Managed to get this chapter out sooner than expected. Thank my bouts of insomnia for this. And yes, we finally get to see Juice in this chapter. Don't forget to check out my profile for updates! Enjoy!
All characters and locations you recognize are property of Kurt Sutter. Anything you don't recognize is mine. Enjoy!
I pulled into the TM parking lot and parked my car near the repoed cars the guys had pulled in today. I turned the car off and get out. I watched as Tig parked his bike, took his helmet off and waved me over. Bobby, who was standing in one of the bays in the garage, made his way over to Tig and I.
"You seen my brother?" I asked Bobby. He shook his head.
"I think he might be in the clubhouse. You, my dear, are a very creative girl. Where did you get handcuffs from? Banging one of the local cops?" Bobby asked laughing. I shook my head.
"First off, I wouldn't touch any of those guys with a ten foot pole. Second, they weren't mine. Ask Jax where he got them from," I said with a smirk.
"Jackie boy's got a kinky streak in him!" Bobby said laughing. I slapped Bobby on the back.
"Alright, I'm off to deal with my brother. Take the shit storm that's coming my way and drop a lovely bomb on his head," I said. Bobby looked at me funny.
"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked.
"Oh didn't you hear? Miss Tara Knowles is back in town," I said with fake enthusiasm.
"What?"Bobby asked. I nodded.
"Well I gotta see this," Bobby said. Tig agreed and the boys followed me as I started towards the clubhouse.
"I hope you boys are there to have my back," I said, without turning to them.
"Listen, girly, I'm with you on this one. You've got enough on your plate with your nursing job, helping out here and now babysitting Wendy? You're barely sleeping. That would take its toll on most people," Bobby said.
"I'm just here to step in if it gets a little too heated," Tig replied.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence there boys," I said, turning to look back at them. As I made to walk through the doorway, I ran into a hard body. I looked up slightly, and frowned. I had run into Juice. Juice and I had a somewhat complicated relationship.
I was in love with Juice. And Juice had feelings for me, though I couldn't tell you the extent of it. We'd been flirting for a few years and even made out a few times. Five months ago, we slept together. Which was all fine and dandy, until Juice wigged out over my brother finding out. Jax had threatened all the guys, claiming that I was off limits. It seemed to have fallen on deaf ears since I've slept with a few different guys in the club, well with the exception of Juice.
Juice ignored me for three months, barely acknowledging my existence. One night, I had had enough and called him out on it. We ended up in a yelling match and we currently could barely stand to be in a room together. Which sucked for me because I was still in love with him even though I was angry and hurt.
"Stay, Juice. You're gonna want to see the showdown that's about to happen," Bobby said, turning Juice around.
"Yeah, I might need a punching bag once I'm done with my brother," I mumbled.
"Oh, fuck you, Ashley," Juice muttered. I turned on him, before Tig or Bobby could say anything.
"You had your chance, remember? You're the one who's too chicken shit," I said. I turned back and stalked into the club house. Chibs, Opie, Jax, Happy and Clay were all milling around the club house.
"We need to talk," I said to Jax. Bobby, Tig and Juice walked around me and found spots to sit and watch the show.
"You're fucking right we need to talk. You handcuffed my ex - wife to a bed while she was pregnant!" Jax yelled, taking a few steps towards me. It was an intimidation move I had seen him use quite a few times but it didn't scare me.
"I did. You would have too if you were in my shoes," I said in a quiet voice.
"No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be that cruel. What if something would have happened?" Jax continued to yell.
"She has a mouth. She could have yelled. I would have woken up," I told him calmly.
"What the fuck were you thinking? I thought you were better than that," Jax exclaimed, lowering his voice slightly. I heard Tig mutter an 'oh shit' and stand up. He knew that a comment like that would set me off, which it did. I took a step towards him.
"Do not fucking stand there with that holier - than - thou act you're putting on. Do you have any fucking idea what the hell I am doing for you? For this God damn club? I go to work every morning. Work eight to nine hours. Come by here after work and pick up paperwork mom needs done. Head to your place where I spent the evening cooking you and Wendy dinner, cleaning your house, doing your laundry, working on the paper work for the garage. I do everything I can to keep my fucking eyes open until you come home so I can make sure she doesn't shoot up. Most nights end with me wrestling drugs from her newest hiding spot. Then whenever you decide to make an appearance, I head on back to my apartment where I have my own shit to do. I get three hours of sleep a night if I'm lucky. I'm fucking running on fumes here to keep you and your God damn family safe," I yelled at him. Everyone was silent, waiting for Jax to respond to me. Jax stared at me as I seethed. He looked to the floor and shook his head. He walked over and pulled me into a hug.
"I know, you are. And I appreciate it, I really do. I know you're running yourself ragged for me. When's your next day off from the hospital?" Jax asked me. I sighed.
"Two days," I said quietly.
"Okay, take the day and just do whatever the hell you want. I'll take care of Wendy that day. You can spend the entire day in bed, if you want," Jax said. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Fine. I'll take it," I said. Jax smiled at me and moved to walk away but I grabbed his arm. "Don't think this conversation is over that easy. I have some news for you," I said. Jax turned back to me.
"What?" he said. I took a deep breath before answering.
"Tara's back in town. She's working at the hospital," I told Jax. I saw his heart jump into his throat.
'What?" he asked quietly.
"I'm not making this up. She's been back for a week and a half," I told him.
"I can't deal with this shit right now," Jax said, walking out of the clubhouse.
"He's just a little stressed out right now," Chibs said. He opened his arms and I went to him, collecting my daily hug from the Scotsman.
"No shit. I would be too if I had to deal with Wendy and now Tara," I said, shaking my head.
"And having our warehouse blown up," Chibs said.
"Get outta here," I replied. Chibs shook his head. "By who?"
"Mayans. It was full of already paid for merchandise," Chibs said. The guys in the club weren't afraid to share with me what was happening in the club even though I technically wasn't an Old Lady but considering my ties to the club and how I had grown up around all these men, it was a pretty safe bet I wouldn't rat them out. So they treated me like an Old Lady and told me things, to a certain extent.
"Shit. Now I feel bad for freaking out on him about Wendy," I said.
"Don't even think about it. Jax might be stressed out because of some issues with the club but you've got your plate full. You're right, Wendy is his responsibility and he should be thankful that you'd even consider helping him out," Tig said from across the room.
"Sweet talker," I laughed.
"You coming to the party tonight?" Tig asked.
"Baby sitting duties," I said, shaking my head.
"Just use those handcuffs again," Bobby said, which earned chuckles from everyone.
"Talk to your mother. She's not doing anything tonight. Ask her to check in on Wendy so you can blow off some steam," Clay said.
"Yeah, okay, I'll talk to her but I'm not making any promises though I could really use some alcohol and by some, I mean massive amounts," I said.
"Admit it, you just wanna take advantage of some of the guys coming tonight," Bobby said.
"Some? You think I'm that much of a whore?" I asked laughing.
"Well, you'll have your choice of men. I'm sure 90 percent of those guys would give their left nut to be with you," Bobby said.
"You looking to get into my pants there, Bobby?" I asked him.
"As much as I would love to, I respect you and your brother too much to do that shit," Bobby said.
"Well, Bobby, I know that if you and I did sleep together, at least you'd still talk to me the next day," I said. I couldn't resist the urge to cut that little dig in there. All the guys knew about what happened between Juice and I, since the blow out happened in the middle of the club house, when it was full of not only SAMCRO guys but a few Nomads and some of the boys from Tacoma as well.
Just then, the chorus to the Spice Girls song, Mama, blasted through the room. I had spent a good day and a half, choosing and cutting songs that fit each person I knew for their own personal ring tones.
Mama, I love you.
Mama, I care.
Mama, I love you.
Mama, my friend.
You're my friend.
I pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered the phone.
"Hey, mom," I said.
"Wendy's in the hospital," mom said.
"What? Why is she in the hospital?" I asked her, trying to wrap my head around what she was saying. Every head in the room turned to look at me.
"Jax asked me to go over and see her and I found the whore passed out in the kitchen, bleeding out. I called the paramedics. She's in surgery right now. They're performing an emergency c - section," my said.
"What? They can't! She's only six months pregnant!" I exclaimed.
"It's either that or Abel dies. He's going to be premature but the doctors are doing everything they can to save him," mom said.
"I'm heading down. I'll get Jax and we'll head down," I said.
"No, baby, stay where you are. Listen, there's not much good in having all of us here worrying. I'm here. I'll let you know if anything happens. And let me deal with Jax. You've been doing so much, sweetie. I know the guys are having a party tonight. Stay, enjoy yourself. Take a load off. Just keep your cell phone on so I can get a hold of you if I need to," she said.
"No, mom. I need to be there. This is Abel we're talking about. Give me twenty minutes, I'm going to run home and change quickly then I'll make my way over," I told her.
"Ashley, she's gone into surgery right now. All you're going to do is sit in a waiting room with me. You'll probably end up falling asleep in those plastic chairs anyways. And the doctor already said that we won't be able to see either Abel or Wendy until the morning anyways. I'm just staying here until I get news on the surgery then I'm going to get a few hours of sleep before coming back in the morning," mom told me. She did have a point. I would spend the entire night sitting there, only to have to come home and head to work in the morning before I would be able to see Abel.
"Are you sure? I can be there in less than ten minutes," I said.
"I'm positive baby. There's not much you can do here. I'll keep you updated," mom said.
"Okay. I love you," I said. Mom said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. I placed my phone on the bar. I turned and kicked the side of the bar with all my strength.
"God damn it!" I cried out.
"What happened? It's Wendy isn't it?" Chibs asked.
"That fucking bitch shot up and passed out. Mom found her on the kitchen floor, bleeding out. She's in surgery right now. Emergency c - section," I said.
"Holy shit," said every single one of the guys.
"You heading to the hospital?" Tig asked me.
"No, mom told me to stay put," I said.
"Guess that means you're coming to the party," Happy said. I turned to him.
"My nephew is being born about 10 weeks premature because some fucking junkie couldn't keep a needle out of her arm long enough to give him a shot at life and you're more concerned about whether or not I'll attend your party?" I asked incredulously. Happy shrugged.
"Listen, that shit sucks but there's not much you can do. Stay, have some drinks, you can definitely use it. You need the stress relief," Happy said. I walked around the bar, pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swing right out of the bottle. Cheers erupted around the room.
"This alcohol is going to hit me in about 15 seconds. I need someone to bring me home so I can change," I said. No one said anything as they all looked at each other. "Well all don't jump up and offer at once. Assholes." I muttered as I walked out of the clubhouse. I was walking out the door when the JD I downed hit me. I grabbed onto the wall and closed my eyes, trying to steady myself.
"Okay, let's go," came Juice's voice from behind me. He grabbed my arm and steadied me before he walked me to his bike. "You going to be able to hang on?" he asked.
"Like fuck if you think I'm going anywhere with you," I said and yanked my arm free of his.
"Stop being so God damn stubborn. It's either come with me now, or stay in those scrubs of yours," Juice said. I threw my head back and sighed.
"God does not love me today," I muttered to myself. Juice handed me an extra helmet and I put it on. I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Jesus, Ashley, you're squeezing the life out of me," he said.
"I'm scared I'm going to fall. You know how easily hard alcohol hits me," I said.
"Loosen up just a little. I won't let you fall," Juice said. I did what he asked me to do and we were off. I closed my eyes, knowing it was better to not see anything at all.
"Okay, let's go," Juice said as he pulled up in front of my apartment. I took off my helmet, handed it to Juice and began to climb the stairs to my apartment. Juice followed behind me. I managed to find my keys, and unlocked the door without difficulty. I walked in, leaving the door opened for Juice.
"I won't be long. You know where everything is. Make yourself comfortable," I told him as I walked into my bedroom. I left the door open. If Juice wanted to peak, then let him peak. It's not like he hadn't seen it before and it might make him realize just how stupid he had behaved.
I pulled off my scrubs and went rummaging through my closet. I pulled on a jean mini skirt and a vintage gray AC/DC shirt. Knowing I had to ride back on Juice's bike, I pulled on a black pair of tights, with the full intention of taking them off when I arrived back at the club. I then pulled on some silver strappy heels.
I took a quick look in the mirror, fixing my makeup before walking out in the living room. Juice had taken a beer from the fridge and was channel surfing.
"Okay, I'm ready to go," I said.
"Damn, that was fast. I barely cracked open this beer," he said.
"Fine, finish that up and we'll head back," I said. I flopped on the couch beside Juice and picked up the Cosmo I was in the process of reading. I opened it to the article I was reading, a list of 50 things one has to try in the bedroom before one dies. I had started going through the list a few nights ago, with a marker and checking off the things I had already done.
"That one's pretty fun," Juice said, leaning over and pointing to number 17. I looked it over and saw it was the one about having against - the - balcony sex.
"I don't want to know how you know," I said, continuing to go through the list, and checking off a few more things.
"Tried it out when I first moved to Charming," Juice replied.
"I said, I didn't want to know," I told him.
"You've never had sex in the shower?" he asked, continuing to look over my shoulder.
"Yes, I have. Just not when the light's been turned off," I told him.
"Oh I didn't see that part. So who was the lucky guy?" Juice asked. I turned to look at him.
"You don't know him so it doesn't matter," I said. That was a blatant lie. He did in fact know guy that I had sex with in the shower for the first time. It was Kozik, one of the Sons from Tacoma. After a very hot and heavy night together, I had jumped in the shower, only to have Kozik follow me in. It was one of the sexiest sexual experiences I had ever had. I could still feel the water cascading down on our bodies, Kozik's hands running up and down my body.
"Well, we could try it now. Party doesn't start for a little while," Juice suggested.
"You did not just say that to me," I said, not even looking up at him.
"What?" he asked. I threw the magazine and the marker down and stood up.
"The last time we slept together, you ignored me for three months which lead to a massive blow out heard around the world and you expect me to just jump in the shower and go through that shit again?" I said.
"I made a mistake," Juice said quietly.
"You made more than just one mistake," I told him. Juice stood up.
"Listen, I'm really sorry about all of that. I never meant to hurt you," Juice exclaimed, getting frustrated.
"You really thought that sleeping with me, then ignoring me wouldn't hurt me?" I asked him.
"I didn't plan on it. But your brother got word about us getting caught fooling around and he cornered me the next day. He told me if I were ever to touch you again, it would be the last thing I touched with my hands, and my dick," he said. I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest.
"If my brother knew that I found someone that made me happy, whether he was a Son or not, it wouldn't have mattered to him," I exclaimed, also getting frustrated.
"How do you know I didn't just want to hook up with you?" Juice asked me. I let out a small laugh.
"If that was the case, you wouldn't have taken Jax's threat to heart, you wouldn't have stopped talking to me," I said in a quiet voice.
"I don't think it's a good idea," Juice said. I blinked to hold back the tears. I knew he was talking about me and him being together, taking whatever this relationship was to the next level.
"You do know that you're not the first Son I've slept with, right?" I asked him. His eyes widen slightly.
"No, I didn't," Juice replied truthfully.
"It's true. And none of those guys took Jax's 'threat' to heart. Because they know Jax would much rather have me shacking up with a Son, a guy he knows who would treat me with respect as opposed to an outsider who would beat the shit out of me for looking at him the wrong way. You've seen my track record for those guys. You've even helped set some of them straight," I said. Juice nodded.
"Who all have you slept with?" Juice asked.
"Is that really the issue here?" I asked him.
"I want to know," Juice said.
"You're not going to let up are you?" I said, turning to face the door. This was not a conversation I wanted to be having with him.
"No, I'm not," he said. I looked him in the eye. If he wanted to know, if he wanted to hurt himself like that, then so be it. He had hurt me more than he could ever imagine. Karma is a bitch.
"Fine. You want to know? Opie, Chibs, Tig, Happy and Kozik," I said, counting them off my fingers. His eyes widened slightly.
"Seriously?" he asked. I nodded.
"Yep. I mean, Opie and I used to date back when I was in high school so it was a bit more serious but other than that, yeah," I told him.
"Wait, you and Opie used to date?" he asked.
"Yeah, right after he patched in," I said.
"And the rest of them, it was just a one time thing?" he asked.
"Happy and Chibs, yeah. Kozik, a few times," I said.
"And Tig?" he asked. I sighed. How was I going to explain the situation with Tig?
"It's a bit more complicated with Tig," I answered truthfully.
"Are you two seeing each other?" he asked.
"No, God, no. I'm pretty sure the last woman Tig dated was the mother of his daughters," I said.
"How long has it been going on?" he asked.
"A few years. But just so you know, all of that would have stopped for you," I said.
"So you and Tig are still?" he asked.
"Yeah, we are. I'm still single therefore it's still on," I told him. Juice sighed. The silence hung heavy in the air as Juice processed this information. I watched his face show every emotion he was feeling and thought he was thinking flashed across his eyes. He was contemplating continuing with his apology or just giving up.
"I guess I don't really have a right to be upset about you and Tig. I did kind of fuck that one up," he said, looking into my eyes.
"Yeah you did. And you hurt me, a lot. It's going to take a lot to make it better," I said quietly. I might have been angry and hurt at Juice but I still loved him and I still wanted him. It was a constant angel-devil argument. Part of me told me to forget him, part of me told me to give him another chance.
"And I want to work to make it better," Juice whispered. He walked over to me and took my face in his hands. He looked me in the eye before leaning down and kissing me. My hands flew up and grabbed his wrists. I wanted to knock his hands off my face but when our lips touched, I was paralyzed. I couldn't move, couldn't think. But I could kiss him back, and I did.
"I'm sorry," Juice whispered against my lips. I pulled back slightly, the fog his kiss had brought to my mind lifting.
"It's going to take a lot more than just a kiss to make it all better," I said. I walked over to the door. "Let's go. Don't want to be late to the party," I said. Juice let out a breath then walked past me. I locked the door as Juice made his way to his bike. He was already sitting on his bike, the bike started as I walked towards him. He handed me my helmet. I placed it on my head and hopped on. I wrapped my arms around his chest I rested my chin on his shoulder.
"It might take more than a kiss to make it better, but that doesn't mean I'm opposed to working through it," I whispered in his ear as he took off.
I heard his muttered reply of 'whatever'. I shook my head and pulled back slightly. I tried hard to not let my tears flow as Juice navigated the streets of Charming on his way back to the clubhouse.