Cruel Jokes

Bobbi was a recent recruit to the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division when her right wrist burned. Wrapped around her wrist like a branded bracelet.

She'd never given much stock to Soulmarks. Her parents hadn't been marked to each other. She'd seen people whose marks had died, or who hated their supposed Soulmate, or people who had a Soulmark that indicated to one person, but that persons Soulmark indicated someone else.

It wasn't that she was against the idea of having a Soulmate, of loving someone so totally and completely. It was that she didn't want a mark on her skin to decide who it was.

The coconut brown words had seared themselves on her wrist when she was filling out her information page. She guessed when she got to the body modification or unique identification part she'd have to put that down.

Two days after they appeared Bobbi covered the words up and vowed that she wouldn't let them dictate who she loved. They were just words after all.

Working a mission was the last place she expected to meet someone. But, Lance was... Infuriating, annoying, intolerable, incorrigible... Handsome, English, charming... Maybe she'd had a few too many drinks, maybe he really was that great of a guy, maybe her perception was clouded by his tongue down her throat...

Bobbi and Lance had amazing chemistry, no-one could deny that. Izzy told her once that they were either going to be the best thing that happened to each other or the worst.

The problem was that either they were having amazing sex, teasing and flirting. Or they were fighting, screaming and yelling. There didn't seem to be an in between for them.

It came as a blow when she saw the words in her handwriting on the back of his left shoulder. Is that why he was so persistent in getting her to go out with him? Was her handwriting on his shoulder the reason he had pestered her until she agreed to a second date?

She felt sick at the thought - the thought that he only wanted her because he had her mark - and left as soon as she could, leaving Lance naked in bed, looking like a confused puppy.

Izzy called her an idiot, and Bobbi couldn't stop herself from going back to the bar they'd met at for their first date. Lance was there with a cluster of empty bottles around him. Bobbi pursed her lips, she didn't say anything, couldn't stand to be around him right now or she knew she'd end up right back in his bed. But, she told the bar to cut him off, paid his tab and left.

Hunter kept coming back, like a bad rash that just wouldn't go away. He'd turn up on her missions and they'd end up in bed. He'd turn up at her apartment and they'd end up in bed. He'd turn up at Franny's Saloon and they'd end up in bed...

He'd propose to her with a delicate little diamond ring at the most inopportune time - in the middle of a mission he'd crashed (again) - and they ended up married on the beach not far from where they'd met in California.

He didn't match her Soulmark!

She didn't care because she was convinced he was her Soulmate anyway.

Why didn't he understand that? Just because she had words on her wrist that weren't his didn't mean she loved him any less. He kept insisting she show him her words, to prove that they were meant to be. But, if that's what he was basing his decision on then she might as well leave.

That's how a lot of fights ended.

When Lance finally tells her he's seen the mark on her wrist they fight again. How could she not tell him that he's not her mark? What's she doing in the relationship if they're not Soulmates? What does it even matter about some words on their bodies? Doesn't love count for anything anymore? They don't have to have matching words to be in love!

He doesn't get it.

Why doesn't he get it?

She slams the door on her way out.

It's only after the divorce when she's drunk off her ass that she gets into S.H.I.E.L.D's database and runs the words on her wrist through the search. She'd been offered the option countless times before - and had almost caved out of pure curiosity - but she was determined that the words weren't going to dictate her.

There's a match!

It comes with a picture and a sample of her writing. The coconut brown eyes matched the colour on her wrist, the writing sample matches the words. The words of her Soulmark don't match her.

It's fucked up, Bobbi decides; her supposed Soulmate had a different Soulmate, and the man that she loves has her mark, yet it didn't work out. Maybe she holds a little resentment towards the girl because maybe it's her fault that her words don't match Lance's and maybe that's why they didn't work out.

She tries to tell herself that, but she knows it's not true. This girl never did anything wrong, but she'll never forget those eyes or that sweet smile.

Bobbi gets drunk again that night and Izzy has to drag her to bed when she comes home smelling like alcohol and familiar aftershave.

One night when she's undercover at HYDRA Bobbi pulls up the profile picture she'd saved of the girl whose writing was on her wrist. She swipes back and forth between her picture and Lance's until she falls asleep... She wakes up to the picture of the girl.

Bobbi knows it. Knows it in her head, logically, but the thought isn't processing.

Lance is there and it makes her heart ache painfully even though they're already bickering three seconds into seeing each other - personally she prefers her hair blonde too. Lance knows too. She can see it in the way his eyes flicker between them when they're in the same room, filled with hurt and longing.

She knew she was going to be there - how could she not? - but she was not prepared for being in such close proximity all the time. Her mark itched, it ached, it yearned.

It was her mark, not her!

She figured if she stayed away it wouldn't matter, besides, she had her own Soulmate now. Of course staying away from one person in the small base means she can't stay away from another. It's too small a space to avoid two people. And when she's not avoiding Hunter it inevitably lead to bed... Or an SUV as the case may be.

Pushing her Soulmate away doesn't really work that well. The pull is magnetic, she doesn't know if it's genuine affection or the result of the mark and she suddenly understands Hunter. It didn't matter if it was the mark or if it was her own volition; what mattered was that she was falling in love with the girl.

Now she avoided her because she couldn't stand be near her without crumbling, because her heart always skipped a beat now, because maybe she was realising that there was a reason they had Soulmarks. Even if they only led to heartache.

Then Puerto Rico happened.

Bobbi could feel her; the panic, the fear, the hopelessness. It made her nearly double over as everything started shaking. Her mark was burning on her wrist, nearly painful, nearly glowing. Even Hunter stopped to look.

It was a cruel joke.

If she had been marked to Hunter everything would have been simple, easy.

Hunter was marked to her, but she was marked to someone else, who in turn was marked to someone else. Who had died.

Trip was dead and Bobbi was packing up his belongings in his grandfathers old Howling Commandos trunk. Bobbi had known Trip for years - they'd been on a few missions together in the past, and recently - they were and she was in love with his Soulmate. She couldn't stand to go near quarantine; Skye was there. God, Skye!

The girl was devastated - rightfully so - and Bobbi may be selfish, but she couldn't stand to see it. So Bobbi kept herself busy to keep herself away. Packing Trips belongings, sparring with Mack, sleeping with Hunter.

She felt like a traitor; kissing Hunter, sleeping with Hunter, loving Hunter... Letting him love her... Letting Skye be alone in quarantine while she was with someone else.

Most of the time she liked to go one-on-one with the punching bag, letting out all her confusion and frustrations into the leather and sand. May had only found her crying against the bag once, though, so she counted that as a win!

Six days after San Juan, Bobbi caved and went down to quarantine.