Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favs again, you can't imagine how much it means to me.

And now I hope you all enjoy the new chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own the SOA-characters or the story. I only own my OC.

8 years earlier...

The water was pattering down onto his tired body and made Happy forget about the exhaustive shit he'd done during the day. Although it was pretty impossible to forget about this kinda stuff, a good, long shower was helping to at least bury the memories somewhere deep in his fucked up mind. Deep enough, so that they usually never made an appearance again.

Not that he was known for having any second thoughts about his own deeds, or for having a conscience. Though it was better for it to rot away somewhere deep in his mind, so it would never come up again, causing doubts or trouble.

Some people called him sick, others disturbed. Again many just called him psycho, but for the most he was just known as Killer. It was simple, if not to say moronic, but it got unmistakably straight to the point.

Most people kept their distance anyway. Obviously there was some sort of a protective mechanism that told them it wasn't the best idea to get in contact with him. Happy didn't give a shit though. He wasn't much of a nice guy. He neither tended to be sweet, nor did he feel the need to get himself a lot of friends; not outside the club. The guys loved him for what he was and that was enough. He had the Sons, he didn't need anyone else.

But there was Lucy. Or Luna. Or Lulu. He'd forgotten her name as soon as she'd told him. It wasn't anything special. Just like the whole damn girl wasn't anything special. She was pretty, somehow. She was slender, had a nice pair of tits and a good ass. Anything else wasn't interesting to him. It wasn't like he planned to fuck her a second time. Hell, he didn't even want to talk to her a second time — actually, he didn't want to talk to her at all.

However, the girl, let's call her Lu, obviously didn't have any sort of protective mechanism. She'd thrown herself at him when he'd barely left the chapel.

She went home with him. Without wasting a second thought, she get on his bike and drove off with him, as if she'd hit the jackpot. This kind of honor wasn't given to many of them..

She probably was already dreaming about their wedding, where he would walk her down the aisle, making her his Old Lady.

But that wasn't what he'd planned to happen. He fucked them and kicked them out. If he was at their place, he took off as soon as he was done. Sometimes he would spend some nice time with them afterwards. But that was it.

Lu for sure wasn't about to change that. She was a simple minded girl, still a bit green. She was in her mid-twenties and an idiot. She was just like all of them; usable and fun. They were part of the life like the Harleys and the whiskey. But also like a useless bike or empty bottle, they also were replaceable — nothing special.

He snatched a towel from the rack at the wall and wrapped it around his hip. One look in the mirror told him, there nothing had changed. He looked like he did in the morning; beside that little scar above his eyebrow — that son of a bitch had some fun, confidently hitting his head. After that, Happy had some fun too — with a pretty knife and that fucker's throat.

The only existing evidence for that diversion laid beside him on the floor. There was a little bloodstain that made its way to his wife beater.

He snatched his shirt up, along with a lighter from the little cupboard to his left and made the little red spot disappear. Only then did he throw it into the garbage can and let the lid slam shut with a loud bang.

In the bedroom he pulled some random sweatpants over some random boxer-shorts and chose some random wifebeater to slide it down his torso. He didn't feel the need to dress up properly. He didn't need to. Those girls threw themselves at his feet. He barely set a foot into the clubhouse and they treated him as if he was the holy Messiah, although he wasn't giving them the honor to be treated just as royalty. It was just ridiculous and bleak, if not to say boring.

Finally he grabbed the condoms and made his way into the living room.

Lu sat on the couch and looked at him coyly. She was chewing her bottom lip shyly and obviously didn't know what else to do.

He wasn't surprised though. There wasn't any precedence those girls could've talked about. She was the first one that made it here and he was sure, she was the last.

Weaponed with whisky and smokes he took a seat next to her and gave her a nice fake-smile. She seemed to be a little nervous, so maybe it kicked in now, that protective mechanism.

Or it didn't.

"C'mere." He said raspy and low, letting a little of the burning liquid running down his throat.

And Lu came closer, although she was sticking her hand between her legs which were pressed together tightly. What the fuck was her problem? If she was shy, then what the fuck was she doing at the clubhouse in the first place?

"I…I really like you." She said quietly and he felt the need to throw up immediately. She didn't know who he was. She just knew he was drinking too much on Friday nights and fucked too many groupies. She didn't know the slightest thing about who he was or what he was able to do. He was an asshole, most of the time and that was on purpose. He barely had a nice looks for those girls. But obviously it was exactly that dangerous one, which turned them on. Though, what the fuck did she like about him?

Inevitably he began to damn himself, while he couldn't help the question, what made him bring her here in the first place? But the answer wasn't hard to find. Samantha had prepared and cleaned up all the dorms for the expected visitors and she didn't want anyone to destroy her hard work. So out of fear she would rip off his balls, he regarded her wish and took Lu home with him, without thinking about it too much at all.

"Just one night, you know that, right?" He asked. Because he absolutely hated to give girls hope for something that wasn't there. They had to know what they were looking forward too. The chance was too big that they stuck to his ass afterwards if they didn't.

Lu nodded once, but her eyes were telling a different story. He would fuck her anyway. She would be enthralled and tell her friends about it. Then they would whisper and giggle and feast on the memory that weren't theirs.

He offered her something to drink which she declined with a thanks. She probably didn't like whisky or beer. But he didn't have any champagne or anything other girly-like in the house.

Though he really wished that she would take a drink. As stiff as she was in that moment, he could've begotten his damn mattress and wouldn't have felt the difference.

Placing one hand at the back of her neck he pulled her forward and kissed her. Usually he wasn't much of a kisser, but maybe it was doing the trick and ease the tension a little. Not unsuccessful, since the stiff board began to move a little.

From there it didn't take long until her head was his lap, the tip of his cock meeting the back of her throat. She choked and he grunted. He loved when they choked. It gave him this odd feeling of power. So he put pressure to the back of her head one more time before he let go of her.

She coughed when he pulled her back by her hair before she breathed heavily, gasping for air.

But then, she destroyed everything as she licked away the saliva that was caused by his actions and was now dripping from her lower lip before she swallowed it down eagerly, spoiling his mood.

She probably had never heard that sex wasn't some sweet fucked up cuddle-thing. It was dirty. It was brash, rough and vulgar, and one hell of a mess. And that was what it was supposed to be. At least if it was meant to please him. Because he was the epitome of primitive and kinky profanity. At least that's what Gina had told him. The only one that was brave enough to do that.

Lu wasn't like that. Lu was shy and looked forward to some sweet fucking cuddle-sex. She was so ordinary — really nothing fucking special.

And again there was the question: what was she doing with the Sons? But the more important question was: what was she doing with him? Although she may not knew how it looked at his place, she at least had heard from the girls what to expect, didn't she?

But the answer to that question was one he wasn't about to get…

…because the front-door sprung open and a blonde surfer stood in the threshold, looking at him keenly, watching the picture in front of him.

He was a good roommate. Tidy and trustworthy, as much as good company at otherwise boring nights. But in this moment Happy wanted to grab his throat and choke him.

However, he pulled Lu's head out of his lap completely and tried to cover what was there to be covered, while he looked questioning into his brother's eyes. Not that he was ashamed, but at one point of his life — no matter what other people thought — he did get some sense of modesty.

Kozik took a few seconds to calm down before he looked at the scene skeptically. She seemed to be sweet, you didn't expect that on her forehead you would find the words Happy's prey. She wasn't his kind of girl — way too cute, way too decent. Next to him she looked like she got lost somewhere. As if she was some innocent angel that ran into the devil's arms by accident after she was kicked out of heaven. But Happy didn't go for innocence. His brother was all about sin; tons of never ending sin. That blonde, cute thing definitely looked out of place.

The blonde Son threw his cut on top of the backrest of the second couch and sat down. After a lot of hard days he was exhausted. So he lit a smoke and took a long drag before blowing a thick cloud towards the ceiling.

He was annoying and Happy wanted to shackle, gag him and throw him into the closet.

It was masterful how his brother was able to destroy a situation that already was just half-pleasant to him.

He grumbled irritated and pushed Lu a little more off of him.

Why did he move in with him again? Oh yeah, that lovely money. The condition of his mother was taking the biggest of his savings and was eating up his health insurance. It also was nagging at his nerves without mercy and Kozik was the little gnawer chewing slowly with relish.

He loved his brother, for sure he did. But here and there he felt the heavy urge to drag him down the stairs and lock him into the non-existing basement. He could give Lu a lift down there too — after all, he already was flirting with her.

Happy barely was done with pushing Lu to the side when suddenly another figure appeared in the doorway of the still open door. So Kozik wasn't just letting insome fresh air. That would've been ridiculous anyway; in the end they at least had some windows. But when it came to him, Happy never was sure Kozik didn't forget about knick-knacks like that.

The surfer had a shit-eating grin on his face and winked her in. They obviously had a visitor.

Lu looked up at her kinda scared, while deep blue eyes were glancing down at her; in a critical sort of way, showing off some sneering arrogance. Not even twenty-one and she already stared the sweetbutt down like a pro. Happy was sure, one day, she would be one hell of an Old Lady. She was born to be the King's Queen.

By that time, all that was found in Lu's eyes was some dismay, together with a little jarred self-confidence. But she didn't say anything. She wouldn't do that. No little bunny was dumb enough to provoke a lioness.

Meanwhile Happy looked up at the newcomer with a cocked brow. Because no matter how dangerous for a little bunny, she still was just the baby-lion and he was the grown predator that knew, no matter how hard she tried to compete with him in all her cute baby-lion-manner, in the end it was the seasoned predator who always won.

"You better go." Kozik said, looking at Lu. He still was flirting with her and pointed towards the front door before he blinked with one eye auspiciously.

Lu nodded and gave him a little smile. She obviously really liked him too. But Happy didn't allow her to break his heart and just rolled his eyes, as she started to get dressed again. She then took her bag and stormed out of the apartment in one hell of a speed while Kozik stood up to leave them alone.

"You need to stop him, Happy, not tell him moving is the right fucking thing…it's not!"

Of course it was that, what else than Tig's plan to move down the west-coast could it have been?

"It is…he wants to be with his girls. That's a good thing, Alex."

"And what about me? I don't want to go there…I hate Cali and what am I supposed to do? Give up my life so that my brother can be happy with kids he'd seen...what? Twice a year until now?"

Struggling with his belt, Happy tried to cover himself neatly. She didn't need to know how he looked downstairs. Even though she already knew, because she had no problem walking into the bathroom uninvited while he was completely naked.

But still.

"You don't have to go anywhere…you stay at the house, I'll keep an eye on you and everything is fine."

"Yeah…Tig will be absolutely thrilled, considering that he didn't even want me to move out while he lived in the same city."

"He's good with that…already talked with him."

There was a long pause and she once again tried to stare him down. But he wasn't a groupie, he wasn't a bunny, so whatever she tried was in vain.

Finally she sighed deeply, then slumped down next to him, obviously not giving a shit that she'd destroyed whatever little bit of pleasure he was looking forward to this night.

"So, after cock-blocking me…you gonna tell me what happened to your nose?" There was a ring in her nose, in her septum to be exact, making her easily mistaken for a bull. But it somehow was fitting that strange style she'd found for herself around two years ago. On the other hand, it could be a good thing to hook a leash on.

The next thing he would make her explain were those way too short, high-waisted shorts she was wearing. What was she thinking, goddamnit? She wasn't a whore and she wasn't a groupie and for fuck's sake. She would never be any of that. Why did her brother ever allow her to leave the house like that?

Alexis did care a lot about her physical appearance. Happy couldn't remember one day throughout the last ten years when she hadn't taken a look into the mirror at least once before she left the house. Just to make sure she didn't look messy. Usually the look turned into at least five minutes, where she made sure her makeup was on point; where she gave her hair the final touch and adjusted her outfit. It was probably something that came with her job. A good appearance wasn't a bad thing, considering it was the first thing that got the clients attention.

Though Alex did a lot more than she actually had to, since she'd fallen in love with the rockabillies when she was eighteen.

The look was something strange though. A combination of innocence and cuteness with pure sexiness and sin, achieved by the use of blow-drys and polkadots.

Well, there were other things about it. Like bright red lipsticks and pumps whose heels were high enough to reach the universe. Old fashioned stockings and curve accentuating clothes that were pointing out all those body-parts that begged to be shown, mostly without showing them at all. Her long legs and smooth thighs, which actually looked like thighs and not like those rawboned stilts he was surrounded by in the clubhouse. An ass, that had gotten this perfect round shape throughout the years, now causing the most painful urges to just grab it. Curvy hips, a flat and defined stomach, framed from a small waist that led to a marvelous rack, which was giving her one pretty hot cleavage.

All those parts Happy craved to explore, with his eyes, his hands, his lips, his tongue, his...Jesus!

It was a strange look but Happy liked it, and he probably wasn't the only one. In the end, there had to be a reason for Betty Page being such a highly coveted woman back in the day.

Though, Happy still hadn't discovered how she managed to look just classy and sexy, instead of slutty, considering there were some days when she loved to show more skin than the sweetbutts did.

Most of the time Alex kept it subtle though. Discreet clothes like skinny jeans and simple shirts, tops or blouses, along a pretty belt and some matching pumps or chucks, so that it was just hair and makeup revealing some extravagance.

But sometimes — sometimes she did dress up from head to toes. Usually for one of those photo-shoots she used to do just for fun, because she absolutely loved it. On those days, she absolutely killed it and Happy threatened to die a bitter death by huge blood-loss. Caused by an explosion after every ounce of blood shot down into his crotch in no-time.

Disappearing into the dressing or bathroom for way too long, she then used to come out again, looking like a pin up that came straight out of the 50's.

It were those days he literally craved the opportunity to just grab and fuck her right at the spot, no matter where it was. Like in the bed, on the dining-table, the kitchen counter, the couch, the porch, the washer, or on the backseat of her beautiful 1950 De Ville. Behind the garden shed of her brother's house, the basement at Lee's, a storage room of the club, or against an appalling large trunk in a little piece of forest at the side of the highway a little outside of Fircrest.

Now, with all the love for clothes and style, Alex did have a huge space problem. Her closet started bursting at the seams years ago, which forced her to pick out the pieces she used to wear only once or twice a year and put them into boxes, so that she could store them in the attic. But, when a big event came up, she used to climb up the ladder and get something special and he wasn't surprised when she did exactly that the day before their take off to Charming. What he hadn't expected was to find her in the bedroom, all the boxes surrounding her, while whatever used to be in there seemed to be spread out across her bed. By the time he arrived, he found one hell of a mess and she stood in front of the bed, staring down onto the endless selection of clothes while grabbing her hair angrily and letting out a frustrated groan.

"Is this where you're gonna tell me you've got nothing to wear while you actually own enough to open up a fucking store?" He said, smirking in amusement and her eyes snapped at him, shooting him a look that could kill before she moved to stare at the piles of clothes again.

Actually, Alex didn't belong in the same category as those kind of girls. She wasn't complaining about missing outfits and she never needed a party as an excuse to get a new one. She just bought them when she felt like it, and like that she always had something to wear for just about every fucking occasion..

"I'm too fat." She stated simply, placing her index-finger in front of her pursed lips in a thinking kinda way and his eyes widened. Because she wasn't only not complaining about the loss of clothes, he also never heard her say something stupid like that. Probably because she knew that she was far away from being fat. Though, she really seemed to be pretty distressed, what he didn't understand why, but in the end she still was a woman, right? And with him being a man, he didn't have to understand her all the time. Human nature didn't expect that from him. But, he still felt the urge to say something to her bullshit statement, he just couldn't help it.

"You're not fat, Alex."

The second he spoke, she spun around and shot him another dangerous look, paired with a cocked brow.

"I didn't say I'm fat, I said I'm too fat…for this…nothing is fitting anymore." She said, slumping down onto the mattress with a capitulating sigh.

"So yes, now I'm gonna tell you I've nothing to wear! Not unless I'm losing some weight until the party. What, let's be serious, is not gonna happen!" She added angrily, grabbing her barely existing muffin top to squeeze it roughly and he couldn't help the chuckle coming out of him. This was ridiculous.

Though, he now was getting her problem, but he couldn't say he really was surprised. She was eating like a pig lately — her words, not his — and she definitely was too fucking lazy for regular workout. It had to happen one day, he just hadn't thought about it yet nor had he realized that she'd actually gained any goddamn weight. But with clothes that were fitting like a glove, there probably wasn't much needed to make them useless.

However, Alex seemed to be pretty angry or sad or whatever a girl was feeling in this kinda moments, although she wasn't one to be called an ordinary girl. Yet, Happy still didn't know what to do or say while he felt the heavy urge to just disappear. He was sure this was a conversation she was supposed to have with a best friend that was owning a pussy or tits…even better, both. But with neither Samy nor Nessi around, he seemed to be the one having it with her…but that didn't make it better…or make him feel any less uncomfortable…or give him any goddamn idea what to say. This wasn't his fucking territory, it definitely wasn't.

It was something he'd tried to avoid in whatever damn relationship he was in. Usually when he was around a girl that was whining about her figure, all he got when he looked at her naked body was a rock hard boner. He wasn't able to understand them and loved that Alex never did that, not yet at least, but there had to be a first time for everything, right?

"Just wear this…looks good." He said by the loss of something better, letting out a sigh, still not able to wrap his head around her problem. Not that he was a person that didn't give a fuck about his appearance. There was a reason why he used that razor regularly and it damn sure wasn't health consciousness and need to keep up his strength that made him workout steadily on those abs and biceps. But…he also wasn't doing it because a fucking shirt wasn't fitting. Then again it would've taken a lot of weight to make them not fit anymore.

"Queen Bee and her porn-star bitch will use whatever they can find to piss me off…so I'm not showing up at my brother's 40th birthday like this." She said, pointing along her shirt and skinny-jeans.

"It's just clothes, Alex."

"Yeah…and yet, she'll use it. She's searching like a fucking hawk to get anything to piss me off. She did that before, Happy."

There had been times Happy did regret the decision he made when Tig moved down to California. Times he regretted giving her the opportunity to stay. A lot of shit had happened to her because he wasn't as good at keeping an eye on her as he thought he would be. Shit he blamed on himself for years. Shit her brother blamed him for just as much. They had fought about it for months and the only reason they'd stopped was her screaming and yelling at them, telling them she couldn't stand when the two most important men in her live were fighting...about her. So they'd stopped and finally the guilt and blame slowly vanished. Partly because she told them it wasn't Happy's fault, it wasn't Tig's fault, it was just her, because she'd been dumb enough to be such a naive and stupid girl.

And in situations like that, whatever guilt was still left in him was gone, because in those moments he knew, if Tig would've taken her with him, she wouldn't have become the person she was today. Because she would've come back just days later, not that close to him and angry at her brother, and that would've led her in even worse shit than she'd already been in.

And whatever funny shit was there that made him laugh was gone when he saw the serious and distraught expression on her face now. He sort of got her point. It wasn't just about clothes. It was about the big picture. The whole big Alex and Gemma picture, created by an artist that still didn't know in which direction he wanted to go.

Happy made his way over to her and pushed some clothes aside before sitting down next to her. When she didn't react and went on with staring at the opposite wall, he placed his index-finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Doesn't fit you." He then said with a calm voice, allowing his thumb to caress her cheek gently.

"What?"

"Self-consciousness!"

"I'm not self-conscious…I just…I don't want them to piss me off, because if they do I know I'll just lose it. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want to ruin this and I don't want Tig to leave Charming. It's a pretty shitty town, but he loves it there." She said with a strange sort of anger in her voice and suddenly Happy didn't know if it was the right thing to tell her what Tig had said. But she would've known about that anyway, they didn't have secrets, they never had.

"I'm gonna be there too…I'll just put a leash around your neck and hold you back." He said smirking, getting a raised brow in response. But it fell again, a dirty grin coming to her lips, before she disappeared out of his sight, her lips suddenly dangerously close to his ear.

"If you ever put a leash around my neck, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of things you gonna do with it, but holding me back isn't one of them," she replied with a lascivious voice, causing a rumble deep down his throat.

"You're a dirty girl, Alexis Trager." He replied, taking the chance to be just as close to her neck, where he felt goosebumps rising when he spoke.

"You've no idea."

"I think I do."

"Yeah?…You gonna stay here?"

"Why? Wanna show me?"

Suddenly she pulled away, eliciting slight disappointment in him.

"Actually I need to sleep in the spare-room."

"You never sleep there."

"Unless my bed is full of useless clothes I'm too lazy to put away again."

Happy knew it was an excuse the second she called herself too lazy. Alex was a lot of things, but lazy wasn't one of them. Especially not when it came to cleaning up whatever mess she'd caused. Actually, she was just as much of a neat-freak as he was. It probably was just what happened to you when you grew up surrounded by nothing but disorder and chaos.

However, Happy was sure, leaving that mess behind would disrupt every second of sleep she tried to find during the night.

"What about we put that all away together and I'll just sleep here?" So he let her know that he'd seen through her, without actually calling her out on it, causing a little smile coming to her lips in an instant.

"Did you eat?" She then asked, changing the topic in a less skillful way, but he nodded anyway.

"Good…didn't find the time to cook."

Taking a red dress from beneath her she let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head slightly in disbelief.

"You gonna take me to workout?" And he chuckled.

"You're still one pretty hot bitch…you don't need workout."

"Guessing if I don't want to throw all of this away, I do." She retorted and the imagination of her at his side on a run or at the gym made him smirk widely in anticipation. This was gonna be fun, considering her stamina was pretty much non-existent.

"Did you just call me bitch?" And the smirk turned into nothing but a stupid grin, before she pinched his side multiple times, causing him to bark out a loud laughter.

"What about Queen Bee and her porn-star friend?" He finally asked and she shrugged.

"I'll just try and trust your ability to hold my leash."

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