Sorry that it took so long to get out but I was having some trouble with my computer and uploading the documents. Whatever, it's fixed now. I'm going on vacation, but I'll try to be good about writing.

CHAPTER FOUR

For the record, I had left my dad in about February and now it was July. A sweltering, muggy hot New York July. Selling papes was the worst part of the day. It was torture just to get through the long hours. Sometimes Spot would invite the Brooklyn newsies down to swim at the dock. That was the best.

It was night now. I had just eaten dinner at the Jacobs; that was David and Les's place. About once a week, I slept in their apartment. Sarah treated me as if I was really a boy, but when we were alone, we talked. Not about my past, I would never tell her that I was a murderer, but just about normal things. Every night, I would have the same nightmare at least once. I would never scream or yell, but just wake up. I lost a lot of sleep that way, especially when I was too frightened to fall back asleep. They caught the murderer, so I don't know what I was afraid of. The killer had been crazy, insane, actually. They had hung him and I had watched. Other than the nightmares, I had no other effect from the murders.

The whole family was up on the roof. It was cooler there than back in the flat. David was sitting next to me, slumped over.

"How can it be this hot and still be earth?" David moaned.

"Hell couldn't be hotter." I agreed, making Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs, Sarah, and Les laugh. I didn't see why. It certainly wasn't funny.

"Do you have a religion?" Mrs. Jacobs asked curiously. Time and again she had told me to call her and her husband by their first names, but I just didn't.

"I guess I was Catholic. I dunno, but my da never took me. Ma tried before she left. If I wanted to go, I went, which wasn't often." I didn't want to admit that I found the priests' lectures very boring and that I felt stupid among all the chapel finery. I certainly hadn't gone after I killed my dad.

"We're Protestant ourselves. We go to church Sundays. You've probably noticed that David and Les haven't sold then." Mr. Jacobs said.

"You could come with us sometime." Mrs. Jacobs offered.

I shook my head immediately. "Church never set with me. I'd rather sell papes."

Les looked at his Ma pleadingly, but she glared at him. I guess he didn't like church either.

"When is the last time you've been to a confession?" Mrs. Jacobs kept at the religion stuff.

"Um…last week." I lied.

"I don't believe you. It's probably high time you went to one." She was acting motherly and it was getting to me, in a bad way. I suppose that I had been motherless so long, that I resented someone trying to mother me. I know, it doesn't make sense.

"I don't want to. I don't believe in confessions anyway." I was feeling especially rebellious. "I don't even believe in God."

There were five collective gasps from each member of the Jacobs family. I hid a grin. Alright, I believed in God, but not in confessions. They seemed stupid to me. I mean, the Bible taught that only God could forgive sins but now the priests could?

"You can't mean that!" Les looked at me with some kind of awe.

"Maybe I do." I shrugged. "Just cause some priest says there is, doesn't mean it's so."

"You poor child." Mrs. Jacobs looked horrified.

"I'm not poor." I tossed a quarter up in the air and caught it again. "Neither is God (if he's even real) if he loses one believer."

"That's blasphemy!" Mrs. Jacobs whispered. I snickered at the look on her face. "Mayer, don't just laugh, do something!"

Mr. Jacobs was laughing. I suppose that he saw through my little bluff. "Leave Max alone. His beliefs are his own."

"Well, I won't have anyone talk like that in my home!" Mrs. Jacobs put her foot down. I had been goading her and I don't mean to make her seem mean, cause she isn't.

I had been wanting a good fight all day. "I guess I'll just leave then." I stood up.

"Strip, the boarding house is shut up for the night." David watched me with interest.

"I'll sleep on the streets then. I hate families anyway." I strode over to the fire escape, ignoring the hurt look on Les and Sarah's faces. David knew me well enough to know that I didn't mean it.

Mrs. Jacobs looked abashed. "Max, I'm sorry. It's this blasted heat. Come back, I won't say another word."

I stopped, also feeling guilty. "No, it was me too. I was just raring for a fight. I'll be back."

I walked slowly down the fire escape. It seemed the heat wave had affected the whole city. People in general were more snappy and irritable. Even the newsies hadn't been themselves. I found an alleyway with other street kids in it, and slept. I had done this more than a couple times since I had joined the newsies, so it was nothing different.

The next day, Mutty was not at the Distribution Center. I didn't see him all day, but I wasn't worried. I got worried when he didn't come for the next two days. I wanted to find out what was wrong with him, but I didn't know where he lived. No one in Manhattan knew, actually. The only who I could ask was Spot Conlon, the most revered newsie in New York.

I took less papes than usual and finished selling early. I didn't tell any of my friends where I was going, in case they laughed. I walked to Brooklyn nervously, wondering if Spot would know or if he would tell me.

Spot was swimming near the docks. I waited until he got out and pulled his clothes on. Then, I approached him.

"Can I have a moment of your time?" I asked, bowing my head a bit, not meeting his eye.

"Make it quick." Spot said, not unkindly.

"Well, Mutty hasn't been around for a bit and I was worried about him. I heard that you and him weren't on the level, and maybe you knew where he lived." I shifted on my feet.

He was silent for a moment. "You would do that, come all the way over here for a friend?"

"It wasn't that far." I excused myself.

"I'll show you myself." Spot grabbed his cane and led the way.

"I'm sorry if I'm takin' time away from you." I hoped that he wasn't mad at me.

"Anything for my dear friend Mutty." Spot said sarcastically.

I decided to ignore that comment. Spot was nice enough to show me where my friend lived and I wasn't going to pick at him.

"You ever been to the tenements of Brooklyn?" The older boy asked.

"I used to live in one." I answered. I didn't know why he asked that, but he didn't say anything after. We walked through the crowded and narrow streets. I recognized my old tenement from the yellow door with the hole. Spot stopped in front of one of the more rundown and trashy tenements, although most were that way.

"This is it. I think he's on the third level." Spot nodded at my thanks and walked slowly away.

I walked up the rickety stairs, dodging the children playing on them. When I got to the third level I stopped on the landing and stopped a child. "Do you know where Mutty… I mean Levi… lives? He's about fourteen, Irish?"

The girl shook her head, but a boy stepped up. "What do you want with him?" I was surprised at the mistrust in his voice.

"He's my friend. I'm a newsie in Manhattan."

"You Stripper?" He asked again.

"Yah, that's me." The boy approved of my answer and gestured for me to follow him. I studied him as I walked. He looked to be about ten years old or so, with Levi's green eyes and freckles. He had bright red hair, the brightest I've ever seen.

"Are you Mutty's brother?" I almost tripped over a basket of dirty laundry that took over half of the hallway.

"Yep, the name's Shaun." Shaun didn't say anything else, because he was opening a cracked door.

"Levi!" Shaun shouted loudly. "Levi, c'mere!"

Levi trudged into view holding a baby. He flushed bright red when he saw me, obviously embarrassed to be caught acting like a "girl."

"Hey, Levi. I was worried about you." Levi shrugged in response.

Levi looked exhausted. There were bags under his eyes and he had none of the usual jump in his step.

"What's wrong?" I asked. This wasn't like him.

"Ma died four days back. Da needs to be working at the factory."

"So you have to stay home and help." I finished for him.

"Leah's only twelve and she can't take care of the others by herself."

"I can help!" I volunteered.

"No, I wouldn't do that to you." Levi shook his head.

"Listen, Levi, I'm your friend. Friends help out each other. It's what I want to." I reached for the boy on his hip and transferred him to mine. "Start by telling me about your family."

"You're holding Alan. He's almost two." Alan was thin and frail. He had a crop of thick black hair and soft brown eyes.

"He's a cutie." I tickled Alan's nose and was graced by a huge smile.

"I'm eleven." Shaun held out his hand and I shook it.

"Leah? Come here for a minute. Bring the twins." A girl about my height came out from the other room, followed by two boys.

"Leah, this is…" Levi looked at me to see if I wanted to be called Stripper or not. I mouthed Max back to him. "…Max."

"Hello, Max." She had long black hair and brown eyes and was pretty. If I had been a boy, I bet I would have liked her that way.

"The twins are five. Patrick is the one with the black hair and Conner is the one with short hair." Levi laughed at Connor's face. Both the twins had dark blue eyes.

Conner scowled at the reference to his red hair, which was only about an inch long and somewhat spiky. "Wasn't my fault Ricky got mad at me!"

"Patrick shaved it off with Da's razor." Shaun told me with a grin.

"Maggie is playing with her friend but she's eight. You'll know her by her blond hair." Levi told me. To the others, he explained my being there. "Max is here to help out a bit. He's a newsie from where I work."

"Get some rest." I informed Levi. "You look awful."

"Oh, thanks." He grinned wryly. "Maybe I will." Levi sauntered into the other room.

I looked around the room I was in. It wasn't large at all. It had an iron stove in the corner, pipe reaching halfway up the wall and then going through it. A small wooden table and three chairs fit into the other corner. By the door, there was a cabinet that I suspected had the pots and dishes in it. One of the walls had a window that had no glass. The floor was dirty and needed to be swept. There were cobwebs on the ceilings and dirty dishes in a washtub on the floor.

Still holding Alan, I crossed the kitchen to look into the other room. It was hardly any bigger than the one I stood in now. A big bed took up most of the room, with an equally large, lumpy mattress under it. The sheets and blankets needed to be washed. Levi was already sleeping on the bed. There was a chest of drawers against the other wall. Three wooden slat crates were stacked against the same wall and a chest was at the end of the bed. I guessed that the clothes in the crates needed to be washed and mended.

I had been disguised as a boy for almost half a year now, but I was still a girl. I was glad of my feminine upbringing at times like these. Shifting little Alan on my hip, I grabbed a broom and began furiously sweeping.

"Shaun, can you get the cobwebs?" I asked him, seeing as he was taller than I was, even though he was about two years younger.

Groaning, he took the broom from me and attacked the corners in both rooms. I laughed at his antics.

"Leah, can you watch the kids for a bit? I'm gonna fetch some water." I handed Alan to her and grabbed a bucket. I clomped down the tenement stairs, headed to a pump that I had seen outside. When I got back to Levi's home, Shaun had finished the cobwebs and even the floors.

"Nice job." I told him, pouring the water over the dirty dishes in the washtub.

"Do you want me to get some more?" Shaun volunteered.

"Yes, please." I gratefully handed him the bucket and set to work on the dishes. Shaun had to make five more trips by the time I had finished the dishes. Leah washed out the inside of the kitchen cabinet with a wet rag and helped me stack the dishes inside of it.

"What are you planning to do with the water?" Shaun nudged the dirty dishwater with his foot. I gave him a mischievous look.

After we had poured the dishwater out the windows on unsuspecting passersby, I gathered all of the bedding. Shaun had to make even more trips, but he didn't complain this time. I guess he liked the game we played with the dirty water.

I washed all of the bedding, which wasn't much, then fluffed the thin, worn mattresses. While the bedding was drying, a young, blond girl who I took to be Maggie walked in.

She did a double take when she saw me. "Who are you?"

"I'm Levi's friend, here to help. I'm Max." I explained. Shaun nodded to confirm. Patrick and Conner ran up to Maggie, begging her to play. Maggie smiled and let them lead her to the bedroom, where their toys were.

"Let's think about supper then." I spoke out loud. Leah just stared at me.

"We ran out yesterday." Shaun looked down at the ground, ashamed.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out two quarters and a nickel. "I said I would help out. I meant it."

"Are you sure?" Leah asked, staring hungrily at the coins.

"Of course." I said firmly.

"Yes!" Shaun punched the air with his fist. "What'll we eat?"

"We can have whatever you want."

"Potatoes!" Leah smiled with anticipation of the meal.

"Sweet rolls and candy!" Shaun suggested.

"I want fruit!" Maggie pleaded from the other room.

"Me too!" Conner voiced.

"Anyway, I'll see what I can get. Does anyone want to come with me to the market?" I asked.

"Please, I want to go!" Leah begged and picked up a wicker basket.

Patrick walked out of the bedroom and grabbed Leah's hand.

"Do you want to come?" I thought maybe he did.

"Patrick doesn't talk, even to us." Shaun explained. "I bet he does want to go."

"Let's get going then." I led the way out of the apartment. After we were outside, I asked Leah a question. "Why doesn't he talk?"

"Ma used to say that the twins only had one voice between them and Conner took it for his own and refused to share it." Leah laughed. Her voice sounded a little sad, probably from remembering her ma.

"Is that it?" I wondered.

"I don't think so. We haven't had the money for the doctor to find out, but I don't think he wants to."

"Does he even have a voice?" Leah, Patrick, and me were almost to the stalls where the food was sold.

"He makes sounds sometimes. Once, he thought no one could hear him, but I heard him talking to a stray cat." Leah told me, lowering her voice so that Patrick wouldn't hear us talking about him.

Patrick wasn't listening and he tugged on Leah's arm. I followed his gaze and saw a stall with potatoes stacked high. I bought ten, for a half-cent apiece and set them in the basket. We also got two loaves of bread for a nickel. Leah didn't say anything, but I saw her gazing at a butcher shop. I picked out a soup bone that had enough meat on it to work for a stew and I bought cheap beans from a vendor.

I still had 29 cents left and figured that a couple sweet rolls wouldn't hurt. I paid a dime for nine rolls and some candy. I remembered that Maggie and Conner had wanted fruit and found some ripe apples. I bought as many as I could until my money ran out. I was holding the basket now, seeing as it was quite heavy.

We were greeted eagerly at the door and everyone volunteered to help cook. Shaun put a pot on to boil and Maggie and Leah readied the beans. I wisely tucked away the sweets because I knew what would happen to them if they were seen. I put the soup bone in the pot and watched it merrily bubble away.

Levi woke up when the smell start to spread throughout the two-room house. The spring was back in his step.

"Ah, Max, you shouldn't have." Levi said, but his heart wasn't in it. He helped me cut up the potatoes and put them in the stew.

"When is your Da gonna get home?" I asked.

"He gets home real late. The factory hours are bad." Shaun was stirring the stew and almost drooling.

"We should eat as soon as the stew's done then." Levi's voice was hopeful.

"Your decision." I told Levi. "You're older."

The truth was, I felt like I was in charge. Some people like that and I sometimes do too. Levi was older though, and this was his family. I felt that it was wrong to have everyone answering to me. I could help out, but I would not make all the decisions and boss them around.

Levi grinned at me. "Let's eat as soon as we can."

I put the bread and apples in the cabinet and got out the bowls and spoons. There weren't enough bowls to really go around, so Patrick and Conner shared one. At least they each had their own spoon.

The stew wasn't the best I'd ever had, but it still tasted okay after a day of hard work. Levi's family treated it like it was the best they'd ever had, probably because they hadn't eaten for a bit. Alan set on Levi's lap, who fed him bites from his own spoon. I thought that was cute, on both the boys' parts. It was kind of sweet.

Leah put some stew aside for her da and we got out the sweet rolls. Levi made the kids save the candy for the next day, so that they wouldn't get sick off of all the sugar.

After eating, Leah and I took a trip to the tenement toilet, bringing Maggie, Conner, Patrick, and little Alan. I won't go into details, but it was gross. The smell was awful and it was even filthier than any I've seen. No one was crazy enough to complain. Some tenements didn't even have bathrooms.

We put the kids to bed and Shaun, Levi, Leah, and me stayed up for about an hour after, just talking. We made fun of everything and nothing. For the first time, I really felt like I belonged in a family. Sure, the Jacobs were great, but it wasn't the same.

When everyone else was asleep, Leah and I giggled about Levi's soft snoring. As I dosed off, I really felt happy. It was as if I was one of the little birds, a starling, and I had found my nest.

I know it's kind of hard to keep the family straight, so here they are.

Levi 14 black hair, green eyes, known as Mutty to the newsiesLeah 12 black hair, brown eyes, pretty, quiet
Shaun 11 red hair, green eyes, sense of humor
Maggie 8 blond hair, hazel eyes
Patrick 5 black hair, blue eyes, doesn't talk
Conner 5 red hair, blue eyes,
Alan 2 black hair, brown eyes

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