The Schizophrenia Corollary
Emile stuck her fork into a box of chow mien, happily indulging in the Chinese take-out. Leonard watched her eat, himself spearing a piece of beef in a marinade of sweet-and-sour sauce. Sheldon ignored both of them, trying to figure out if his orange chicken did, in fact, taste like oranges.
Penny eyed Emile curiously. She was acting mellower than she had earlier, and hadn't directed any insults at Leonard at all. But then again, Penny realized as she ate some rice, she hadn't spoken to Leonard. Even if Emile had changed, she was still sour.
At least Emile looked nothing like the kind of girl Penny feared she'd be. She was blonde, but the similarities ended there.
"Penny, Sheldon tells me you work at a Cheesecake Factory?" Emile asked politely. Penny almost dropped her food in shock, but smiled.
"Yeah, that's what I do."
"…Did you meet Leonard there?"
Leonard dropped a piece of beef back into its carton. Penny glanced at Leonard before responding.
"No, I met him when I moved in next door," Penny responded.
Emile raised an eyebrow. "Ah."
Penny returned to her rice, unsure of what to make of Emile.
"…Where are Koothrapali and Wolowitz?" Sheldon suddenly asked, as if some synapse in his brain had broken. "Weren't they supposed to be coming at seven? It is now seven-twenty-three."
Leonard looked around nervously. "I… um… I rescinded the invitation?"
Penny blinked before sighing. "Thank GOD."
"Wait, wait, who are -?" Emile began to ask.
"Raj is a nice guy, a very nice guy," Penny admitted. "But you do NOT want to meet Wolowitz."
Emile bit her lip. "Wait, what?"
"Why did you rescind the invitation?" Sheldon asked Leonard.
"Because… well, I didn't want to overwhelm Emile as soon as she got here!" Leonard replied.
"So having our two best friends over would be overwhelming for someone with an intellect like hers?"
"Wolowitz is a pervert."
"A big pervert," Penny emphasized.
Emile ate some more noodles, staring straight ahead.
"That's no reason to rescind an invitation to both of them. Just rescind the one for Wolowitz. And you're blowing things out of proportion anyway."
"No we aren't. Sheldon, she just got here!" Penny emphasized.
"She's a genius, I think she can handle herself, Penny."
"Sheldon, for God's sake, wouldn't it be better to just let a few days pass before she meets everyone?" Leonard inquired.
"I appreciate the level of concern you all have for me, but acting like I'm not here while you argue about your varying degrees of interest and the perversion of some of your colleagues is a bit belittling," Emile said in a loud voice.
The other three looked at her. Emile got up and retreated into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Penny put a hand on her chin. "Hmm. Well, isn't that interesting."
"She's going to kill me by the end of this week," Leonard said. "That's not interesting, that's disastrous."
"No, not that," Penny murmured. "It's just that… she's acting way differently than earlier today."
"She is?" Leonard said.
"Yeah, of course. She was so startled by seeing Leonard that she lost all sense of civility. Coupled with the jet lag, it turned her into a bit of a bitch," Sheldon agreed.
Penny gaped at him. "You knew that the entire time?"
"She's not particularly hard to read," Sheldon said before poking at another piece of orange chicken.
Leonard's turn to gape at Sheldon. "So that whole thing where she was insulting me in the airport –"
"Her body's way of dealing with shock. She does it all the time. She did it the first time she met you, remember? She pushed you down a hill and laughed when you sprained your ankle."
Penny looked back at the bathroom. The toilet had just flushed. "I guess Emile has gotten used to seeing Leonard."
"Yes, that's why she's ignoring him as best she can," Sheldon replied.
Leonard picked at some rice. "How is it that you can know all this about Emile but can't be bothered to deal with the personality quirks of others?"
"Emile talks too much," Sheldon answered. "Far, far too much."
Penny giggled. "Too much information?"
Leonard shifted in his seat. "So she told you everything?"
"Unfortunately."
"Then why did you think it was okay to have her stay here for two weeks?!"
"Because
I obviously missed some sociological convention that would
necessitate her staying somewhere else."
Emile emerged from the
bathroom, wringing her hands. The conversation immediately ceased.
At least, until Penny spoke.
"So, what are you going to be doing while you're down here?" Penny asked.
Emile smiled weakly. "I'm going to be working in the CalTech biology lab a lot. I have to keep my samples and evidence cared for. Other than that… I really don't know."
Penny smirked. "So you'll be working in the same building as Sheldon and Leonard."
Leonard glared at Sheldon. "Did you invite her there?"
"No,
Dr. Gablehauser did," Sheldon responded in an undertone to match
Leonard's. "You're extremely neurotic, you know."
"I'm
extremely neurotic."
"I just said that."
-o-
Emile washed off some of the plates everyone had used to eat, feeling obligated to do so. No one back home did it, so it was usually her job to clear the table.
Today she was joined by Leonard.
Emile let the faucet water run over a plate, taking remnants of food with it. She tried to avoid looking at him, but her will wasn't that strong. Leonard was drying plates, so they had to interact on some level.
"Here," Emile said, handing over a plate.
"Thanks," Leonard responded, still sour.
There was a protracted silence.
"…I'm sorry," Emile finally said. "Sorry about treating you like crap."
Leonard looked up in shock. "Are you apologizing?"
"Yes," Emile answered quickly. "I was a bit… well, Sheldon didn't tell me you were going to be here."
Leonard grumbled. "He tends to forget things like that."
"I was in shock, and I reacted badly," Emile continued unabated. "When I'm surprised, I kind of…"
"I know. You did the same thing when you pushed me down a hill. And then when you tried to poison me."
Emile bit her lip. "That was… that was really bad." She sighed, scraping some leftover rice down the sink. "I wish I could do that whole day over."
"Too late now." Leonard shrugged. "Besides, it probably worked out for the better."
"Yeah. We'd've broken up eventually."
"What makes you say that?"
"We're diametrically opposed. You're semi-normal and kind-hearted. I'm a raving lunatic with no filtering system and no particular interest in anyone but myself."
"You have such a high opinion of yourself."
"Sheldon told me that."
Leonard rolled his eyes. Yet another thing to ask him about.
Emile handed Leonard another plate. "But after these two weeks, we probably won't see each other again."
Leonard frowned. "You sound depressed."
"I'm not," Emile admitted, "not at all. I'd be perfectly okay with never speaking to you again, in fact. But… I've wanted to apologize for that day we broke up for a while. I had no reason to be so… homicidal."
Leonard was stunned speechless.
"I know you'll never forgive me. And I'm okay with that. I just wanted to apologize," Emile finished, washing off the last plate.
Leonard went back to drying the plate in his hand. Penny was right. Emile had changed from raving maniac to Sheldon-level jerk to repentant woman.
Leonard wondered if she had schizophrenia.
A/N: Once again, into the mind of the twisted sociopath that is Emile Portmanteau. I like this chapter because it plants the seeds for Emile's main personality trait, namely her explosive and sudden mood swings. Should be entertaining, no?
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. Emile is my own OC, however.