Unintended – A Loss of Faith

~Chapter 18 – The Calm~

Emmett and Rose came back, and of course, immediately started doting all over Carlie. It was extremely comforting to know that they would be taking care of her for the first week that I had to be in school. It was good to know that I could be confident and trust her caregivers, which was definitely something I was worried about doing with strangers.

Carlisle's lawyer threat to the school had worked, and they allowed me back, but a part of me wished that they hadn't; I hated the idea of being gone all day. But I suppose it was for the best, I needed to graduate if I even had the hope of making a decent living for my family's future.

Surprisingly, on the last day before school was to begin, Bella came over and spent the entire day with Carlie. She was attentive and very loving to our daughter, and practically did every feeding and diaper change there was to do. It was odd, but it felt really good and made me think that perhaps I was overreacting when it came to her distant behavior before.

On top of Bella's eagerness to be around the baby, she was also unexpectedly energetic. She was peppy and friendly with everyone, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was outright bubbly. I didn't get it, but it was an amazing change so I wasn't going to question it. She was even joking around with me, which was nice.

"So, any more poop explosions?" she asked me with a smile.

"No. Thank god. I was just lucky to have Esme here to help me," I said honestly.

"I don't know Edward, she was perfect with me, maybe it's just you," she said teasingly.

"Well, I guess it's only fair; you had to do the whole birthing thing, so I'll take the poop," I said seriously, and then Bella started laughing, so I did too.

"I don't know, I think I still may have had it easier," she said in between her laughter.

It felt incredible to laugh and just be casually light with her, although, it did make me miss our time together even more. But it also further proved that what we had before was real; it wasn't just about sex and being physically connected. Our bond went beyond that, and I missed her like hell.

"Hey Edward, I found a possible car for you on Craig's List…do you want to go and check it out?" Carlisle asked that afternoon.

I looked at Bella, still being perfectly attentive to Carlie, and asked her "do you mind?"

She shook her head. "No, you should go. You could definitely use a car about now," she said with a smile.

"Yeah…I guess it's time to be responsible and all that shit," I said jokingly. "Will you still be here when I get back?"

"Yeah…Esme said I need to stay for dinner," she said with faux annoyance.

"Ok, I'll be back soon," I assured her before taking off with Carlisle. We drove out to Port Angeles where the car was located, but I nearly lost it when we got there.

It was a fucking minivan.

"Uh…no way in hell," I said bitterly.

"Edward, come on. It's a Volvo just like your old car."

"No, this is not just like my old car, this is a fucking minivan."

"It's a two year old XC60, and it's more like a car/SUV crossover. It has one of the highest safety ratings in crash tests out there, and in the harsh weather out here, this would be perfect," he said suggestively, and he knew he had me. The bastard was positive that I wouldn't argue with him over the issue of safety, and he was fucking playing me. If I'd be driving Carlie around, then I needed a safe car…I just didn't want that fucking car.

"Fine," I said irritated.

Carlisle paid the man, with my money of course, and then I drove it home as Carlisle drove his car. To be honest, it was kind of cool to drive. It was smooth and had a strong engine, so I suppose it could have been worse. Volvos were good cars; I just wished I was still driving my mother's instead.

When I pulled back into the Cullen's driveway behind Carlisle, everyone came out to see my new car, including Bella with Carlie in her arms.

"Whoa, I like this," Esme said approvingly.

"Hold on, let's check this out," Rose said as she popped open the hood to look at the engine.

"This baby has some power," Emmett said as he looked over Rose's shoulder.

"It's still a minivan," I mumbled.

"Hmmm," Bella said as she casually got into the back seat. "What do you think, did daddy get a good car?" she asked Carlie.

Seeing Bella and Carlie in the back seat made it all worth it. It made the whole 'family car' thing seem so much more appealing as I imagined the three of us going places together. We could take Carlie to the park or even the beach, and have enough room to put all the baby stuff inside….Yeah, I was seriously pathetic.

"Do you like it?" I asked Bella when everyone else went back inside.

"Are you kidding? I think it's awesome," she said enthusiastically.

"You know, we should really get you a new car too. Maybe you should drive this one, and then…"

"No. Edward, stop trying to control everything," she said bitterly while quickly getting out of the car.

"What? I just think you need a safer car," I said defensively.

"There is nothing wrong with my car. I admit, that truck was unreliable, but what I drive now is fine."

Since Bella's truck broke down several months before, she picked up a cheap Tempo, which I thought was hideously appalling. But she wouldn't even consider me buying her a new car, and I knew that, but I thought I'd try it anyway.

Despite Bella's irritation with me, she stayed through dinner, laughed and joked around with everyone, and waited until Carlie went to sleep before kissing her and leaving. She was going to bring her back home with her, but we both figured it made more sense to leave her with me since Emmett and Rose would be watching her the next day.

And I was surprised once again when Bella showed up the next morning to kiss Carlie before school. It was going to be strange being back at school after the entire world had changed in the way that it had, but I was glad we'd have each other to get through it…at least I hoped we would.

Bella and I kissed our daughter goodbye, and then we each took our own cars to school. I would have offered her a ride, but I really didn't want a fight right then. But as I pulled into the Forks high parking lot, I remembered just how much I fucking hated that place. Even with the world changing since Carlie's birth, I soon realized that didn't pertain to that fucking hell school.

I ignored everyone as I walked through the halls in between classes, and during break, I did the 'dad' thing and went to my car to call Emmett.

"How is she?" I asked overly paranoid.

"She's perfect, man. Nothing to worry about," Emmett assured me. "Oh, hold on, Bella is on the other line," he said with a laugh before clicking over to talk to her…at least Bella was giving a shit. I glanced over towards Bella's car, and saw her in there talking on the phone, and I couldn't help but to smile a bit. We were both pathetic.

"Ok man, she's cool, I swear," Emmett said to me after a minute.

"Alright, thanks," I said before hanging up. Bella had already started walking back into campus, so I rushed to catch up to her.

"Fancy meeting you here," I joked as I walked casually beside her.

"Emmett said he was talking to you," she said with a smirk.

I shrugged. "It's weird how a baby can change a guy."

She nodded. "I'm really impressed with you Edward. You really seem to be all about Carlie."

"I am…but I think that even the biggest prick in the fucking world could be softened by her," I said with a grin. "Has anyone given you any shit yet?" I asked protectively.

"No, I've pretty much kept my head down. I'm sure people are talking, but…I just really don't care."

"Yeah…none of this shit seems to matter anymore," I agreed. "But I am hungry. Do you want to go to the cafeteria with me and get some lunch?"

She bit her lip, and then reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, I guess I should eat too."

After waiting in the lunch line, we went and sat at our old table. Our combined group of friends was still there, and they welcomed us back in the group without any issues…but it all seemed like irritating mindless chatter, and it was actually giving me a migraine.

None of them asked about our baby, not that I expected them to or anything. Garrett had stopped by a couple times to see her during vacation, and of course Angela knew her, but no one else gave two shits; although, if I had known someone with a kid before, I wouldn't have cared either.

I hated every minute of school and all I wanted to do was go home, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I glanced at Bella who was sitting next to me, and she looked back with an expression that matched my own. We were both done pretending to be kids, and it was definitely getting to us.

"Hey Masen," Laurence said as he walked past our group. "I see the Mrs. has lost a few pounds over the break," he said rudely. "How is fucking now, by the way? I bet it sucks since she's all stretched from shitting out your disgusting kid."

My hands clinched my napkin tightly, and I struggled to remember the reason why I couldn't kick his ass right then and there. I was allowed back at the school, but if I got into one more fucking fight, I'd be out permanently, which I couldn't let happen….I couldn't let happen…I couldn't let happen… Except, one more word from that son of a bitch, and I knew I would lose all control.

"Hey Bella, if Edward's dick isn't big enough to get your needs met with your new cunt size, then just let me know, and I'll take care of it for you," Laurence said to Bella…and there was no way I was going to sit by and take that shit.

I could feel it coming. The anger. It was consuming me, and I was about to lose to it in five, four, three, two….and then like a lifeline thrown to a drowning victim, Bella gently placed her hand on my thigh, and a wave of calm washed over me. Just her simple touch was all I needed to rediscover my priorities. I didn't give a shit about Laurence, and years from now, he'd probably be nothing more than a homeless dude begging for money on a corner somewhere. Whereas I was going to be a college graduate complete with a career and a family. It was my goal, and I refused to let that motherfucker get in my way.

"Actually Laurence," Bella said suddenly. "I know a couple girls who have seen your dick, and they assure me, it's nothing you should be bragging about. Have you ever even fucked the same chick twice?"

"No…that's not how I roll. I get bored easily," he said, unsure why she asked, and bitter over the beginning of her comment.

"Well that's just what you tell yourself. In reality, no chick would ever want to fuck you for a second time because you suck at it, and your dick is practically nonexistent," Bella said casually.

"And how the fuck would you know? Obviously if chicks are talking about me, then I left a lasting impression," he said defensively.

"Oh, you left a lasting impression all right…a negative one. Girls don't gossip for the hell of it Laurence, they basically just look out for each other so their friends don't make the same mistakes they did. You are disgusting, and all the chicks here know it….and by the way, Edward won your fucking bet. He fucked me…LONG before that spring dance…. So, give him his fucking car back!" Bella said strongly.

There were a lot of OOOOs from people around us, but I was fucking speechless. I had no idea she was capable of speaking like that…but it was fucking hot as hell.

"Really Masen, you're seriously going to let your chick fight your battles for you?" Laurence asked me.

I shrugged. "Well it's not hard when I know she's tougher than the opponent," I said cockily.

"There's no proof he won the bet, in fact, he probably told you to say that shit," Laurence said feebly.

"I got pregnant the day before that dance, so if you want, we can get technical with all this shit…besides, it really doesn't matter anyway. Edward still has the ownership papers which means, if you don't give it back to him, he can call the police and report it stolen…you seriously don't want that kind of trouble, do you?" she asked him in a sickly sweet tone. God she was fucking killing me, and the worst part was knowing she still wasn't going to let me touch her afterwards.

Laurence stepped forward so he could speak quietly to me. "I'd watch your fucking back Masen, you might just get a bullet in your ass."

"In the ass? No, only you take things in the ass," I said with a smug laugh.

The guy looked like he wanted to kill me, but he settled for walking away. Bella had just publically handed him his dick on a chopping block, and he ran away like the little bitch that he was. Fucking pussy.

"Whoa Bella, nice," one of her friends said. I really had no idea how to respond to her after that, I suppose I should have thanked her or something, but it was awkward, especially since her girlfriends had all surrounded her to basically pat her on the back.

The thing was, that wasn't Bella's first trip into being a badass, she had stood up for herself and even me in the past, but she never did it for selfish reasons like most people did. She didn't care about moving up the social ladder, but with those few comments, it seemed like that's exactly where she was heading. Even Caius and his ridiculous lackeys came up to rub elbows with Bella before that lunch period was over. She was uninterested in the entire thing, but she was always nice and talked to people whenever they initiated the conversation.

When school ended that day, I went out to the parking lot, and was shocked to see Bella already there, warding off her throng of admirers. But besides the small crowed, like a beacon from heaven….was my mother's Volvo.

My stomach actually did flips as I saw it there; the woman I unrequitedly loved, standing next to my first love…my car. I swear, if Carlie would have been there, I probably would have broken down and started bawling right there in front of everyone. The three most important women in my life together would have been unbearable…yes, the car meant that much to me.

"Oh my god," I said breathlessly as I looked through the window, and then surveyed the exterior for any damages.

"The keys are sitting on the seat," Bella pointed out.

"Oh man," I said excitedly as I opened the front door and grabbed the keys….I may have even kissed them, but I was just too thrilled to care. In fact, I was so thrilled that I walked right over to Bella, and kissed her on her lips as well. She looked at me a little stunned when I finally released her, but her face didn't give away anything about how she was feeling.

"We should get to Carlie," she said quietly after an uncomfortable moment.

Bella agreed to drive my new Volvo minivan SUV thing home, so I could drive my mom's car. Her tempo was practically worthless compared to my cars anyway, and it wouldn't hurt to leave it there for awhile.

My car drove like a fucking dream…but it was out of gas with practically no oil, the tires were low, and the entire interior smelled like fucking pot; other than that, it was perfect. Now that I had my real car back however, I needed to come up with a plan to get Bella to take over driving my other Volvo. It was actually the perfect car for her, and I refused to give up on the subject. So I did the only thing I could think of…sabotage.

Yeah, Bella would be pissed if she found out, but I was willing to risk it.

I need U to subtly kill Bella's Tempo – E – I texted Garrett on my way home.

Seriously? – G

Yep – E

Uh… ? – G

Just do it –E I realized that it was pretty rude of me, so I added a –Please- afterwards.

OK . Do U want a slow death, or an immediate kill? – G

I thought about it for a moment, and realized it may be too obvious if the car suddenly stopped working, so I replied with Slow - E

U got it – G

Garrett worked at a garage off and on, so I had faith in his automobile hit-man capabilities. I knew he wouldn't mess with her breaks, or do anything dangerous that would cause her to crash; he would somehow make it so the car would just not restart one day. Bella would have to drive my car after that, she wouldn't have any other choice.

When we pulled up at the Cullen's house, Emmett and Rose came outside, and every thought of my car disappeared because Rose was holding my baby girl, and that's all I cared about at the moment. But as much as I wanted to hold her, I mostly wanted to see Bella holding her first, so I held back and waited.

"Whoa man, how the hell did you pull this off?" Emmett asked me as he looked over my car.

"I didn't do anything, it was all Bella," I said with a smile as I watched Bella cooing and kissing all over Carlie.

"Man, it smells like shit," he commented as he looked inside.

After Rose gave Carlie to Bella, she came over to check out the car as well.

"Wow, that idiot really screwed with this thing," Rose said while looking in the engine.

"Can you fix it up for him?" Emmett asked her.

"Yeah, she just needs a little TLC," Rose said while pulling out the dipstick. "Ok, maybe a lot of TLC."

I went over and kissed Carlie's head, but she was already sleeping in Bella's arms, so I thought it was best not to disturb her too much.

"It's cold out here, can I take her inside?" Bella asked me, which kind of pissed me off. She knew she never had to ask that kind of shit, but it almost felt like she did it to just further stress the fact that we weren't a couple and it wasn't her house. Fucking bi…. – but I let that thought trail off, because none of it mattered and I needed to stop calling Bella a bitch when I got mad at her….even if it was just in my mind.

Esme, Carlisle, and Alice all came home a little while later, and Bella stayed through dinner, but then she seemed anxious to leave. It was her turn with Carlie at night, so she packed up her stuff, and took her home with her in my Volvo minivan. I had insisted she take it; I told her that she could bring it back in the morning to drop Carlie off, and then catch a ride to school with me the next day. It didn't make sense to go back for her car right then; besides, my minivan thing already had the car seat set up and all that.

But being home without Carlie to take care of, was actually nerve racking. I had no idea what to do with my time, and I didn't even have much homework to busy myself with. I tried listening to music, but that didn't work, so I tried reading, but that sucked as well. In fact, it had been years since I was that fucking bored. Before the world changed, I would have gone out with my friends and gotten high during slow times…it was a coping mechanism so I wouldn't have the opportunity to think about my sister. But I couldn't do that shit anymore, I had to be responsible….so, of course, Bree began invading my mind.

But to my surprise, my thoughts of my sister weren't negative ones. I didn't think about the horrible night she was taken from me, I just thought about the times when she was happy, the games we used to play, and I was actually excited to try them with Carlie when she got older. Perhaps there was a reason for everything, perhaps I needed Carlie in my life to truly heal from losing my sister, and for the first time since I was twelve years old, I felt a sense of optimistic faith.

The week went off fairly well. Bella and I spent our breaks at school together with our group of friends, and then we'd hang out for awhile with Carlie after school before Bella took her home for the evening. By Wednesday, Bella's car wonderfully took a crap, and she grudgingly agreed to drive my spare. I simply told her it was Carlie's car, and we could switch back and forth between the two Volvos according to whoever had her. Bella was shocked that I'd allow her to drive my mother's car during my turns with Carlie, but I reminded her that she was always the only one who I'd allow to do that.

It felt good sharing cars with Bella, and even though she stubbornly said she was going to save up money for a new car of her own, it did add another level to the 'family' thing I so desperately wanted with her. We definitely weren't romantically involved, but I could honestly say that we were on our way to becoming true friends and partners. Bella was the one person, other than Carlie, who I would doubtlessly have a lifetime relationship with. Even after Carlie was an adult with a family of her own, Bella and I would always be around each other, because through Carlie, we shared a family. Even if we hated each other, that was something that would never change, so it was just easier for everyone for us to just get along the best as possible.

But all that pleasant coexistence was during the first week back at school, and as the second slowly started rolling around, I had a sinking feeling that things would change. Like my first few nights with Carlie, taking the peace for granted was never a good idea, and it definitely felt like the calm before the storm.

****Anyone else still confused as hell about Bella's behavior? More will be explained next….

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