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Author's Note: Oh gosh, that took far longer than it should have but not my fault. Between photoshoots, graduations, birthdays, birthday preparations, sleepovers, family nights, church and marathons I ended up stressing myself into a summer cold with my body at war with me which left me exhausted and drained of inspiration, I am so sorry.
I think the fog might be lifting as I am slowly getting my voice back and the ability to breathe out of both nostrils so I took advantage of that and finally finished out this chapter that I have been attempting to get out for weeks. So sorry it took me this long.
You guys are my inspiration and are amazing. I cannot believe the response you guys have given me. I am touched and you are without a doubt the reason why this chapter is here. You guys helped me to never give up on it despite my frustrations and lack of time. So thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
It also helped that a friend volunteered to go with me so I could see Avengers for the 6th time. I just need more. It is so amazing.
This chapter also tries a different tack and I hope you like it.
Enjoy.
When they got back to base Fury was waiting for them. He oversaw their prisoners being transferred to a secure holding facility and Steve getting his injured men to the infirmary ward. When it was finally just Natasha, Clint, Steve and Agent Hill, they waited with baited breath to see what he might add to what he had said in transit, but he just sighed and said, "Get yourselves cleaned up and go home. There will be a full debriefing later. Good job, agents."
They nodded wearily before complying. Maria walked with them all the way back to their locker room on the way to her own.
"Thank you," Steve said as Maria made to continue down the hall after arriving at theirs, "We couldn't have done it without you."
Maria turned back and took in his honest face before cracking the first genuine smile Natasha had ever seen the woman give as she replied, "I was happy to help, Captain."
With that, she continued on her course, holding herself perhaps a little differently. Natasha cocked her head slightly, amused as it seemed that the agent had a little bit of a crush. Natasha turned to Clint with a raised brow, which he responded to by smirking knowingly. Natasha wasn't the only one to pick up on the possibility of an "office" romance.
Cap had already turned and gone into the room and thus missed the silent communication between the two operatives. They shared a small grin and followed him in.
Twenty minutes later with the trio showered and back in their civilian clothes. Neither Clint nor Natasha were surprised when Steve joined them with his duffle bag as they were prepped to leave.
He seemed a little hesitant at first, like he didn't want to impose by going home with them but when he paused to ask if it was okay, Clint simply took his bag and walked out the door. Tasha smiled at his surprised face before nodding at him and saying, "Come on."
Steve followed them to the car with no complaints as Clint put the bag in the backseat and only insisted that Natasha should take the front seat instead of him.
She was honestly surprised it had taken him this long. Steve did not seem the type to enjoy the lone soldier routine. The drive back to the tower was the type of quiet that typically followed a strenuous mission, but it managed to be companionable at the same time.
They had hopes of a quiet evening as they ascended the tower in the elevator, but those hopes were quickly dashed as the doors opened to 80's rock being blared from Tony's wall-to-wall screen. It appeared that Tony had wrangled Bruce into playing Rock Band with him.
Clint grimaced at the loudness "Could you turn it down, Stark?"
Tony barely turned his head at the newcomers and continued on with his guitar solo "I'm sorry Agent Kill Joy but we're in the middle of a tournament and the volume is non-negotiable."
"Is it always this loud?" Steve asked Natasha as quietly as he could and still be heard over the Bon Jovi track.
Tony then turned while still hitting buttons blindly on his guitar and noticed Steve and his duffle for the first time "Ah, it looks like somebody invited Captain Freedom Pants to a sleepover and forgot to tell me."
"He's staying, Tony," Natasha replied in her no-nonsense way.
"Who's staying?" a voice asked from the hallway. Pepper frowned at the noise and promptly said, "Jarvis, could you please turn down the volume and pause the game?"
"Will do, Miss Potts," the smooth British accent of Tony's AI said as the volume was cut in half before it stopped.
Tony made to complain but Pepper cooled him down with a kiss on the cheek before breezing past him to the entry way with a gracious smile on her face.
"Captain Rogers," she exclaimed in a pleased manner "I didn't know you'd be coming."
"I only made the decision today, ma'am," he informed her, still feeling awkward as he adjusted his grip on his bag.
"Well, I am glad you did," she said in a warm manner that Tony could never manage "and please call me Pepper. I'm sorry we don't have the individual floors for you finished yet but you are free to take one of the guest rooms on this floor. We're all kind of rooming here for now."
Tony made a face "I'm not sure there's really enough room."
"You don't need 5 rooms for your personal projects Tony. You can move some to one of the other 100 floors. Now share and play nice," Pepper scolded him gently.
Someone who didn't know them better might mistake their exchanges as actual disagreements and signs of dislike. But after spending any amount of time with Tony Stark it was hard not to respect Pepper's use of tough love as well as not notice the genuine affection and love Tony had for her, despite what he said.
Taking in Tony's slumped shoulders as grudging acceptance, Pepper turned back to new arrivals "I was just about to make some dinner. Who's hungry?"
"I am," Bruce called from his spot on the couch with his Rock Band drums.
"Great," Pepper said with a beaming smile that showed she felt completely at home amongst the superheroes. "Steve, would you mind helping me?"
"It'd be my pleasure," Steve said cordially as he dropped his duffle on a table by the door and went to wash his hands.
Natasha shot Clint an amused grin that seemed to ask 'well what do you want to do now?'. Before he could reply though Tony yelled from the living area, "Hey Ninja Buddies! If you aren't too busy with your telepathic conversations would you mind filling us out? We need vocals and a bass guitarist."
He then added as a personal taunt to Clint, "Unless you can't play the guitar as well as you can the bow?"
Clint snorted, "Please, I'm a vocals man. It'll be Nat kicking your ass at bass."
"Bring it," Tony said with a playful sense of competition.
Natasha gave the boys a smooth 'challenge accepted' face and strode confidently into the entertainment area of the large living space.
Clint smirked appreciatively while Bruce bore an expression that said 'what have we unleashed?'.
Clint thought they should have known better than to try to go up against two highly trained assassins who pride themselves at being the best in everything but all in all they had a good time even if they couldn't always agree on song choices. Before too long though, Pepper was calling from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Tony grumbled about being interrupted again but came without too much of a fuss.
Of course once they were all seated and dishing up the spaghetti and meatballs Steve and Pepper had prepared, that didn't stop him from stuffing his face.
"Bruce mentioned today was your first day with your new handler. How did that work out?" Pepper asked like a concerned mother would her kids after their first day back to school whilst simultaneously whacking Tony's hand with a serving spoon when he tried to take more than one piece of garlic bread.
Clint, Natasha and Steve all groaned.
Bruce looked up from his spaghetti, with a sympathetic grin, "That bad?"
"Understatement of the year, " Clint muttered darkly into his water.
"What happened?" Pepper asked.
"From what I gathered from the mid-mission consult, they wanted you to risk your lives for useless intel even though the smart decision would have been to blow that hunk of junk the moment you could," Stark surmised brilliantly as usual.
"She's basically a bureaucratic robot," Steve commented grimly.
"What were her orders?" Bruce asked, looping the long noodles on his fork.
"She wanted us to give away our element of surprise and have a nice chat with the lunatics who were looting Boston," Natasha informed the group.
"One of those hippie make-peace-not-war types?" Dr. Banner inquired sympathetically.
"I wish," Clint answered. "More like one of those, doesn't have a second of real field experience under her belt types but who had dinner with a congressman and thinks they are God's gift to tactical planning."
Pepper shook her head, having dealt with the type many times in her running of Stark industries.
"So what is Miss Brainless Bureaucrat's name?" Tony was asking in an attempt to be nonchalant while typing on the touch screen on the table's surface next to his now abandoned plate.
"Agent Joan Bridges," Natasha informed him, a theory forming in her head the second he put down his fork. "Why?
"No reason," he responded with a wave of his hand while continuing to click away.
"I would remind you about how I feel about hacking at the dinner table," Pepper started as she took a sip of her wine. She looked over at the three agents who'd dealt with the unpleasant woman and adding conspiratorially, "but I think I'll let it slide this time."
A big smile spread across Clint's face. He and Tony may not always get along but, in his eyes, that made the billionaire Clint's first choice to sic on Bridges.
["Well whatever she is," Steve said, bypassing the little exchange and brooded cynically over his dinner. "She has no business leading a field team like ours."]
They all sat in silence, absorbing the disaster of putting a pacifist in charge of a global threat response team. Tony suddenly clapped and then closed out the windows on the touch screen table.
"Alright, that's taken care of," he announced in a pleased-with-himself manner. "Now, there are no idiots here so let's not focus on them."
"So says you," Clint chuckled under his breath, looking out of the corner of his eye to Tasha, as was his custom. She responded with an amused twitch of her lips anyone else would have overlooked. She remained silent, however, as Tony had, no doubt, just caused the person who'd put their lives in danger a little portion of hell, no doubt, and she was grateful.
"You're one to talk, " Tony said quickly, intently meeting Clint's gaze, but he had a large and easy grin so Natasha knew there hadn't actually been any harm done, just the usual banter.
Stark cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, I think in honor of the great Capsicle's initiation into the Tower, I propose we start educating him in modern technology."
Steve furrowed his brow as he put his used napkin on his now empty plate. "SHIELD already gave me a basic briefing my first 2 weeks out."
"I'm sure they did," Tony said in a condescending manner that was the norm for him. "But did they show you any movies?"
"They showed some tutorial videos and documentaries on what I've missed," Steve said, still feeling awkward about the experience of catching up and being so far behind.
Tony just kind of blinked at him for a moment, before saying, "Yeah, sorry Cap, doesn't count."
Then he stood and turned to the group who, for the most part, were finished eating, period "Okay, who has any suggestions?"
"You could try Heart and Souls," Pepper suggested as they rose and headed for the entertainment center.
Tony smiled in an indulgent manner. "Pepper dear, I already watch that with you twice a year. It may be your favorite but I think maybe we should show Cap here something with a bit more pizzazz."
"Avatar," Bruce offered immediately.
"Maybe too much pizzazz," Tony commented. "We don't want to overload the boy."
"Maybe Bourne Identity," Natasha threw out as she sat down and earned an approving grin from Clint.
"Not all of us enjoy spy games as much as you two do," Tony said as delicately as he could so as not to offend the formerly Russian spy and end up tazed in the middle of the night for his trouble.
"Prestige," Clint recommended, settling in next to Nat.
"Um… how bout not? We don't want to mess with poor delicate Apple Pie American Boy's mind too much with the first movie," Tony shot down as he went to review his extensive movie collection where Steve was already standing.
Steve, fortunately, was too distracted by the overwhelmingly large collection of discs to fully listen to what Tony was saying. Just then he pulled one out with a confused look on his face and said, "What's this one about?"
Tony took it from him and put it back. "No Scott Pilgrim tonight. That requires an entire lesson series of gaming before you are ready for that, Cap."
"If you're going to shoot down everyone else's ideas, why are you even bothering to ask?" Clint questioned critically as he put his feet up on the coffee table.
"Listening to your bad ideas helps me think of better ones," Tony told him matter-of-factly.
Pepper let out a tired sigh but a look from Tasha made Clint drop the disparagement. There was no point in arguing with Tony when he was being petulant like this.
"I've got it," he then said unexpectedly going to grab a movie before revealing it, "Titanic!"
There was a resounding shout of disapproval from the others while Steve just looked mildly confused.
"Party poopers," Tony muttered as he put it sadly back.
Bruce sat up straighter with an epiphany. "What about Star Wars?"
Tony suddenly looked at him wide-eyed and burst into a smile, "You, my friend, are a genius. I knew there was a reason I kept you around."
Bruce smiled at actually having the winning idea while Tony enthusiastically went to go get his special edition copy.
"I thought we were supposed to be showing Steve something contemporary," Natasha voiced with an arch of her delicate eyebrow. "Didn't Star Wars come out in the seventies?"
"Yeah, but it's a classic," Clint pointed out.
Natasha shrugged, causing Clint to narrow his eyes, "You have seen it, haven't you?"
"I saw the one with the moody teenager and the coliseum," she answered in a dead pan manner.
"You haven't seen the originals?" Clint asked, sitting straight up in great surprise at having learned something new about his good friend.
"Never much time," she informed him simply.
"Well, aren't you in for a treat?" he said with a big smile.
"Well, aren't you the little geek?" Tony countered as he came back in with the DVDs.
"So says the grown man with the entire Star Wars action figure collection," Clint muttered under his breath.
"Impulse buy at an auction," Tony defended.
"Liar," Pepper scoffed. "You cancelled a meeting so that you could reprogram JARVIS to help you outbid everyone at the last second on eBay."
This earned snickers from the others as Tony put the movie in.
"You're just jealous," he informed them primly.
Without further ado, they all settled in to watch, after Tony turned off the lights.
They had a good time. Tony narrated most of it with his color commentary while constantly looking to see Cap's reaction to the changes and twists in the plot. Clint, too, was curious about Natasha's reactions but he was far more subtle about it and she rewarded him occasionally with a smirk or a grin but more often than not, she kept her face impassive. Steve, however was far more animated. Pepper even thought that it was better to start off with special effects technology like this but considering he'd been around SHIELD tech since he came out it wasn't as big of a deal as it might have been to another newbie. They stopped once for Bruce to make popcorn and it was obvious by all of his questions that Steve was enjoying the plot.
When they were done, Steve proceeded to continue asking questions and asked to start the next one but as Pepper was falling asleep on Tony's shoulder, he said they better call it a night and escorted her to their bed.
Bruce and Steve stayed behind with Clint and Natasha to continue to discuss the movie. Natasha occasionally surprised them by offering her own opinion on the subject but for the most part kept quiet and let the boys geek out while Steve tried to absorb what he had just watched.
Before they knew it, it was midnight and Steve was struggling to keep his eyes open when Bruce stood up and said he better head to bed. Steve took this as his cue to leave too as his exertions from his on the ground combat that day had drained him.
Then it was just Clint and Tasha, sitting much as they had the entire evening in close proximity with their sides touching. While they were tired from the stress of dealing with the idiotic Bridges, they weren't quite as exhausted as Captain Rogers and as such, were content to sit in the dimly lit common room in each other's company.
"Interesting day," she remarked quietly to the silence that had engulfed them since the scientist and the soldier had left ten minutes before.
"If you mean you didn't expect to do battle with a ship in Boston's Commons and then watch a science fiction classic with an American hero when you woke up this morning, then yes, I agree," Clint quipped in his typical manner.
"Yes, there is that," she commented in the easy-going way that Clint normally only ever heard when she didn't have to keep her walls up.
Clint snickered to himself and leaned his head back against the cushions, "Well, it definitely didn't go as planned. But I suppose life would be boring then."
She turned her head and really looked at him for the first time since they'd been left alone and said with an obvious edge to her serious tone, "You were different today."
He let out a deep breath and tilted his head up to meet her gaze which clearly meant 'I am not going to drop this, so don't even think of switching subjects, we are going to get to the bottom of why that is' and he couldn't help but admire her ability to say so much with just her eyes
"I know," he admitted with chagrin. He knew Natasha well enough to know that as soon as he hesitated, she'd want to figure out why but he couldn't help it. He thought that Star Wars would distract him from it but there were some things you couldn't just bottle up or kick under the rug. "It was our first mission back."
"And you hesitated," she finished for him. "You don't hesitate. What happened?"
"Loki. What else could it be?" he asked in an exasperated fashion, turning his gaze back to the ceiling. The ceiling at least didn't look on him with x-ray vision that could read the secrets of his soul like the woman beside him did.
She didn't say anything but let him think as he tried to explain exactly why, for the first time since they had met all those years ago, he had doubted his abilities.
"I was worried about you," he said quietly though he was sure that was fairly obvious. He just couldn't think of another way to start. "It was a simple situation and it should have been no big deal but for, some reason, today, it was. I had feelings and I let it cloud what should have been straight forward. And some of that is because of Loki. He didn't brainwash me," he expanded carefully, "I've seen the reports and heard what people say and they're wrong. It wasn't about the mind. It was about the heart. He took my feelings and my loyalties and treated them like putty. He used my relationship with SHIELD, with Selvig and you, and forged them into whatever he wanted."
"'You have heart'," He whispered nearly inaudibly.
"What?" she spoke for the first time since he started.
"That's what he said, down in the basement, just before he took over," Clint answered. He sat up and leaned forward, still not ready to meet her gaze as his mind wandered down such a dark path. "That's why he chose me. Because I was a fighter. And today, when you told me to hold onto your rope, I couldn't help but think of how Loki would have used that against me. And I know I'm clean and I've been subjected to every test SHIELD could think of to make sure he's gone but I couldn't help but fear, in that moment, that whatever part of him that had replaced me wasn't gone and that he would come back and I wouldn't be able to help but watch as he killed you."
Natasha couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine as she thought of the threat which plagued her nightmares that Loki made and she had sworn she would never tell him. It wasn't that Clint couldn't handle it but that with his tendency to take the world on his shoulders he didn't need the ghost of an event that never happened to haunt him like it did her.
"He was right," she told him, looking at the back of his head, "you do have heart. But did you ever think that that is why I put my life in your hands? We've both been through enough in our lives to turn us to stone, and sometimes I feel like that's what's happened to me. But you never let it. You make your calls and execute orders based on your gut. That's what saved me."
He turned to look her in her eyes at the utter sincerity in her voice and was amazed, not for the first time, at the faith that he had somehow and miraculously won from what many considered to be the professionally stand-offish spy.
"He's gone and he isn't coming back," she insisted for not the first time, before adding with that steely determination of hers that he so admired, "I won't let him."
And she looked into his eyes, as he leaned back against the couch to be level with her, daring him to look away with her intensity, but he wouldn't fold this time. He wasn't the type of romantic idiot to say that he got lost in her beautiful blue eyes and that he found the answers to the universe within her shining orbs, because, well, for starters, that was cheesy but also just not true. But he could say that she said more with the unwavering way she held his gaze than her words ever could. She was able to communicate her fierce trust and determination to never have him put in a situation like Loki put him in again as well as letting him know that she would always be there for him.
And he knew it was true, if he ever wanted to talk, or not talk as more often the case turned out to be, then he could come to her. She wouldn't judge him or tell him he was stupid. She would never tell him to get over whatever was bothering him because she'd been there and she knew that there were some demons that could never be forgotten or gotten over. She would never betray him or belittle him for what he thought. She would be there and at the end of days like today and that is what got him through. He could never repay her for the number of times she had his back or saved his life, or helped him clear his mind.
While they might spend months or years apart, she was resolute in his mind as a safe harbor and the one who would help him through, and he could only hope that she thought the same of him. He would do whatever she needed and he just wanted her to know that. Wanted her to understand how grateful he was to her without all of the clumsy words that were inadequate in expressing his gratitude for their often wordless bond.
So it was a natural move for him to lean closer, as easy as breathing to close the distance between them without ever breaking eye contact before capturing her lips with his. There was no complaining in her camp whatsoever as she moved to reciprocate.
The kiss was lengthened from there as Clint tried to show her just how much she meant to him, tried to pour his need for her into that single embrace. Clint deepened the kiss as he turned to face her properly, positioning one hand on her waist and other on her neck, playing with her hair with the tips of his fingers.
She pulled him closer with her own personal need to express to Clint what he meant to her as she bit his lower lip.
Normal people would call what they had, their connection, their relationship, love. But she'd meant what she had said to Loki at the cell in the Helicarrier; love is for children. Love was sentiment that got you killed, they were simply two people who understood each other better than anyone else ever would. Two people who would be there when they felt low and isolated. Call it what you will, but more often than not, they were simply all they had when everything else was unclear.
They didn't get like this often; physically entangled that is, but in a relationship that didn't need words, sometimes action was all they had. As they stood, lips still connected and limbs tangled as they headed for whoever's room was closer, Clint knew that the talking portion of the evening was over but it had done its job. The weight that had been crushing his chest the entire day had slipped away quietly and unnoticed in her presence.
And while the next day might lead them into an even more dangerous encounter with the possibility of death, with Tasha in his arms he felt like it might not be so bad, like it might be like old times. Because he knows she'll have his back and he'll have hers and that's all he needs to know.
Author's note: Awww, okay that was hard and maybe not what any of you were expecting or wanting but I think that it worked out the way I wrote it. Maybe a bit more tame but hey, this isn't a smut fic and that's not the point of this chapter. It did what I needed it to, I can only hope I managed to keep it in character.
I had so much fun with the beginning and writing all of them being buddy-buddy and having fun. Tony is a hoot. And I spent several hours trying to figure out what they would watch and suggest, even going to far to having an intense discussion with my family about it.
Also, I feel like I should let you guys know, that this story is kind of wrapping up. Like I only have the epilogue left. As much as I love this story and all of you guys, this is the story I set out to tell. I only intended this to be a four or five chapter relationship study of Clint and Natasha's relationship after the events of the movie. And I've done that and I am incredibly proud.
While I do have other little ideas for you know general team bonding activities, I feel like if I were to do a sequel, I would not only not have the stamina to finish it but also that it's quality would deteriorate which I really don't want and would ruin what I did with this one.
So this is it. There is still an epilogue for my loose ends but then that's it.
I'll save my proper good byes for then but just know that you guys are so amazing and I am so proud of what I've managed to accomplish with your help.
Now, indulge an ill girl who's worked her butt off on trying to make a fun team fun chapter meld with an angsty heart-to-heart and let me know what you think.
Review!
Love, Fin (that is my name not my closing comment).