CHAPTER 04
BBQ Party Planning

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with the Twilight Universe. I'm just playing around and no copyright infringement is intended. The only things that belong to me are my original characters and the plot.

EPOV

The men, including me, were left to fend for ourselves for lunch as Nan worked on a delicious smelling casserole and Riley helped her two grandmothers make double chocolate chip cookies. Yes, two grandmothers. Just like she considered me an uncle, she considered my own parents a second set of grandparents.

Deciding that it wasn't worth the hassle of fighting through the mess in the kitchen, not to mention the fact that everyone in the Cullen house with a Y chromosome seemed to be lazy as hell when it came to domestic duties, we opted to order a couple of large pizzas. The only thing we trekked through the kitchen for was the twenty four pack of beer in the fridge, which Jasper had to grab since he drew the short straw from Pap's hand. My poor cousin came back frazzled and looking like he walked out of a war zone. But he got the beer, so it was all worth it in my eyes.

We nestled our asses into the extremely comfortable cushions in the family room and turned the excessively large screen television onto ESPN. It was extremely stereotypical; five men drinking beer, eating pizza, and not giving two shits about our health as we vegged out in front of the television to watch a random sports game we normally didn't follow, but it felt so right.

We were watching the Chicago Cubs play against the Washington Nationals and having a heated debate on whether baseball should be allowed more violence when Nan walked through the room with that delicious casserole she was working on earlier and a box of Riley's double chocolate chip cookies.

Pap pushed the foot stool of his recliner down, sitting himself up. "Where are you taking that food to, Ruthie?"

She paused at the doorway to shoot him in a quick glance. "To our new neighbors, of course. Someone has to invite them over for the barbeque and it would be rude to show up without a welcome to the neighbor gift." She gave a quick, sweet smile across the room to all of 'her boys' and left.

Pap propped his feet back up, mumbling something along the lines of how "that woman would feed every damn soul on the street and put him out of house and home if he let her". I kept my chuckle to myself and just shook my head. That was one relationship I would never understand, yet, at the same time, craved to have something similar.

It was a strange feeling to want what my grandparents had because their relationship was anything but normal. Liam and Ruthie Cullen were both extremely hard headed and overly opinionated. While my Pap knew how to put his foot down when needed, he also knew that my Nan took no shit, no matter what he said. What they had was special in my eyes.

Every woman I've met, weather it was during high school, college, or out on the town, was never up to par. I always seemed to find something wrong with them. They were either too clingy, too fake, too annoying, too, too, too. It was like my reasoning for dropping a girl was a never-ending list of too this or too that.

Whatever.

Eventually, we fell back into comfortable silence watching as over-paid athletes threw a ball back and forth. During that time every woman in our family seemed to pass through the room at least a dozen times each, including my niece. I was startled once when they began carrying large bags of who-knows-what back through from the front door. Normally, one or all of us would offer to help, but we weren't stupid. They were in deep party planning mode and once you walked through that rabbit hole there was no going back. You would be sucked in by offering to carry a few bags of groceries then, the next thing you know, you're climbing a thirty foot ladder to place ridiculously colored lights on the roof of the house.

Nope. I won't be the one to break the tenuous glass that kept us in our nice little bubble in the family room. Not this year. I was still getting grief about last Christmas.

But it was bound to happen eventually and I watched in silent horror as Uncle Carlisle stood from the couch he was on and walked towards his wife. "Hear, honey, let me help you with that." The rest of the room let out simultaneous groans of disbelief as he pulled two large bags from her hands.

She gave him a big, crest commercial worthy, smile and kissed his cheek. "Oh! Thank you so much! Why don't you and the rest of the men finish unloading the car for us? You can just leave everything on the dining room table." And then she was gone, as if she vanished in a puff of smoke before we could make excuses.

We had been pulled down the rabbit hole.

Pap shut the television off, slammed the foot rest of his recliner down once again, this time with much more force, and pulled himself up. "Damn-it, son! Haven't I taught you anything?" At least my uncle had the decency to look remorseful.

So, the reminder of our afternoon was spent carrying large amounts of bags and depositing them onto the dining room table. Well, that's a lie. Retrieving the bags only took the five of us about an hour, the other two hours were spent unloading said bags after my mother walked in and roped my father into the task; the rest of us along with him.

No man left behind and all that bull shit.

Just as we were finishing up, Nan walked into the dining room, headed for the kitchen, with a large grin on her face. I could only assume that she approved of the new neighbors and they had agreed to join us for our impromptu neighborhood barbeque, but I didn't have to ask. Pap did that for me.

"How'd it go, Ruthie?" He slid up beside her, still pretty spry for a seventy year old man, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She nodded and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Wonderful. The most adorable girl answered the door. So pretty and cheerful. All smiles, that one was." Her body twisted in my grandfather's hold as she directed her gaze towards Jasper. "She'd be perfect for you, dear."

As my cousin's cheeks turned a feminine shade of pink I had to suppress the growl that wanted to rise up in my throat. Surely she wasn't talking about my crotch rocket Beauty? I wouldn't use adorable and pretty describe those deliciously toned legs or the plump little ass that was pushed out on the seat of her bike. No. More like bitable or tasty.

Fuck. When did I start thinking of a woman like I would a delicious turkey dinner? Then again, those legs alone would cause any man's mouth to water.

I must have spaced out in my musings because I came back to my grandmother squealing like a teenage girl and slugging Pap in the shoulder. My eyes darted over just in time to watch him retract his hand from her butt and I shuddered. That was definitely one sight I could have went without seeing.

Without see again, anyways. They scarred me once as a young child and I still, to this day, do not want to think, talk, or even mention anything about it.

Apparently everyone else agreed because there was another round of groans through the room. Nan walked out of the room unfazed by our reactions as my grandfather shot us all daggers. "Shut your mouths, the lot of you! If it wasn't for your Nan's delectable ass, none of you would be here today!" Instead of his statement putting us in our place, it nearly caused another wave of disgusted sounds to resonate through the dining room. Yeah, I loved the type of relationship my grandparents had, but that didn't mean I wanted to witness it.

"Liam!" My Nan's voice reverberated down the master staircase that led to the second floor. Pap sent us a cheeky grin and spun on his heel. He made quick work of the steps and the last thing we heard was a womanly giggle followed by the slamming of the door.

Perverted old man.

My father slid his palm down his face and shook his head in disgust. "Jesus, dad," he muttered under his breath then turned towards the rest of us. "Alright, we all know that the women will hound us later if we don't help out, even though they won't ask for assistance out right in the first place. Damn mind games. So, let's divide and conquer, shall we?"

A chorus of "sure"s followed his little speech and eventually we grouped together to divide the responsibilities that were sure to fall on us. Basing everything off of what we unpacked it was decided that my father and uncle would start preparing the meat to barbeque for tomorrow while Jasper and I handled all the decorations. We broke apart and began our chores.

Normally the women went above and beyond for everything they did, especially parties, but they seemed to tame it back this time around. Maybe they didn't want to scare off the new family? Either way, Jazz and I were extremely thankful. We strung a few lights through the back yard, decorating Nan's hedges and a few posts. Afterwards we found ourselves putting a rather large sign out in the front of our large driveway then another sign showing the direction to the side entrance. At least they held true to my one condition.

We were sitting on the large living room floor, blowing balloons up, when Rosalie and Riley returned. I tied a knot in the balloon I just finished and flicked it at my niece, grinning as she giggled and smacked it back to me. "Where did you and your mom go, Princess?"

She walked over and sat between me and Jasper. I handed her a balloon, picked up one of my own, and began inflating it as she explained her adventure. "Mommy and I took my cookies and invitations around the neighborhood. Everybody is coming, Uncle Eddie! All the kids and everything." She exclaimed.

I laughed and tied off yet another balloon. "Sounds great, but you gave all of your cookies away?" I proceeded to give her my best wounded puppy look because, damn-it, those cookies did smell delicious earlier!

Her eyes rolled slightly and she produced two double chocolate chip cookies, handing one to Jasper and then one to me. "You're the best, Princess!" She grinned as we dove into the deliciousness that was still warm cookie and melting chocolate chips.

The night continued with Jasper and I blowing up an extremely large amount of balloons. Seriously, I was certain there were enough white, silver, and blue balloons to cover the entire back yard. The last thing I remember before dozing off is watching the animated brunette from Beauty and the Beast step toe to toe with her cursed captor.

Highlight of the movie.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Seems like everything is under way to meet the new family up the road. We're getting a closer look at the dynamic of the Cullen family and exactly what runs through Edward's head when he deals with day to day life. We'll be learning about the other side of their family in a bit and the action side of the story will be picking up soon. Suggestions, comments, criticism? Leave me a review, please.