Writer's note: this chapter is rated M for sexual themes
The Phantom hung in space, drifting without a destination.
Tayleen was in the medical bay, having Lokin run a check-up on a blood sample. She rolled her sleeve down and stood from the cot.
"I'm honored you would trust me as your medical advisor," said the bio-engineer, "although I would insist you consult a medic specialised in Twi'lek biology for a more complete scan."
"You're my health specialist for now," she told him, irritated. "Let's keep my physical status limited to this present crew."
The blood sample was done being analysed by his machine. Lokin rubbed his chin and watched the resulting numbers on his holoscreen.
"Everything seems normal, Agent. I'll dare to say, you've been under a great deal of stress as of late. That could impact your vitality despite regular exercise and balanced diet." He extracted the vial of blood from his analyser, it was of a dark purple, almost blue color. "Do with this as you will. I haven't the heart to keep your genetic material in my lab. Who knows what sort of accident could happen."
She suspiciously eyed his incubation vat. Lokin was known for his cloning skills and tempering with DNA. She took the glass vial half full of her blood and took a breath.
"What can you tell me about Rattataki genetics?"
He raised a gray eyebrow. "You'll have to be more specific. I've had several encounters with Rattataki men, and of course we have Miss Kaliyo on board, though she would never let me approach with my sample kit."
"I may have come in contact with one," she added carefully. "Is there any risk of contageous diseases, bacteria?"
She was grasping at straws, looking for an excuse to keep her distances. Lokin rubbed his hairy chin.
"How close of a contact?" he asked.
Tayleen lowered her brow and folded her arms together. The signal was clear to Lokin who raised his palms in defense.
"Apologies, Agent. You have the right for privacy. After all, I'm not your doctor."
"And you aren't my father."
"Clearly..." he took a moment to think. "The Rattataki species is a different branch of the near-Human family, and there have been attempts at producing hybrids between us and Rattataki. To create super Humans, you could say. Or subpar Rattataki. All experiments have failed, however. I've only read of these science projects from old reports. They helped discover the highly efficient immune system of the Rattataki, and their high metabolism. Much like the Twi'lek, as a matter of fact."
His words rang in her mind as she felt dazed in the memory of that instant in the dark, smelling, feeling and tasting the man she cared about. The man who had slipped through her fingers and disappeared three days ago.
"Agent?" repeated Lokin. "Does that answer your question?"
She only wondered further about him. "Yes, for the most part."
It didn't matter now.
"With all due respect, Agent," began Lokin, "I suspect your meeting with Darth Skordus has affected you. I highly recommend you to rest, and maybe keep your mind occupied with practical matters."
"Has everyone been talking behind my back?" she asked him, expecting to intimidate the scientist.
"Only all the time for the past week," he answered candidly. "We worry and care about you."
"Yes," she acknowledge humbly. "And I appreciate that. I only wish it weren't so difficult to handle, let alone managing a whole crew while dealing with a crisis."
"Whatever you decide," Lokin added with a smile, "I will support you, Agent. If I gathered the pieces right, I think you should know that you are young, with a life full of adventure ahead. Do not waste it wondering what could have been."
Pride made her shrug off the old man's advice while her shame took her to isolation in her cabin again. It wasn't like her to bluntly kiss a stranger. Her mind was going on a spiral and thinking practically meant going for another errand run, perhaps even a hunt. Her computer system was online and she opened her comms. How many times did she read that last message again? She hadn't the heart to answer, or to do anything about the invitation Skordus sent her.
Essan, that was the name he wanted her to call him. Who else called him that way? She was Tayleen for her friend Kaliyo since formality and titles never worked with the mercenary. What was the use for him to know her name?
"You're gonna turn blind staring at that screen."
Startling in her seat, Tayleen twisted her neck to see Kaliyo leaning in the door frame. Had it been open all along or did she also turn deaf from her own thoughts? She slowly stood and invited her in.
"I feel trapped in a standstill," she explained, tired of hiding her emotions. "I don't want to lose what we achieved so far."
"You think going on vacation will make us turn on you for some reason," rephrased Kaliyo. "We have our own lives to tend to, you know that."
"Part of me was hoping that I would find my family among this crew and not feel lost anymore." Tayleen blinked and shook her head. "Serves me right for assuming too much."
"Ah, family," Kaliyo chuckled. "It's over-rated anyway. You don't choose your family, but you pick the people you like best for the ride."
Resisting the pull to switch off her computer, she eyed Kaliyo with cautious hope that her friend wouldn't judge her too harshly.
"Am I going insane or did he play a trick on me?"
"You made him come aboard," reminded Kaliyo, "when you could have stayed on his ship. Relax, we all have hormones and feelings. My guess is you denied your needs for so long you forgot what it's like. Cipher."
"You're right," Tayleen admitted in defeat.
"One thing, though," added the merc. "I spoke to your Sith and he sounded angry when I asked if he was using you. Not the evil kind of angry. I think he was scared to cause trouble."
Tayleen narrowed her eyes and sat on the edge of her bed. "What does it all mean?"
"I mean he cares about you, from what I gathered. You seem confused as all hell so I thought I'd add my two creds."
"And you're not against it?"
Puffing with irony, Kaliyo shook her white, bald head. "Love and feelings are always a bad idea in this galaxy. Of course I'm against you hooking up with some guy, and from the looks of it that won't just be a hook up. This could lead to some serious, dark warmongering, shady business."
Her words only made her heart sink in a bottomless pit. Kaliyo, seeing Tayleen bury her face in her hands, softened her voice.
"But I'll be around if you need help dealing out your shady business. I'll fix your makeup, go shopping for a nice dress and you'll make me your maid of honor or something."
"I'm not getting married," Tayleen bitterly protested.
"Then why so nervous?"
"I just..." she sighed, hiding her trembling hands in her lap. "I've never been with anyone before."
Kaliyo smirked and propped a hand on one hip. "Oh, you're scared about that! You don't even know if it's a male or a female. Or what species..."
"Rattataki," she snapped, turning her eyes away.
"Ah... Ah," Kaliyo hesitated, this time she apparead confused as well. "Sorry to break it to you, kid. But if that's a Rattataki, it's going to hurt. And you better use protection 'cause I know for a fact there have been Twi'lek hybrids on our world."
"Are you sure?"
Tayleen watched with her mouth agape as Kaliyo nodded with the first stern expression on her face that day.
"It's not a hundred percent compatible match," she explained, "sometimes the pregnancies don't go through, but it can work. And the hybrids, well... It's a lottery for who wins the best genetic package. Most of them become rejects, you know. Society just loves different."
It was more than she could handle in just a minute. Tayleen squeezed her eyes shut and shook her lekku.
"I can't take all of these risks. You're right, following our feelings is stupid. I'll just erase him from my memory."
Kaliyo cleared her throat with a disagreement. "A memory wipe - again? You barely found out who you were. You need to literally get a life."
"But it's not worth it." Tayleen stood and shut down her comm station.
"Fine, then. Keep being depressed but don't drag us all down with you." She walked towards the door. "You got pull with a top Sith, if I were you I'd use that opportunity to do something good. After all, it's what you taught me all this time."
The mercenary had changed over the years. Tayleen had a large part in that evolution though she insisted that her crew would remain free of their decisions while working. Her own were driven by justice. It was time to keep up with her motive.
She drove her speeder bike across the skyscrapers of Dromund Kaas, battered by the ever falling rain. Drenched and nervous, she stopped at her destination: the platform of one apartment located in the outskirts of the city. There was a hangar where other speeders were parked. Entering the energy portal, she felt a gust of warm wind instantly drying her clothes. No one was there to welcome her until she heard metallic footsteps coming her way.
"Hello, Ma'am. I am 2V-R3 ready to introduce you to Lord Skordus's quarters. My master is busy at this time and has commanded me to give you a tour of his illustrous home."
One of the ceiling lights was broken and hung from wires, blinking alarmingly.
"Just lead me to him," she told the overly formal droid.
"Ah, right this way, Ma'am."
She climbed a few steps and walked after her guide through a hallway. At the end of that hallway she was in a dimly lit room with a bay view of Kaas City. It was less damp there, and she heard the crackling of fire.
"Master," called 2V, "your guest is here. I'm terribly sorry for disrupting your moment of preparation but you instructed me to do as she desired, and I couldn't refuse to bring her here."
Following the droid, Tayleen found Skordus sitting at a large desk, under the light of a tall standing lamp. He stood as soon as she saw him and dismissed the droid.
"I'm glad you accepted my invitation."
"I admit I was curious to see how a Sith lives." Looking around, she was pleasantly surprised to see a dining table, a drinking bar and a fireplace. "But I came here to talk business."
"Of course," he acquiesced, clapsing his hands over his belt. "I believe we were about to bring justice upon criminals."
She fought to read his intentions through his mask but resorted to taking his word for face value. Blinking thoughtfully, Tayleen began speaking.
"I would like to take your offer about spending time here, if it still stands."
"That can be arranged," he nodded again.
"Being close to Intelligence headquarters does rattle me, slightly. I'm hoping to find my own place within the week."
"This is the heart of the Empire," reminded Skordus. "I am expected to live here, and so are you. Your presence would not disrupt anything."
"And not your reputation, either?" she inquired.
He shrugged his armored shoulders. "I've kept all of my companions at bay for years. From the word on the street, I may as well be a sexless droid."
Tayleen couldn't contain her surprised amusement and chuckled.
"I'm the same way."
He paused and looked at her, tilting his hooded, masked head. It was hard to believe that they had kissed.
"Then you should by all means feel welcome here. I had 2V set up your room upstairs. There isn't much in terms of furniture, though."
As long as she had access to a personal bathroom with running hot water, she thought.
"Do you spend a lot of time here?" she asked, motioning the room in which they were currently standing.
"Yes, but I can move my office space to a different part of the house."
"I'd like to see my room if that's alright."
It was a huge apartment, with way too much space for one occupant alone. They climbed the stairs spiraling towards the last level with access to a terrasse.
"You have so many plants and trees," she noted, touching a large leaf from one of the potted plants near the bay window. "But no storage or decoration?"
Skordus stopped in his stride towards a central door to look at her. "I have nothing to store or decorate. This way."
Her room was a large one on the right side of two others. The high window overlooked the forest with pathways and a few lower buildings. A single bed was next to a small cabinet and glass end table. There also was a work desk with a seat of Czerka make.
"The refreshers are behind the door on the right," he said, pointing at it. "You can hail 2V for food and drink at any time. My room is right next door if you ever need anything."
He turned away as she raised an eyebrow.
"Thank you," she politely replied.
When he left her there she realized she hadn't packed a change of clothes. The idea of spending the night felt foreign and ill-mannered. And he seemed so distant and strange to her. Not even his outfit could conceal that he was completely lost in her presence.
Being in an almost empty house without a mission or target made her uneasy. She strolled along the windows in the wide room bathed in warm light, smelling the humid soil of the potted vegetation. She heard the hiss of a door opening behind her.
"Robbers would be disappointed if they broke in," she joked.
Skordus came near, hands clapsed in his back. "These trees are worth a lot of credits. The Dromund Kaas climate is not exactly suitable for gardening."
"So, you like flora?"
"They're simple, easy to deal with." He turned his mask towards her. "Would you like to eat dinner?"
It was the evening and she had woken up merely hours ago. She nodded and followed the Sith downstairs to his living quarters. She wasn't excited; this time she might see his face and it could change her attitude. She couldn't let that happen.
"Will you be joining me?" she asked, sitting at the table as 2V brought her a dish and cuttlery.
Skordus sat across from her and waited as she laid eyes upon her meal of steamed vegetables, protein patty of diverse origins and a sauce she thought was sweet and sour.
"I'm still divided about the feelings I have," he slowly spoke. "The more I think about our interactions, the less I find meaning in a relationship. We shared a moment, but it didn't have to be more than it was."
His words were all that she had hoped to hear but they stole the appetite right from her stomach.
"I don't care that we kissed," she bluntly replied. "I'm here because I found you kind and intelligent. I'm happy to have known you when I had the chance."
"Oh," he said, perplexed. "I may have misled myself thinking you'd lost interest."
"Coming here wasn't easy." Tayleen took a breath and riveted her eyes upon him. "But I thought I'd investigate and learn before jumping to conclusions."
"For what purpose should you investigate me?" he asked, almost amused in his tone.
"You know a large part of my life," she retorted bitterly. "If you will become part of it, I should know yours."
He sat back against his seat. "Very well. Ask away, Cipher."
"Have I not told you my name yet?" She remarked, smirking. "It's Tayleen. Tayleen Pansahu."
It was strange hearing herself revealing that name so casually. The Sith in front of her nodded without a word. Tayleen drummed her fingers on the table, waiting and mentally debating with herself.
"How do you feel about starting a family?"
The mask tilting down before nodding again.
"I've thought about it, recently. I'm not averse to the idea."
"Just to be clear I'm not laying down any plans," defensively said Tayleen. "Though I did learn that it was possible for my species to bear Rattataki children."
Except that she never before thought of herself as a child bearer. Upon seeing Skordus fold his arms on the table, she breathed calmly and smiled with curiosity.
"You would make that sacrifice?" he asked. "Putting your life aside to become a mother?"
She scoffed, almost exaggeratingly so. "I wouldn't be alone."
"There is adoption."
"Wouldn't you want the offspring to possess your powers?"
"I would want them to be healthy," he replied. "And safe."
Tayleen felt her cheeks warming up. "My life is in shambles," she began to explain. "I've been going insane from working with Intelligence and here we are. I'm ready to start something bigger."
"You would put yourself at risk," Skordus told her. "Are you sure you're ready for such a committment?"
"I don't think anyone is entirely ready," she spoke with a tight chest.
He slowly stood and paced around to look through his windows, still drummed by the rain fall. Tayleen left the table as well. Below, the city looked asleep and calm in the night, devoid of warmongering and treachery. Being up there with her Sith - her friend - she felt safe.
"When becoming Sith, I never once thought I could still have a normal life. And here you are."
He turned to face her, close enough that she could smell the faint scent of metal and rugged fabric off his armor.
"Who said anything about normal?" she rhetorically asked.
"Ah," he chuckled, and turned his mask away again.
Tayleen touched his gloved hand and they both looked down, fingers enterlacing.
"You still haven't seen my face."
"It's true," she smiled to hide anxiety. "And I don't need to."
Standing became awkward when her legs begged to run or sit, and heat overcame her body. Tayleen knew herself well enough that she could either repress her urges or share them openly, shamelessly, and trust that the person next to her would not judge her behavior. The thought was terrifying.
They sat in front of the fireplace, and she took seat upon his midsection, slowly and hesitantly unfastening her trousers beforehand. Skordus leaned back against the couch, letting go of his own inhibitions as he released the cod piece of his armor. His clothing was more practical than it appeared, and Tayleen gasped at her own arousal, then upon discovering his body.
"This isn't how I imagined," Skordus reflected, running a gloved hand up her bare thigh.
"If it doesn't work between us," she said between breaths, "I could say I never knew you."
"Convenient." He shuddered under her, and she felt each of his shivers and pulses. "You could still betray me."
Tayleen almost laughed sardonically and wanted to gag him, but obviously that mask would get in the way. She slid up and pressed down again, sighing.
"I don't want to hurt you, Sith."
"And neither do I."
They took their time finding the right ways to make things work for both of them. Her mind was spinning from her beating heart, straddling over someone she barely knew still mostly covered in a Sith combat suit, himself panting and grunting with restraint.
There was no clock to check and she swore that time stood still before he produced a sound that felt like a growl next to her face. She felt heaved up and was placed down on her backside to see him getting decent again.
"Not here," he calmly objected.
Tayleen pulled up her pants with a pang of regret and shame. Her heart jumped when she was taken and her feet left the ground, carried as a bride and the world spun. She took balance hanging from the neck of her host, traveling up the flight of stairs as they both laughed. It didn't seem like she weighed anything to him.
Then, she got better acquained with the room that was not meant for her, and it looked smaller than the guest room. But once her back touched the bedding she took off her clothes, throwing them wheverer they may land in the less than dim lighting. Pieces of armor fell to the floor as she did so, and soon she gazed at the pale form of a tall man looming over her, hairless, sculpted like the statue of some alien god. She felt a warm, stale breath and tasted dry lips as she fell backwards under his lust.
She knew that kiss, she welcomed it with joy, pulling that bald head down so that she could respond to it. Powerful hands stroked her flesh and curves until they found her errogenous zones. Tayleen gave in to him, pressing her pelvis upward. The first attempt coaxed her into a forceful penetration that did not last. They were simply not made for one another. It took three more unsuccessful tries and a long hour of sensual stimulation before she was adapted to his size and girth, barely sheathing half of his length.
They both exerted themselves for most of the night. And they lied together to recover, pushing the blanket off to the floor from the heat and sweat. Tayleen stared at the dark ceiling, panting for air, until she felt fingers brushing her cheekbone. She looked to her left side.
His eyes were dark and narrow, his forehead large and brow low over a short nose that was somewhat crooked. His lips were thin and stretched to a smile that brought a shine to his eyes. Tayleen reached out to touch his cheek, his strong jaw, his chin. She wondered how could she see him so clearly when all lights were off. She even wondered if she was dreaming. He still did not seem real.
It was the first time she kissed him knowing what he looked like, feeling a fire burning in her heart if she wasn't having a side-effect from mating with someone outside her species. She refused to fall in love with him, she couldn't afford to.
Someone who was Force sensitive, a Sith. The man gave her pleasure and she enjoyed giving it back. All she could hear were their breathing, voices and wet parts touching. His stamina was impressive, undoubtedly improved by his Force abilities.
They finished in the shower, deciding that they needed to be clean before sleep, but more nudity meant more love-making. This time, Tayleen relished upon the appearance of her partner, exploring each nook and cranny as they washed. He did so in return, taking special care with her intimacy during that trying time. Pinned against the black tiles, she was held by her thighs and bottom, clutching at his back while he was pressing himself to her, hilted and swelling her lower abdomen.
She cried out in need for his release, climaxing around him and with no room to fully enjoy her own completion. He let her slide out of his arms, gently positioning himself behind her to resume pushing in and out of her. Out of strength or will to stay standing, she got to her knees and rested her head on her folded arms, feeling the lukewarm floor, water dripping down her face. Her behind was up and Essan braced himself on it. She knew she was more dilated than she had ever been in her life, and that healing would be an issue for the next days.
She didn't know how she would feel about him in the morning. They had to make the best of that night.
She awoke to the sound of light snoring, twisting her neck to see his face turned upward, mouth open slightly while he seemed to breathe with difficulty through his nose. His cough told her that sleeping on his back was not ideal for him. Pulling his arm around her shoulder, she nudged herself backward until he would be spooning her body and they both felt comfortable enough to sleep until morning.
To her own surprise, she was first to rise the next day. Sunlight couldn't pierce through the thick stormclouds but she saw Essan peacefully lying beside her, the blanket covering him up to his neck. Slowly, she slid out of bed to stagger towards the refreshers, still numb all over. Her first realizations woke her up completely when she was sitting on the commode, taking note of the foreign matter that expelled as she emptied her bladder. She dared not look in the bowl before flushing.
"That's what you wanted," she mumbled to herself, inspecting her tired face in the mirror.
Her body looked spent while otherwise taught and dynamic. She felt the urge to cover her breasts that fell heavily on her ribcage. There was redness around her labia but she didn't hurt as much as expected. She splashed water on her face and inspected the counter and cabinets, hoping to find mouth wash but she ended up investigating the morning routine of Darth Skordus. There was mosturizer lotion, dental care brushes, eye drops, nasal sprays... She almost yawned.
She waited a moment before leaving the bathroom, not knowing what she would see when looking upon the bed. There was a light knock on the door and she startled. In a split-second thought, she used a towel to cover herself and opened the door.
He was standing in front of her wearing a short-sleeved black top and underpants and she had to tear her gaze from his groin.
"Were you about to shower?" he asked with a voice that sounded weaker than she remembered.
"No," she answered, embarrassed as she stepped out to leave him the room. "I'm done."
He rubbed a knuckle on his left eyelid. "How are you feeling?"
"Good, and yourself?"
Blinking rapidly, he looked at her with a smile that seemed strange on his face.
"Never better."
Tayleen recalled the sensations of him, down there, as they were together in state of near-transe. She contracted before more fluid would slide out as she moved around the bedroom, gathering her clothes. Perhaps she would soon become pregnant, she mindlessly wondered. She would have to plan her new wardrobe accordingly.
Later that day she stood outside on the landing ramp. Her uniform had a small hood that protected her from the rain but only so much. Minutes passed and her face was wet and cold.
The sound of an approaching speeder took her attention to the east and she smiled as she saw the rider arrive. Kaliyo zoomed passed her and landed, looking up at the apartment.
"Not bad," she commented with her usual sly tone. "And you came here thinking you wouldn't stay the night?"
Her Rattataki friend passed her a duffle bag. Tayleen sighed with relief.
"I didn't want to impose. Thanks, Kaliyo."
"Sure, I didn't have any plans anyway." She propped a hand over her hip with protest. "You're not letting me in, are you?"
"To be fair, I didn't warn him that you would come by."
"Please," Kaliyo said, raising her hands up. "It's not like I'd stick my nose into your bed sheets."
Tayleen practically followed her inside, letting the door shut behind her as she held the bag against her stomach in embarrassment. They arrived in the lounge with all the plants and trees where they sat on the couch.
"Well, well," Kaliyo commented, looking around. "No furniture, no distractions... I know what you've been up to."
"Can we not talk about this here? I would appreciate your discretion."
Kaliyo flashed her white fangs at her. "Consider me your emotional and physical guardian, Tayleen. Your new boyfriend and I have a deal. He breaks your heart, I eat his."
"What?"
"Ah, he wouldn't tell you, obviously."
She removed her soaked jacket and opened the duffle bag to get something dry to change into.
"You don't need to be wary of him," she told Kaliyo as she rapidly changed her bra and picked a clean white shirt. "I'm doing fine, and he has been good to me."
"He's big though, isn't he?"
Freezing in place, Tayleen squinted an eye at her and her friend burst out laughing.
"Please, Kaliyo," Tayleen shushed her. "Don't make this more awkward than it has to be."
She recovered from her outbreak with a heavy sigh and wiped a tear from her eye. It was the first time Tayleen saw emotion coming from her mercenary friend.
"Are you... alright?" she risked asking.
Kaliyo stared at the floor, then nodded with a sad smile.
"This is goodbye, I guess."
"No, it isn't." She felt her lips tremble as her heart raced. "Don't disappear on me. You're my friend. My sister, even."
"Sometimes, sisters need space to get plenty of dick," Kaliyo said with humor.
Tayleen scoffed and slapped her arm. She rubbed it comfortingly when the piercing white eyes shot back at her.
"You can stay for as long as you like. I'll smooth things out with Essan. But I'm sure he would understand."
"Essan, eh? First name basis. You seem to like him."
Again, that sadness on her pale, tattooed face. Guilt ate at her seeing her friend look so miserable.
"He's not you," Tayleen attempted to explain. "You can be my bodyguard."
"Alright," Kaliyo accepted, enthusiastic. "But I'm not begging, or anything."
"Absolutely, I'm inviting you. I may need you more than I could admit."
She stopped herself from touching her belly, even if it was still flat and she didn't know what was to become of her in the next weeks. Kaliyo looked at her from head to toe and reached a hand to her chin, caressing her jawline.
"I need you too, kid."
Confused and troubled, Tayleen opened her mouth to ask what she meant, but Kaliyo seemed to think it was an invitation to come closer. She opened her arms and they both hugged until their heartrates matched.
Tayleen heard steps in the stairwell and the door slid open in a loud thud. To her surprise, Essan came in carrying a food tray, followed by 2V.
"We brought lunch."
They placed the food, many different portions, on the table in front of her and Kaliyo who couldn't keep her eyes off Essan. He wasn't wearing his armor. He wore simple civilian clothes, a loose shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
"Well, hello there," Kaliyo greeted him, crossing a leg over the other.
"We've already met," replied Essan, taking a seat opposite from them. "Will you be staying here?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. Any objections?"
"She will be helping me with errands and getting work done from here," Tayleen explained calmly. "I forgot to tell you she would bring me supplies."
He silently checked with her before answering. "Any friend of Tayleen is also mine."
Kaliyo smirked and shrugged her shoulders, inspecting the food.
"What kind of Rattataki behaves so well and serves meatless lunch to his guests?"
Essan took a bowl of noodles and began picking out his meal from the different plates. Tayleen was hungry and did the same, choosing the spicy marinated salad with rice and legumes.
"I haven't been Rattataki in a long time," Essan told Kaliyo. "My lifestyle is lead by reason instead of tradition."
The food was delicious. Tayleen was too busy munching to take part in the discussion, only dreading the weight she would put on after several days spent in Essan's company.
"Reason makes us do crazy things, sometimes." Kaliyo submitted herself to try and eat something. She took the chopsticks and ate right out of the serving plates. "Did you cook this?"
"The droid did most of the work."
"That seasoning, though."
Tayleen froze to see both pale-skinned people lock eyes and Essan smiled shyly. She felt her stomach go warm again.
"One learns enough from a pirate mother who cooked grub for a cargo ship."
"Alright, I get it," said Kaliyo, greedily using a spoon to refill her serving of sweet sauce. "No need to impress me, and you already got into my friend's pants."
"Kaliyo..." Tayleen began.
"I think we're all adults here?" she replied, holding a dramatic palm up. "My buddy was scared to even talk to you but I got through to her, big guy. You should be thanking me. Or, I don't know, name one of your kids after me."
Tayleen coughed. Essan only grinned at her friend.
"You could pick a name and we'll consider it."
Silence filled the room and Tayleen was first to clear her throat with discomfort.
"I had no idea you would be so open-minded."
"He's pragmatic," proudly observed Kaliyo. "And he should feel lucky he found us."
"Us?" repeated Essan.
"Oh, yeah," Kaliyo brushed her sleeve on her mouth. "We're a package deal. I'm Tayleen's bodyguard."
"She truly is," confirmed Tayleen, almost dipping her nose in her bowl of rice.
It took a full meal to soothe the tension and Kaliyo went back to the ship for her own belongings. Tayleen suggested that she use the guest room while she would continue sharing the one with Essan. He cleared a space for her in his closet and she sorted her clothing.
She saw him uncomfortably silent while he rearranged his gear in the shelves of a closet.
"It's only temporary," she told him, checking over her shoulder for a reaction. "I don't plan on making my nest here, and Kaliyo isn't one to linger."
"I wasn't going to disapprove of your decision," Essan replied.
"You look displeased."
"Cautious is the better word." He closed the doors on his cloaks and undersuits before sitting on the bed, watching her with a stern face. "This place feels crowded very suddenly."
She looked back at him with fondness but he averted her gaze, looking at his boots. When sitting next to him she reached for his hand and sought his attention.
"It's a big step, I know it. We all have to deal with change." She released his hand and saw his jaw muscles tightening with restraint. His eyes were still locked and not registering her. "Don't shut me out. Please, I need to know what you're thinking."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, eventually looking straight at her. His face looked sad. "I realize you may not be safe here, and that we're making a big mistake. This... is wrong."
"What is?" she insisted, confused that he would hide so much doubt from her.
"This. Setting aside our duties for a relationship."
"It doesn't have to be a relationship," she snapped back, rising from the bed to stare down at him. She felt tears swelling her eyelids but she pushed them back. She stuttered. "I- I do not feel love for you. You are Darth Skordus, and I respect what you do. But..." She toned down her voice, suddenly hearing herself very loudly. "We're not made for each other."
"I'm aware of it," he spoke back, leveling his voice as well. "And I think you are right. Being together, romantically, would cost us everything we've set to accomplish." He looked down again. "I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
Turning away to dry her face, Tayleen felt heartbroken. She wanted to escape through the narrowest door, fade out into the darkness and never be seen again. But it was daylight, and leaving meant having to explain to Kaliyo she was changing her plans again.
She had run from her fate all of her life, because if there was a fate, it had only caused her misery. Why would any Force in the galaxy have her family killed? And now, would it want her to become attached to a Sith, only to be reduced to a housewife? There was nothing that she could fall back to, if this failed. Essan was right. She needed to be far away from him.
And for that, her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. She already missed his touch, the sound of his voice.
Kaliyo was there for her, every step of the way. Not once did she object or tease her with judgment. Did she think she was being impulsive? Probably, but she didn't say it. Tayleen left the Kaasian apartment with the nagging feeling that she'd forgotten something.