Loras sighed deeply and dropped himself onto his bed. He had learned today that not only did Renly seem to have a habit of invading personal space, he also liked to invade privacy. Loras wasn't one for sharing his feelings. The only person he ever talked to like that was his little sister, but she was all the way back in Highgarden. He tried to sleep for a while but he just couldn't, his mind was still ticking away trying to figure out Lady Amber. And Renly. And his impossible green eyes… And – Loras bolted up from his pillow. He'd almost drifted off to sleep but his last thought had bothered him. Why had that been on his mind at all? He didn't even want to know. He was probably just trying to adjust to the new situation. He hadn't been there long, he was just nervous. Or at least that's what he was going to keep telling himself.

A scratching sound at the door stopped his thoughts. For a moment he was grateful for it but after a while it became annoying. He opened the door and Lioness shot into the room, leaping onto his bed and rolling over, purring. Loras sighed and glanced down the corridor. No one was there, Lioness must have wandered out of Amber's chambers. He knew he should take her back but he really didn't want to go in search of Amber. She made him uncomfortable. He put it out of his mind and picked up Lioness, who cuddled against his chest as he left his chambers. He knew he couldn't just let the cat wander around the castle at night, he had no option but to return her to Amber.

He knocked on the door before he stood waiting for an answer.

'Who is it?' He heard Amber call from somewhere behind the door.

'Loras, my lady.' He answered, then remembered who else was there. 'And Lioness.'

'Enter.' Amber called back. Loras open the door and shut it behind him before he even looked into the room. Lady Amber was sitting in a bathtub at the far end of the room.

'Gods.' Loras couldn't help but mutter as he all but dropped the cat and forced his eyes shut.

'Grow up, Loras.' He heard her tell him. 'You really should learn that there's no such thing as modesty here.' Maybe she was right, he thought. After all, she had watched Lord Renly get dressed and he didn't seem bothered by it. But still, Loras didn't want to open his eyes. 'Open your eyes and come here.' When he still didn't move Lady Amber deployed her favourite tactic of getting Loras to do what she wanted. 'Your lady commands it.' So he opened his eyes and steadily walked across the room, deliberately watching his feet rather than Amber. 'Sit.' She instructed. He sat on the floor next to her bathtub. When he eventually looked back at her, her blonde hair was wet but so were her eyes. They were red and puffy.

'Amber…' Loras started, completely taken aback by her eyes. Maybe she'd just got soap in them, but he doubted it. 'are you alright?'

'Does it look like I'm alright?' She snapped, but there was no malice in her voice. She knew perfectly well she didn't look alright. 'They're sending me home, Loras.' She told him quietly. He stared at her.

'Home?'

'Casterly Rock.' She clarified. 'It would seem that my uncle has tired of waiting for Renly to marry me.'

'But you… can't you tell him? He'd ask if you knew you were leaving.'

Amber shook her head and bit her lip to keep back tears. 'It's too late for that. They'll marry me to someone else.'

'But when…'

'After the Tourney.' She answered with a sigh. 'I'll travel up with Renly's host and return with my uncle.'

'I'm so sorry, Amber.'

And they sat in silence for a long time after that, the only sound being the soft purr of Lioness as she rolled over on Amber's bed. Amber leant back against the bathtub and ducked her head under the wash away any more tears. Loras could even feel the sting behind his own eyes. Although Amber had seemed cold and harsh, and she was a Lannister, and she made him uncomfortable… he'd miss her. A lot.

'How long until the Tourney?' He asked her quietly.

'Two weeks.' She sighed, running her hand through her damp hair. 'You're entering, aren't you?'

'I think so.'

'Are you good?'

'Yes.'

She smirked at him and shook her head. 'And so modest.'

'You said there was no such thing here.'

'You're too clever.' She told him with a sad smile. 'I'm going to miss you and your awkwardness.'

'I'll miss you, too.' Loras told her honestly. 'And I'm sure Renly will miss you most.'

A fresh wave of tears escaped Amber's eyes and it took her a moment to compose herself enough to talk, her voice was failing her. 'I'll miss him the most, too.' She said in a near whisper.

'Can I ask you something?'

'You don't need to ask.' Amber replied. Loras was immediately reminded of Renly when she said that, making his next question even more potent.

'You love him, don't you?'

Amber bit down hard on her lip but nodded all the same, tears streaming down her face. Loras knew it was inappropriate but he also knew Amber was upset, so he reached out and stroked his hand through her hair. She leant against the side of the bathtub so she was a little closer. Amber's icy exterior was most definitely thawed.

'Does he know?'

Amber shook her head lightly, Loras still stroking her hair. Lioness purred louder.

'You should tell him.'

She shook her head again, for some reason looking more distressed than before. 'He won't say it back, Loras.'

'He might. You always look so happy together.'

'But we won't be happy together. He… he's not…' She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to clear her throat. 'He's different.' She said finally.

'I don't understand…'

'He's trying to understand it.' Amber said cryptically, lifting her head to look back at her friend. 'But he'll never love me.'

'I can't see why not.'

Amber managed a weak smile back at him. 'Thank you.' She told him quietly. 'But trust me. He doesn't love me and he never will.'

'But why?'

'That's not for me to say.'

Loras could tell he wasn't going to hear anything else on the matter. Amber lifted his head with her hand gently and for once he didn't feel embarrassed at her touch.

'You're a good man, Loras.' She told him sincerely. He smiled back at her as she eased his face closer to hers and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He knew it meant nothing since she'd just told him she loved Renly, but he knew it did mean something. It meant she'd miss him. It meant she valued his friendship. It was a memory. 'Thank you for bringing back Lioness. Thank you for talking.' She dropped her hand and flashed a classic Lannister smirk back at him. 'But don't expect me to be nice to you tomorrow.'

'I would never expect that.' He got up, averting his gaze from looking inside the bathtub, which only made Amber laugh weakly, before he turned to leave. 'Goodnight.' He told her. She repeated the sentiment before he left and shut the door.

After that Loras spent all his days training. He knew how to fight, he hadn't been short of training in Highgarden but he wanted to be at his best. He'd never fought in a tourney before but the memory of what happened to his brother, Willas, still haunted him. Garlan had turned out alright, he fought in tourneys from time to time and he'd never been hurt like Willas had. But all the same, it worried him. He loved his brother but he'd never want a life like he had. Loras wanted to be a knight, if he couldn't do that… he didn't know what he'd do. He quite literally had never planned for anything else. All the more reason why he wanted to train harder.

'There's such a thing as too much practice, you know.' Renly told him that evening, while he sat with Loras and Amber by the fire in his solar. Amber was drinking wine and her eyes hollowed out whenever Renly wasn't looking. Loras knew she still hadn't told him yet.

'No there isn't.' He answered strongly. 'I want to do well.'

'And you will.' Renly said. 'But you'll work yourself to death if you're not careful.'

Amber simply shook her head, placing her cup back on the floor. 'Leave him be, Renly. You took on a squire, not a friend.'

'I'd somewhat hoped I'd taken on both.'

'He's a squire first and foremost.' Amber reminded him. 'And if he competes in this tourney, you can't blame him for wanting to win.' Loras just smirked at her and nodded in agreement.

'Fine.' Renly gave in. 'It would appear I'm outnumbered. Very well, train all you like Loras. I'll just go and find something else to occupy my time.'

Amber pushed him gently. 'Don't be so dramatic, Renly.' She said with her trademark smirk. 'I only have lessons once a day and you do actually have things to do, you know.'

'Ser Cortnay deals with everything.'

'You could always help him.'

'He says I get in the way.'

'You probably do.'

Loras could watch them argue all day, he still found it as amusing as the first time he'd met them. Amber would flash him the odd look now and then that would make Loras wonder why he'd never realised she was in love with Renly before now. Of course, he still wondered why he'd never marry Amber, what his secret was that she wasn't willing to tell. But he tried to put it out of his mind. No matter how often Renly wanted Loras to tell him things about himself, Loras could never bring himself to ask the same questions. It still felt wrong.

Renly seemed to seek him out after Loras had finished training for the day. He'd go back to his chambers and find Renly leaning against the wall by his door, or meet him on the stairs. Loras didn't mind, as such, it was just that sometimes he just wanted to rest. Loras dropped himself onto his bed as Renly shut the door behind him, perching on the end of his bed.

'Enjoy training today?'

'Yes.'

'Ready for the tourney?'

'Yes.'

'Want me to stop talking?'

'Yes.'

And that just made Renly laugh. He didn't leave though. Loras wanted to tell him to go but he didn't know how he could say that without it sounding offensive, or like he didn't value his company. Especially with Amber and her situation, he really wanted to tread carefully.

'Aren't you scared of entering the tourney?' Renly asked him, crossing his legs and looking back at him. Loras just wanted to stare at the ceiling forever and ignore the question, but he knew Renly wouldn't just go away. He sighed and propped himself up on a pillow to look back at his lord.

'No, I'm not.' He said finally. 'Why should I be?'

Renly shrugged and waited a while before he spoke, re-arranging his words in his head. 'Well, with what happened to your brother, I just thought…'

'What happened to Willas won't happen to me.' Loras told him defiantly. From the way Renly looked back at him Loras realised he may have put a little too much defiance behind his voice. Renly just smirked.

'Confident, aren't we?' He grinned at him. 'You'll be facing off with the Kingslayer next.'

'I'd win if I did.' Loras told him. Renly shook his head and chuckled at that. In all honesty, he thought his squire's confidence was oddly attractive. That bold sense that he could do anything he wanted to.

'I'm sure you would.'

'Do you mock me?'

'No!' Renly answered quickly, a grin appearing on his lips. 'Of course not! Only, you're thirteen years old…'

'So? Ser Jaime was fifteen when he joined the Kingsguard.'

'But he's not fifteen anymore, Loras.'

'I know.' He bit back, folding his arms and glaring across the room. 'I'll still win, even if you don't believe me.'

'I do believe you!' Renly laughed, leaning forward involuntarily as he spoke. Loras noticed but found himself disinclined to do anything about it.

'Prove it.'

'How?' He asked, a strange kind of smile creeping onto his lips. Loras swallowed and looked away. He knew Renly didn't mean it like that, of course he didn't, Loras was imagining it. But why would he imagine it? Did he want him to do that? He pushed the thought out of his head.

'You could put a bet on me.' He told him eventually, surprising himself as to how small and weak his voice sounded. 'I hear Littlefinger is always willing to bet with someone.'

'You want me to bet against Littlefinger?' Renly repeated. 'He's the master of coin, he knows what he's doing when it comes to money.'

'So you don't believe me.'

Renly sighed and leaned back against the bedpost. Loras finally remembered to breathe. 'Fine. If that's what it will take, then alright. I'll make a bet on you.' He smirked to himself. 'Even though you of all people should know that my family is broke.'

'Then all the more reason to bet on me,' Loras told him with a shrug. 'you'll be betting with my father's money.' Loras was aware that the crown borrowed an awful lot of money and he was equally aware that a substantial amount of it had come from Highgarden.

'Done.' Renly answered with a grin. 'You'd better be good, though.'

'I will be.'

'I don't doubt it.'

Loras somewhat misliked the tone of his lord's voice at that last statement. Well, no, it's not that he didn't like it. It wasn't a matter of like or dislike. He found it ambiguous. He couldn't work out what it meant. It was misleading but at the same time didn't lead anywhere. Loras was still pondering the many misleading moments with his lord after Renly had left to let Loras sleep.

The lightning struck somewhere outside, Loras saw it through the window. He was used to the storms by now but this one seemed worse than the others. The thunder was louder, it shook the walls. He tried to put it out of his mind as he lay shivering under the sheets, but he couldn't. All he could do was lie there and watch the storm. He wondered if you ever got used to this kind of storm, whether Amber had got used to it. Whether even Renly had got used to it. He doubted he'd ever be able to consider this place home. You just didn't get this kind of horrible storm at Highgarden. The weather was always warm, it was usually sunny and even when it rained it was still warm. He missed home.