Hunger (Part 2)

Taking a deep breath Kanan politely knocked on the door, not that he was going to wait for his padawan's permission to enter.

"Ezra?" He called softly, peering round the door. He saw him straight away, sitting down on the floor by the toilet, his knees drawn up to his chest. At his calling Ezra tilted his head up towards Kanan giving a small smile but all the while looking worse for wear. Kanan could see the paleness to Ezra's complexion not to mention the kid was practically shaking like a leaf.

"Oh hey Kanan." Ezra replied, wearily glancing in his masters direction but seemingly not inclined to move from his current spot on the floor.

"Hera filled me in on some things- how you holding up?" Kanan figured going direct to the problem was probably the best course of action, knowing how easily Ezra could avoid subjects sometimes.

"Not too bad, just a bit weak I suppose." Ezra replied brushing off Kanan's concern "That spread though, pretty impressive wasn't it?" Ezra tried but Kanan merely sighed and came to sit on the floor opposite Ezra.

"Look, I know you might not wanna talk about this but I sure do… I don't know how much you think Hera's told me and I doubt she even knows the whole story but it worries me to hear that you haven't been sleeping or eating properly Ezra." Kanan started, instantly regretting how his tone sounded like a teacher scolding his student.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. I've got it under control." Ezra replied shortly.

"I know, I know you do. You're not a child, and you can take care of yourself I get that… But that doesn't mean that you can't accept help every now and then-"

"But I-"
"No Ezra, accepting help is never a form of weakness or something to be ashamed of. Everyone does it, that's what being a family is about. If I was puking my guts out in a toilet wouldn't you rather be able to help me however you could too?" Kanan asked, leaving no room for Ezra to shy away.

"Well of course I would, but that's-"

"Yes it is the same for you. We feel the same way for you that you do for us. And I'm sorry but nothing's going to change that now, you're stuck with us!" Kanan quipped, nudging Ezra as the boy smiled.

"Really Kanan I wouldn't want anything else. I just" Ezra sighed "- I suppose I didn't really realise it was happening until…"

"Until you couldn't stop it?"

"Yeah I suppose, I just couldn't waste that time sleeping or eating when it could of taken us one step closer to finding you… It wasn't bad for me, it was just like doing what I used to back on Lothal so I knew my body could take it. It just seems to be taking on some consequences I didn't exactly plan for." Ezra explained and Kanan was glad he was opening up, it was nice to see Ezra showing that he did trust him. But his guilt had grown at Ezra's latest confession.

"Ezra I don't want you spending time you need to survive on me, no matter where I am or what's happening to me!" Kanan exclaimed trying to make Ezra see.

"But master you don't understand I couldn't just leave you there, and if I hadn't done absolutely everything in my power, if I hadn't tried everything then what kind of padawan would I be? What kind of friend or family does nothing?"

"But you didn't do nothing Ezra!"

"But I didn't try hard enough, I wasn't quick enough. I could've been quicker, I could've-"

"Nope. Stop right there, I will not have you misleading yourself like that, I don't know if I haven't made it clear yet Ezra but coming for me in the first place was or should've been an impossible task… You know, I didn't even want you to come for me because I knew how dangerous it would be, but you risked everything. You risked your life for mine Ezra Bridger so don't you dare say that you could've done more." Kanan's tone had been building, he didn't realise it but Ezra saw small tears gather at the corner of his master's eyes. "There is no more you could've done, don't you see that? And everything you overcame, did get me out. You did the impossible Ezra. And I'm sure there's even more to the story then what I know so far… but well I-I can't begin to explain just how proud I am of you." Kanan didn't get to carry on anymore because arms suddenly clung themselves to his waist, he hesitated in surprise slightly before giving everything back into the hug.

"Kanan-" Ezra's voice cracked "I-um I don't know what to say" He laughed slightly.

"I haven't left the great Ezra Bridger speechless now, have I?" Kanan joked looking down at the boy in his arms. Only to receive the cheeky sight of Ezra sticking his tongue out at Kanan in a childish move of defence, laughing slightly Kanan drew his hand through his padawan's hair, relaxing into the comfort of each other's presence.

"You know something though?" Ezra spoke up quietly "I would do it again, well no I wouldn't let you get captured in the first place but I would find you all over again if I had to." The sincerity and honesty in Ezra's tone spoke volumes to Kanan and he hugged tighter.

"My padawan I would always find you too."

"Always?"
"Always."

After that things started to get back into a normal routine, more meals were spent as a crew after the feeling of being together was needed more. Kanan couldn't help but feel the twang of guilt run through him every time he sat down for a meal and Ezra only got through a quarter of it before pushing his plate away. Seeing just how little he was eating made Kanan want break some of the plates, just like Zeb had done when he found out the full extent of what Ezra had put himself through. But no, he would be patient. Soon enough small moments like seeing Ezra manage that extra slice Kanan had secretly slipped him or not seeing the boy awake till three in the afternoon started to give Kanan the confidence that he was recovering. And eventually there would come a day when Ezra slept right through the night and then would manage to eat a full three proper meals. He wouldn't realise it but it would send all of the crew out in a good mood for the whole day; because they cared and seeing Ezra ok again meant they were ok. Family always find each other, no matter how they always do.