My little bird- 4
I was exhausted.
My head stayed down as I relied on my feet to keep me upright without the help of vision. I picked my way over moss blanketed roots and over depressions. Green was this world. Everything I saw was green and lush and growing and living and I recognized herbs I was familiar with living plentifully here while plants of the same kind were in clay pots fighting for sunshine in the little herb garden my mother and I shared in a pitiful rectangular plastic basin filled up with little clay pots and bowls and cups stuffed with dark soil and sewn with seeds and herbs and the hope of their growth.
Dax kept nudging me and touching my arms and shoulders trying to get my attention but I never spared him more than a glance. All I wanted was to stop right here, plant myself with the herbs among the moss beds and sleep for a year or two. But I kept trudging on in the failing light, following the dull thuds of hooves walking over the forest floor and the occasional kick of a pebble as apes on horseback walked on. I was forced to raise my head when we reached a steep hill that needed to be climbed.
I dug my fingertips into the soft ground and pulled my small amount of weight upwards, following after our simian saviors. I gasped when I felt a tug on my shoulders and turned as Dax took my backpack off me. He put it on his front side as he already had his own occupying the space of his broad back.
I gave him a look and held my hand out for it back. He shook his head and continued to climb. I reached out and tried to slide it off his shoulder but he stopped me and shook his head at me again. I rolled my eyes and signed, asking him why he wouldn't give it to me.
"You'll be falling asleep on your feet soon. Let me carry the extra weight." He signed back gently.
I sighed, sort of annoyed that he wouldn't let me carry my own weight, but I knew he wouldn't let up, and my back was loosening without the burden of the backpack.
"
Thank you." I signed. He nodded and trudged on.
When we made it to the top, a visible path was stamped out on the ground. We followed it until we reached a humongous wood structure. I stopped in my tracks in awe. The great wall towered over me, casting a shadow over my head. At the top, spears were lining the rim, warning anything smart not to come near here. I was shaken out of my reverie when a hand nudged me forward. I glanced behind me and seen it had been a chimp. A chimp with a big spear. It wasn't poised to strike, but I seen it none the less.
I walked on, trying to lift my heavy feet. Dax grabbed a hold on my hand as we entered the structure. Beyond the outer wall, we walked down a short passage, and I looked upward when I heard hooting, and seen more chimpanzees and even what looked like a young orangutan moving along the wood sticking out, watching as we were escorted into the heart of the massive structure.
The passage opened up and the first thing I noticed was the huge boulder that jutted out sort of like the Great Rock from Lion King, though this one was smaller, and the pigment had been washed away by the rains, leaving it a bone-like silver color. Apes were all around, chimpanzees, gorillas, bonobos, and orangutans. I even seen what looked to be a school class in session. A large orangutan was surrounded by younglings, trying to teach them certain signs, though none paid attention. All the younglings were turned, watching as the party brought us in, and I could feel all the pairs of eyes on me and Dax, that I was shocked shy out of my sleepiness.
We were led toward a trail leading up to a great tree, growing on a rock that reminded me of a small cliff. The tree was absolutely massive, and must have been hollow, for I could see fire lights from inside. There was a spiral of logs jutting out of the ground and into the massive tree strongly and densely packed together, leading up and up into the tree. Stairs. We were lead to an opening in the tree, covered by a curtain of vine plants, it was dark inside, and I couldn't see what was here, but then, I heard the clank of rocks striking, and the flash of sparks. Soon the cave like area was lit by a little bonfire. I seen an ape move to another on the other side of the chamber and strike two flint rocks together over a pit full of tinder, surrounded by small rocks. The next fire was going in a few moments, and the chamber was well lit.
It was spacious, and had a few gourds hanging from the ceiling in certain places, which clanked together hollowly as they were disturbed. I guessed they were meant to hold water or something like that. The ground was covered in thick patches of moss, and much to my surprise, other parts of the ground looked sandy. The walls were also smooth, as though washed clean by rainfall, but I didn't see how that could of happened. There were also objects hanging from some places in the ceiling. They looked like plates with large upward rims. I soon discovered they were lamps when they too were ignited by the ape with the flint rocks.
"You..will stay..here. Safest place." I turned at Caesar's voice.
"Thank you. So much. I don't know how I can ever repay you for this kindness." I signed and said respectfully, hoping he could see how much I meant it. This ape had saved the life of me and my brother twice in two days. I'll never forget this. I thought.
He gave a brisk nod and gestured to the moss. "Rest. Ape will fetch you...in the morning." He said before turning and leaving, the other two apes following. Dax and I were left alone with our thoughts.
"Is this a dream?" I signed to Dax, suddenly unsure I was actually conscious.
He seemed amused and a little taken aback by my question. "I don't think so." He signed back. He then moved toward me and put his hands on my shoulders, and pulled me toward the moss.
"Do as Caesar says and sleep. You're exhausted, little sister." He spoke as he guided me. I let him lay me down and watched as he laid down a few inches from me on the moss, as it was large enough to support two, with his back to me.
"Goodnight." He said, not turning to look at me. So I reached over and gave his shoulder a little squeeze and a tap before turning over and staring into the fire that burned around three or four feet away from me. It's warmth radiating over me like a blanket, and I imagined fiery ballerinas and flying trapeze acrobats flying and dancing in the silky flames. I drifted to sleep as the little ballerina twirled around and blew a warm kiss at me at the end of her pirouette.
-the next day-
I blew a puff of air out through my nose as something soft brushed against the ticklish tip. It brushed my cheek next, but it was warm and sort of cupped my face, and I felt myself lean into the touch. I refused to open my eyes and ruin this nice dream, but my dream eyes were closed too, and I couldn't see who was touching me.
"Rain."
Dax's voice sounded just above my head. I kept my eyes closed, not finding the motivation to open them. The hand returned on my shoulder, and shook me lightly. I let out a quiet, halfhearted moan of annoyance I knew Dax wouldn't hear. He shook my shoulder again.
"Wake up, sister." He said.
I opened my eyes slightly and gazed up at him. He gave me a quick smile before it vanished. "You need to get up." He said, the small deaf accent he had acquired since the explosion that took his hearing coated his words. The accent came on and off.
"Why..?" I signed.
He moved his body to the side, and I was left looking at the entrance to our tree cave thing. There stood Blue Eyes, and Rocket, a large orangutan with a flat face could be seen behind the two. I immediately opened my eyes more and sat up.
"Is it morning already?" I asked, speaking to no one in particular.
"You will eat, then we will take you to the dam." Blue Eyes signed.
I nodded. "Thank you, Blue Eyes." I signed back.
We held eye contact and I noticed that he was pretty handsome. For an ape. His sky blue iris' bore into my eyes and I was certain the young ape could see into my soul. He had a rather humanoid face, in my opinion, and reminded me sort of like the chimps drawn in a child's book. His expression was a mask of caution, but in those eyes I could see something else I couldn't name. He nodded his head and turned to leave, the vine plants swinging back into place. I could see his shadow on the plants and knew he was waiting for us outside. I quickly changed out of my stiff, dirty jeans and into a pair of shorts, that being the first thing I grabbed. I knew it probably wasn't the best choice, but the weather here could go from pouring rain to warm sunshine, and right now the weather had taken up the latter. But to be safe I pulled on my jacket over a freshly changed long sleeve shirt.
I pulled on my shoes and looked toward Dax. He had a strange expression on and pink cheeks as he laced his own shoes. When he stood and saw me staring he huffed. "You could of warned me before stripping." He crossed his arms, annoyed. I gasped a laugh. The poor boy must of been flabbergasted! I wasn't that bothered by it, because I knew he had turned away before I could shed my shirt, so I had no real problem with Dax seeing a little bit more of my legs than usual. He was my brother after all, my gay brother at that. What's he gonna do?
Dax asked if I was ready, and when I nodded he opened the plant curtain for me and I walked out, into the sunshine. Heads turned in my direction, and I immediately froze, staring out at the sea of dark furred bodies. My feet felt like stone, and I felt a blush dust my cheeks. After what seemed like years, most of the gazes shifted elsewhere, and I let out a relieved sigh. After a grunt from Rocket, I turned and followed him and Blue Eyes down to a place to my right, farther into the camp. I found many apes gathering near here, and in front of me I seen meat roasting over spits over crackling fires, and on a long stone slab that I concluded that if it were a table, it would seat twenty people, food was laid out.
There was fruits and vegetables and nuts and berries. I spotted some plants that I was certain did not grow in deciduous forests. But that didn't hold my attention for long, what did was my awareness of all the eyes on me again, and I felt nerves cause butterflies to erupt into a swarm of shy colors in my stomach. Blue Eyes and Rocket paid no attention to the other apes as they lead us toward where Caesar was sitting in front of a fire pit by a rocky overhang with another chimpanzee.
This new ape was female. The first thing I noticed about her was her beauty. Her face was shining with health, and her features were soft and delicate and fit her face well, a small smile played on her lips. Her fur was a shade of black that almost looked blue. Her eyes were a pale, pretty green and when she turned to look at our approach, her smile stayed.
Upon nearing, I realized that the two were not alone, a small ape child was sitting between the two. He seemed very fascinated with his foot at the moment, and I felt a small smile cross my face at the sight of this infant. Blue Eyes sat down on the log next to Caesar, nodding his head to the female, and looking up at Dax and I. I seen Rocket encourage Dax to sit down, and he pulled me down next to him. Blue eyes got up and went down to the slab of rock and I turned my attention to Caesar, who was watching the rest of the apes with a bit if a glare.
When I glanced to see, I noticed their gazes were anywhere but me, and that made me feel better. I looked up when I felt a small caress on my arm, and seen the female ape looking at me kindly.
"Good morning." She signed.
I smiled at her friendliness. "Good morning." I returned politely.
"Sleep good?"
"Yes, thank you." I signed back, and seen Dax nod through the corner of my eye.
"What is your name, child?" She gazed into my eyes.
"Rain. This is my big brother, Dax." I introduced, even though I had a nagging feeling she already knew.
She nodded. "I am Cornelia."
"It's nice to meet you." I signed.
"You as well." She returned. After her last hand movement, Blue Eyes returned with two pieces of curved bark in his hands. He handed each to Dax and I. When I glanced down, I seen it was a food plate.
"Thank you." I said quietly up at Blue Eyes as I watched Dax sign my words to the ape. He nodded with a grunt and went back to the slab, to get his own I assume.
I picked up a blackberry and brought it to my lips, happy to taste the treat I hadn't gotten in years. My mother and I couldn't plant berry bushes, and it had been almost a decade since I had eaten one. I quickly remembered why blackberries were my second favorite berry, next to strawberries.
When I had finished most of my plate, I felt something strange on my leg. Before I could glance down it was gone and on my arm. I turned my head to see the baby chimpanzee that had been playing with his foot on the ground was now on the log, holing my arm in his tiny hands. He stared up at me uncertainly. I made eye contact with his light blue eyes that reminded me of Caesar's son.
The baby soon got over his hesitation and moved to my lap, and I promptly moved the plate to the log beside me as he made his switch in location. I kept my hands off him, not wanting to startle him. The little ape gazed at my chest, and I waited to see what would happen. The little thing reached out and poked my right breast, and squeaked. I giggled, supposing he hadn't expected the difference from ape breasts. He soon got over it and poked me again, and I hoped he wouldn't make a game out of it, knowing that the flesh would soon become tender.
Luckily, he wasn't interested in my boobs very long, and was now gazing me again. He then reached up and placed his palm on top of my nose. I decided to indulge the small child and puffed my cheeks up with air. He let out a little squeak of delight and moved his hand off my nose and placed both hands on my cheeks. They defaulted under his touch and the little ape let out a happy giggle and moved his palm back to my nose. I once again blew my cheeks up with air and when he put his hands on my cheeks, I didn't let the air escape.
He made a confused noise and took his hands off my face, and I let the air leave me. The young child put his hand back on my nose again, and I let my cheeks puff up again. We played this game for a short while, until he decided to climb up and shove his face into my hair. I smiled fondly at the cute thing.
"He likes your smell." Cornelia signed to me with a smile.
I smiled happily. "He's so cute. What's his name?" I signed back.
"Haze." Caesar spoke. "My second son." He had a proud tone to him.
I smiled. "Congratulations." I said, seeing as the child was pretty young. (AN: I decided to speed up his birth because I couldn't wait to get him in there) Caesar nodded with fond smile at his child.
Dax tapped my knee and I turned to him, he gave a confused expression, and I realized he had missed this part of the conversation. I quickly signed what had been said and he nodded, signing his own congratulations to Caesar. I turned back to young Haze, and he had a lock of my rich brown colored hair in his fingers, playing with it.
Blue Eyes got my attention. "You ready to go now?" He signed, pointing afterwards in the direction of the dam. I glanced at Dax and he nodded his agreement, so we bid goodbye to Cornelia and Kato and followed Caesar, Blue Eyes and two other chimps I didn't know to the dam (making a pit stop at the tree cave to retrieve my tools) When we got into the dam, I set to work quickly.
I found my work faltering every now and then when my thoughts took me back to Caesar's clan. I was truly amazed by everything there. The school sessions, the way the apes lived together. I recalled seeing two young females laughing with each other on my way out, and smiling. It had reminded me of my friendship with my mother.
By the time I felt Dax nudge my ankle with his foot, I was in two worlds. I slid out from under where I was working, and looked up at him in confusion. There was still good sunlight filtering in through the high windows, there was still another half hour at least of time to work.
"Time to go." He signed.
"So early?" I asked, standing up.
"They'd like to be back by dinner." He signed.
I nodded and packed my stuff into my tool belt. I let Dax lead me down and out to where Caesar and Blue eyes waited. I seen more apes farther away, and I supposed we'd be following them back to the clan.
"We go now." Caesar said. I didn't interpret for Dax, knowing he got the gist, and nodded at Caesar. They led the way through the forest, Dax and I close behind. Suddenly they both stopped and looked down the path we were walking on. Everyone fell silent as we gazed down the tan bark and soil path, sounds of the forest ceasing, as if the trees were listening. I heard what they heard, mumbling and grumbling coming from down the path. Human.
"Someone's coming." I signed for Dax before turning to the two ape escorts. "I really think you should get to the trees. I have a bad feeling." I felt my stomach twist inside me as I turned back to the path. I heard nothing behind me but a grunt or two above me, and I gave silent thanks that the apes had heeded my warning.
When I turned back, I could see a figure moving slowly toward us, toting a backpack. When the figure got closer, I knew who it was, and felt fear rake it's claws over my body. I recognized the older boy as Drake Nevis. A bully who loved to pick on me. He looked up and stopped when he seen me.
"You." He didn't sound happy. At all.
I stepped forward. "Why are you here?"
He smirked. "I have a message for you." My stomach dropped for some reason. I didn't want to hear what he had to say at all. Something was screaming in my head to cover my ears and crouch on the ground and make myself small. But I gulped and raised my voice again.
"What is it?"
"Lana Harley is dead."
My whole world froze in place. Drake's stupid face stood statue still with that sneer on his face. He had the nerve to smile while he brought me this news that had to be a lie. I think my brain was shaking its head in denial, because I knew my head stayed stiff and still on my neck. He's lying. He has to be lying.
"What did he say?" Dax's voice said behind my ear desperately. "Rain, I read his lips wrong. What did he say?" He didn't read Drakes lips wrong.
I felt myself turn to Dax. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't control my hands. It was like I was watching my body from the outside, but at the same time I knew I was in my body because I could feel this burning, smoldering, blazing, mind breaking pain in my chest.
"He said..." I could barely control my hands as I tried to control my emotions enough to convey this terrible revelation to my poor, strong, deaf brother. "That mother is..." I can't do it. "Dead." I did it.
My heart sobbed.
"No." Dax whispered. He swayed on his feet and I tried in vein to reach out to steady my brother through the stinging in my burning eyes. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no." He fell to his pushed his forehead into his knees and buried his fingers into the hair at the back of his head. I knew his spine must have been screaming at him as his shoulders trembled with grief and denial.
"Oh, would you get up? Everyone has lost someone, now get up and toughen up, faggot." Drake said, his voice held nothing but annoyance.
"Don't call him that!" I snapped, beyond angry that this man had the nerve to insult my brother like this. I wanted to cry in frustration when I couldn't figure out how to let that anger out.
"What did you say?" Drake growled at me, quickly closing the space between us until there was barely a foot between us. I hoped to God that I wasn't trembling as much as my core was.
"Don't call him that." I repeated, determined to defend my vulnerable brother despite my fear.
He grabbed my wrist and twisted it unnaturally, bring me to my knees with a cry of pain. "You don't tell me what to do, street rat!" He yelled.
Drake through me to the ground, my wrist burning. I had no time to recover because right away he had kicked my gut. I gasped as the air left me and I quickly curled up into a fetal position, my arms over my head. I whimpered when his shoe collided into my shin, a bruise starting to bloom. Kick after kick assaulted me until, finally, it stopped, only for Drake to drag me to my knees by my hair. I let out a squeak and cry at the pain in my scalp.
"What's he saying, street rat? Tell me!" He thundered. I opened my eyes to see Dax with his head still bowed, but his hands were raised and signing toward the area where Drake once stood. I quickly tried to follow Dax's movements, and put them into spoken words for this tyrant above me.
"
...disgusting. You have the nerve to come up here where you are unwanted and lie to me? Dirty pig! She is not dead. When I go home, mother and Rain will be sitting on the ground braiding beads into each others hair just like always. You're a liar, dirty fucking coward. Liar, liar liar lair liar..." I stopped and craned my neck painfully to look up at Drake. "Please...I can't say anymore."
Enraged, Drake through me to the ground and stomped toward Dax. I stumbled to my feet and grabbed his raised fist in my hands, trying to pull him away from my seemingly grief-delirious brother. "Don't hurt him!" I yelled.
Drake threw me off with a strong shake and I fell to the ground again. He pulled me up by my hair again and slapped me hard. I let out another yelp of pain and terror as his hand connected with my cheek with a stinging crack. My head jerked to the side and I quickly looked back up at him, scared of what he would choose to do next. After two seconds of eye contact, he seemed to grow angrier and threw my down hard into the soil.
"Don't look at me, Freak Eyes!" He yelled. I quickly snapped my face toward the ground, listening for his approach. He thrust his foot into my gut again and I coughed. I risked a glance up and seen he had walked a few steps away.
"That's all I had to say. Hurry up with that dam would you?" His tone was completely different now, like he had simply patted my shoulder instead of beaten me.
I allowed myself to sit up a bit and call weakly after him. "We'll be back in a few days."
He stopped, and my stomach dropped. "Now, see, you won't be back in a few days." He turned around but stayed in place.
"What are you talking about?" I said, a cough following my words.
"I mean, since the fag over there is over eighteen, he can do whatever the hell he wants. But you, on the other hand, are still a minor. With no parent or legal guardian, you belong to all of us now. And guess what? We don't want you." He growled the last part.
"So when you're done up in this wasteland, go do us a favor and jump off a cliff." He grunted, turning and walked away. I sobbed, and stared down and my hands, littered with dirt. The sound of a sniffle found my ears and I turned to see Dax sitting on his butt with his face buried in my drawn up legs. I got to my feet, sore as ever, and dropped myself beside my brother. I wiggled my way into his embrace and all at once we clung to each other tightly.
It was in that moment I let myself really register the fact. My mother is dead, and I have no home.