Chapter 4: Getting to know you
Cin'donia displayed an inordinate amount of patience in waiting for Ranilok to return to the house. After the day that Lily visited, Cin'donia removed the rest of the clothing from the chest and stored it in a more organized fashion. In the middle of the week after Lily had first come, Cin'donia was reading over some of the elven medical diagrams when Ranilok suddenly re-appeared, lying on the bed. The elf's body steamed as the icy cold of Northrend reacted to the warm surroundings in Quel'Thalas. His clothes were tattered and burnt, but they still covered most of his body.
Approaching carefully, Cin'donia sat on the foot of the bed and called out. "Ranilok, wake up."
Cin'donia was lucky that she had sat far away. Upon being disturbed, Ranilok swatted at the air around him violently and sat up, opening his eyes quickly to look around. The elf looked at his limbs and flexed his hands as Cin'donia had upon being awakened. After shifting around in such a way, Ranilok looked to Cin'donia.
"Am I dreaming?" Ranilok looked at her, noticing she had found the clothes he had made for her, but not connecting the passage of time or anything else to it.
"Dreaming?" Cin'donia questioned, not too familiar with the concept of sleep, much less dreaming.
Turning to the side and coughing, Ranilok tried to sit up but failed. "It's what happens when you sleep. Do you know what sleep is?" he mumbled from the bed that he had fallen back to.
"The visions I have when I lose consciousness?" Cin'donia questioned, linking the terms to the events.
"Yes… those. Is this one of them? Am I awake?" Ranilok asked.
"The visions confuse me. I know they are visions because I do not hunger during them and because they are completely illogical." Cin'donia picked up a small piece of bread from the table near the bed and handed it to Ranilok. "Are you hungry?"
"I feel sick." Ranilok groaned as he took the piece of bread and tried to eat it.
"Sick?" Cin'donia questioned. "Is that what was on the scrolls? The writing described disease."
Still unsure of whether or not he was awake, Ranilok nodded. "Sort of… feeling sick doesn't necessarily mean you have a disease. I don't think you can get sick."
"I suppose that is fortunate." Cin'donia cared little about disease and sickness as she had not been sick. Looking at Ranilok's back, she saw the still unhealed lash-marks through the gashes in his robe. "These are injuries." The woman, though new to this life, knew pain and injury when she saw it.
Suddenly remembering what had transpired over the past week, Ranilok began to shiver violently and tear up. Cin'donia could tell that he was in distress, but she could not discern what had caused such sudden feelings. Ranilok cried until his face was red and he looked about to pass out. Reaching out for his back in pity, Cin'donia noticed the crystal on her wrist light up. The gash marks on Ranilok's back healed as the woman reached out for them, she quickly withdrew once they looked better to her.
"The light is still with me." Cin'donia paused. "This is a blessed day."
Sniffing away his tears, Ranilok looked up at her. In the absence of the fel-tainted crystals that the blood elves now drew their powers from, his eyes had gone back to shining a faint silvery-blue color. "I'm… back. Why am I back? He's gone isn't he?" Ranilok suddenly felt around his face. "Graaghun is gone."
"Graaghun is a demonic name. What is going on?" Cin'donia asked quietly, still looking at the crystals on her arms, which had now ceased to glow.
Almost curling up on the bed, Ranilok tried to explain. "They took all of my… of their crystals and made a giant from them. They demanded that I fight the scourge and when I didn't… when I didn't they made a demon control me into doing it."
"That's awful." It became evident that Cin'donia didn't like demons.
"I'll pay them back! I'll pay them all back for it someday! They ruined my destiny!" Ranilok seemed to drop back into how he had behaved before.
"Vengeance is a dark concept. Why would you give yourself up to it? You've already done so many terrible things." The woman was as forthright as ever with what she was thinking.
Ranilok paused, realizing how much Cin'donia disapproved of his behavior. He felt that it wasn't supposed to be this way. The world had screwed him over again. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wanted to create a soul for the body you have… one that I could turn to and love. I wanted to have peace. Why does the world hate me? I fought countless scourge for the nerubians in that… that thing, and yet they all still hate me and jeer at me. I remember that it finally halted as I ran out of energy and they shouted 'thief' and 'usurper' as I was removed from it."
Frowning at his conclusions, Cin'donia tried to address them one at a time. "It isn't supposed to be anything. Do you hate that I have ended up in this body? You saved me from my imprisonment and now you wish I wasn't here. If you don't even want to give me a chance in your desire for this 'love', I'll just leave."
Reaching out suddenly, Ranilok tried to touch her. "Don't go!" he fell back to the bed. "I don't know what came over me."
"From what I know about you, it isn't something coming over you. I wanted to stay here to hear you explain yourself at least; to answer Neru'Rekan's charges." Cin'donia scooted slightly closer and waited for him to tell her.
"I can't deal with talking about it right now. Please, tell me about yourself first. Why were you in that prison?"
Rising to get food for them both, Cin'donia tried to figure out where to start. "I don't know what to say really. I was a member of a race that wielded the light. We traveled the great dark beyond searching for races that could aid us in destroying the Burning Legion."
"You're a…" Ranilok paused, knowing that he would have to explain how he knew what she was. The elf knew the dark secrets of what was held in Silvermoon and if his suspicions were true, Cin'donia would not be happy with any member of Ranilok's race. "… an amazing being to have traveled so far. What did they call your race?"
"Naaru is what some of the others called us." Cin'donia paused, remembering what it was like to have a body made of pure light, to see everything in all directions, to not have the limitations that this new body bore.
His suspicions confirmed, Ranilok re-affirmed his decision not to reveal the secrets of Silvermoon to her. "But that doesn't say why you were in the prison."
Almost crying as Ranilok had, Cin'donia was confused. "Is this what happens when you feel sorrow? I think I've seen other races do this."
"Yes, it is. Go on, if you can." Ranilok was surprised that a naaru was able to cry.
"I was sent here a very long time ago when we suspected that the dark one himself, Sargeras, had come to this world. The evil one was killing dragons and absorbing their power. I tried to face him, but he was much too powerful. Once I was defeated… oh this is hard to even remember. I don't want to remember those times. But why don't I? I should be joyous that they are over. This body is making me feel emotions that I do not know how to react to." The woman paused and tried to collect herself desperately.
"Cin'donia is a nice name." Ranilok attempted to help her get away from the sorrow. "Can I call you something shorter, for ease?"
Getting her mind off of the subject for a moment, Cin'donia wondered what Ranilok might call her. "If you wish; I've never had such an offering made to me."
"I'll call you Nia then, if you'll allow it." Ranilok tried to smile from where he lay on the bed.
"That is suitable, though it has no meaning beyond the letters and my response to it." Cin'donia reminded the elf.
"But that's the point of names like that." Ranilok paused a moment and tried to get the conversation back in without disturbing Cin'donia. "So what happened when you were captured?"
"It was terror. I can only explain it by explaining naaru. We never truly die. When a naaru's light energy becomes depleted, we transform into embodiments of shadows while our souls lie dormant until we have regenerated enough to be reborn. During this time, our bodies draw in the souls of others and produce voidwalkers." Cin'donia frowned again as she tried to explain.
"You never returned though. Surely you would have broken free if you did." Ranilok was completely astounded by the story, as tired as he was.
"That's the worst part. Sargeras knew what happened to a naaru, and so he took my soul from my body and imprisoned it while he kept my form drained of its power and immersed in the shadow for his use in producing armies of voidwalkers. After a long time, I can only guess that the spiders found my prison and decided to keep it as it was. Every moment I felt the separation and thought of what my body was being made to do. I don't feel it anymore; I've been completely bound to this form. It's both joyous and sad at the same time. I don't know how to feel." Nia finished the hard part of her story.
"That's such a…. sad… story." Ranilok reached out for her, but collapsed into unconsciousness.
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'Where did that abomination come from?' Ranilok thought as he looked out of his own unmoving eyes as the demon Graaghun siphoned his powers and tore through the scourge ranks.
The tunnels were tight around the shell as it barreled though; it rolled up into a massive ball sometimes to cleave the passages wider with its flames.
"Ranilok, wake up." Cin'donia called to him as she sat at the end of the bed, "You were going to tell me your story."
"I was? I'll get to it. You see…" The elf collapsed once more into sleep, not even having the energy to eat or drink.
"They all still hate you, elf. You're irrevocably damned for your cowardice and thievery." Neru'Rekan's voice rang in Ranilok's head as the infernal shell closed on him once more.
"Am I to suffer? I didn't ask for this. Do I deserve this?" Ranilok thought as the demon seeped into his thoughts.
"I brought you food." Cin'donia looked at the steam coming off of Ranilok's robes as he lay on the bed once more. "Try to eat. You'll never be able to tell me your story if you don't eat."
"No… not again! Haven't I suffered enough?" Ranilok opened his eyes and saw the cold and dark caves around him.
"Of course not." Neru'rekan laughed as the nerubian soldiers around him joined in. "They mock you. You've been dominated into our service by a mere felguard. You don't even have the sense of service enough to do this on your own. You are a great exhibition of what is worst in humanoids."
"Ranilok, wake up!" Cin'donia was sitting at the end of the bed once more.
Ranilok liked the dress that she was wearing this time; he had such fond memories of making it in hopes to see her wearing it one day. The dress was a light shade of blue that matched well with the crystals on Nia's wrists and the sides of her hair. It was a simple dress, like most of the others, and a functional one. Ranilok never liked the frill despite his greed, perhaps it was from adventuring with Arisia as she had to wear simple clothes on that journey.
"How long have I been gone?" the mage asked, barely moving,
Answering simply as she always did, Cin'donia responded. "You've been gone three weeks."
"Oh no! Who's going to buy food?" The mage passed out once more.
"You'll be going into the upper kingdom this time. Many of our brethren have been raised by the Lich King and the traitor there; it will not hurt you to fight them. Let none of them survive!" The spider-warlock's voice echoed in Ranilok's head once more.
"Won't you tell me your story? I want to hear you explain yourself and all you ever do is sleep." Nia's voice was in Ranilok's mind too, but was she talking to him or was Neru'Rekan?
"No! Don't rush in there! There's a thousand of them at least, we'll surely be killed." Ranilok cried out in his mind.
"You will fight, little elf." Graaghun laughed in Ranilok's mind. "Until the death, you will fight for your master!"
"Tell you my story? There's not much to tell…" Ranilok frowned as he looked up at the face he had always seen as angelic and knew that the closest thing that the universe knew to an angel resided within it.
Ranilok felt the tiny hairs on the front claw of Neru on his neck as the claw rose over his shoulder and the spider whispered in his ear. "Are you enjoying this yet? Isn't that a humanoid trait… enjoyment?"
"Cease this madness!" Ranilok shot up from lying on his bed and nearly hit Cin'donia as he swatted about at the air and fell back into blackness.
"Get him out of there and punish Graaghun. He's no use to us dead." Neru'Rekan gave orders as mages ran about and repaired the damaged infernal shell.
"Ranilok! Wake up!" Cin'donia shook the elf as he lay on his bed. "You're badly hurt!"
"I am?" Ranilok's eyes fluttered as he coughed up a bit of blood onto his chin and went unconscious again.
The days shot past in a blur as Ranilok shifted between his realities: his home with Nia always wanting to hear his story and willing to stay at his side until he told it at least, and his hell inside of the infernal shell as the demon Graaghun pried into his sanity and drove him through the endlessly multiplying ranks of scourge.
"My name is Ranilok." His mind swum and the elf could not tell if he was asleep or awake. "I've been having these strange dreams recently… or maybe they aren't dreams. When reality changes so much, you can't really tell the difference. My… creation… no… my only caretaker… wants to know my story. I have nothing to tell. Everything I've done has amounted to nothing. I've been punished… I've suffered. Did I deserve this? Yes, I deserved this. What happened to me to put me here? What erased the elf that I was? Is this all I am? My power… my greed… my lust."
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"Can you hear me, Ranilok?" Cin'donia addressed the elf.
Opening his eyes slowly, Ranilok muttered some nonsensical words and then woke up. "Nia? How long have I been gone?" he asked as he often did.
"Four days, this time." The woman brought him some food. "Will you tell me your story?" Nia pleaded, dissatisfied with waiting around for him every time that he appeared.
"Must I? I'm hardly worth it. I've been completely deplorable to the world around me. I would only drive you away." Ranilok turned on his side and tried to eat.
"You would only cause me to leave by lying. You've recognized your wrongs; that is a start to healing. Please, tell me what caused all of this."
"It must have been the heart." Ranilok coughed, trying not to choke on his food.
"Do you mean the organ or the trait?" Cin'donia asked, unsure what he meant under such a general term.
"The organ… but not my own. It was the heart of a dragon, Stroyagos." Ranilok put down the food to try and tell more of the story without interrupting himself.
"Go on." Cin'donia asked him a moment later as the elf tried to compose his thoughts.
"I wasn't always greedy… I can remember it. I used to view those times as being weak times, but now I see that they were the only times that I was a decent elf to anyone." Ranilok explained regretfully.
"What does a dragon heart have to do with any of that?" The woman questioned him, confused about why he brought up the heart.
Trying to get back to the heart, Ranilok told more of his story. "I wasn't foul before we found it. I was a fair adventurer with my friends Arisia, Methuselah, Gevran, and this gnome I can't remember the name of. I saw Arisia grow from being timid to being a fair woman. I ended up wanting to be with her as Methuselah did, but in the end he won her heart."
"Is that why you created me? You couldn't win the heart of a true blooded elf so you made one of your own." Cin'donia looked disapprovingly at him.
As much as it hurt to admit it, Ranilok knew he had to be truthful. "Yes… it was. I wanted things to be so simple and I wanted to come out on top. It's gone all different, but you deserve to have that body more than I deserve to have what I dreamed of. You're free. I saw only my destiny, nothing else. The idea of such fulfillment drove me mad."
"Evil beings gather together all of the failures in their lives, take the opposites, and call it destiny." The creation lectured Ranilok.
"I know that now… I know that I acted wrongly. It all started with the heart. While Methuselah and Arisia romanced in the caves of Nerub'Itjahz, I was left alone with that thing. I became enthralled by its power, so much that when we had to return it to its owner, I even defied him. I had the gall to defy Malygos, the aspect of the blue." Ranilok looked down sadly again, seeing all of his past and becoming more and more embarrassed of it.
Asking about the last of Neru'Rekan's points, Cin'donia made Ranilok continue. "Your friends died because of it, the spider said before. How was this connected?"
"Methuselah sacrificed himself in battle, sending us all back here. We were only stuck in Northrend because I made Malygos too angry to send us home. I was better for a while. I went back to Northrend and gave up almost everything that I had to get there in hopes of bringing Methuselah back. I had accepted that Arisia was his and I wanted to help… but there was that yearning that the heart gave to me. I saw all of the magic in the crystals of Nerub'Itjahz and I took them. They made me do honest work in the forge in exchange for letting me stay among them and I robbed them of a few crystals. I suppose all elves are weak to things like that, but my thievery started there." Ranilok tried to make his acts seem fairer by spreading it out among his race.
"No one has to act in accordance with what they are. A member of the most despicable race can redeem themselves with the greatest acts of good." The naaru-elf continued to try and place lessons into Ranilok's story.
"I found Methuselah as an undead, and I tried to tell Arisia what had happened to him. She didn't want to know and so I left her alone. We lost the sunwell then, and everyone became 'blood elves' from the high elves that we were; that was the biggest change. Everyone started draining demons for power and the one who was on top was the one with the most power. When I went back to Nerub'Itjahz to reunite Methuselah's soul and his body, which had been separated to save his soul from the lich king, I took an entire vault with me so that I could be on top of the blood elves. My thievery seemed justified… I had great power and I was the only one who possessed such power. I thought I'd never be caught… but I was just lying to myself. I lied to myself enough times to think those crystals were mine, to think that I had some sort of destiny after I 'lost' Arisia. Arisia was never mine."
"Your eyes did turn blue. Does that mean that you're no longer a blood elf?" Cin'donia asked.
Astounded that they had changed back, Ranilok tried to think of a response before continuing. "Maybe? I don't know. Everything just sat in my mind and spun around so many times that I couldn't distinguish right from wrong or good from bad. The more ways that I found to manipulate and increase my power, the worse it got. I became so prideful that I was blind." The elf paused upon finishing his story. "So do you hate me now? Do you want to run?"
"No. I'll stay because you've been honest with me. You seem to be getting better from your greed. You said that becoming a blood elf renewed your greed, are all blood elves this way? Will you become like them again if you stay among them?" The woman seemed a bit more cheerful, hoping that maybe she could help him overcome finally.
"Only some blood elves. Good elves, like Mithelidan and Arisia and that sweet girl that delivers the food… they could never do the horrible things that I found myself doing. I… I've suffered so much in Nerub'Itjahz. I know that what I did is wrong now. They all hate me; every spider, all of my old friends. You're the only being on this planet that will even hold a conversation with me. I want to pick the pieces up, but I don't know how to. I've become a coward through my greed, relying on my power to get me out of situations rather than my friends. Is there any end in sight?"
"Only you can end your suffering, Ranilok. You started it with your actions and you will find a way to finish it." Cin'donia pulled a blanket over Ranilok and stepped away from the bed.
"Thank you, Nia. You've done so much for me. I don't know how I can ever thank you." Ranilok fell asleep, bound to be whisked away to Nerub'Itjahz when he least expected it.