Sorry for the delay guys. Here's the next chapter and I think the shortest one, I want to thank all of you who read, review and follow, have a nice day, I hope you enjoy it.

All the mistakes are mine and all that jazz

TW: Suicide, Self-harm, Violence (?), eating disorders (?), addiction, and yeah.

A cut to break the vein

I have been successful in not being caught puking my guts out every now and then, maybe it's the fact that I have been "opening" more to Maura, who for a really strange reason hasn't left my side, yet.

Almost every night I lay awake thinking of the reasons why Maura is still here.

-I like Tommy a lot, but I love you-. The memory seems so faint but is still lingering in my mind.

Does she love me?

Could she really love someone that is so broken that barely sees lights in her life?

"She doesn't love you Janie" Hoyt says with a smirk on his face

Maybe he's right.

"…But I love you" I hear Maura's voice in my head.

Do you? Do you really love me like I love you? I want to ask her every time she utters those words, and then I want to kiss her, make love to her, just love her until the pain fades away.

"But you can't" Hoyt mocks me

"Shut up" I say through gritted teeth while tightening my grip in the object that resides in my hand, ignoring the pain that comes with the action.

Just one more slice.

It's just blood.

My mind conjures the memory of all those times where Maura said that she found a 'reddish brown stain' refusing to acknowledge that it's blood until the lab confirms it.

Blood. It's something that is present in my body, there's no way that one little cut would make me bleed out, right?

He sees me in pain, but he doesn't help me. He doesn't help me die; he just stares at me silently, excitement and happiness written all over his face.

I can't bear him seeing me like this: a weak soul.

My hands begin to hurt and I make a small cut where the scars are, trying to stop the pain that is coming from them.

As I do it, I can feel Maura's hands in mine, massaging in a way that expresses so much love and care, trying to stop the pain that I feel.

I shake my head. I need to stop thinking about her; she's the one that stops me from dying.

"She's your savior" Hoyt's voice mixed with mine echoes through the bathroom.

Red drops color my white t-shirt. It looks pretty and symbolic, it reflects my sincere pain.

Just one more cut.

I have many of them. On my arms, on my legs; that's why I started wearing long sleeved shirts, so Maura (and the rest of my so called family and friends) wouldn't notice.

My clothes hung loosely over my body, in the last three months…

Has it been already three months?

… I have lost so much weight. Maura is worried and she forces me to eat even when I don't want to, obviously I eat without complaining, which makes her happy.

"Why are you happy?" I ask her every once in a while

"Because you're trying" she smiles at me and for a moment everything stops.

"Fool and naïve Dr. Isles" Hoyt says every time she smiles "She doesn't know that you're just pretending to be okay" he laughs at me, at us "Remember that love is a weakness Janie" and with that he disappears.

He is still watching me, enjoying my pain.

"Where is your savior Jane?" he whispers in my ear "Why isn't she here?"

"I don't know" I whisper.

"Maybe she's fucking your little brother" Hoyt giggles "I have seen the way he looks at here, and I know you have seen it too" he points out.

"You don't know what you're talking about" I tense before taking a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Oh, but I know… Maybe you should follow in my footsteps, that way Dr. Isles could be yours" he promises and for a moment it sounds so good that I briefly considered it.

"You're not like him Jane, you're a good person. A hero" Maura's voice whispers in my mind

"She's lying Jane" Hoyt puts a hand in my shoulder "She is manipulating you, playing with your feelings while she's fucking Tommy behind your back. Can't you hear them moaning in the background?"

I shake my head.

Just one more cut, one more scar on my hatred skin. One more scar, one more drop of blood spilled on my t-shirt and on the bathroom floor. Like red flowers blooming…

The red flowers disappear whenever I clean it, I wouldn't like Maura to see them. She would ask me a lot of questions that I wouldn't answer.

Just one more cut.

I can't help but wonder why is she so worried about me, I feel fine; it's just a phase, something that I will surpass. It's nothing important.

Just one more cut.

Just once more.

Just one last cut.

I'll soon be dead…

Hope you liked it, see you soon.

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*I don't own Rizzoli & Isles (and its characters), if I did Rizzles would be canon (more than it actually is)