The Sequel: Chapter IV

(Author's Note)

I like Hwan. I think she only acts the way she does because Ni's always in the picture. Ergo, I removed Ni from the picture. I like him, but I wanted to give Hwan a chance; so I offer my deepest apologies to the Ni fans out there, but he's probably not coming back in this fic. Besides, since I'm following the manga timeframe, it would be impossible regardless of whether or not I wanted him in here anyway.

Oh, and I didn't take the upcoming name from Loveless. I was just looking up the Japanese word for "life" and this was incidentally the result. If you recognize it, I apologize. If you do not, pretend I never said a word.

Quote(s) of the Day: "All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power."—Ashleigh Brilliant

"Nothing says 'I love you' like violating a restraining order."—BumperSticker

"I'm never too busy to enjoy someone else's misery."—BumperSticker (as well as my own personal belief)

"I can resist everything except temptation."—Oscar Wilde

Plot: The Most Lethal Device

(Houtou Castle—Morning)

Dr. Hwan was at her computer, recording the data from her most recent checkup on the first subject, when Kougaiji arrived.

"What is it that I have to do?" he sighed reluctantly. He was so sick of being treated like the harlot's lap dog, and could hardly await the day when he'd finally be free from all this abuse. However, until that time came, he was stuck doing menial tasks.

The Doctor looked up and her lenses glinted sharply. "You're late."

He bit back what he really wanted to say and replied, "I apologize. Lirin was being difficult, and I had to assist Yaone in getting her to her morning lessons."

"Oh, well I suppose that can't be helped. I was busy until a moment ago anyway." She stood and motioned him over to a heavy steel door at the opposite end of the room. "This way. You should become acquainted with number four before anything else is done."

"Number four?" He frowned past her as she opened the heavy door and then stared in astonishment when he saw what—or, rather, who—was waiting inside, seated on a cushioned platform and intently studying the patterns of LED lights flickering across the nearest control panel. "Isn't that…?"

"No. This one is much more tolerable," the Doctor muttered irritably, "though it did take four replications to get the results I wanted. He will answer to the name of Seimei. The other two are still in incubation, so I cannot allow you to see them yet, but the wait won't be much longer now."

Kougaiji took a moment to absorb what was going on, then finally snapped out of it and demanded, "What exactly do you have planned? This is…this is wrong!" Finally, the recent reports of supernatural phenomena in Shangri-La were making sense. The combination of magic and science necessary to create an entire new being, this being, no less, was probably three times what it would take to revive Gyumaoh, but didn't require the scriptures. This made the minus wave seem infantile in comparison.

Hwan smiled a tad sharply, but not without a touch of melancholy. "Lady Koushu wants as much power on our side as we can manage, seeing as how you have failed so many times to complete the one simple task you were given from the very beginning. This is my answer to our problems."

He disregarded the implied insult. "Maybe so, but didn't you pick the wrong one?"

"As I've said, there are two more, and all have had personality modifications to keep them under control."

This whole concept bothered him, but he set aside his misgivings for the sake of getting it all over with. "Fine, then introduce us."

The doctor sighed resignedly and turned to the still figure. "Seimei, there's someone you should meet. I have a mission for you.

"Hmm?" He looked up and trained large, tapered cyan eyes on the two of them. "Who's that?"

"This is Lord Kougaiji. He is in charge of you once you leave the castle," Hwan replied in a tone which said clearly that he wasn't allowed to argue.

He considered the Prince momentarily, then decided to abandon his perch and hopped to the ground. He was rather thin and tall, draped in a long black silk robe tied tight around his waist. His shaggy auburn hair was in disarray, sticking up all over as though he'd been sleeping until recently. "Prince Kougaiji, eh? So you're the one who's gonna show me the outside world?"

Despite his uneasiness with the whole matter, Kou nodded and muttered, "It looks like it."

"Well, then, pleased to meetcha." He held out a hand to shake, and the prince reluctantly reciprocated.

Kougaiji was beginning to feel like he should have just refused this task outright and taken his thirty lashings like a man.

(Elsewhere in Houtou Castle)

"Man! This is annoying!" Lirin whined quietly to herself as she crawled through the ventilation shaft above the labs. Yaone was still out there somewhere, searching for her charge, but the Princess would have none of it. Her curiosity toward what was going on back here was too strong to ignore, and it was even more important to find out now that Kougaiji was apparently involved.

Still, she couldn't help the irritating nagging of her stomach. She knew she should have asked for seconds!

Echoing voices coming from the ventilation grate up ahead took her mind off her hunger, however, and she slid silently along, stopping only when she was directly over the scene.

There was someone familiar, yet not familiar there, and she tried to think of who he reminded her of, but her brain wouldn't stop slipping back to the subject of food. It was like trying to run up an ice-coated slope.

'Grr! Fine, I'll think about it after I eat!' she mentally resolved in the end, inching her way back and grumbling the whole way.

(After the Blizzard)

Waking up is always an adventure. This time, I'd completely forgotten that I had been kidnapped by my roommate and ended up searching in vain for a clock that wasn't there in a totally unfamiliar room for about ten minutes before I realized what the hell was going on. Dammit, I needed food, and quickly.

The sun was just starting to come up, casting enough pale light to illuminate the room in a dim glow. I could see Goku sprawled across his bed as though he contorted in his sleep, snoring loudly enough to wake the dead and undead alike—a possibility which didn't bode well with me. Yumoa was curled in a ball on the next futon over, sucking his thumb like the five-year-old man he was. Gojyo was sleeping like a normal person, thank sanity.

Konran was…

I looked down and realized for the first time that there was a pair of strong, slender pale arms clinging tightly to my waist. I was so used to it that I never even noticed anymore. Damn, I was going soft.

"Oh, for the love of…this is ridiculous." I sighed and dropped my head back onto my feather pillow. He was so absurd after getting drunk. He was like a small child climbing into his parents' bed after a nightmare.

Only he was a full-grown…god-type thing.

As much as I wanted to stab his hands away, I didn't have Ryushi with me—the one thing they'd neglected to bring. It was just damn lucky that I carried my other weapons on me at all times.

Goku shouted something utterly random about potstickers and yakisoba, and as though it were programmed into his very soul, Gojyo muttered a halfhearted, half-unconscious "shut the hell up, monkey!"

At least they seemed happy. I still wanted to know what time it was, as well as whether or not there was any food downstairs, so I did some contortion of my own and turned around in Konran's grip, then tried to pry him away with both my feet and my hands. No dice. He stuck like glue and slept like a rock, and the fact that his body temperature was several degrees above human didn't help me much. I felt like I was going to suffocate.

"Argh!" I selected a different strategy and scooted lower, trying to slip out of the shackles, rather than break them. I almost made it, too, but at the last moment he opened his eyes a crack and suddenly he gripped my lagging wrists, yanking me back up and appearing above me faster than I could say "Oww! My spine!"

"And where do you think you are going?" he inquired groggily, stifling a yawn with his shoulder. He'd pinned my wrists to the futon at either side of my head, so I couldn't hit him, and like the seasoned animal-tamer he was, he'd restrained my legs as well.

I glared at him, silently cursing the fact that, physically, he was at least ten times stronger than I. "Good, you're sober. Get off me."

"How quaint. Early morning insults. And what if I don't intend on letting you leave? It's too early to get up."

"Maybe to you, but I'd like to go feed myself before I die, thank you very much," I retorted tightly.

He frowned, then sighed. "Stay here. I'll get you something from the diner."

"But…!" He smothered my argument with my own arm.

"No buts," he replied, giving me a stern, uncompromising look that made his eyes glint like precious stones. "It's the least I can do after all the idiocy of yesterday. You just stay here and rest."

"I can get it myself…" I muttered, squinting at him as he released me and stood up while combing his fingers through the bed-head. (It comforted me deep down to know that gods could get bed-head.)

"Nope. I'm treating you. Do you want me to make some of that mocha you love so much?"

YES! my brain screamed before the thought could register in my speech center.

He gave me a peculiar look and put on a pair of complimentary slippers. "Your brain certainly is enthusiastic in the morning," he commented with a wry smile.

I sat up and hugged my knees. "Shut up. Yeah, some of that mocha sounds great. I can feel a headache coming on."

"What would you like to eat?" He paused at the door.

I shrugged. "Surprise me." Then I considered a moment and added, "Thanks, Kon."

He smiled and chuckled softly. "Anything for you, Lydia." And with that he left.

Sometimes I didn't mind it so much to have him around, I had to admit.

"Mmmmnnnnggghhh," groaned the cockroach, deciding that it was his turn to wake up. He rolled over and blinked at me. "Lydia…?"

"'Mornin'," I greeted.

He sat up and looked around—and did a double-take when he saw Yumoa sucking his thumb. "Damn, he's weird." After a yawn, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and inquired, "Where'd Konran go?" It bugged me that he didn't have bed-head like Kon and I.

"He's getting me food and mocha. Yeah, he's back to normal—well, as normal as a demented god can be—and apparently intent on making it up to me for the whole kidnapping and getting drunk thing. I like it when he's behaving."

"Huh? You get room service? That's just not right," he muttered in mock outrage. "What about the rest of us?"

I laughed. "Goku's food alone would require a winch, and Yumoa's taken a shining to exorbitant quantities of Trix and chocolate milk for breakfast. Those two are better off going to the diner with the others. Besides, they don't have any pain-in-my-ass medical conditions to take care of."

"Good point. What are Trix?"

"A sugar-loaded brand of cereal." Whole wheat my ass. That crap was like pure adrenaline to Yumoa's biological system. So much so that I'd banned the psycho from any and all caffeinated comestibles.

"Ah." He dug a cigarette out of his coat hanging on the bedpost and lit up. "I could go for some coffee. Maybe I'll go see what Kon's up to."

"You do that."

He got up, put on another pair of courtesy slippers, and headed out as well.

"Damn, I want my mocha," I muttered, grabbing my pillow and hugging it tightly to fend off the impending dizziness. At least I knew that I could trust Konran to look out for me. On my own, I would have forgotten not just food, but my medication as well.

Seeing as how it was unoccupied, I decided to usurp Gojyo's bed and take advantage of the joys of mattress. I could wait here until Kon came back, and perhaps have an engaging argument with the water sprite when he demanded that I return his furniture.

(Downstairs)

"Damn, I just don't understand how she can do all that so easily," Konran sighed as he emptied the pan onto the plate. The task was simple enough—food wasn't the problem. However, shifting a specific locus such as a kitchen out of its natural plane was a drain on his powers.

"Hey, what're you doing in here?"

He nearly dropped the hot pan, but caught himself quickly and spun to confront the intruder. "Gojyo? How did you get in?!"

The kappa blinked, then made an appropriate face. "All of you are weird in the morning. I walked in, dumbass."

"Impossible. I sealed this area away as a shifted plane! Argh, I must be losing my touch!"

"Geeze, chill out. It's too early to have a nervous breakdown." He dipped the end of his cigarette into a glass of stale water and tossed it in the trash. "So you really are cooking, huh? You any good at it?"

Chaos shrugged and turned back to the preparations, cracking a pair of eggs in each hand and setting them in the hot pan. "Back in our realm, Lydia rarely cooked. It was usually either Yumoa or I doing that, mostly because she was so busy working to pay the bills and rent."

Gojyo gave a low, impressed whistle. "She sure is lucky to have you. Pity she's so dense. She has to be the only girl I've ever met with no interest at all in sexy men like us."

Konran chuckled and sprinkled some salt on the frying eggs. "Watch your tongue. You and I are in completely different leagues—reincarnation notwithstanding."

"Reincarnation?"

"Ah, nothing at all." He smirked despite himself and added some ground pepper before flipping the eggs to fry the other side. "As I was saying, you're a good guy, and I'm…learning, I suppose. I'll be lucky if I don't die of old age before I catch her." A spacey look glazed over his eyes, and like a machine on autopilot, he finished the eggs and slid them onto the plate as well.

"Er, I'd be more worried about her dying of old age…" the kappa muttered, yet again realizing how difficult this was going to be. "Oy, pay attention!"

Konran flinched and awoke from his land of nothingness. "Oh, sorry…that alcohol really shattered a lot of my usual walls. It'll improve soon, I can assure you."

"Too bad. Seems to me she's more willing to be around you only when you really need her."

He flinched again and gripped the spatula like a knife, rounding on the water sprite in a flash and pointing the utensil at his face. "I always need her, dammit! I need her more than plants need sunlight! She's just too stubborn in her status quo to take any notice! That, or she really is as immature as she behaves. Ye Zeus, if it turns out that she's on par with Yumoa, I'll…I'll…I have no idea what I'll do. I'll wait, probably." He lowered the spatula and hung his head in depression. "I'm so disgusted with myself."

This brought a grin to the water sprite's face, for some obscure reason. "That just means you're in love."

Konran shot him a dirty look. "Don't mock me, don't state the blatantly obvious, and don't forget that you're talking to a two-thousand-year-old Chaos god. I've been around the block so many times you'd get dizzy. The only difference now is that I've finally developed an uncontrollable urge to do anything just to be with her. Hell, I'd indenture myself to her in a heartbeat!"

"That's kind of sad, you know…ever consider therapy?" Sure, the god was suffering the worst pain imaginable, but something about it made it impossible for Gojyo to resist teasing the poor guy. Quite likely, it was the hilarious irony of the fact that, of all the billions of women Konran could have chosen, he'd picked the most socially defunct, violent, deviant girl imaginable. Yes. That was it. His grin broadened for no discernible reason—at least to Kon—and the god's eyes narrowed.

"Why are you grinning like that?" he demanded suspiciously while pouring a glass of persimmon juice for himself before he made the mocha.

Gojyo shook his head and chuckled, fishing through his pocket for a hair tie and pulling his straight locks back into a ponytail. "Nothing, really. It's just really strange. I mean, just three weeks ago—for us, at least—you were the enemy. You were supposed to be some evil son of a bitch with no regard for mortal lives. But now you're just like any poor sap trying to get a girl to notice him. I just think it's funny."

"If I weren't so busy, I'd kick your ass into the next dimension over," groused Chaos. He took a bowl mug out of a cupboard and filled it halfway with hot coffee, then added some cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar before filling it the rest of the way with chocolate milk.

"Hey, seriously, I'll help you as much as I can," amended the kappa with a (sort of) apologetic smile.

The god took a swig of juice and frowned hard at him, before sighing and setting the glass down. "Whatever. Just don't make things worse than they are."

"What the hell is taking so long?!"

The two of them gave a near-violent start and jerked around to see who was yelling, nearly knocking each other over in the process. Finally, they managed, and looked down to see Lydia in the doorway, glaring in what appeared to be rage.

"Long?" Konran repeated in confusion first. "It's been ten minutes!"

"No, it's been an HOUR. What the hell? I'm about to…whoa boy…" All the yelling had taken its toll, and to the men's surprise, she keeled over on the spot.

"Crap!" Gojyo exclaimed appropriately.

Konran said nothing, instead vanishing and reappearing at her side in a burst of black dust in a manner not unlike Nightcrawler from X-Men (1). He caught her before her head hit the tile floor, and let out a breath of relief.

"What's wrong with her?" The redhead kept his distance, figuring that Konran knew what he was doing if it involved Lydia and her weird medical condition.

"I'm not quite sure," he muttered, lifting her eyelids and checking her pupils. "I think she might be developing hypoglycemia…which is just ridiculous since she has diabetes, but it's been happening more and more frequently. We need to wake her up."

Gojyo searched around for a moment, noticed the frosted window over the sink, and smirked. "I've got the perfect idea."

Konran followed his gaze. "Are you insane or just stupid?"

"Trust me. It gets the chimp up every time." He unlatched the sill and lifted the stubborn pane in staggered increments, just enough to reach under and obtain a handful of snow.

"Perhaps, but the 'chimp' doesn't retaliate like a surprised cobra now, does he?"

"Just do it. If she's right and it's been an hour, then the rest of them are probably up, too." He held the slush out to the god and nodded solemnly. "Do it before she goes into a coma or something."

The thought of Lydia falling into a coma scared the hell out of Chaos, so without another word of argument, he took the snow, propped Lydia up, and dropped the freezing mixture down her back, beneath her nightshirt.

It really was like a surprised cobra. It happened so quickly that only three seconds later Konran was on the floor in a pool of his own blood, Gojyo was struggling to hide himself in the cupboard under the sink, and Lydia had managed to perch atop the pantry with a bread knife in one hand and a bloodstained rolling pin in the other.

Fortunately, Sanzo, Hakkai, and Goku selected that moment to enter the kitchen to see what all the noise was about. (Yumoa was still sleeping, and dreaming of bunnies.)

"What the fuck is going on in here?" demanded the irate monk. It was immediately apparent to all those present—other than Konran, who was unconscious at the time—that Sanzo was still a little irked at the universe in general for screwing him over and sending his worst nightmares back to torment him further. And now this? It was everyone's good fortune that in his hurry to go and shoot the one responsible for waking him up, he had forgotten his gun under his pillow. He wanted a cigarette so bad at that moment that he could have strangled a small child for one. At least, that was what he told himself.

"She's gone crazy again!" shouted Gojyo, whose only remaining vulnerable limb was his leg, which he now cursed for being so damn long.

Hakuryu immediately vacated the room, proving that he indeed was the most intelligent member of the ikkou.

Hakkai let his little friend go to where it was safe, and once certain that the dragon would be fine, he slowly approached the girl with his hands raised harmlessly before him. "Lydia, you've snapped again. Are you okay?"

But to their surprise (yes, even Sanzo's), she afforded them an incredulous look and grouched, "Who said I had snapped? I have total control over all my faculties."

Slowly, Gojyo peered out of the cupboard, and seeing her sane he left it as quickly as he could to retrieve his dignity. "What?! You smashed his head in! He's bleeding from his ears!" he accused once he had gotten to his feet. He pointed almost frantically at the comatose god and the expanding pool of crimson liquid.

Goku stared wide-eyed as the pool crawled slowly toward his bare feet, stepping back a bit when it got too close for comfort. He wondered why no one was trying to help Kon.

Sanzo noticed Goku's fascination and in a fit of good judgment, he grabbed the boy's collar and yanked him away from the blood before he made a mess. He then turned to the culprit and growled, "Get down here right now, or I swear I will shoot you the moment I get my gun."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, shrugged, and hopped down the six feet without further argument. Noticing the food on the counter, she took the plate and fork and began eating, seemingly ignoring the bleeding god and the three observers.

"This is bullshit." Sanzo had had enough, turning on his heel and grabbing a cup of coffee as he left to go shower and change—and smoke.

For the first time in a long time, Hakkai wasn't sure whether or not he should assist the injured, and looked to see Goku torn between following his master and staying for the denouement. At length, the placid man decided that an immortal god would be fine with even the most massive of head trauma, and ushered the monkey out before any more corruption occurred.

Gojyo hesitated a moment, came to the same conclusion as Hakkai, and left as well.

(The Heavens)

Kanzeon Bosatsu gazed into the lotus-scattered viewing pool with an unstoppable grin. This was what she was talking about. This was all the entertainment she ever could have wished for. Occasionally, she succumbed to the urge to giggle.

So when Jiroshin returned with a guest she was reluctant to leave the humorous imagery, but knew that he would just give her a hard time if she refused to go, and with a sigh she stood to greet the visitor.

Their guest was an utterly gorgeous, tall, leggy woman with sapphire eyes and meticulously applied makeup on an elegant face framed by long, wavy golden tresses. She wore a draping silver cloth, cinched around her waist with a sash of gold thread to create a short-hemmed dress-like garment, and her sandaled feet were adorned with dozens of silver and gold anklets that jingled every time she took a step. She walked like a runway model.

Something about her was inexplicably familiar.

Kannon put on a smile and swaggered up to the woman, wondering what was so important that it couldn't wait until she was finished viewing. "Good afternoon. As you probably know, I am Kanzeon Bosatsu. What is your business with me today?" She shot a pointed look to Jiroshin and he cleared his throat.

"Merciful Goddess, this is Venus. She came to inquire about your…project." He looked away, apparently a bit flustered, and with a hasty goodbye he hurried off to do menial work.

Kannon watched him go with a spark of interest. She had heard this name before, but where?

She turned to the guest and shrugged elegantly. "I apologize for his behavior. He doesn't get out much."

Venus smirked, and it was infinitely alluring and conniving all at once. "Yeah, tell me about it. I'm so envious of my nephews. They get to live in the mortal world, the little bastards."

The Merciful Goddess chuckled and motioned over to the shogi board (2) where they could sit and talk. "Please have a seat. What brings you here? And where have I heard of you before?"

The blonde's smirk broadened as she took a seat across from Kannon and crossed one leg over the other. "Actually, it's about my nephews. I was wondering how they were doing. I miss their visits."

And then it all snapped into place. "Wait, you're Venus, the goddess of Love in the next realm over?"

She nodded.

Kannon chuckled in mild surprise and folded her arms across her stomach, sitting back a bit. "Huh. I thought you seemed familiar. We have similar jobs…but you really came all the way over here just to ask about Konran and Yumoa?"

To the Merciful Goddess' surprise, Venus laughed a high, tinkling laugh that made her eyes take on a wicked gleam. "Oh, you're as sharp as they said you were. Actually, there was a major time shift recently, and it felt like Chaos' doing. My guess is he tried to create a time bubble, but being what he is, he sucks at it."

"The chaos thing, I assume." Kannon was impressed that this goddess had sense a time shift in a realm completely separate from her own.

"Yeah. Pretty much anything that requires an organized frame of mind is out for him. He's a man of spontaneity. And lately he's been acting so strangely that it's no surprise he botched it up."

"Strangely? Oh, you mean the fact that he's hopelessly in love with that mortal girl—his, what was it, worldly equivalent? He's been a complete mess." She didn't dare add that this fact amused the hell out of her, or that she hoped it got worse before it got better. All of it was for entertainment purposes.

Venus' face fell, and Kannon had a sudden, bizarre, inexplicable urge to cry. She fought it off and marveled at the Love goddess' ability to invoke sympathy from others. "He's in love?! Really?!"

Was it really so difficult for her to see? It was her job. Then again, Konran was such a screwball that sometimes it was hard to tell what was really going on in his head. "Yes, really. He's having a hell of a time, too. Apparently Lydia doesn't understand that he's not furniture."

"Furniture…I beg your pardon! Doesn't she want him?" It seemed a "no" reply would shatter Venus' every belief about love.

…But Kannon hated to lie.

"I don't think she even thinks about that sort of thing. Have you ever seen that girl? She's almost a lost cause. I can see how he could be attracted to her—she resembles him in a lot of ways—but he's certainly chosen a challenge." Just remembering all the humorous incidents made her struggle to keep the grin from her face.

Venus stood abruptly in a flurry of silver and gold. "Unacceptable! Chaos is my finest accomplishment! He can get any woman he wants!" she exclaimed as though declaring that water was wet. "…And he practically has…but that's beside the point!" She hesitated and clenched her fists. "Damn. Maybe I should go back and get one of the apples…(3)"

"Calm down, please," the other goddess implored, while still struggling not to start laughing.

She pouted, then sat back down and grumbled, "Well, then how's my little Comedy? Is he happy?"

"Yumoa is fine. I believe he's sleeping right now."

"Really? Odd, it feels like he's awake. Maybe I'm just thrown off by of this whole Chaos thing." The blonde goddess looked so depressed now that Kannon sighed and made a proposition.

"Venus, would you like to go see them? I can take you down if you want." In all honesty, she just wanted to see the looks on everyone's faces. She loved it when they spazzed each time she visited.

The goddess of Love's head snapped up eagerly. "Oh, please? Could you?"

Kannon gave her a wily smirk. "Sure. Follow me. Ah, and I may also have an idea for how to deal with Lydia, which I'm sure you can pull off easily."

(Kagekoku)

"Oy, I know you're not dead." I poked Kon again with the bread knife, and still received no response. I'd wolfed down the sustenance in mere minutes, as well as drank a mug of mocha and a glass of persimmon juice to get the sugar and caffeine going, and was now attempting to awaken the comatose god.

There was a large pool of blood around his head, leaking from a cut on his temple and both his ears, but somehow he took all the gruesomeness out of the image. He was just too good-looking to make it look like a horrible murder scene. As morbid as it seemed, he would have made a beautiful corpse.

I prodded him again and got some blood on the knife, and I examined it closely. It smelled sweet, like honeysuckle. Huh, so gods had different blood, too? I could vaguely remember it tasting sweet, too, from when he'd stopped my BLOODLUST from destroying me—or something similarly melodramatic.

"Kon, Kon, Kon, Kon, Kon…wake up, dude. We have to get out of here before the management sees you!"

Finally, he stirred, an opened one brilliant eye to squint at me. "Why does my head hurt?" he groaned.

"I beat you with a rolling pin for that mean trick you pulled with the slush," I responded candidly.

His other eye opened as he remembered, and with effort he pushed himself up to a sitting position, before wavering and collapsing again into my lap, breathing hard. "Dammit, why?"

I shrugged and wiped some of the blood from his cheek with a cold, damp cloth. "Seemed a fitting punishment at the time. Mind you, I'm not known for making rational decisions."

You got that right, REASON huffed, clearly displeased with my methods.

Despite it all, he chuckled. "I know that better than anyone. Odd how I've gotten used to it."

"It's a fair trade. You get to sleep in my bed, and I get to beat you down for pissing me off."

He looked up at me, smiling a little dazedly. "Could you at least help me stand?"

"C'mon, then." I pushed him to sit up and held his hand as I stood, pulling him with me and wrapping an arm around his waist so he didn't overbalance.

He sighed and held my shoulder, and swept the bloody hair from his eyes with his other hand. "I need a shower now, thanks a lot."

"Quit whining, pretty-boy. Rest first, or you'll drown in the bathtub, and I ain't comin' in to save you."

He managed a chuckle as we snuck out and skirted past the dining room where patrons were beginning to appear for the fresh tea and coffee at the bar. We hurried up the stairs and reached the door without incident. Mission accomplished. I opened the door for him and he entered first of his own volition—he was a remarkably fast healer—but when I followed there was a loud shriek, and I skidded around the corner just as some blonde about Kon's height threw her arms around him.

"Chaos! My poor baby! What happened?!" she demanded frantically, apparently shocked at all the blood.

Kon seemed frozen, and I frowned. Who was this? And why was she hanging all over him like that? And why did that bother me?

I stepped in and coughed loudly, and she went still and looked up at me in surprise…which instantly turned into what I discerned to be anger. "What did you do to my baby?!"

"B-baby?" I stammered in confusion.

"Hello again, little kitten," greeted another person in the room, whom I hadn't noticed due to the drama of the other two.

"Oh, Kannon. What's up? This chick your friend?" There was an unusual edge to my voice.

She smiled. "Don't worry. This is Venus; Venus, this is Lydia."

My mouth dropped open and I gaped at the blond goddess. "Eh?"

I heard the door click open and turned to see Goku, Gojyo, Hakkai and Hakuryu, and Yumoa all enter.

Goku skipped in, unaware of what was happening, and began, "Hey, Lydia! Let's go outside…huh? Who's that?"

They all stopped to stare at Kon and the goddess, and I shrugged. "Venus," I offered lamely.

But then the room went quiet when Kon finally found himself and tore away from the woman, taking several steps back before gasping, "Auntie?!"

"Auntie?" everyone chorused.

"Auntieeee!" Yumoa cried gleefully, running to the goddess and glomping her like a zealous toddler.

I slowly raised my eyes from the god to the goddess, and squinted. "Auntie," I reiterated.

She smiled bashfully and chuckled. "I'm their aunt. I've raised Chaos since his mother left when he was a baby."

Shocked silence filled the room.

"Holy hell…" Gojyo finally choked out past his astonishment.

"Wow…" Goku murmured.

Hakkai sighed and smiled amiably. "Oh, dear."

Good thing Sanzo was still in the shower—

"Why don't you idiots know how to be quiet?!" Sanzo stomped into the room brandishing his weapon—and froze when he spotted the posse. "Eh?"

…Crap.

(Author's Notes)

(1) Difference is, Kon's cuter. That black dust cloud bit is pretty similar, though.

(2) Shogi is that game that Kannon and Jiroshin are always playing. It's like the Japanese version of chess.

(3) Venus (AKA Aphrodite) has an odd affinity for apples. She's like an amalgamation of the Snake and Eve. Her apples make people do strange things, like say she's the prettiest of the goddesses.

Venus doesn't count as an OC. She's a plot device. Sort of. I just really wanted to throw in a blond version of Kannon. I apologize if this offends you, but I just found the combination hilarious.

How'd you like the attack on Kon? XD Whee!

REVIEWS! PLEASE REVIEW!!! I BEG THEE ON MY HANDS AND KNEES!! I GROVEL BEFORE YE!

—Cyh Scævola, the Chaos Theoryst OUT