Glance

Kaidan was still trying to get used to Commander Shepard's fighting style.

He himself had always favored the defensive, calculated approach. He preferred mobility, heightened awareness of the battlefield, and disruption of the enemy. After all, if your opponents didn't know where you were and couldn't fire back properly, then they weren't a threat to begin with. Instead of the heavy assault rifle most marines preferred, he carried a loadout of Electronic Counter Measures grenades, a good omni-tool, and a field medkit. Being a technician and a medic wasn't very glamorous, but he enjoyed the feeling that he was ahead of the game and valuable to his team. In previous postings he'd fought mostly with the rather staid tactics of larger squads, usually led by unimaginative officers who preferred a "stand-and-shoot-from-cover" approach, sometimes with automated gun drones for flavor. Often, they didn't seem to know quite what to do with a biotic, so he was usually relegated to defense, support, and dealing with the wounded.

Shepard was another story entirely. Back on Eden Prime, Kaidan might have been tempted to describe her approach to fighting as 'reckless', but he discarded the notion fairly early. Reckless soldiers didn't tend to live past mission one, never mind become officers and N7 special forces commandos. If it was recklessness, then it was the calculated kind. Her approach to small-unit attacks seemed to be one of shock; get into the enemy's space as fast and as hard as possible, then knock them down while they're still trying to compensate. The Commander also seemed particularly adept at picking out and destroying the lynch-pins of enemy forces.

And despite himself, he was still surprised at how well this seemed to work, regardless of the fact they were frequently outnumbered. Even the geth, who he assumed would be largely unflappable opponents, seemed flummoxed by this aggressive, short-range attack. Shepard herself fought with a tight, fierce intensity, picking targets and barking orders quickly and calmly even in the heat of battle. Kaidan sometimes imagined that anything that came under her laser focus would simply burst into flames of its own volition.

Determined to adapt and provide close support to his Commander, Kaidan did his best to keep up with the frenetic pace, even though it usually meant being outside of his comfort zone, if it could be said that there was such a thing in war. And so it was that he was still trying to adapt on the planet Sharjila, in a worn-down prefab warehouse that smelled of engine lubricant and unwashed people, under a hail of gunfire from undisciplined but determined mercenaries.

Still, the outcome was all but academic. Already he could feel the rhythm of the battle settling firmly in their favor as Wrex and Chief Williams pushed up the flank while he and Shepard kept pressure on the center.

"Alenko!"

Kaidan's head snapped around at the sound of his name, just in time to catch sight of Shepard's armored form barreling toward him in a half-crouch. The air was punched from his lungs as she shoulder-checked him into the dun metal supply crates to his right, and he heard the hiss and crackle of kinetic shielding being disrupted. Momentarily stunned, he flattened himself reflexively against the cover, trying to draw in the breath to ask what was happening. His answer came quickly enough.

Shepard had taken a half-step away to get a look around the heavy crate, but retreated hastily as the crack of another mass-accelerated slug impacted close by, distorting the crate's metal frame. In the tight space, she backed straight into him, holding her shotgun close against her chest. Kaidan stayed frozen, smelling the slight nip of ozone in the air as their armor-generated kinetic barriers intersected invisibly.

"Sniper on the upper level! Wrex, take him out!" The Commander called, quickly gesturing a mnemonic form with her right hand.

Her biotic corona flared, the blue-tinged field distorting her outline as it tightened into a protective barrier similar to his own, which he'd activated only moments before. Pressed up against Kaidan as she was, the two dark energy fields rolled and crawled against each other in a bizarre flare of sensation that made him abruptly, wildly aware of her. Biotically sensitive individuals were conscious of each other's fields to an extent, but being this close to another potent L2 as she manifested made his hair stand on end.

But the feeling lasted only a heartbeat. Picking her moment from variables that were beyond him, she bolted forward, vaulting neatly over the lower workbench and back out into the fray. Kaidan shook himself, feeling a well of frustration that he'd allowed himself to so badly lose situational awareness in the middle of a fight. Something in his visor HUD was trying to get his attention. Low on the left-hand side was a short list of abbreviated names listing each member of his squad, flanked by a set of indicators. One next to Commander Shepard's name was red- indicating a hardsuit breach. A chill flashed down his spine.

Deeper in the room, the chatter of gunfire was punctuated by the thudding of furniture and crates flying into the walls. "Sniper down." Wrex's voice rumbled over the comms. As usual, he sounded no more concerned by the nearby combat than if he were commenting on the weather.

Kaidan jogged around the cover of the crates, palming and priming an ECM grenade as he went, all the while trying to catch sight of Shepard. Abruptly, his kinetic shield crackled warningly, and a burst of impact slammed into his left side. Instinctively he dodged behind cover, cursing himself for being distracted. Luckily the shooter hadn't hit him squarely, and his shields and biotics had absorbed the worst of the slugs' kinetic energy. As a matter of reflex he executed the mnemonic form that reinforced his additional protective barrier of dark energy.

An indicator in his HUD told him that his overload charge was primed and transferred to the grenade. He thumbed it into the modified rail launcher along the lower barrel of his pistol, then cautiously poked his head around the support beam he hid behind.

The sleek form of a black-armored turian advanced toward his hiding place, assault rifle poised. Kaidan snapped off the ECM grenade and dodged back behind cover just as his opponent spotted him and fired back. A burst of mass accelerated rounds rang off of the metal beam. A moment later there was a buzzing crack as the ECM grenade detonated, and Kaidan's own shield hummed in protest at the explosion's proximity. Ignoring it, he whipped back around the beam and fired his pistol. The turian was still recovering from the brilliant blast, and his shields were depleted. Kaidan's first shot tore away the last bit of shield charge, and the next two punched neat holes in the smooth, featureless visor. The turian's head snapped back, and he collapsed in a heap.

Grimly satisfied, Kaidan moved past the dead slaver, prowling for a new target. The gunfire had ceased, but he knew better than to let his guard down.

Chief Williams' voice came over the comms, low and predatory. "Hey LT, we got someone pinned down over there, you see him?"

"No-" He started to reply, but as he came around another support beam he spotted the man crouched behind the thick metal workbench. Holding an assault rifle in one hand, the gray-armored human seemed to be fumbling with a grenade. "Wait, target sighted. Incoming," he said curtly.

Focusing on his target, Kaidan quickly passed his pistol to his left hand, gauging the distance and feeling for the subtle currents of gravity in the room. Generally, planet gravity wells were so large and stable that they posed no interference at all. In one smooth motion, he slid one foot forward into his set stance then swept his right hand around and up. A liquid rush ran up his torso and down his arm, an automatic response hard-won through relentless training, as the mutant nerve bundles in his body fired in sequence. The familiar, languid blue corona of light distortion enveloped him even as he felt the surge of exertion.

The air around the gray-armored man seemed to waver as the gravitational field neutralized, then inverted within the controlled dark energy vortex. His arms wind-milled helplessly as he tumbled into the air, along with a number of loose tools and a chair. Kaidan's squad-mates didn't wait. The chatter of two assault rifles rang out from across the room, and the unfortunate man's shields and armor were shredded in the ensuing hail of fire.

Kaidan didn't waste time watching the grim spectacle of the dead man spinning slowly in the blue-tinged air, along with his gun and a generous spray of blood. Instead he scanned the rest of the room, coming around wide to sweep the many potential hiding places along the back wall. After a few seconds, he felt the field weaken and give out, followed by the echoing thud and clatter as normal gravity re-exerted itself.

"Clear over here, Commander," Williams reported.

"Negative contacts," Kaidan added.

"Alright, regroup."

Pistol still ready, Kaidan walked toward the center of the prefab warehouse. Shepard stood there, scanning the room. Her shotgun was clipped to the back of her waist and she carried her pistol instead. Kaidan recognized why immediately- a stream of blood ran down from a wound in her left shoulder, standing out starkly against the light gray Scorpion armor. He felt a lurch in his gut, and controlled an urge to run over to her.

"Commander, you're hit," Ashley said, striding over.

As if suddenly aware of it, Shepard passed her pistol to her left hand and reached over to clamp a hand over the wound. "Nothing major. Wrex, sweep upstairs," Shepard ordered, "And Chief, check that back room. We don't want surprises."

"Aye aye, ma'am." The Chief turned quickly and jogged toward the door. Wrex, for his part, merely grunted, but nonetheless headed for the stairs to the second level.

Head still humming from the adrenal rush of combat, Kaidan approached close enough to cover the Commander in case of trouble, then punched up his holographic omni-tool display. A quick scan searched for active hardsuit signatures that didn't correlate with those of his squad-mates, but came back with no hits. He shut off the display. A moment later Ashley came out of the back room, her face twisted into an expression of disgust. She was fingering her rifle as if eager to find someone new to ventilate.

"Clear." She said tightly, "Looks like they keep prisoners in there. Empty now, though."

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "So no sign of Dahlia, unless that's her." She indicated a dead woman in dark red armor a little ways away with a thrust of her chin. Kaidan glanced over and was startled to see that the face under the helmet visor was asari-blue. "And if it is," Shepard continued darkly, "then our dear diplomat was either sadly misinformed, or is using me to clean up her dirty laundry."

"Hah!" Ashley's mouth twisted into a sneer, "If she didn't know then I'll eat my uniform."

Wrex's bass, rumbling chuckle came over the comms. "Now that would be amusing to watch, Williams. All clear up here, Shepard. Found your sniper, gun's bigger than he is. Looks expensive."

"Yeah? Bring it down," Chief Williams said. She surveyed the scene, then moved off, going from one body to the next and checking out their equipment.

Deciding they were safe enough, Kaidan reached over his shoulder, unclipped the medkit from its resting place on his back, and took a few steps closer to where Shepard stood.

"Commander?" he ventured, and when she turned to look at him, he gestured to her shoulder.

"Yeah, go ahead." She lowered her right hand away from the wound, where she'd been holding it shut.

Kaidan forced himself into the clinical detachment he'd cultivated over his years of experience dealing with wounded soldiers- it was almost an instinctual response now. He evaluated the damage. The sniper round had hit the joint between the harder protective plates, penetrating the woven undersuit. Thankfully, her armor's kinetic shield had bled off a significant amount of the projectile's energy, so the tissue trauma was minor. He'd seen what high-powered sniper rifles did to unarmored targets, and it wasn't pretty. Shepard grimaced slightly as he carefully closed the wound with some medi-gel.

"This shot was meant for me, wasn't it, ma'am?" he asked evenly, selecting a temporary patch from his kit that would re-seal the suit against the harsh outdoor environment. The hole was small enough that it would do the job without the worry of decompression.

She nodded slightly. "Given the choice between this and your head, I think we got a good deal."

Kaidan swallowed, suppressing his consternation. "I suppose… I can't argue with that," he said ruefully. "But I should have seen it."

"Like you've said, Lieutenant, luck. Bad or good," she offered, reviving his own words from their short conversation after the Eden Prime debacle. "This time it was on our side."

Kaidan focused on his work, holding at bay the noise of 'what ifs' that tried to force their way into his head. He finished applying the patch, stopping short of reflexively telling her to check the seal before going outside. I'm sure an N7 knows how this works.

"Thank you. Ma'am." He said sincerely, looking up from his handiwork. Shepard favored him with a smile that sent a little spike of warmth right through his precarious detachment to wash down his back. She nodded curtly in acknowledgment, turning away as the sound of Chief Williams' boots approached them.

Kaidan took a few steps away, looking around the room but not really seeing it. A welter of thoughts was boiling in his head. Rationally, he knew she was right- that was the way combat went, sometimes all the training in the world didn't make a difference. Saving each other's lives from the moment-to-moment threats of war was part of fighting as a squad. Still, frustration and embarrassment gnawed at him. Lose concentration in the middle of a warzone, then get bent out of shape at the sight of a nearly insignificant wound, what the hell is wrong with-

Oh.

Despite himself, the realization crystallized in his head.

Great. Perfect. Brilliant. My commanding officer.

He clenched his jaw, staring sightlessly down at the dead asari only a few feet away. In truth, he'd probably known it for a little while now, but never quite crossed the line of admitting the attraction to himself. The bits and pieces had been too easy to rationalize- eagerness to please a respected CO, the thrill of working with a renowned N7 marine and now Spectre, professional curiosity toward another biotic... But he'd been alive more than long enough to know when things were getting out of hand. The fluttery feeling that appeared in his stomach whenever she so much as looked at him was unmistakable.

I didn't need this. Commander fucking Shepard. He chewed his lip distractedly. Fine. It's there. Keep your head down, don't make an idiot of yourself, get the job done and once it's all over if it hasn't gone away you can quietly transfer the hell out of here. The thought of leaving the Normandy didn't appeal in the least. Yeah, right. Like this kind of thing ever just goes away-

"Picturing her without her armor on, LT?" Chief Williams' teasing tone cut abruptly through his reverie.

"What? No!" he said too quickly, head snapping up. Ashley regarded him coolly, the hint of an amused smile tugging at her mouth. Suppressing an irritable retort, he continued evenly, "Just thinking."

He looked back down at the asari's slack features, actually seeing them this time. She was beautiful in the same way that all asari were, the kind of surreal perfection that was as alluring as it was disconcerting. At some point, she'd had the blue pigmentation of her skin altered into a pattern like he'd seen on the faces of other asari on the Citadel, though the dead woman's choice of design gave her a decidedly fiercer mien. Still, it was strange to see the glassy glaze of death in the eyes of one of these ethereal aliens.

Ashley nudged the recumbent form with one armored toe. "So little miss perfect here is a slaver. Can you imagine?" she said, her voice thick with disgust. "So much for peace and negotiation, huh?"

"Greed can get its fingers into anyone, I guess," Kaidan replied, frowning. Jerks and saints, just like us.

The Chief snorted. "You'd think with a thousand years to live, you could find a better way to make money than selling lives. What a joke."

"One less bad joke in the galaxy, then," Shepard cut in, walking up to them. "Lieutenant, there's a terminal over there I'd like cracked open." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder toward the back of the prefab warehouse. "I think we can all guess what's going on here, but I'd like to know for sure. And if this is part of a larger ring, then we need to get this info to someone who can do something about it."

"Aye aye, ma'am," Kaidan said, turning on his heel and striding gratefully away from Ashley's bemused stare. A sullen ache was settling into his ribs where the gunfire had hit him. Fitting company, he thought sourly, for his turbulent state of mind.

Just as well that they would soon be out of here.