CHAPTER FOUR
I went to see Carlisle Cullen on Sunday afternoon. Saturday night we had band rehearsal which went on until three or four in the morning, after which I slept through until lunch time. By the time I woke I was starving, irritable and all I could think about was Jasper. I showered, made coffee and dug out whatever Embry had left in the refrigerator, which wasn't a whole hell of a lot. I scrambled eggs, made a pile of grilled cheese, topped the whole lot with beans and shovelled it down my neck. I left the house at three and drove over to the Cullens', hoping I wasn't going to get a welcoming committee from the whole family.
Bella opened the door when I rang the bell and my heart sank immediately.
"Hey, Jake." She gave me a small wary smile.
"Hey."
"It's a while since we saw you."
"Yeah." Damnit, I couldn't think of a thing to say to her and I hated smalltalk. "Is Carlisle in?"
"Yes, he's playing chess with Edward."
"Chess? Rivetting," I grunted.
"Would you like to come in?" Bella asked stiffly.
"Thanks."
She stepped back to let me pass and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. She gave me the creeps. Strange because I couldn't wait to get my hands on Jasper, but the rest of them still turned my stomach.
"They're in the rear parlour," Bella told me.
"Parlour? Jesus." I supposed she had picked up on the rest of the family's odd century-old language. I walked away from her and made my way through the house to the room she indicated.
"Check mate!" I heard Edward announce as I pushed the partly open door wider.
"Damn you, Edward," Carlisle laughed. Both their heads turned towards me a second later.
"Jacob." Edward gave me a curt nod. I nodded back and then looked at Carlisle.
"Sorry for the intrusion."
"No problem." Carlisle got to his feet, smiling. "What can I do for you?"
"Excuse me." Edward disappeared quickly as I headed into the room and I pushed the door closed after him, wondering if there was any point. He could read my mind after all, which didn't make me any less uneasy.
"Can I talk to you? Man to man?" I said to Carlisle. He was actually pretty easy to get along with as vampires went, if you didn't count Jasper.
"A little old for a facts of life talk, aren't you, Jacob?" Carlisle said with a teasing smile.
"Funny, Carlisle. Look, I met someone...a vampire. A vegetarian like yourselves."
Carlisle's mouth opened in a round silent 'oh' and his eyes widened. "Go on," he prompted.
"It's a long story."
"I have plenty of time, Jacob. Have a seat."
He sat down again on the chair he had vacated and I lowered myself onto the one Edward had occupied. Then I launched into a shortened version of what Jasper had told me, finishing with the fact that he had left Portland to avoid the pain of seeing his family and wound up stripping to pay rent.
"He hates it," I said. "I gave him money for rent until I could go back. He needs a place to live, Carlisle. Someone to care for him."
"Am I right in thinking you have feelings for him?" Carlisle said pleasantly.
"Yeah. But I can't take him to my house, at least not yet; the guys will probably attack him and I don't know how to help him properly. He's alone and he hates what he is. I told him about you."
"Bring him here," Carlisle said firmly. "That's what you were going to ask, isn't it?"
I nodded, unable to believe it had been this easy. Carlisle didn't even hesitate, but merely asked a few more questions about Jasper before telling me to fetch him from Port Angeles when I could and tell him he would have a home with them.
I left in under an hour and went home, a stupid grin on my face. I only wished Jasper had a phone so I could call him and tell him the news. As it was I would have to wait until the following weekend when I could see him.
The week passed much faster than I expected. We had rehearsals every night and a show on Friday - just a small club in Forks, but it was packed to the rafters and proved to be a great night. I recognised the Forks Herald photographer to one side of the stage snapping away and guessed we would have our faces in the paper the next day.
By the time I got home after the show it was almost dawn. After the performance we had mingled with some of the crowd, letting our followers take photographs, chatting and in Paul and Jared's case, picking up groupies and heading for the nearest motel.
When I walked into the house I pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, grabbed a packet of cookies and headed for the lounge. I didn't see any point going to bed. I wouldn't sleep anyway, pumped from the show and full of butterflies as I thought about going to get Jasper in just a few more hours. I still hadn't talked to the other guys about him, despite Embry nagging me several times during the last few days, but I knew I would have time for that while he was settling into the Cullens' place.
I sat down, put my feet up, gulped some of the beer and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket. It was still off after the show and I pressed the power button, waiting for the screen to light up and show me if I had missed any calls or messages. After a minute or so, the phone began to bleep insistantly and several messages showed up. Surprised, I opened the first and then the others. They were all from Sue Clearwater telling me first that I needed to call her, then that Dad was sick, an update that she had taken him to the hospital and another saying he was ok, but had a bad turn and that it was something to do with his heart problem caused by the diabetes.
"Oh, fuck! No!" I exclaimed, catapulting off the sofa, scattering cookies and spilling beer. I shoved my feet back into my boots and called Sue's number as I flew out of the house again and unlocked the car. She didn't answer and I put the phone into my pocket and headed back to Forks again, my heart hammering in panic. I was convinced he was going to die before I got there; before I could talk to him once last time. I always thought the worst when faced with some dilemma. If Sue had told me Dad got a paper cut I would have imagined him bleeding to death.
I called Embry's number now as I drove to the hospital.
"What's up? I'm about to go to bed," he yawned.
"Dad's in hospital!" I cried. "I'm on the way back to Forks. Sue left me like a dozen messages. It's his heart! Shit!"
"You want me to come over there too?" Embry offered, instantly sounding more awake.
"You don't have to..."
"Don't be stupid, Jake, I'll pick Quil up and we'll be there in thirty minutes." He ended the call without wasting time saying goodbye and I put the phone down again, relaxing a fraction. Em and Quil could always be relied upon to be my shoulder to cry on when needed - we had always been that to each other, since we were five years old and Quil and me protected Embry from bullies.
I reached the hospital in record time and parked up beside Carlisle's car, glad to see he was on duty. I might not like the vampires too much, but I would rather have him than anyone else treat my Dad. I asked the reception desk where to find Billy Black and was directed upstairs to the cardiac unit. I ran up the staircase three at a time, my stomach knotting with worry. Hurtling down the corridor, I almost ran into Sue Clearwater with a paper cup in her hand and I skidded to a halt, panting.
"Is he ok?"
"He'll be fine, Jacob," she said at once. "He had some chest pains and difficulty breathing. They have him on a ventilator, but he didn't have a stroke or lose consciousness or anything. Carlisle is with him now. Here, sit down and drink this. It's sweet tea." She pushed me towards a nearby row of chairs and I sank onto one gratefully, my legs suddenly feeling weak.
"When can I see him?" I asked.
"As soon as Carlisle has finished doing some tests he'll come and find us. It shouldn't be long." Sue sat down to keep me company and I sipped the tea, grimacing. I hated tea.
Fifteen minutes later Embry and Quil arrived, galloping thunderously up the hall towards us until Sue jumped to her feet and gesticulated at them to calm down. She went looking for Carlisle and left them with me. The pair dropped onto the seats either side of me.
"Is he ok?" Quil panted.
"I think so. Sue says he's having a hard time breathing," I said. "Thanks for coming, guys."
"Of course we're going to be here, your Dad's always been like a father to us as well," said Embry.
They kept me company for another twenty minutes until Sue came back with Carlisle and the doctor took me in to see Dad. Things weren't anywhere near as serious as I had feared - apparently he had been overdoing things which resulted in the shortness of breath and pain, which was to be expected in his condition. Although he was on oxygen at present, they expected him to be fine to leave the hospital in twenty-four hours and Sue had already decided to stay with us for a few days. As a nurse she would be well equipped to make sure Dad was ok.
I spent perhaps a half hour with him and then returned to the guys to let him sleep. I sank onto the chair between them with a groan.
"God, I should have been here," I said, filled with guilt. "We're so busy with the band and since I got my own place I see him much less than I should. He's only like this because he was spring-cleaning the kitchen; can you believe that?"
"We're all as bad as each other," Quil said at once. "Up until last year all of us were round your place - your Dad's place - virtually all the time."
"I for one am going to start visiting him more often again," Embry put in.
"We all will," added Quil.
"Guys, he's my Dad, I should be more responsible. I've been too busy running off to Port Angeles the last couple of weeks to think about..." I broke off, aware that Quil was staring at me curiously. Then another thought came to me and I swore under my breath. Jasper. There was no way I could go to him now; I needed to be with Dad.
"Jake?" It was Embry's voice and I straightened up and leaned back in the seat.
"What have I missed?" asked Quil.
"He's seeing..."
"Em!" I hissed.
"...somebody..." finished Embry.
Damnit. I may as well tell him now. At least part of the story.
"Who is she?" Quil was quick to ask, eyebrows rising. "Do we know her?"
"It's a guy," I almost whispered, not looking at him.
"What? What did you say?"
"I'm gay," I said a little louder.
"But...but..." Quil's mouth flapped for a moment. "Since when?"
"Hell, I don't know, the only girl I ever liked was Bella," I sighed. "Years, I suppose."
"Why did you never say anything? You think we'd have not wanted to know you or something?"
"Well, it's not exactly easy to just come out with it." I snorted suddenly at my unfortunate choice of words.
"How long have you known?" Quil asked Embry.
"Couple of weeks."
"Right. So you're seeing someone?" Quil turned back to me again. "Who is he? Do we know him? How long has it been? Are we going to meet him?" he babbled.
"You don't know him, I met him in Port Angeles. His name's Jasper," I said. "He's nineteen."
Embry raised a single eyebrow at this and I frowned at him. I wasn't quite ready to tell Quil the rest of the story. It was all going to come out soon enough when Jasper came to live with the Cullens. If he ever did. What would he think when I didn't show up? Would he wait for me? I had told him I would come get him, that he could trust the wolf and now I was having to let him down. I struggled to sit still and not leap up and pace about.
"Wow, how did you meet him?" asked Quil curiously.
"He's a...um...he works in a club we went to," Embry said tactfully.
"You two went to a club without me?"
"It was full of gay guys, you wouldn't have liked it," said Embry, grinning.
"Yeah, ok. But we still want to meet this Jasper guy," Quil urged. "When are you going to bring him over here?"
"I don't know. Soon, maybe." I looked up as Sue came towards us again.
"Jacob, your Dad's settled for the rest of the night, I would go home and get a few hours' sleep. I'll call you if anything happens, although there's no reason to worry."
"I'd rather stay here," I said at once.
"You look like hell, Jacob, you should go and sleep," Embry said. "I'll come over and stay if you like."
"Yeah, you just want to eat all my food again," I said with a faint smile. "Alright, I'll go home. You will call me, Sue, if...?"
"I promise," she said.
Thirty minutes later I was home. Embry did stay with me and the first thing we did was find something to eat. Well, Embry ate, I watched, my stomach a knot of anxiety both over Dad lying in hospital thanks to me not being there to help him and Jasper waiting for me in Port Angeles, not yet knowing I couldn't go after all.
"You should have some of this," Embry said, indicating the stack of peanut butter sandwiches he had made. "Your Dad'll be fine, you heard what Sue and the doc said."
"Yeah, I know, I can't stop feeling guilty though. And I'm supposed to be going to get Jasper in a few hours; I won't be able to and..."
"Going to get him? You're bringing him here?" Embry gasped.
"I went to see Carlisle like I said I was going to; they're giving him a home."
"Just like that? They don't even know him. Nor do you actually."
"You know what Carlisle is like; he wants to help Jasper. Only now I can't go and he'll be waiting."
"You got a phone, don't you?" Embry said with a sigh. "Call him. He's not going to be mad you can't go when your Dad's sick."
"He doesn't have a phone," I groaned. "Shit. I promised him."
"Call the Sun Lounge," suggested Embry.
"He won't be there, I told him not to go back." I pulled out my cellphone regardless and searched for the number of the club on the internet. The phone rang for perhaps a minute before anyone picked up and I asked to speak to Steven.
"Who is this?" Steven's voice asked moments later.
"My name's Jacob. I'm calling about your dancer, Jasper."
"What about him?"
"Is he still working there? I need to get a message to him."
"Well, I'm afraid I can't give out any information about our employees," Steven said stiffly. "I don't know you from Adam."
"I'm the guy who...um...bid for him last week against that fat guy," I said awkwardly, avoiding looking at Embry.
"I see. Well, you won't find him here, the little waste of space quit on Monday," snapped Steven and then hung up.
I was partly relieved and partly more worried that I couldn't use that avenue to contact him.
"You had a bidding war for the leech?" Embry said, aghast.
"Yeah, look, never mind that." I was almost tempted to ask Embry to go over there and find Jasper, but given how Em felt about the situation, I knew it was a lousy idea. I would just have to hope that Dad would recover fast and that Jasper would wait.
"This might be a blessing in disguise," Embry said then. "A wolf and a vampire is never going to work; not in a million."
I didn't answer him. I felt a small niggle of doubt that he might be right. I could bring Jasper over here, move him in with the Cullens and see him, but the others were unlikely to ever accept him. If Embry was this vehemently against it, the others would only be worse and Dad...he would hate it. He did know I liked boys and as always he supported me, but to have his son taking up with a vampire? It would probably give him a heart attack, quite literally.
I tortured myself with my thoughts over the next few days, not knowing what to do for the best. Sue and I fetched Dad home less than twenty-four hours after I had been to the hospital to see him and I temporarily moved in with him again, as did Sue. Dad repeatedly told me not to be silly, that I should be in my own home and that I worried too much. He begged me to stop feeling guilty, which I couldn't do and told me to get back to work and concentrate on the band, but I stubbornly stayed there, fussing around him and trying not to let myself dwell on the fact that four days had passed since I was supposed to collect Jasper. Whatever decision I made about him, I couldn't even let him know and I felt sick over it.
It was Thursday morning when Dad tackled me. Sue had gone home for a few hours to clean her house up, knowing Leah and Seth who both still lived at home would have turned it into a bomb site by then. I made Dad a snack and sat down with a mug of coffee, staring into the steaming liquid and chewing my lip.
"Jacob, what's wrong?" Dad asked. I looked up and his eyes bored into me. "Don't tell me nothing, son. I know you too well."
"It really is nothing," I said.
"Bull. You're worrying about something and it's more than just my stupid ticker. Spill."
"I met someone," I sighed. He would just hound me until he got it out of me, but I was loath to tell him the whole story.
"And you miss them because you haven't left the house in days, looking after me," Dad said. "Jacob, I am fine. Sue is here, the other boys keep coming in every other day and you need to get back to your own life. Come visit when you want, but go home, please. And call whoever it is and arrange to see them. Are you going to tell me anything about them?"
"It's a boy, he lives in Port Angeles," I said.
"Uh huh. Does he have a name?"
"Jasper. Dad, don't ask anything else, ok? It's not going to work, so I should just forget about him." My stomach turned over at the thought of not seeing him again and I knew my face was giving me away.
"Why wouldn't it work? You obviously like him; does he like you?"
"Yeah, but I let him down. And there's a complication we can't get around."
"Like what? Anything can be got around if you want to enough," Dad reasoned.
"Not this one. He's a..." Shit, I knew he was going to think I was a complete idiot. I didn't know why I was even contemplating telling him.
"A what?" prompted Dad.
"He's like the Cullens."
"Oh." There was a long silence and I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing myself for even mentioning Jasper's name. I had been right. Dad thought I was a jerk.
"That's a little awkward," Dad said. "Does he know what you are?"
"Yes, of course, I told him. Embry already thinks I'm out of my mind. The others don't know. I only told Quil a few days ago that I like guys. It wasn't like I went looking for a vampire, it just happened," I said wistfully, remembering the first time I saw him, his sad face, how sweet and shy he was when he stumbled into the private room and I told him I only wanted to talk.
"So what are you going to do now?" asked Dad.
"Forget about him, I suppose, like I should have done in the first place instead of going back, making him promises that he could live with the Cullens and that..."
"Sounds serious," Dad interrupted. "You talked to Carlisle about this?"
"Yes, he said he would give Jasper a home; he hates his life, he was taken away from a loving family a year ago; he's alone, doing a job he hates to pay rent."
"You're a fool, Jacob," said Dad.
"I know," I groaned. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just...really like him."
"You're a fool because you really like him and you're sitting here grovelling to me and making excuses," Dad went on, much to my surprise. "Why haven't you fetched him like you promised? Because of me being a touch under the weather? I hope you called to explain."
"He doesn't have a phone," I said dumbly. Dad was supporting me in this? I wondered for a moment if I could be dreaming.
"So the boy has been waiting for you to turn up, not knowing why you haven't?"
"It's probably for the best."
"Best for whom? You? Him? I have to admit, it's not the best situation I've ever encountered, but have you seen yourself? I've never seen you look so miserable, Jacob. If he's that important to you, then figure the rest out later."
"The band will probably want to kill him," I said doubtfully.
"He'll be part of the treaty, won't he, if he's with the Cullens? You seem to forget that one of my best friends has a vampire for a son-in-law. He got used to it eventually. It wouldn't be impossible for me to do the same if he's what you want."
I had almost resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going to see Jasper again and now my heart began to hammer and butterflies filled my stomach, but at the same time I worried. What if he didn't want to see me after I let him down? What if he wasn't even there? For the next three hours as I talked to Dad a little more, then took a shower, changed and drove over to Port Angeles in the Rabbit, my heart was in my mouth.
I easily found the address Jasper had given me. It was a small apartment block not far from the Sun Lounge; a run down looking building with a beggar sitting outside. There was no security door on the building and I headed up the filthy stairs to the third floor, walked along the landing to Apartment B and pressed the buzzer. I heard no sound and I knocked, waited and then knocked again. Nothing. I pushed the door and it swung inwards slowly with a slight squeak. Shit.
"Jasper?" I stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind me. I was in a small lounge room with two doors opening off of it. One stood open and revealed a bathroom. The other was closed and I tapped on it before I opened it too and looked inside.
"Jasper!"
He was huddling on a narrow bunk, his arms wrapped around himself, his body shaking. Now he sat up slowly, staring at me with jet black eyes as he hissed a response.
"Stay away from me!"