Sorry for another little delay. After our vacation to Maine, I've been tired and I've also been pretty busy lately with stuff from work and stuff at home. But thanks for sticking with me. I posted my story 'No Regrets' several days ago. If you're looking for something else to read, please go and check it out! The story has five chapters, and 'The Spectrum' has two chapters.

I want to say thank you to everyone for reading this story and reviewing. I'm glad you like it. Also, I'm trying not to focus way too heavily on the religion part of the story, because I really don't want to offend anybody. So I will say it again: I go to a Catholic church and I grew up Catholic. I'm being as accurate as I can possibly be.

Somebody asked why Bella and Edward had six kids…it's because a lot of devout Catholics are opposed to birth control and contraceptives. For instance, I have four siblings, and my sister is pregnant with her fifth kid now. A lot of time Catholic families are just a lot larger because of that reason. I knew people in school that had like ten siblings.

"God, you know my foolishness. My sins aren't hidden from you." –Psalms 69:5 5

Bella Cullen

"Love you." I said, kissing Noah of the forehead as I tucked him into bed. "Sleep tight, baby." I added, stroking his cheek softly before leaving the room and quietly shutting the door behind me. After tucking the rest of the children in, I hesitated before opening the door to my own bedroom. I knew that I had to tell Edward that Rosalie had seen me kissing Jacob today, but I had no idea how to do it.

I hated myself for hurting him like this. Again.

Eventually, I managed to gather up my courage and walk into the room. Edward was sitting up in our bed, reading a book. He didn't look up when I walked into the room. Evangeline was in her crib in the corner of our room, already fast asleep. Now was as good of a time as any. "Edward, I need to tell you something." I began, and Edward looked up from his book.

"What?" He asked softly, shutting the book and placing it on the nightstand.

I took a deep breath and crawled onto the bed, sitting next to him. I wanted to reach out and take his hand, but I didn't dare to. "This afternoon, when I went to confession, Jacob was there." I started softly, staring down at my lap and wringing my hands. Edward didn't speak, so I continued. "I told him that I couldn't see him anymore, and he agreed, but when he left, we kissed." I said, my voice becoming softer. "It really was just a goodbye, but then…" I choked back a sob, my shoulders heaving as I held my face in my hands. "Rosalie saw us, Edward." I finally managed to say, tears running down my face as I finally looked back up at him.

Edward was motionless, staring straight ahead. For a long, painful moment, he said nothing while I cried softly, still holding my head in my hands. Then, I felt the bed shift as he stood up. Evangeline was sleeping in her crib, so he couldn't yell, but the angry, disappointed silence seemed even worse. Again, I had failed him. This time, not only had I betrayed him, I had let another witness my misdeeds. In the house of God, no less. Everyone would know, and I wouldn't be the only one to suffer once they did. Edward would suffer as well, not just me. But I at least deserved it, I knew that I did. I had done so much wrong to so many people. But Edward hadn't done anything…he had been oblivious for months, thinking that I was happy and content and pious.

"I can't believe you." Edward finally spoke, refusing to look at me. I couldn't stop my crying; I just looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. Edward stared at me, a completely overwhelmed look on his face. "I…I don't know how I can ever forgive you." He said, looking shocked and hurt and just plain confused. "Rosalie knows." He added as a statement, and I nodded my head as I used my shirtsleeve to wipe the mess of tears off of my red face. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, looking as if he were in pain. And I wouldn't doubt that he is. I had hurt him, and I was continuing to do so without even meaning to. "Everyone is going to know." Edward whispered, still not opening his eyes. "Tomorrow is Sunday…we have to go to church and to my parent's house for lunch…"

"We don't have to go to your parents." I said in a soft, desperate whisper. I didn't think that I would be able to face the family ever again.

Edward laughed softly; shaking his head as he finally looked at me again. "We're going." He said firmly. "You have to face them. And so will I." Then Edward glanced over towards the baby crib and rubbed his forehead. "We should shut off the light and go to sleep. We don't want Evangeline to wake up."

So he flicked off the lap and got back into bed without saying another word to me.

The second we walked into the Cullen's home, I felt out of place and awkward. Edward shied away from me, and when Esme opened the door for us to walk in, she didn't speak. I could feel her disgust and disapproval rolling off of her in waves, and I immediately hung my head. The eight of us shuffled into the house in silence, until Edward and Esme hugged and Esme kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry," was all she said. My cheeks burned and I gripped Delilah's hand tighter.

I had expected this. I had tried to prepare for this. But it was still awful. My children, my poor oblivious children, had no idea what was going on as I was ignored for the entire meal. Rosalie shot me filthy looks, but no one else would even meet my eye. They all knew, and they were going to make me pay for it. Edward sat next to me, but he was visibly distant. Everyone else talked animatedly while I was shunned to silence.

Because I did deserve it. I knew what I had done. I had, indeed, dishonored God, my husband, and my entire family. I had broken one of the Ten Commandments, but I had also repented and served out my penance. I wasn't asking for immediate forgiveness, but I also hated being treated so coolly in front of my innocent children. I deserved the shunning, and Edward deserved the pity.

Finally, towards the end of the meal, Esme stood up to start clearing the plates, and then looked directly at me. "Bella, help me clear the table." It wasn't a polite question, but a demand. I stood quickly, picking up both my plate and Edward's before following my mother in law into the kitchen. I dragged my feet slightly, not sure of what I should expect when I was alone with Esme. But I found out soon enough. "Rosalie told all of us." Esme's words were sharp and cool, and they pierced my heart. "I am…" She paused, shaking her head as she began to load the dishes into the dishwasher. "I am stunned and disappointed, Bella. I think you of as a daughter, and you…" She trailed off again, standing up straight and putting her hands on her hips. "I thought you were better than that." Esme finished, and then left the room, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I uttered softly under my breath, and then turned on my heel and walked back into the dining room to face what I had to.

"Psalms." Edward said in a calm, low voice. "God, you know my foolishness. My sins aren't hidden for you."

Goodnight, world. Getting some sleep because I have to wake up oh so early for church tomorrow. Please review!

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie