I Will Always Find You

by Sara Lady Dalian

Wakanda – 1959

One of the first things she fell in love with in Africa were the colors. She had no idea there were so many shades in all the world. Every morning she would awake from wherever she had made her nest, and she would listen to the world as it awoke with her. It was in Africa she learned that the sunrise had a song and if you listened carefully it would wake your soul.

She had been traveling for almost a month, looking longingly at the animals around her playing, when she suddenly found herself surrounded by people. Holding back a laugh, she leaned on her staff and wondered if they had sprung up out of the ground. They spoke to her, but it wasn't a language she knew. As she had traveled in Africa, she had picked up bits of several languages. Having spent several months with the Maasai, she tried, "Supai," with a small head nod to the one who seemed to be leading the others.

It was more surprise than he showed, but he answered, "Hello to you, as well." She smiled to hear his English, though it was heavily accented it was perfectly understandable. "Why have you come to our lands?" He was neither antagonistic or rude, but she could tell he was perfectly serious.

"I have several purposes here. I am simply a traveler who is interested in medicinal plants, but I have also brought a gift from a friend to her sister. Naeku told me how to get here, though, looking around now, I'm wondering if I've lost my way." She looked the man right in the eye. It wasn't the standard behavior for many African women, but she didn't want to appear subservient. Never having played that role in her life, she didn't have any wish to start now.

The men talked around her. It wasn't long before she noticed them looking at the staff she carried. They each had a spear in their hands that she would bet her boots they were capable of using.

The man who had spoken before said something to the others and they stopped talking around her. "I would see that staff of yours." He held out his hand as if there was no chance of her refusing.

"I would gladly show you my staff, but that would leave me without the protection it provides, and that is something I'm weary to do." Politeness was key in many situations, and she hoped that she kept her manners in check. This could get out of hand very quickly. She had experience with overzealous men trying to assert their dominance to take offense. "I've traveled over four continents, so far, and I have yet to meet a people who didn't share names upon meeting. I am Alianna, as I said, I'm a traveler. May I ask your name?"

"I am called N'Daru. These are my clansmen." He looked at her with what she thought was a measure of respect for not giving up her weapon. "We will lead you in, come."

With that, she walked through the tree line and into something she definitely didn't expect. As they walked down a path, she could see a city, one that filled a valley and shown like the fabled city of El Dorado. She stopped and had to stare in awe at the beautiful sight before her. N'Daru stopped when he realized that she was no longer beside him. Looking back at her, he saw the smile and appreciation on her face and recognized it well. He felt the same way. "Come, if you're lucky, you'll get to see more of it. But we must keep going."

"You are all very lucky to be living in such a beautiful place." Her mind contrasted this with the war-torn damage that was most of Europe and thought Wakanda would win in any contest between the two. "Would that the whole world was such a peaceful place." The men with her smiled, she knew she had said something they agreed with. "The damage to Europe is so bad it will take decades, if not a century to be restored, to say nothing of the damage to the people."

They walked a little longer down the trail until they came to a small group of homes, with children playing outside of them. They ran up to and around the warriors that were escorting her. There was one little girl that stood, peeking around the robes of the man walking next to N'Daru. She had big, bright brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Ali couldn't help but squat down on the path and look at her, playing a game of peek-a-boo. The little girl grinned and played along until she slowly crept out from the man's robes and squatted down to mimic Ali. Slowly a finger would reach out and then pull back, reach out and then pull back. Ali was giggling right along with the rest of the children. The little girl's smile was contagious as she worked up the courage to touch the strange woman who had entered their village. Eventually, the little girl got up the courage to stroke Ali's face and hair. N'Daru and his men watched as the white woman was captivated and captured by their clan's little girl. As they were communicating as only woman and child can, they watched the woman slip a small thing from her pocket and whispered the work "kallistō" to the little girl. Ali stood as she watched her little friend show the other children the little, woven grass heart she had been given.

N'Daru told the children they had to go, to run back to the mothers who were watching from the trees. As the walked away, they noticed that the white woman, Alianna, was still smiling. When one of the other men asked what she had given to the child, she showed her one of the grass hearts that she made the night before in her nest. "One summer when I was a child, it was so hot, nobody dared move because we were all afraid of burning to death. Most of us didn't have shoes that didn't have holes in them, and the pavement would burn our feet. The very air was so hot it hurt to breathe. We used to gather in the shade of this one deserted building that had a little grass patch by the back stoop. That summer, the grasses were dying so quickly there were more dirt patches than any kind of grass anywhere in Brooklyn. Behind this building, there was a small patch of grass that was just a little green. My Jamie spent one day we were sitting back there showing me and his friend Steve how to weave these little hearts out of long grass blades."

Ali fingered the little heart as she and the men walked. "When I saw the beautiful grass that was growing where I rested for the night, I couldn't help but weave a few of them, just remembering." She nodded back to the village they had just left. "The little girl back there, the shape of her eyes reminded me of Jamie. He was a charmer, too. He could cock his head and give a grin that would get him, and one of us, out of just about anything." So lost in her own memory, she didn't even notice the other men smile at each other in her true enjoyment of their children.

As they passed a farm that raised war rhinos, they pointed out the animals being raised and permit her to move closer to the pens. The rhinos are being fed for the day when they arrived. One of the smaller ones moved over to the fence and some of the men started rubbing its head. N'Daru looked over at her and asked, "Why do you not come and greet the young calf?"

"I've learned that African animals prefer to be left alone and admired from afar. They don't know me, and I wouldn't want to upset him." She smiled at N'Daru. "He is adorable, though." All the men could see what she wanted, and they admired her restraint among unknown animals, but N'Daru beckoned her forward.

"This one won't hurt you. Come, he likes his head rubbed." His grin was wide, as the young woman stepped forward and presented her hand to the young animal.

She grinned when he blew on her palm and bent his head for rubbing. She stepped up on the fence to get a better reach, and whispered, "Kali méra ischyri," to him as she stepped down. "You all do not believe in doing things by half measures do you?" The men laughed at her statement as they moved back to the path to the city.

IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY **

That evening at supper time, Ali sat in a small courtyard looking at the sunset. It was a long and slow red and purple parade that seemed to radiate contentment into every life form under its gaze. Ali was still picking at the piece of bread roll that had been on her dinner tray when she heard light footsteps behind her. Turning, she rose from her seat and smiled at the woman who greeted her.

"Hello. Welcome to Wakanda." She was a little taller than Ali, muscular and very beautiful. She also appeared to be very kind. "I'm glad someone got you something to eat. I'm sorry you had to wait so long, I was detained elsewhere. My friend N'Daru said you asked to see me." She gestured to the bench Alianna had been sitting on. "Please, let's sit."

Alianna nodded, looking around the courtyard and saw that there were now six guards standing with them. "Thank you for seeing me. Yes, you are Nanali?" The other woman nodded. "My name is Alianna. I spent some months in Kenya with Naeku and her family. They have a new baby, by the way. They named her Lalina." Ali smiled, remembering the little girl. "She sent a packet for you." Ali picked up her knapsack and lifted out the folded leather envelope. "She said I was to give it only to you, and if I couldn't find you to burn it."

Nanali looked at her and grimaced. Nothing should have been that important that they couldn't have been sent in their usual way and time. She took the packet with solemnity and tucked into her dress. "N'Daru says you call yourself a traveler. You must tell me, for I've never done much traveling, where have your travels taken you that you wound up at our door."

The two women sat, in the courtyard for almost two hours, drinking the water that was brought for them, and talking about the world that Ali had seen. The guards pretended not to listen, but they, too, were curious about the strange woman that had come to Wakanda. Ali told them of leaving New York, heading to Belgium and her trip down through war-torn Europe to Greece and Turkey hired on to a relief organization. She told her of her trip back to the Pyrenees to wait out the end of the war and the journey that followed the 107th's path to that bridge over the Danube river. She told them of her trip to Europe's libraries looking for information on natural healing. She also looked for information on memory loss once she had seen Jamie in Rome, but didn't tell Nanali about that.

Then, Ali told Nanali about her journey through Africa, from Morocco to Cairo, once again looking in libraries and hiring on for short periods of time as a healer in the poorer neighborhoods. She told of her trip down the eastern edge of Africa, where she met Naeku and the Maasai people. She told about the healing they had done, and the herbs she had shown them a new use for. Then she told about her journey here and the children she met on the way.

"N'Daru said you called the little girl a name, but he didn't understand what it was," Nanali stated.

"Kallistō, it means 'she who is most beautiful' in Greek. It certainly fit." Ali swiped at a few stray tears that started to form when she thought about the eyes that were the shape of her Jamie's and the charming smile that could have been a dead ringer for his.

The taller woman saw Ali's tears and gave her a minute, before standing up. "You will stay with us tonight. Tomorrow, I think you and my husband need to have a talk about topics of mutual interest." She took the younger woman's arm and guided her back into the building.

One of the guards bowed as they came in, "My queen," and shut the door behind them.

Ali stopped, causing her new friend to look back at her. She saw the white woman's eyes, wide with surprise. "Come, Alianna. We're friends, yes? And we'll be more so tomorrow after you talk with Azzuri." She pulled a little more, "Come on, you've got to be tired. The sooner you get to sleep, the sooner you will be able to get up in the morning to start a new day. Come." This time the woman with the black platted hair followed as she was led through what she now knew was a palace. Nanali stopped at a door that a guard pushed open. "You may stay here tonight. I will have someone bring you some fresh water tonight and then have someone come and get you in the morning." Nanali kissed the young woman on the cheek, she was so tickled by her tales and reaction. "Have a good night and we'll see you in the morning."

Ali looked around the room and couldn't believe where she was. She set her knapsack on the bed and watched it sink a little. She sat on the bed and was distressed about how soft it was, unsure if she would get any sleep at all. She was more than happy to use the bathing facilities to take a proper bath with real soap. She had been using sand to clean herself for so long that she had almost forgotten what soap felt like.

After scrubbing all over and soaking for longer than felt decent, she wrapped herself in a towel and walked back into the bedroom. As she was changing for bed, she heard a soft knock on the door. Covering herself, she invited, "Come in."

An older woman came in bearing a tray with a cup and water pitcher. "Queen Nanali asked me to bring you this. Do you have any clothes that need to be cleaned? I can have them back to you tomorrow morning." She looked at the woman who looked little more than a girl.

"I travel very light, there isn't much." She thought of the clothes that she had left. She only had one of Jamie's shirts left that his mother had packed, the rest of the clothes that she had originally packed had disintegrated over the years. The older woman smiled at her and just held out her hands. Ali went into her pack and into the bathroom where she had folded the clothes she had been wearing. The old woman smiled and walked out the door.

Ali sat once more on the bed and couldn't seem to get comfortable. With a sigh, she pulled off the bedspread and sheet and laid on the floor. She was asleep before she got all laid down.

IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY **

The queen spoke to the woman she had set to look after Alianna. She saw the clothes that were well cared for, but also well used. She also heard about the man's shirt that the young woman kept hold of while giving her other clothes away. This young woman was an interesting puzzle, that was for sure.

When Nanali spoke to her husband, she mentioned that she wanted him to speak to the young white woman that had come to Wakanda. She told him of the respect that Alianna had paid the men who found her, the love she showed the children and the rhinos in the field and the stories that she had told.

"What I don't understand Azzuri is how she has done this. She is so very young to have come this far, but there is no way she could have known some of what she does. And she speaks so familiarly about the 107th that it is uncanny." She thought also of the emotions she saw on the girl's face. "There is something about the war that plague's her, but she was reluctant to talk about what it was with me. I'm hoping that you can help her." She looked at her husband in the way all women do when they want something that they know their husband would protest doing.

"I will see her in the morning. It can't help but be more interesting than listening to the council drone on about the budget." He laughs with his wife about the banalities of ruling a country. "If, as you say, she is connected, somehow, with the 107th, it will be good to speak with her. It's possible that someone in her family served – that could cause the reluctance and emotion you felt." He pulled his wife into their bedroom and continued, "Come, Nali, let's head to bed, my love."

IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY **

In the morning, Ali was awoken by a soft footfall in the room. The same woman was returning the cleaned clothes. She saw the young woman waking and whispered, "Good morning. Since you're awake, I'll help you get dressed. I've got your clothes cleaned and mended. I've also brought a clean dress for your reception with the king this morning and I'll braid your hair this morning. I noticed that you had it braided last night, but I'll put it back for you this morning. King Azzuri and Queen Nanali have invited you to breakfast. That will be in a little over an hour." She helped the woman fold the rest of the bedclothes and draped the bright green dress over her head and fastened it around her in the traditional manner. Ali laughed a little, but she felt like a doll that someone was playing dress up with!

It was just over an hour later that she was shown into a small breakfast room overlooking the valley. The sun was just creeping over the ridges and onto the land and Ali thought that if some painter should capture its beauty for posterity, the rest of the world would weep. She nodded to both Nanali and the man sitting with her but remained standing. She remembered the manners that the mothers in the neighborhood had taught her.

Nanali got up and took her hand. "Come, Alianna, sit down and eat with us. Let me introduce my husband Azzuri. If we were anywhere near one of the official rooms, I would have to be more formal of course, but we're not, so let's not." She laughed at the grin on the other girl's face.

"Of course, my queen. Whatever you say." Ali laughed her head off at the pout on her new friend's face. "And, please, my queen," Alianna squeezed the hand that still gripped her, "my friends have only ever called me Ali." She looked at the other woman with a very frank look. Her talk last night and the kindness that she had been shown had touched her greatly.

"I'd be delighted, my friend! What a beautiful start to the day." As they both sat, Nanali looked at her husband and nodded as if to say, 'now, husband.'

Azzuri laughed at his bride and waited until the young woman had filled her plate with fruit and a bread roll. "My wife has told me of the amazing tour you undertook in Europe. I was impressed and found it interesting that much of your route followed the path of the 107th. Did you have family in the unit?"

At the mention of Jamie's unit, she raised her head and looked into Azzuri's eyes. The question brushed deep into her heart and she wondered how much of her story she could bear telling. "I guess you could say I did." She looked back to her plate and picked p her napkin. She fiddled with it for a bit as she made up her mind. These were rulers of a country they seemed to be very nice people. She sighed, put down the napkin and then asked, "How old do you think I am?" She looked in the king's eyes and waited.

It was an unusual question and he didn't know what to make of it. Sitting back, he looked at her. To appearances, she seemed a very young woman, very early 20s. But by his wife's account, she had been traveling, for many years. The two pieces of information didn't match. "I do not know. You look young, but you've seen more than one of your apparent age should have been able to."

Alianna nodded in complete agreement. She didn't know how to have this conversation with anyone, as she had never been able to answer the questions that she knew would be asked her. "I was born on August 1, 1923. Two of the members of Howling Commandos the 107th were neighbors of ours in Brooklyn." She watched as shock played on Nanali's face and suspicion played on Azzuri's. "When I was 20, I was told the only person to mean anything to me had died, but I didn't believe it. I came to Europe to find him, or at least find out what happened to him."

"You're looking for Sgt. Barnes?" the king asked guardedly.

Just hearing someone else say his name kicked Ali in the gut. "His name was James Buchanan Barnes. They say he died when falling over the Danube river." She looked at the man who was asking about such painful and joyous topics. Painful because she missed Jamie so much and joyous to just be able to speak of him.

"If you are looking for him, I take it you do not believe the story of his death?" The king's voice was tight with emotions. She wondered what role the war had played for him. He watched her shake her head.

"I know he's not dead. I knew it when we were told he was, I knew it when I crossed the ocean, I knew it when I stood beside that train track and I knew it when I saw and spoke to him in Rome three years ago." She watched Azzuri's face as he listened to her. She saw a mixture of emotion, not all of which she recognized.

"You saw him? And spoke to him?" He looked at his wife with the look that conveys more than it looks like. "There can be no mistake?" He looked at his wife's new friend.

She shook her head. "I would know my Jamie anywhere. But, he's not the same anymore. He was captured and they did something to his memory." She fiddled with some of the fruit on her plate. "That is why I am looking into healing herbs and information on healing memory loss. I will find a way to cure what they did to him. I don't know when, how or where I'll find it, but I will see him freed." She sighed and looked at the pair and waited for their reaction. She knew that what she was saying, and not saying, was hard to believe, but she knew it to be the truth.

Nalini then spoke up, "Naeku asked that you be trained in how to use the weapon she gave you. She thought that the women here could teach you how to safely use the staff so that you would be better able to protect yourself," she held up her hand, "I realize that you must have done well so far, as you are still alive, after such a long journey, but Naeku was worried that if your travels take you to more dangerous places, you should at least have the knowledge." She looked at her husband. "That is training I would like to you accept. If, as you say, you will be skirting contact with those who have taken your James, then it would be to your advantage to have the training and not need it than to need the training and not have it." She looked at her new friend, "And I would like you to be able to come back to us and tell us he's cured, someday." She smiled at her friend who seemed to be having a tough time taking so much in.

"Will you stay with us, Alianna, and learn what we can teach you? Will you teach us what you can, in exchange?" The king looked at her and saw value, not only in what knowledge she could provide but as a line of knowledge back to Wakanda about events that might skip their notice.

Ali thought about what they were willing to provide her and she thought about the peace that existed in this place. "I would very much appreciate a rest, and I will teach your healers anything I can, as long as you can understand that I will one day come to you and say it is time for me to go." She couldn't miss Jamie when he emerged from behind whatever door he was being hidden. She had promised, and she intends to always keep that promise.

"I can understand that." The king looked to the guard by the door and nodded to him. "I have sent for the general of our Dora Milaje, the women who are my personal bodyguards. They have the training to help you and I'm sure they won't mind imparting it. We've been peaceful for several years and I can see them chomping at the bit, as it were."

IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY ** IWAFY **

Alianna spent almost six months in Wakanda. She learned much from the people there as well as much about herself. New skills were learned with her staff as well as with her traveling – with more skills to develop. When she left for South America, Azzuri and Nanali issued an invitation for Ali to return whenever she needed or wanted to – and to bring Jamie when she could. King Azzuri and his family became friends of hers for many years and when he and his wife died, Ali wept very sad tears for them both but knew that their young prince, T'Chaka, whom she had known since he was a boy, would make an excellent king

It wasn't until Azzuri and Nanali's grandson was a grown man, though, that Ali brought Jamie to Wakanda to meet the family that she had come to love so much.