"What did I tell you?" Kit Kat sighed as she stood up. Brucey also jumped to his feet, and the Doctor took a step back as he did so. "I said, 'No Brucey, these are good people. Don't point your guns at them'."
Brucey's bottom lip began to shake, and Kit Kat and the blonde melted. The blonde girl gave him a hug while he sobbed onto her shoulder that he just couldn't help himself and Kit Kat patted his shoulder sympathetically.
Amy and the Doctor exchanged a very confused, somewhat exasperated, and rather anxious look. What was wrong with these people?
"It's alright, Brucey." Blondie assured him. "It's all right. You couldn't help yourself. We understand."
"He just pointed a gun at me!" The Doctor exclaimed in indignation. Kit Kat threw him a glare.
"He didn't mean to!" She insisted. "It was the blankets, wasn't it, poor Brucey?" Turning back to Bruce, patting his back and pouting. Brucey nodded with his head still buried in Adelaide's shoulder.
"They're just so -" Brucey took this moment to sniff. "So blanket-y! I just couldn't take it! I know that I sh-should've just walked away. But it was so, so, tempting and they were blankets! I just – just couldn't handle it."
"I know." Kit Kat assured him, and then she turned to face the Doctor and Amy. "No more blankets." She said firmly. "They're setting Brucey off, and who knows what he'll do next. From this day forth, all blankets are outlawed."
"You're outlawing blankets?" Amy asked, furrowing her brow and clutching her side. Still out of breath.
"Absolutely." Kit Kat said madly. "I am in charge here and when I say no blankets, then you give me your blankets."
"I'll take care of it, Kitty." The blonde said, wrenching herself away from Brucey, who was still blubbering. "You take Brucey downstairs and have Conrad make him some beef stew."
Kit Kat bit her lip for a second in consideration. "Oh, alright." She agreed. "Just make sure no blankets are around."
She took Brucey's hand and led him away down the corridor. He followed after her meekly. Still making excuses about why he had threatened the Doctor with his gun.
The Doctor turned to the blonde. "Who are you?" He asked. "What's wrong with that man? Why are blankets such a bad thing?"
"I'm Adelaide." Adelaide told him simply. "Brucey is very delicate and, forgive me, a bit mad. And to answer your third question, no one knows. Sometimes Brucey just gets more violent then normal and claims that the source of his violence is a certain object. That object is then outlawed from the hotel and sometimes even from the town and then life moves on until something else sets him off. Last time it was canary's that set him off, the time before that it was high heeled shoes."
"High heeled shoes?" The Doctor wondered. "Is that why Kit Kat was wearing the boots?"
"Yes." Adelaide said, hiking up her long skirt to reveal closed toed flats. "No one even knows what's so upsetting about these things to him, but he just loses it if things aren't his way."
"Just take away his guns!" The Doctor suggested, looking frustrated. Adelaide snapped a picture with her camera and watched as it printed out.
"Souvenir?" She asked, holding out the picture.
"Thank you." The Doctor said, smiling as he took the photo and then tossed it over his shoulder. "Now then, why don't you take away his guns?"
"Because!" Adelaide snapped, glaring as she watched her picture flutter to the ground. "He cries whenever we try. Now, unless you want him to show up here and shoot you, give me your blankets!"
The Doctor struggled on the verge of speech, but then decided to just cave in. After all, these people were crazy.
"Fine." He said, stepping back into his bedroom and ripping the thick, paisley comforter off of his bed, revealing the tan sheets underneath.
"We should probably take those too." Adelaide said, sighing. "I'm sorry, but when you visit Sahrya, you have to be willing to make changes."
"Yeah, well we might not be visiting for very long." The Doctor said as he removed the sheets and handed the large bundle to Adelaide. "Our ride should be fixed fairly soon, anyway."
"That's fine." Adelaide said, smiling. "Like I said, we don't get visitors very often, so whenever we do it's a real treat."
"You seem so sane." Amy said, looking at Adelaide in bewilderment. "I mean, compared to everyone else."
"That's why I'm the psychiatrist." Adelaide said as she shrugged her shoulders. "But I'm still a little mad. Everyone here is. I'm surprised that you are not. The last sane person ever here was Jodi Aarons, Roman's friend. There wasn't a sane person before that, and there hasn't been a sane person since."
"What is it with this Roman Williams?" The Doctor asked.
"Well, he was just cool, is all." Adelaide said indignantly. "He was really fun and just as mad as we all are. Though, he did tend to mess with Brucey."
"How did he mess with Brucey?" The Doctor frowned. "Did he sneak in iguanas?"
"Actually, yes." Adelaide said, her eyes widening. "It was like he tried to go out of his way to make Brucey upset. He brought in iguanas, ate all the feta cheese, stole the room keys, drank coffee, filled the basement with daisies and practically hit him in the face with that plush horse!"
"And what did Brucey do?" Amy asked. Adelaide frowned.
"You know," She said thoughtfully. "The weird thing was, he seemed to get better when people weren't catering to his every whim. He only threatened to kill Roman once, and then he couldn't do anything to him, because Roman just blew up his gun."
"I thought he cried whenever you messed with his guns." The Doctor remembered. "Didn't he throw a fit when Roman did it?"
"Well, yes." Adelaide admitted. "But Roman wasn't having any of it. He yelled 'Eat it or wear it' and then dumped a bowl of macaroni and cheese on his head. That certainly shut him up."
"So, why don't you threaten him with mac and cheese all the time?" Amy wondered.
"Because Kit Kat banned it." Adelaide sighed unhappily. "And Kit Kat is like a hurricane when she's upset. Even Roman didn't often challenge her. The only person who could manage it was Roman's friend Jodi."
"So you're stuck here with a bunch of insane maniacs." Amy said, nodding. "One of whom is a control freak and the other has a gun."
"Oh, don't be sad." Adelaide smiled. "I'm a happy soul here in crazy town." She laughed once and then snapped a picture and held it out for Amy to take.
"Souvenir?"
"Uh, sure." Amy said, taking the photo and then handing it to the Doctor, who threw it over his shoulder again.
"Let's go get the rest of those blankets." Adelaide smiled before turning and walking down the corridor, humming happily.
The Doctor frowned and turned to Amy. "Where's the roman?" He asked.
"How should I know?" Amy said, furrowing her brow. "I would ask Kit Kat about that, or Adelaide."
"Why would I ask Kit Kat and Adelaide?" The Doctor wondered. "Why would they know where Rory is? He's your husband."
"Wait, Rory?" Amy said. "I thought you were talking about Roman Williams."
"I've heard quite enough about Roman Williams." The Doctor sighed. "Though, now that you ask, where is that Roman? No, I was referring to the other roman. Our roman."
"I'm not sure where that roman is." Amy said. "Probably still in his room."
"Shouldn't he be in on this?" The Doctor wondered.
"Yeah, he probably should." Amy commented, walking to the door and stepping through it. "What number was his room again?"
"299." The Doctor told her, walking with her. They reached his door and the Doctor knocked on it, but there was no answer.
"Rory," The Doctor called through the door. "Rory I need you to give me your blankets. Brucey is against them and Kit Kat has banned them."
There wasn't a response. The Doctor exchanged a glance with Amy and knocked harder.
"Rory!" Again there was no answer.
"If you're looking for your friend," Adelaide said, stepping out of one of the rooms and making the Doctor jump. "He's not in there. He went downstairs a little while ago, I think."
"Why?" The Doctor wondered. Adelaide shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," She said. "Maybe he didn't like his room or something, or maybe the crazy's contagious and he caught it while he was here."
"Alright," The Doctor said calmly. "Let's hope that's not an option here. Let's get down stairs."
"Right," Amy agreed, looking just a tad worried. She turned and raced away and the Doctor ran after her until they reached the lobby. There was no one in the lobby, but there were sounds coming from a door to the right.
The Doctor started towards it and then flung it open.
The room was a kitchen, lined with counters and sinks. Sitting around a large table, were Kit Kat, Brucey, Conrad, and Rory, who was pouring some coffee into four cups and looking tired.
"Rory," The Doctor sighed. "What are you doing down here?" Rory blinked in confusion. "I couldn't sleep," He said. "Why? What's going on?"
The Doctor looked anxiously at Brucey, who was examining his guns absently. "Nothing really," The Doctor lied. "We just were wondering... where you were is all."
Suddenly, Brucey looked over at Rory, and yelled.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Rory dropped the coffee pot in surprise and coffee spilled everywhere, causing Brucey's howl to become louder as he suddenly jumped up and stood on his chair, trying to get his feet away from the slowly spreading beverage.
"Um, what." Rory stated, more an utterance of disbelief than an actual question. "It's just coffee."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brucey yelled. "COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Brucey!" Kit Kat said in concern. "He didn't mean it! The bad man will clean all this up right now, won't you, Bad Man?" She turned and sent a glare to Rory, who blinked.
"But, he's the one who startled me and made me drop the pot," he said.
"No excuses," Kit Kat said. "It's your fault for making coffee in the first place!"
"What." Rory said again.
"It's banned," The Doctor explained. "We're not allowed to have coffee here, apparently. Or blankets."
"Blankets?" Rory echoed blankly. "But that doesn't make any sense. I have blankets up in my room."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brucey yelled again, jumping from the chair and rushing over to Rory, who backed up in surprise. Brucey grabbed the front of Rory's shirt and began shaking him, and the Doctor, Amy and Adelaide all rushed forward to try and stop him.
They finally got him off of Rory, who stood in stunned silence while Amy rubbed his back soothingly. Over in the corner of the room, Kit Kat was doing the same to Brucey. "That's okay, everything's alright now," Kit Kat said. "Bad Man won't ever hurt you again."
"H-how can you be so s-sure?" Brucey cried out desperately.
"Because," Kit Kat said decidedly. "I'm going to ban him now."
She turned t Rory. "You are now officially banned from this hotel," she said. "Get out."
This time, Rory didn't even utter his disbelief. He just looked at her.
"You can't be serious," Amy said. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
"You too," Kit Kat said. "Banned! Get out!"
"This is ridiculous," the Doctor protested. "Amy didn't even set him off!"
"I'm still not sure what I did," Rory spoke up.
"You too, Doctor!" Kit Kat said. "You're all banned! Go away before I let Brucey shoot you!"
Brucey, upon hearing he might get a chance to use his guns, cheered up considerably. "Can I?" He asked. "Can I, please? Pretty pretty pretty please with ketchup on top?"
"Only if they don't leave RIGHT NOW!" Kit Kat said.
"It's fine, we're leaving," The Doctor said quickly before Amy could protest even more.
"I'm very sorry about all this," Adelaide said. "But there's nothing I can do. You'd better gather any things you brought with you before Brucey sets them on fire."
"Alright then," Rory said. "Let's go right now. I don't think we brought anything."
With that, the Doctor, Amy and Rory all left the hotel.
"Well, now what do we do?" Amy asked. "Do you think the TARDIS is repaired enough for us to leave?"
"No, not yet," The Doctor said. "Besides, there's something very strange about this place. Mainly, none of this is real, and this mysterious Roman Williams they all know and love. I say we go find the rest of this town and investigate."
"Oh, fine," Amy said. "But let's hurry and get this over with. I really don't want to stick around long enough to see Brucey make good on his threats."
"No kidding," Rory said. "That was just weird."