Butters woke up at his bed on a fresh sunny morning and smiled.
"Boy, it's a beautiful morning." Butters said as he dressed up in his usual clothes every day. He went down stairs and ate a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. As he ate the bowl of cereal, he notices the clock in the kitchen. He was late.
"Oh god." Butters said as he ran outside and grabs his back bag, but on the table of the kitchen, he forgot his homework. Butters kept on running until he saw the bus at the bus stop.
"Wait! Wait!" He kept on saying, but the bus left and it was raining.
Butters had to ran all the way to school, wet and soggy. He finally made it there, but as he entered the school, a bunch of 6th graders saw him.
"Watcha doing blonde boy?" A brown haired 6th grader said.
"I'm just going to school like always. Except on Saturday and Sunday."
"Whatever nerd. We're going to beat the crap out of you." Another 6th Grader said as he hold his fist tight.
"Not again." Butters thought.
Butters ran into the 4th grade classroom as a beaten up kid with gum in his hair. The kids saw him, but not surprised as this always happens to him.
"Dang Butters. Whoever done that to you must be angry, or probably just for fun." Stan said.
"There you are Butters. Your an hour late." Mr. Garrison said.
"What!" Butters said in surprised.
"You're going to have to go to the school office."
"Oh hamburgers."
After the time in the school office Butters walked into the hallway again. He saw the same group of 6th graders before as he was walking on the floor of the hallway.
"Hello blonde boy." The brown haired 6th grader said.
"Umm... Hi." Butters said.
"Because I'm in a good mood today, I'm going to do this."
3 min. later.
Butters was locked into his locker until someone heard a noise. It was Kyle, Stan, and Kenny.
"Dude, someone is in the locker." Kyle said.
"Can somebody help me?" Butters asked.
"Butters? Is that you?" Stan asked.
"Yes. Can you just get me out?"
"Sure."
Butters told the guys his locker combination. Stan opened the locker door and Butters was free with a black eye.
"Thanks fellas." Butters said.
"Whatever." Stan, Kyle, and Kenny said to Butters.
Eric Cartman came along in the hallway and asked Butters something.
"Hey, Butters." Eric said.
"When is this bad day going to end?" Butters asked himself.
"Say the letter Y."
"Y."
"Then say, can't"
"Can't."
"Now what is Mr. Mackey's last name?"
"Mackey."
"What's the color of the sky?"
"Blue."
"What's the opposite of down?"
"Up."
"Now say it all together."
"Why can't Mr. Mackey Blew up?" Butters said as Mr. Mackey came along with the two boys.
"What did you say?" Mr. Mackey asked.
"I said, 'Why can't Mr. Mackey'... Oh." Butters said.
"Just for that, you're not going to the field trip to the Museum of Guns. Instead, you're going to stay in detention."
"What?" Butters said. "Oh Biscuits."
Eric Cartman walked away from Butters and Mr. Mackey as the fat kid laughed away to the 4th grade room.
Meanwhile in detention.
"Butters." Mr. Mackey said.
"You're supposed to hand your homework to Mr. Garrison?"
"Oh yeah." Butters said as he picked up his backpack. He looked through his stuff, but no homework.
"I must've left it at my house." Butters thought.
"Is there a problem?" Mr. Mackey asked.
"Yes. I lost my homework at home." Butters answered.
"Fine, then you get an F. I don't even need permission from your teacher to give you an F."
Butters walked home on the sidewalk in the rain again on a bad day. Suddenly a dog appeared out of nowhere and ripped the sleeves of his shirt.
"Oh, eggrolls." Butters said in sorrow.
As Butters walked on the sidewalk he saw a professor who needs help with an advance hi-tech cannon.
"Hey kid!" the man yelled. "Can you help me with this cannon. Every time I press the switch it's not working."
"Sure." Butters said as he walked inside the cannon.
"I think I see the problem." Butters said as he crawls into the cannon. "There's these two wires. Maybe if I connect them together they will..."
The cannon started operating as Butters connected the wires. Suddenly Butters was shot out from the cannon.
"Thanks kid." The man yelled.
"!" Butters yelled into the sky.
Butters landed into an abandoned building. It had many signs around it that said, "KEEP OUT."
"How could this get any worse."
Suddenly a bunch of men with guns were pointing at him.
Meanwhile at Butters house.
Stephen Stotch and Linda Stotch were walking around and around.
"Where could he be for Pete sake?" Linda said.
"Butters better come home right now. Psychopath murderers could have already taken him to the woods if it's already too late. He might have already ripped out Butters intestines and use it for..." Stephen said insanely and looked at Linda. She freeze for a moment after hearing what Stephen said. "Maybe we should called the police."
Meanwhile at the abandoned building.
"What do you guys want?" Butters said in fear.
"You already found out our secret hideout, little boy." A man said as he walks through the group of his men. The man looked a little fat, but looked strong, and he wore a suit with a tie. He also had black hair. "We have no choice to kill you, unless you can help us."
"Like what?" Butters asked.
"You can start by making some drinks for our boys here." The man said. "This abandon building may look old and dirty on the outside, but in the inside we have a bar, a table for poker, some lights, a pool table, and some other things that makes a building look great in the inside."
"Wow." Butters said as he walks to the bar. "Anyway what kind of drink do you want?"
"How about some Japanese beer or wine. Like... Sake or something." The scary man asked.
"I don't know how to make beer." Butters said.
"Do it, or will kill you."
"Okay! Okay!"
Butters read the Alcoholic book of Sake ingredients. He picked up the ingredients and started mixing them together creating Sake. He handed it to the scary man and took a sip.
"Not bad. Make some Bock for one of my men."
Butters started mixing more ingredients to another alcoholic beverage. He gave it to one of his men who also took a sip.
"Well?" The scary man asked to one of his men.
"It's great. Very delicious. The kid is great."
"Aw jeez. No one never said that to me. Not even my parents." Butters said in happiness.
"You can live. Kind of think of it... Do you want a job here?" The scary man said.
"I guess. I do need some cash for this new game I want. It's called Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2." Butters said
"Good. Call me Big Joe." Big Joe said.
"Okay Big Joe. By the way, what kind of thing are you running here? I mean you have guns, suits, your hanging out in an abandon building, and you have that bag that just moved a minute ago."
The bag behind them moved. Big Joe's men shot the bag with their guns which caused blood to ooze out a bit.
"Ignore that kid. Will pay you ten bucks a week. Oh, and don't tell anyone about where we hang out, or any of these places." Big Joe said as he pulls a map of South Park.
The map showed there hideouts which is the abandoned building, a restaurant, an underground shop, a strange bar, and somebody's home in a apartment.
"Okay, I promise." Butters said.
"By the way, since you're one of us you have to wear your uniform."
"So do I receive an apron, or just some stinking hat?"
"Better, you get to wear a fancy suit." Big Joe said as he pulls out a fancy blue suit.
"Cool."
Meanwhile at the Stotch's house.
"It's getting late. I'm going to get a flash lights." Stephen said.
Suddenly Butters opened the door seeing his dad and mother worried. They saw him at the door and his mother was happy and scared at the same time, but his dad was angry and said, "Butters your late, where have you been?"
"I got a job." Butters answered.
"A job?" Linda said. "What is it?"
"Just helping around by making drinks, cleaning tables, and other things. I get payed ten bucks a week."
"Well that's nice."
"A job huh." Stephen said as he calms down. "You have a lot of responsibilities, but your still grounded."
"Yeah yeah. I knew you were going to say that." Butters said calmly as he goes to his bedroom.
"Strange." Stephen said. "Usually when I say that, he's stressed out or sad. He's more calmed this time."
The next day at school.
Butters was walking in the hallway with his fancy suit. The 6th Graders spotted him at his locker and walked to the blonde boy.
"Well if isn't Blonde boy." The brown haired 6th grader said. "This time I'm going to punch you in the chin and then tie you to a flag pole with garbage stuffed down your throat."
"Silent Bob, Arms." Butters yelled.
"Who you calling? More of your friends to be tied to the flag pole." Another 6th grader said.
Two older men in suits came to Butters.
"What is it Butters?" Arms asked.
"Are these guys bothering you?" Silent Bob asked. "If they are, then will put a bullet in the throat."
"Who are these. Your body guards." The brown haired 6th grader said.
"Bob and Arms. You know what to do." Butters said.
Outside of the school, the 6th graders were tied to the top of the flag pole and stuffed with bugs and dog crap in their mouth.
"I would've put a bullet in there throat. I don't see why bugs or dog crap would work." Silent Bob said.
Later in the 4th grade room.
Butters came in the room late again.
"Butters your late. Go to the office."
Arms came into the classroom along with Silent Bob and gave him a note.
The note said," Butters had a terrible incident. He was beaten sensibly by wild Ewoks and then he was tortured by the Legion of Doom. Sincerely Doc. the Doctor."
"Butters!" Mr. Garrison said. "I can't believe these evil Ewoks did this to you. Come on in Butters. Forget about the school office."
Butters went to his seat as everyone was looking at him. His guards were behind him watching anything that might harm him.
"Anyway, does anyone know what the Civil War was fought for?" Mr. Garrison asked.
Silent Bob whispered the answer to Butters ears.
"Hey! That's cheating." Mr. Garrison said.
Arms threw 2OO$ on the desk.
"Did I say cheating? Never mind. So Butters what is the answer?"
"The Civil War was fought for preserving the Union and later slavery."
"Very good Butters. You get an A."
"Lucky." Eric Cartman said jealously.
Clyde pen suddenly dropped near Butters desk. Clyde went to pick it up until Arms pulled a gun on him.
"Drop the pen or I'll blow your brains out." Arms yelled.
"Dude, you can't have a gun at school." Stan yelled.
"I already talked to the principle about that."
Mr. Mackey walked into the Principal's office and saw her laying in a sack of money and boxes of cigarettes.
"Uh.. What are you doing?" Mr. Mackey asked.
Later at the hallway.
Butters walked through the hallway with his two bodyguards. The kids just looked at the body guards with their guns.
Eric was in the hallway and held a slingshot and a rock in his hand and attempted to shoot Butters. He hold the slingshot tightly and let it go. The rock manage to hit Butters right in the face.
"Ow!" Butters said.
"What the hell! Someone's trying to kill the blond kid." Arms yelled as he and Silent Bob pulled out there guns and was shooting everywhere. The children screamed and ran away. Suddenly a Janitor came and pulled a Machine gun out of a bucket and started shooting.
"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here." Stan said as he watches the fight with his friends.
It was a gun war between two body guards and a janitor.
At night, Butters opened the main door of his house and entered. He saw his dad playing poker with Randy, Gerald, and Stuart.
"Hi Butters. What's up." Stephen asked.
"It was great. I had an great adventure at school today. Not only that I got revenge on those 6th grade bastards."
"Yeah well... did you just say Bastard!" Stephen said in surprise.
"Yeah why?"
"You should never use that word."
"Really, because my boss said it's okay to use the word fuck, shit, bitch, and..."
"Butters just don't say those words." Stephen said. "Since this is your first day on the job, I won't ground you, but if you use it again then..."
"Yeah, I know. I'll get grounded. Anyway, I'm going to see if all the guns in my room are okay."
"Yeah you go do that." Stephen said. Suddenly all the people playing poker burst out the word, "GUNS!"
All of the men ran up to the stairs and saw Butters laying down on his bed playing a video game, but surrounded by boxes of guns.
"Butters! Have you been playing with these guns?" Stephen asked madly.
"Nope. My boss's warehouse is getting full. He needs a new place to hide these."
"Well, I don't believe one second of this." Stephen said.
"Hey kid." Silent Bob came. "We need to get these guns back into the warehouse. We found more space."
"Okay." Butters said.
Stephen was surprised.
"Butters. I will never doubt you again."
"Uh, Steph." Randy said. "Maybe we should check who the boy works for."
"Maybe it is a good idea." Stephen said.
"I'll see if my boss is okay with that." Butters said as he heard there conversation and picked up an expensive cell phone.
"Butters! Where have you got that cell phone! Your too young to have one." Stephen yelled out loud.
"My boss said I should have one for communication." Butter said.
"Oh, I guess that's okay then."
Meanwhile, at the restaurant hideout.
"I was wrong about you." Randy said as he plays poker with Big Joe and the other fathers. "Your actually a nice guy."
"Yes I am." Big Joe said. "Maybe me and my wife can have dinner with you someday."
"By the way, what's with all the suits, guns, and that huge bag over there." Gerald said as he looks at a bag moving.
"Dang it. This guy is still not dead." Arms said as he shot him again. "Stay dead."
"Dead?" Stephen said.
"Ignore that, would you like some classic home-made beer."
"Sure, we would all like some." Stuart said.
The next day at night.
Randy was passing out plates, forks, and spoons.
"Randy, what are you doing?" Sharon said.
"Were having dinner with another family." Randy said.
"Oh good. I just baked a huge turkey in the oven. Anyway, who are we having dinner with?"
"Were having dinner with the Martins." Randy said.
Sharon stood in shock.
"Martin is supposed to be French for Mars or something."
"Randy!" Sharon yelled. "Do you even know who they are?"
"Yeah. They told me there an owner of a restaurant. Why?"
"There not some owner of a restaurant. It's Big Joe. He's the crime boss of the South Park Mafia!"
"Whatever. All of you women always say there new friend is a Russian terrorist. Now, they say it's some Mafia Crime boss." Randy laughed.
Sharon and Randy heard a door bell ringed. Randy went to the door and opened it revealing Big Joe and his wife. His wife had black hair and looked normal like any person in South Park.
"Hi Joe. This is my wife, Sharon." Randy said with a smile. Sharon just stood there and freeze.
"Hi. This is my wife, Alexis." Big Joe said.
"Hello." Alexis said.
"Anyway let's sit down, chat, and eat." Randy said. Stan and Shelly came down the stairs and to the table in fancy clothing.
"I didn't know you have kids at this dinner." Big Joe said.
"Why?"
"I could've brought my son and daughter to this dinner."
"We could still have a fun dinner." Randy said as he and the others sat down at his chair.
"Um... yes." Sharon said oddly as she sat down.
"What's wrong with her?" Big Joe asked.
"She's been complaining that your some Mafia Crime boss, but I didn't believe her one sec."
"Oh. I see." Big Joe said. "Well. Some people say I am, while others never even heard of me. There usually children."
"Are you a mafia crime boss?" Stan asked.
"Well... Hey, do I smell turkey." Big Joe said.
"Hey, did you answered my question?" Stan yelled.
"Well, if I was one, would it be wrong to steal some clothes and some food for a poor, starving family that has no money to afford clothes or even shelter."
"No. It's not wrong at all." Stan said. "So, technically, committing a crime isn't always bad."
"Yes." Big Joes said. "That's why you have hideouts, secret ware houses, and people who lie all the time. Mafia crime boss like me should always... I mean, scratch that last part I said."
"Isn't he great at jokes." Randy said. "Even though that wasn't funny."
"Dad! I think he is a boss of a mafia." Stan yelled.
"Whatever." Randy said.
"Sometimes my parents can be stupid all the time." Stan thought.
The next day.
Butters was at home watching the news. It showed Police Officer Yates on TV.
"Officer!" A news reporter said. "There has been rumors that a large supply of rum has been stolen. Is this true?"
"Yes. We suspect that mafia crime boss Big Joe is behind this." Yates said. "We have no proof, so we can't arrest him yet."
Butters turned off the TV and was surprised at the same time.
"Is my boss a criminal?" Butters thought as he opened the door and went outside.
Meanwhile at the restaurant hideout.
Butters entered the room and saw his boss chatting with other men.
"There you are kid. We have a present for you."
"A present? Really!" Butters said. "Oh by the way... are you a leader of a criminal gang?"
"Uh... Well, let's say you had a sick wife." Big Joe said. "Later you want medicine that can cure her illness, but you don't have the money. The only solution is to steal. Do you think stealing is wrong?"
"I guess not." Butters said.
"Good. Here's your gift."
Butters opened the gift and saw a new pistol in the box.
"A pistol? I can't have one of these."
"Don't worry. We'll take care of it if some policemen comes." Silent Bob said.
"You guys are great. I never did receive a gift from anyone, but my parents." Butters said with a smile.
"Your now part of the South Park Mafia." Big Joe said.
The next day.
Butters was walking in the hallway smiling with a gun in his pocket and with no body guards. The teachers, janitors, and principle couldn't do anything about it. This is because the South Park Mafia is the most feared criminal organizations in the town. Eric Cartman was also in the hall. He decided to pull another prank on him.
"Is it just me or does Butters have a gun?" Kyle said as he watches him.
"Where are his body guards?" Kenny muffled.
"What's Eric doing?" Stan said.
Eric acted strange because he filled Mr. Mackey's whole room with cigarettes and putted boxes of cigarettes in Butters locker, just for fun.
"AHH!" a scream came out of nowhere.
"That must be Mr. Mackey right now." Eric said.
Everyone ran, including Butters and Eric to the scene. Mr. Mackey was under a pile of cigarettes.
"Who did this?" Mr. Mackey said as he got out of the pile.
"It was Butters." Eric said. "Just go check his locker."
Mr. Mackey opened Butters locker to see a dozen of cigarette boxes.
"Butters!" Mr. Mackey said. "I notice your behavior is changing, that your allowed to have a gun, and that your apart of this criminal organization, but smoking is bad because it's bad. You have detention."
"Hah!" Eric said.
After school at the restaurant hideout. There was a birthday party with Big Joe's ungrateful Grandpa.
"Where the hell is my drink!" The old man yelled.
"Our bar boy will be here. Just wait a little." Big Joe worriedly said.
"Where is he?" Big Joe thought.
"That's it! I'm leaving this stinking joint. Your still my most worst child." Joe's Grandpa said as he left the restaurant.
Big Joe burst in anger as he saw his angry grandpa left the restaurant.
"Why doesn't he like me?" Big Joe said.
Butters entered the Mafia Restaurant hideout in anger.
"Your late kid! I told you to come in early! What happened!" Big Joe yelled in anger.
"I'm in a bad mood. This fat bastard made me got detention." Butters yelled at Big Joe.
"What? Who is this guy? Is he bothering you?"
"His name is Eric Cartman. He's fat, age nine, wears a red coat, has a blue hat, and a spoiled, foul mouth, selfish, cold-spirited, no-caring asshole!" Butters yelled in a mad voice.
"Whoa! Whoever did this to you, must be putting other kids into trouble also." Arms said.
"Don't worry kid. Will have give this kid a 'permanent vacation'." Big Joe said as he and his men stepped out of the restaurant. Butters pulled out a can of Mountain Dew and tried to stop the anger flowing in him.
Meanwhile at Cartman's house.
Eric Cartman was alone playing "World of War Craft" on his computer.
"Eric." Liane Cartman said as she opened the door.
"What is it?" Eric said as he finished playing his game.
"Some men wanted to see you. They say you have an appointment with them."
"I don't have an appointment."
Liane Cartman left the room and the gang members of the South Park mafia entered.
"Who the hell are you people?" Eric said.
"We happen to be friends with Butters."
"So?"
The gang members walked toward the boy pulling out knives, guns, a bag, and some rope.
"AHH!" Eric screamed out loud from the house.
The next day.
Butters was in his 4th grade class room. He noticed that Eric is missing.
"Hey where's Eric?" Stan said.
"He probably pulling another one of his schemes." Kyle said.
Mr. Garrison came in.
"I have some very sad news. Your classmate, Eric Cartman, disappeared last night."
Suddenly the whole children was happy and said, "Hurray!" except for Butters.
"Hey! This is supposed to be a sad moment. Not a... Then again, he did crapped on my desk last week." Mr. Garrison said. "Never mind what I said. I'm happy too that he's gone."
Butters thought that the South Park Mafia might have been behind this. After school, Butters ran to the restaurant hideout as fast as he can. As he enters the hideout, he saw the mafia members playing poker.
"Is it true?" Butters said tiredly.
"What's true?" Arms asked.
"Did you killed Eric?"
"You mean the Eric from Europe. That guy was a squealer back in the days." Silent Bob said.
"No! I mean Eric Cartman." Butters yelled.
"You thought we killed him?" Big Joe said with laughter. "We actually just sent him..."
"Freeze!" Police Officer Yates said as he burst through the door.
"What is it officer?" Big Joe said calmly.
"You and your men are under arrest for the murder of Eric Cartman."
Police men came everywhere and arrest Big Joe's men.
The next day at court.
It was a case between Big Joe and Eric's Mother. Liane Cartman wanted Big Joe arrested because of the murder of her child. Liane's lawyer was Kyle's dad and Big Joe's lawyer was himself, because he once went to lawyer school. The case started and it went on and on. It was long and boring, but later it was now over.
One of the people of the jury had said this, "We find Big Joe, Butters, and anyone in the South Park mafia guilty."
"Fine." The Judge said. "I sentence you to twenty years of..."
"Wait!" A child said as he opened the door. It was Eric Cartman, the fat kid.
"Eric!" Butters said. "I thought you were dead."
"No I wasn't." Eric said. "Actually this is what happened."
(Flash Back)
The mafia pulled out guns, knives, a bag, and some rope.
"What are you going to do with that?" Eric said in fear.
"This?" Big Joe. "We just do this to look scary in conversations, but these guns are actually loaded. Anyway we want to talk about the trouble you had with Butters."
"Yeah?" Eric said.
(Flash Back Ended.)
"You see, I and the mafia were having a long chat over Butters, because of his Grandpa's birthday party. The deal was that I will stop bothering Butters and in return, tickets to Florida and Disney land, but there useless now." Eric said. "But why was I missing and why am I already here? It's because when I was throwing out the garbage I fell into the trash can and the garbage truck was already here. Then, it picked the trash can up and into the truck and then I ended up at Denver. It took me a while to get back to South Park."
Later, outside of the court room. Butters walked down the stairs and saw Big Joe.
"Hey Joe!" Butters said.
"Yes Butters?" Big Joe said.
"I don't want this job anymore. I mean, I'm working for a bunch of mobsters."
"I see. Well I guess I'll have to find another guy for the job." Big Joe said.
"Whatever happened to the last bar boy, or Bartender?"
"He died of a 'natural accident'." Big Joe said as he left with his men to a limousine.
"Hey Butters!" Kyle said as he and his friends ran to him.
"I guess your back to being a puny dimwit now." Stan said.
"Yeah, I guess so." Butters said.
"Well that's great!" Eric said. "Now go get me and my friends some ice cream you gay wad."
"Fine." Butters said and left in sorrow.
"You know, I can't believe you actually save Butters and the rest of the South Park Mafia." Kyle said to Eric. "I guess you do have some good in you."
"Yeah." Eric said. "It actually feels good."
"Oh Eric." Liane said. "I bought that video game you wanted."
"Cool, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2!"
"Wait? Why did you bought him a video game?" Kyle asked.
"This is his third good deed. He deserves it." Liane answered.
"Cartman! You just did it for a videogame!" Kyle yelled at Eric.
"Dude, It's Modern Warfare 2." Eric said.
"He has good point there." Stan said.