Rachel was
drowning. trying to keep her head above the water but it was so hard
as she struggled with the thing in the water. She managed to break
the surface and along with a mouthful of water she got maby half a
breath of air befor she was dragged under again by a pair of strong,
nuseen hands.
She was going to die.
She was going to
suffocate if someone didn't help her.
The pertrifying thought
gave a boost of adrenaline and she fought harder, as a result she was
able to break the surface once again and breath just long enough to
look out over the shiny surface of the water and see herself in the
distance, swimming hard toward herself to be her own rescuer. But the
swimming Rachel was too far away to reach the drowning Rachel. She
was treading the water as fast as she could, but she was too far
away. She would be too late.
That was Rachel's final thought as
she was pulled under once again.
Terror filled her as she
struggled.
fear in it's purest form that these where her last
seconds errupted in every part of her being.
She struggled any
way.
Needing to breath.
Needing to live.
A strong hand
closed over her shoulder pulled her up.
She shut her eyes tight
with fear but she realized that suddenly she could breath.
"Rachel!"
A voice called.
She opened her eyes.
Deam Winchester was
standing befor her, his hand on her shoulder.
Had he pulled her
out of the water?
It was dark now when she looked around, she had
been drowning in murky sunlight.
She looked down at herself,
confused. Her clothes and hair were dry.
Upon further inspection
she saw that she was sitting on the hood of Dean's black Impala.
How
had she gotten here?
She couldn't have been just pulled out of
the water.
"You ok Rachel?" Dean asked.
She looked
up at him. Perplexed. He looked worried. Was he going to start being
nice now?
"Yeah...I'm-" She stammered for her words.
"I'm fine." She said as she took a calming breath. "Where
are we?" She asked.
"Does it matter?" He answered.
"We're alone."
She frowned at that odd sentance.
"What?"
"I was about to kiss you." He stated
with a grin. "That is, if you won't knock me on my ass for doing
it."
She was shocked. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to
answer or not. But even so she found that she couldn't.
He was
going to kiss her?
As his words sunk in she realized that she
wanted him to do it. Wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her.
She was confused, afraid, alone for so long that even though she
knew that he disliked her and he was mean and obnoxious, she craved
his kiss very much at that moment.
As if he'd read her mind, he
took a step that closed the distance between them and leaned in close
to her.
He gently pressed his lips to her and she melted.
Kissing him back willingly, the heat that ran through her made
her forget the cold, icy water of her almost-death.
He kissed her
harder.
She kissed him harder back, sensation swimming through
her whole body.
NO! her head screamed at her suddenly. THINK
ABOUT KELLY!
The wondeful feeling she had kissing dean melted
away to feelings of betrayal and anger for her sister.
Rachel
work in her bed with a violent jerk. Her heart was pounding and she
was covered in sweat.
She sat up quickly in the dark, breathing
hard.
She was in her motel room. A quick glance at the digital
clock said it was 2:47 AM
OH GOD, She thought. NOT AGAIN.
It
was not the first time she'd woken from the drowning dream. It had
plagued her for the last 6 months, at least 3 times a week, sometimes
more.
She turned on the bedside lamp, threw the covers off and
swung her legs out of the bed.
Resting her elbows on her knees,
she covered her face in her hands. Taking deep breaths, trying to
calm her shaking flesh.
WEhen she was able to she got up and
walked to the bathroom. Turning the klights on she stepped from the
carpet onto the cold tiles and turned the water in the sink on.
Leaning over she spalshed several handfuls of the cold water onto her
face.
Turning the water off she leaned up, supporting herself
with her hands on the rim of the sink and looked at herself in the
mirror.
Water beads dripped from her nose and chin. She didn't
recognize herfelf.
Her skin was pale, her hair was plastered to
her head, the bags under her eyes where dark and puffy.
She was
more disurbed by tonights dream than she had been in a while, she
thought as she dried her face on a skimpy motel towel.
She had
dreamt for months now that she was her sister in her final moments,
drowning in that lake by that evil spirit, seeing herself in the
distance, trying to reach herself in time. Knowing that it would be
too late.
Just like she'd been in real life. Too far away to save
Kelly.
The dream was always agoinizing, and she wake and think to
herself that it must be the higher powers that allowed her the dream.
They knew how guilty she was and were giving her a glimps of the fate
she should have saved Kelly from. Punishing her by letting her
expiriance the terror her sister had suffered becuase she, Rachel,
Hadn't been quick enough.
I DESERVE IT. Rachel thought as she
climbed back into bed. She was somewhat thankful for the dream in
letting her see what it was like.
If Kelly had gone through that
horror, it was only fair that she not be spared from it.
BUT THE
DIFFERANCE IS THAT I LIVED She thought.
As she sat on the
mattress with the pillows at her back, she brought her knee's up to
her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Not ready to sleep
yet, she layed her forhead on her knees and closed her eyes.
Taking
deep breaths, she was finally able to pinpoint why she was more
shaken tonight than usual. the dream had been different.
The
drowning part was the same as it had always been. But she'd always
woken at the last second befor she died, dreanched from head to toe
in sweat.
Tonight she'd been saved.
Saved by Dean Winchester
of all people. And he'd kissed her. Kissed her tenderly as she sat on
the hood of his car.
And she'd let him. Why?
There was no
doubt in her mind that she was slightly attracted to him, as much as
she disliked him personally. And she had to admit that she found his
dry humor and 'screw you' attitude some-what sexy. She found herself
thinking back to the dream and could swear she could almost still
feel his lips on hers.
She cursed herself for liking the feeling.
She made a resolve just then that she would finish with Bloody
Mary as soon as possible and get the hell away from Dean Winchester.
She was a hrrible sister for feeling this way for a man that had
no use for her all the time mouring her sister.
She needed to
focus on missing Kelly and trying to build the courage to face their
mother after letting her youngest child die at the hands of a demon.
Not wanting Dean.
"Your too hard on yourself, you know
that?" A clear voice interrupted her thoughts.
She looked up
to see Kelly sitting on the edge of the bed oppiste her.
Rachel
blinked. Not surprised.
This wasn't the first time her mind had
conjoured Kelly's image. And she knew it to be just that. Not her
sister's ghost. She'd seen too many spirits and entities not to know
the differance.
No. This was her guilty mind projecting her
sister when she needed her the most.
Usually after a really bad
dream or sometimes on the road, as Rachel drove over the lonely
blacktop, her mind so numb with thought of her sister and the fact
that the seat that she usually occupied was now empty, Kelly would
appear there. Just to talk for a moment to ease the pain.
Kelly
appeared as she had in life; small, porceline skinned, blond locks
falling over her shoulders, clear green eyes just like Rachel's. Her
lips curled into a little smile that touched her eyes and made them
appear to laugh.
When she lived, no one would have guessed her to
be anything else but a beautiful girl of 20, who was maby part of a
serority, maby a little ditsy and always had boys dropping at her
feet. No one would have guessed what she truly was; a fierce hunter
of the dead who could nail you between the eyes with a sniper rifle
at 1,000 yards, who was head strong and just wanted to follow in
their father's footsteps. Rachel smiled back at her.
"Hey
Kelly girl." She said.
"It was just a dream. It's over
now." Kelly said in her slightly high pitched voice.
Rachel
nodded. "I know. It's over for now."
"It can be
over for good. If you let it be."
Rachel thought on those
words, then shook her head.
"I can't." She said as
tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm so sorry I let you die, Kelly."
Kelly appeared to think for a moment, then looked back up. "What
was it I used to say? From the Disney movie?" Rachel chuckled
through her tears, she and Kelly said in unison.
"You've got
to put your behind in your pants."
They laughed together.
Kelly took a breath and seemed to get more serious.
"No. The
line is 'you've got to put your past behind you'" She said.
"I
can't do that, Kel. I miss you too much."
"I know you
do. And I know you have to blame someone for what happened, but you
can't blame yorself forever."
"It was my fault."
Rachel said to her specter.
"Let's not do this now."
Kelly said and smiled wide once again. "So this Dean, he's
really hot huh?"
Rachel snorted. "He's a jerk."
"A really cute jerk, huh Rach?" Kelly raised her
eyesbrows.
Rachel shrugged. it really almost felt like she was
sitting up at night talking about boys with her little sister.
"I
shouldn't feel that way right now. It's a betrayal." Rachel
said.
Kelly shook her head sadly.
"I give you permission
to be flustered by him, ok?" She said.
"No."
Rachel answered, saddening once again. "Loosing you still hurts
too bad, Kel. I don't deserve to be happy or get all googly over a
guy when your gone and it's all my fault."
Kelly gave her
the saddest most hurtful look. Even in death, her sister tried to
look out for her. Too bad Rachel couldn't have done the same and kept
Kelly alive,
"I'm sorry to hear that, Rachel." Was the
last thing kelly said.
The sisters gazed in silence at eachother
for a moment, then Rachel blinked and Kelly was gone.
She stared
at the spot where her sister had just occupied for how long, she
wasn't sure.
the only thing that brought her back was the tear
drop that landed on her arm. She looked down and realized she had
tear streaks all down her face. she wiped them away with her
fingertips, feeling freash tears fill her eyes.
Miserable, she
turned the lamp off and layed back down in the dark.
She wasn't
sure if she'd stopped crying or fell asleep first.
