Axel worked on the cars, a frown on his face. It was Sunday and he was the only one in the auto-shop. The owner and most of the other mechanics had families they wanted to visit, but Sora was busy studying for a test and wouldn't miss him so he'd decided to get ahead on things. It would make life for him very easy on Monday.

Axel, can we talk while you do this? I want to try a few things. Axel sighed as he heard Roxas' voice again.

He'd been seeing Dr. Zexion for several weeks and it didn't seem to be doing much good. Roxas didn't want to talk to him anymore and the various techniques Zexion had tried to draw him out hadn't worked. Roxas had told him pithily that it was because he wasn't an alternate personality at all, but something completely outside himself. Zexion wasn't willing to accept that anymore than Axel was, but Roxas was turning out to be remarkably opaque. Axel was trying not to respond to Roxas anywhere that people might hear him. He didn't like looking crazy in front of his friends. But they were alone right now. So he might as well see what his hallucinations wanted.

"Sure, why not." Axel said with a notable lack of enthusiasm. Roxas laughed softly at him.

Gee thanks. Okay. I'm trying to imitate Zexion here. Tell me, Axel, how old was Larxene when you met her? Axel blinked, wondering what that question had to do with anything.

"Uh, twenty I think. Why?"

Just humor me. How old were you?

"Eighteen." Axel frowned. Something about that didn't sound quite right, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

How old is she now?

"Twenty-six." Axel shrugged and went back to his motor. Roxas was just asking him silly, meaningless questions. His hallucinations were really very strange.

And how old are you right now?

"Eighteen." Axel paused again, rubbing a finger against his head for a moment as the feeling of wrongness increased. But then it went away and he went back to his work. Roxas waited patiently for a long moment, then sighed.

Talk about blank with a capital B. Am I the only one who notes a certain inconsistency there?

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Axel thought he'd gotten the problem and decided to test the motor. It revved up nicely. Another repair job well done.

Well, yes, that would be the problem. Axel ignored Roxas as he started tidying things up. What's the first thing you remember, Axel? Please, can you try to think about it? This is really important. Axel sighed.

"Playing with a frog in the woods. What is your problem, Roxas?" Axel heard an irritated hiss in his mind.

Not just the words! Picture the moment. Can you really remember it Axel? Even vaguely, patchily? Or is it just words? Think Axel, you need to remember! Axel frowned as he paused, trying to really remember playing with the frog. Nothing came at all. Axel hesitated, then finally shrugged.

"I have a bad memory, Roxas." Roxas laughed at him, and Axel flushed. Of course his delusions thought his memory sucked. That was the point. "It doesn't mean anything that I can't remember, is what I meant."

It means a lot, Axel. Axel sighed and started getting his bag together. There wasn't really anything more to do, and he was starting to feel hungry. For a moment he thought about going home, but suddenly decided that he didn't really want to. Sora wouldn't be available anyway, and he'd read about a new bistro named Petite on the chowhound forums. He had a dog eared fantasy book in his bag, so he was fully prepared for a meal alone at a restaurant. It would be fun to write a review the next day too. Axel was no genius with creative writing, but he could get the point across.

Axel could almost feel Roxas thinking as he drove across town on his motorcycle. Finally, as he was waiting for a light to change, the voice in his mind spoke. You know, there might be proof.

"Proof of what? My insanity?" Axel whispered, keeping his attention on the road. Roxas snorted.

Proof that you're not eighteen. Where were you born, Axel? Axel hesitated a moment. He had to think about that question, but an answer popped up.

"Memorial General Hospital. Why?" Axel couldn't keep a hint of uneasiness out of his voice. He had a feeling Roxas was going somewhere with this and he didn't like it.

Find your birth certificate, Axel. Then we'll talk again. Axel blinked, trying to feel Roxas… but he couldn't. It felt like the other was gone, and he shivered. Why would that bother him, though? He should want the voice to be gone. It was a symptom of his delusions. Yet, somehow, losing Roxas didn't feel good at all. In fact, it was frightening.

Trying to shove aside the feeling, Axel parked his motorcycle and went into the restaurant. He was tempted to completely ignore Roxas command, but if he did he might never hear Roxas again. It shouldn't be too hard to find his birth certificate. A few calls and he would be there.

Axel was completely unaware of yellow eyes watching from an alleyway, but Roxas wasn't. The creature slipped up to the back entrance of the restaurant and began playing with the door, trying to find a way inside. Roxas observed it dispassionately for a moment. It wasn't strong or bright and it seemed terribly out of place. Roxas could almost feel sorry for it. Almost.

But it was still dangerous, and it screamed pathetically as a sword quickly bisected it. Then Roxas vanished. Even that brief moment of substance was a terrible drain on his resources and he fled back to the safety of Axel's burning aura. It was so frustrating, in a lot of ways. If only Axel had remembered, even a bit, he could have channeled some of that awesome power into Roxas and even made him real if he wanted to. But to do any of that he needed to remember. Maybe finding the birth certificate would remind him. Or rather, not finding it. Because it didn't exist.

Roxas could only hope.

Axel stared at the telephone. He'd gotten together all the information he was going to need to order a birth certificate, called in, and had immediately hit a huge roadblock.

"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you." Axel said to thin air, and Sora looked up from his schoolwork with a frown.

"Knew what was going to happen? Axel, what were you doing?" Axel sighed, hanging up the phone.

"Trying to get a copy of my birth certificate." Axel sighed, hanging up the phone. He'd been informed quite curtly that there was no record for Axel eighteen years ago at Memorial General Hospital. Sora looked a bit puzzled.

"Why?" Axel swallowed, looking at his lover. Sora was looking particularly endearing today, dressed in a yellow blazer and with a smudge of ink on one cheek that he hadn't noticed yet. He ran a hand through his red hair, trying to decide to go with the truth or if he should lie. Axel didn't like lying to Sora, but Sora really didn't like being reminded of his instability. Finally he decided to go with the truth.

"Roxas asked me to." Sora stiffened and Axel looked away, feeling suddenly alone. "He said he wouldn't talk to me again until I did and, well, I kind of like having him talk to me. He doesn't sound like me at all." It was like having a good friend in his head. Roxas was full of advice and always willing to give it. Although the advice wasn't always good. Axel smiled to himself as he remembered what Roxas had suggested he do to a particularly obnoxious customer. It had been an entertaining thought, but it would have gotten him arrested very quickly.

"…Is Dr. Zexion helping at all?" Sora asked, his heart in his eyes. He wanted Axel to be better, and this was bringing back bad memories of his uncle. Axel sighed.

"Honestly? No. But Roxas doesn't really seem dangerous, just weird. He keeps insisting that I have to remember." Sora didn't seem reassured. Understandable, since Axel wasn't very reassured either. "He's going to try putting me on meds soon to help." Axel wondered if it would help. Roxas didn't seem at all worried by the prospect. Speaking of which, where was Roxas? "Roxas? Are you there?" He'd tried to find the certificate. Shouldn't the other be speaking to him again?

Huh? Oh, sorry. Chem was keeping me busy. Roxas sounded distracted, and Axel lifted his eyebrows.

"The doll? She talks to you?" He glanced at the doll, who seemed to be grinning. Sora looked at uneasily. He could tell Axel was talking to Roxas now, but it never failed to creep him out.

She does a lot more than that, but you have to be in tune with the lower planes to really get a grip on what she's up to. She's really strange. It's a long story. Roxas wasn't sure how to explain it at all, so he didn't want to start. It was easier to let some things go. You couldn't find the certificate. Does that tell you anything?

"It tells me I misremembered the name of the hospital." Axel retorted, although he knew he was grasping at straws. There weren't many hospitals in his home town. Roxas sighed.

No you didn't. You just weren't born there.

"I had to have been born somewhere!" Axel hissed as Sora watched, worried. Roxas laughed hauntingly, and Axel stiffened as the voice in his mind began to sing.

The wind blows low and mournful
Through the Strath of Dalnacreich
Where once there lived a woman
Who would a mother be
For twelve long years a good man's wife
but ne'er the cradle filled
A mother of a changeling child from 'neath the fairy hill

She traveled to the standing stones
And crossed into the green
Where all the host of elven folk
were dancing there unseen
Through the night she bargained
with the Queen of fairies all
who sent her home at dawning with a babe beneath her shawl

How their home was joyful
with a son to call their own
But soon they saw the years that passed
would never make him grow
The fairies would not answer her
The stones were dark and slept
A babe was all she asked for, and their promises they'd kept

The wind blows low and mournful
Through the Strath of Dalnacreich
Where once there lived a woman
Who would a mother be
For fifty years she rocked that babe
it's said she rocks him still
A mother of a changeling child from 'neath the fairy hill.

That's you Axel. Roxas whispered in his mind as something began to stir in his mind like a great leviathan. It was huge and dark and frightening and Axel knew that if it broke the surface, nothing would ever be the same. Your parents wanted you but they didn't have you, no. You came into their lives to fill the need they felt for a child but you never age and you never change and someday, you'll fade out of their lives and they'll just vaguely remember that you were there. And that isn't a bad thing. It will be a good memory, a memory of life and light and all the good things you were to them. That's what you do. You'll do it to Sora too in the end. You've already done it to Larxene. Can't you see? You're always eighteen.

"NO!" Axel jumped to his feet as Sora started violently, dropping his pen. He pressed his hands over his ears, closing his eyes tightly as he thrust away that thing in his mind. "No, you're lying! I'm not always eighteen! My parents have always been my parents! This is crazy! Shut up Roxas, shut up!" Axel ran out of the room as Sora tried to follow, but Axel didn't notice him. He wasn't sure where he was going, what he was doing.

What seemed like a few moments later, he found himself on the roof, sobbing as he leaned against the railing. Sora ran up behind him, breathless, and put his arms around him, trying to comfort him.

"It's okay Axel, it's okay." Sora crooned softly as Axel shook his head, gripping the brunette tightly. He lifted his head, gazing out over the city for a moment and suddenly seeing something odd flashed across his vision. As if the city was abruptly surrounded by a haze of fuzzy light, and Axel felt that thing rising in his mind again. He gasped and buried his face in Sora's chest, waiting for it to vanish again. It was too much for him to bear.

Roxas watched sadly as Axel wept into Sora's shirt. He'd known this would happen, but there was nothing he could do, no matter how traumatic it became for Axel.

He needed to remember if he wanted to live.