! I just wanted to give James a chance at life before I sentenced him to being a father! And I wanted a chance too! Is that so much to ask?" she threw up her hands in desperation.
"James needs to know." I put my hand gently on her shoulder and I saw a loan tear fall.
"Come on in! We're playing a board game!" Lucy called. We walked in together, trying to look like we hadn't just been screaming about Nicholas. We sat down to play a riveting round of the board game of Life. It was at the point where we all started adding pegs to our cars that things got…complicated.
"The pegs are kids." Lucy explained to Nick who was on a team with Katie.
"But you can't have kids." Nick frowned. Lucy looked at me in panic. Uh oh.
"Where did you hear that?" Lucy asked, trying to stay calm.
"Uncle Logan told me you can't have kids. That's why you got me as a gift." He smiled. Lucy smiled too.
"This is just a game, buddy, so your mom can have kids in the game. It's pretend." James explained.
"This is a game?" Nick clarified.
"Yes. A fun one." Carlos nodded.
"Mommy shouldn't play." Nick shook his head. Lucy frowned.
"Why not, bud? Why can't I play?" she pretended to look hurt.
"Because you've been sick. You shouldn't play too hard." Nick repeated something he'd heard said many times. Lucy looked at me again, this time it was clear she was desperate for help.
"I thought you said she wasn't sick." James looked at me. Crap.
"She's not!" Katie spoke up, trying to help.
"But she threw up yesterday." Carlos looked at me. "Didn't you do anything?"
"It's ok, Carlos, it's fine." Lucy tried to calm his fears.
"No, she threw up two days ago." Logan frowned at Carlos. Then Logan's eyes widened. The doctor in the group had finally put two and two together. Lucy saw the realization on his face and shook her head. He looked at me and then at her.
"What?" James looked at Logan. "What is it? Why do you look like that?"
"Oh!" Carlos shouted. "I get it! Lucy's pregnant!" he started laughing. I cringed. She grabbed my hand for comfort. I squeezed to let her know it was ok.
"No she's not." James swatted Carlos' knee. "Be nice. Remember? She can't have kids. Don't make it harder than it already is for her."
"How far along are you?" Logan asked her. James reached across and smacked Logan's head.
"Did you not hear me? I said don't make it harder for her. You're gonna make her upset!"
"James." Lucy got his attention. "Thank you but, it's ok." She eased him back to a sitting position. "Katie, could you please put Nick to bed for me?" Lucy turned to Katie who was starting to look like she was going to run.
"Absolutely." Katie offered Nick her hand and the two walked off down the hall. Once they had gone, Lucy looked back to James.
"James, I am pregnant." Lucy breathed. James' mouth fell open. I smiled and kissed her hand as Carlos and Logan congratulated us.
"Guys this is great!" James cried. "But, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to being barren? Lucy you were so sure. Isn't that why you guys adopted Nick?"
"No. It isn't." I sighed. "She was never barren. We needed an excuse for people to believe about why we had adopted Nick instead of having our own kids."
"But then why did you adopt him?" Logan asked. "Just for fun? Test run?"
"A friend of ours couldn't handle being a mother at the time. So we took him for her and raised him." Lucy explained. I could feel her heart pounding through our hands. It was only a matter of time before James found out.
"You mean, Nicholas belongs to someone we know?" Carlos' eyes widened.
"No, Nick belongs to them." Logan swatted Carlos. "He's their kid."
"When did you adopt him again?" James stood, his voice beginning to have an edge to it.
"We adopted him in the spring four years ago." Lucy answered coolly. We watched him do the math.
"We were at the hospital when he was born." I added. "It worked out well that he looked like me. I mean, no one would suspect that he got our family genes from-"
"Katie." James breathed. He looked at me, waiting for me to tell him he was stupid. I didn't. I just looked at him. I watched him process his thought. Watched it form into an idea.
"We promised we would let her name him." Lucy bit her lip. "She named him Nicholas for you I think."
"Nicholas Diamond." I spelled it out for him. "At least, that's what the certificate said."
"Nicholas James Diamond." Katie spoke up from the hall. We all looked to her. James turned to face her. She was biting her lip, her hands balled into fists and her eyes wet with tears waiting to fall.
"Katie, I…" he swallowed and looked around like he had forgotten where he was. "What they said…it's all true?"
"Yes." She nodded quietly. His eyes widened. She stepped into the light more and took a deep breath. "I know you probably have a lot of questions right now and you're probably really mad and you have every right to be but I want you to know that I love him and I love you and I was just doing the best I could. I'm going to go stay at Mom's right now. So you don't have to see me or anything. I mean I just-" she was cut off by him pressing his lips to hers. I was shocked. I expected him to be angry. Beyond angry. But he had his huge hands wrapped around her tiny waist like a man with a purpose. He pulled back.
"I'm so angry with you right now." He breathed. I chuckled. Classic James. Angry? Kiss the girl. That'll make it better.
"But you just-"
"Sh." He put a hand over her mouth. "I know. Tomorrow, you are going to sit down and tell me this whole thing from the beginning like you should have done. And I'm bringing a bottle of gin." He nodded and grabbed his coat. "You've made a mess of things, Katie Bear, and I don't appreciate it." He kicked the garbage can over and opened the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I need air. I need time to think. I need to think." And with that he was gone.