A/N – So, Melly decided that she deserved a drabble of her own in my little universe. And she does. My girls are amazing. She requested the moment Bella found out she was pregnant with Masen. I wrote it. I'm so out of order with these outtake drabble thing-a-ma-bobers.
Small lemon included. Belated Merry Christmas, Melly!
Bella was daydreaming.
Having a doctor in the family had its benefits, one of them being that it had been a long time since she'd had to wait in the waiting room. Today she had to wait. Carlisle's office was occupied by an impromptu meeting about one of his regular patients. He had been profusely apologetic but Bella had been understanding. Real patients were vastly more important than she was. After all, there was nothing wrong with her.
She had been over helping Esme arrange a canned food drive that she was sponsoring for Thanksgiving. When she had confessed to eating nothing for breakfast Esme had immediately set a plate of food in front of her. Bella had pushed it around listlessly. Esme being Esme had prodded until Bella admitted that she hadn't really had a great appetite for a week or so. She had chalked it up to flu season - everyone was always on the brink of getting sick if they weren't sick already.
Ever since Edward had died, Esme was hyper aware of any potential health or safety risk to her family. At the slightest sign of any ailment, she would start worrying. Knowing that Esme wouldn't sleep well until she'd had herself checked out, Bella had allowed her to call Carlisle.
That was how Bella had ended up in a hospital waiting room. She was used to Carlisle either being readily available or his office being vacant, so she had not brought anything to amuse herself with. She had resorted to a battered Cosmopolitan magazine that she'd found in the magazine pile. She had been reading about the "12 things that drive him wild" when she had gotten caught up thinking about the day before.
It was Saturday morning and Bella had woken up before Jasper. She'd slipped out of bed, putting on a pair of the boy shorts she slept in and Jasper's wife beater. Tucking her hair up into a high ponytail and popping her earbuds in her ears, Bella had set about making breakfast. Her stomach had been acting funny so she didn't really feel like anything but she felt like making her husband's favorite meal.
She let herself get lost in the music as she worked, dancing her way around the kitchen. She was debating making eggs but even the thought of the smell of fried eggs made her nauseous. She was just returning the eggs to the refrigerator when she felt Jasper's hands at her hips. She smiled and stilled, letting him kiss her neck before she turned to face him.
Jasper didn't say a word. He leaned in as Bella tilted her head upward, their lips meeting and devouring each other hungrily. Their movements were instinctual and familiar; greedy and heated. He pulled the earbuds from her ears and tucked them safely into the pocket of her shorts with her I-Pod.
"Mmm, I consider myself a feminist, but I have to admit, the sight of my wife, barefoot and making breakfast in the kitchen in my undershirt is incredibly sexy," he growled in her ear. He moved his hands down to cup her ass, pulling her against him. "Of course, that could also have something to do with the way her magnificent little ass looks shaking around in these fantastic little shorts."
She'd laughed, feeling the fire for him spreading throughout her body. She wanted him - now. On the kitchen counter, on the floor, against the wall...but a smell permeated her lusty senses, bringing her back to reality. "Your wife is going to burn your breakfast if you don't let her go, and what will that do for your domestic fantasies?"
He made a grumbling noise but let her go long enough that she could flip the bacon and take the waffle out of the waffle iron.
Jasper reached over and twisted the knob on the stove off. Bella turned to look at him. He had fire in his eyes as he took the few steps toward her, putting his hands back on her hips and leaning in to trace slow kisses everywhere but her lips.
Bella let out a low whimper, trying to remember how to speak and desperate for his mouth on hers, among other things. "Your breakfast..."
"I like my bacon undercooked," Jasper claimed, though she knew damn well that he preferred his bacon on the crispy side. His hands worked their way under her shirt. He moved his fingers up her sides, around to her back, sending delightful shivers up her spine.
She could feel his arousal pressing against her through the thin material of the pajama pants he wore. With a roll of her eyes she gave in, she grabbed his arms and sidestepped a couple of times so her back was against the wall instead of the counter. Then she was attacking his lips with gusto. He kissed her back, hungry for only her. He slipped her shorts down, teasing her with his fingers rubbing over her but never into her until she was wriggling beneath him, moaning his name and aching for him.
Never one to be teased without teasing back, Bella had pushed his pajama pants down and had started to run her fingers over his erection, never squeezing. She worked her way over him and then under his length, running a single finger around his balls and in between them.
"Fuck," Jasper hissed between clenched teeth. He slid his hands back around to her ass, pressing upward. Understanding what he wanted, Bella had jumped slightly, wrapping her legs around him, her back leaning against the wall behind them. They were attached at the lips as Jasper guided himself into her.
The sharp cry of a child brought Bella back to the present and the doctor's office she was in. She felt a little embarrassed, having such a personal fantasy in such a public place. Her cheeks were flushed. It took a moment for her to realize that she was actually light headed. She'd broken out in a cold sweat, not a hot one. And her stomach was twisting. She stood and made a dash for the bathroom, getting in just in time to lose what little lunch Esme had guilted her into eating.
Bella stood, rinsing her mouth and splashing cool water on her face. She felt horrible. Her head pounded as she rested it against the wall, giving herself a moment before she stepped outside. Carlisle was standing in the waiting room when she emerged.
Noting the light sheen of sweat on her face and her queasy expression, Carlisle clucked in sympathy. "Sorry that took so long, Bella." He held the door open.
She shook her head and walked forward. She started to tell him it was no problem, but just then a woman walked out of the office, brushing by Bella quickly. The scent of her perfume hit Bella like a slap in the face. Her vision swam and her knees buckled. She pitched forward, her head striking the edge of the door as she fell. Her vision exploded in a white pain before the entire world went black.
Bella stirred only a short time later when a sharp, burning pain at her temple jarred her into consciousness.
"Sorry," Carlisle said. It took a moment for Bella to reorient herself. She was in one of the exam rooms, laying on one of the paper covered tables. Carlisle was at her head, cleaning the gash she had on her forehead.
Woozy and somewhat disoriented, Bella looked around the room. She saw that he had a stitch kit on the little silver table. She groaned quietly. She had been rather clumsy as a teenager and had had her share of stitches. She closed her eyes again, trying to ease her headache.
It took her a few minutes to realize that Carlisle wasn't talking. His usual bedside manner was soothing and gentle. His hands, as he stitched her head, were deft and as painless as possible, but it was odd that he wasn't talking. Bella opened her eyes and looked over at him without moving her head. He wasn't looking at her.
A sick sense of dread started to build in her stomach. "Carlisle? Is there something wrong?"
"No," he said quickly. He gave a tight smile but he still wasn't looking at her. "At least, I don't think so."
He finished his work.
"Please, Carlisle. What aren't you saying?"
Then he did look at her, and his smile was genuine, though his eyes held a hint of sadness. "I am fairly positive that you're pregnant, Bella."
Bella couldn't breathe. Her entire world seemed to crawl to a stop.
"Of course, we'll want to get all the usual tests run. If you're up to it, we can do the blood work right here," Carlisle continued quietly.
Bella had to laugh of the absurdity of Edward's father having to tell her she was pregnant with a child that wasn't his son's. Once she started laughing she couldn't stop. Then she was suddenly crying through her giggles; unsure of how to feel or what to want. Then she needed Jasper so badly she literally gasped out loud.
"Are you alright, dear?" Carlisle asked, concerned. He rubbed her back, trying to sooth her.
"I don't know," Bella admitted in a small voice. "We hadn't talked about this... we didn't plan. I need Jasper. Please. Will you call him?"
"Of course," Carlisle stood and moved to the door. "I'll be right back."
When he was gone Bella tried to process what she was feeling. She hadn't really thought about kids very often, even in her first life. Edward had wanted kids. They had talked about it in the months leading up to their wedding. Lying in his arms, Bella had been able to imagine a future with children in it. She had pictured a boy with Edward's deep green eyes or a rambunctious girl with his hair.
She had not thought about a future with children in it since Edward had died - taking that future with him. She and Jasper had not spoken about children at all. There was too much else to do. He had only been out of prison for 4 months and between trying to figure out how they worked together and trying to reacquaint themselves with actually living their lives, there hadn't been much talk of the future.
With a hand splayed over the flatness of her belly, Bella started to let herself imagine the life that was forming inside of her. She thought back to health class, remembering the cells splitting and multiplying. She glanced around the office, noticing for the first time a chart that showed what a baby looked like as it formed, week by week. One tiny cell to an alien looking thing to a full fledged human being. Bella gasped, overcome with a new emotion; a love and desire she had never felt before. She was insane with worry, her mind suddenly recalling the multitude of things that could go wrong, at the same time she was awash with wonder. She wanted to know everything. She wanted to know what her baby looked like right now and what she was supposed to do to keep it safe.
Most of all, she wanted Jasper here so she could allow herself to imagine a child in his arms - a child that was part her and part him; the combination of their love and the life they had built together.
***
Jasper ran down the hallway of the hospital, his footsteps seeming to echo with every frantic beat of his heart. His mind was a tumultuous mess of near panic. Let her be okay. Please, I can't do it again. I just can't.
He hated hospitals with a fiery passion. He had watched his father die in a hospital when he was a young boy and he had woken up in a hospital the first time he opened his eyes after Alice died. He hated knowing that somewhere in the same building he stood in, someone was probably taking their last breath as he ran through the halls.
He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't survive if it was Bella. He couldn't go through losing another woman he loved. It would destroy him. The mere possibility had him in an absolute frenzy.
Talking with a client, he hadn't answered his cell phone when Carlisle had called. It had taken him 20 minutes to find the missed call, 1 minute to listen to the voicemail Carlisle had left saying Bella was in the hospital and could he please come as soon as possible, and 5 horrendously long minutes for him to drive to the hospital from his work.
His logical mind had attempted to reason with him. Carlisle had sounded odd on the voicemail, but not sad or anxious. He'd sounded professional. He'd been in doctor mode. Surely, if Bella was knocking on death's door his voice would have held some measure of anxiety, or he would have had someone else call since he would have been by Bella's side. But Jasper's emotional mind had heard the words Bella and hospital and had told his rational mind to fuck off.
He barreled into Carlisle, nearly knocking the other man over. "Bella. Where is she, please tell me she's okay," Jasper babbled, his words running into each other he was speaking so fast.
Carlisle blinked, trying to understand Jasper's words and the panic that was written clearly all over his face. "She's fine. Jasper, calm down."
"You don't go to a hospital when you're fine," Jasper said through clenched teeth. Carlisle's words had their desired effect though. Relief calmed Jasper's frantic nerves somewhat.
Putting a steadying hand on Jasper's arm, Carlisle shook his head apologetically. "I should have been clearer in my message. I'm didn't mean to worry you. Bella was feeling sick and Esme convinced her to let me take a look at her. She fainted and hit her head. I've already stitched her up and she's fine. We're just running a few tests while she's here." He pointed to a room down the hallway, and Jasper was running again, forgetting his manners in his need to see his wife now.
She was perched on the edge of the paper covered table, her legs kicking the metal restlessly. Her head came up when he entered the room. He could see her eyes were red from crying, but she also had the strangest glow on her face. She launched herself off the table as he darted into the room, catching her easily. "Jesus Bella, you scared the hell out of me," he said into her hair, finally able to breathe again.
His arms wrapped tightly around her, Bella could feel the love Jasper had for her envelope her. She started crying again, unable to help herself. Jasper's back stiffened under her fingers. He backed away, holding her face in between his hands. His eyes were worried again. "Why are you crying? Carlisle said you were okay."
"I am," she assured him, trying to gather her thoughts and words. She didn't know how to say this. She was terribly afraid that he wouldn't want this. She looked into his worried eyes, getting lost momentarily in the beauty of how blue they were. She wondered if their child would have his eyes, and decided that she hoped it would. "I'm pregnant," she whispered.
Jasper blinked, a million thoughts filling his head at the same time.
He and Alice had talked about kids. Specifically, they'd talked about not having kids. Alice's Jasper had philosophized about kids not being a necessity and all the things they could do with their lives if they weren't tied down.
Bella's Jasper knew the frailty of human life and thought the idea that this new life he and Bella had created together might live and breathe and laugh and cry was profound. He thought about a million different things that a child could bring to their lives. He felt a million different emotions at once. Shock since this was not what he had expected - he had come into the hospital thinking of death only to be faced with a brand new life. Fear that he couldn't be the father that his and Bella's child deserved - just over a year ago he'd been nothing but a dead-eyed criminal wasting away in a prison cell.
The smile that lit his face then proved which emotion was winning over all of them. He was happy. More than happy, he was exultant. He needed to know what Bella thought so he would know how to react. "Are you okay with this?"
Bella thought back to the conversation she'd just had with Carlisle. Carlisle had come back after calling Jasper and had set about drawing her blood. He had apologized for his earlier behavior. "I don't want you to think I'm anything but happy for you and Jasper, Bella. It's just hard sometimes - reconciling the life that my son should have had with my desire to see you happy as well." She recognized, in all her tumbling emotions, that she was slightly guilty that Edward would have wanted this and she had not had the time to give it to him. She had understood Carlisle's emotions, and she allowed herself to let her guilt go. "I want this with you, Jasper. I want to be happy. I just need to know what you want."
Though she wouldn't have thought it possible, Jasper's smile got wider. "I'm gonna be a daddy?" he asked, letting the reality seep into him and letting the happiness spread. "We're going to have a baby?"
Sniffling, Bella smiled back, allowing hope to fill her, pushing aside every other emotion. She nodded. "Yea."
He whooped, louder than he had when she'd told him she wanted to marry him. He squeezed her to him tightly, then abruptly let her go. "Oh, god. I'm holding you too tightly. You have to tell me!"
Bella had to laugh, remembering her panicked thoughts just a while before. "You weren't holding me too tightly. I'm not made of glass, I'm just pregnant."
"Just?!" Jasper protested. He was grinning like an absolute idiot and it made Bella giddy. "When? Do you know? Where's Carlisle? I have questions."
She laughed again. "Mid-May," she answered.
Jasper did the math in his head. The baby would have been conceived in August then. He pursed his lips. Edward and Alice had both died in August. He and Bella had lost themselves in each other, reaffirming that they were still alive despite the pain they had both endured. It seemed bittersweet and fitting that this new life had begun on the anniversary of the death of Bella and Jasper's previous world. Life rising from ash. It was perfect. It was them.
Crikey. I'm going to go play with LIVE Edward and Bella now. Much love for Melly for always being there and for asking me for this moment. I hope I did it justice.