My Throbbing Heart

Chapter 4: Letting Go

Onigumo just looked at his brother with wide eyes as he let go of his chin. Naraku's eyes were still on the ground, afraid to look at his brother. "You're what?"

"I am still I love with Kikyo," he said softly under his breath.

"But how? She cheated on you… with your best friend…in your own apartment. How could you still be in love with a woman who had torn you into pieces?"

"I know. But, every time I try to forget about her, my mind wanders back to the good times we had. What we had was something special Onigumo."

"Not special enough since she cheated on you." Naraku bit the inside of his cheek and Onigumo just sighed. "Do you want her back?"

"No, I don't. Even if I did, I wouldn't do it. I just want to stop loving her."

"The only way for you to do that is to love someone else and forget about the love you had or have for Kikyo." Naraku nodded his head. "But how are you going to snap out of this left over love for Kikyo?" Onigumo thought for a second until something came to mind. "How 'bout you talk to Kikyo."

"Why? What will that do?"

"Make you organize your feelings for you. I highly doubt you still love her after four years. Have a conversation with her and see how everything goes. Eventually she will say something that will make you snap out of whatever you are under. Or you can go to grandma and get a cleansing."

"I rather go to grandma…even though she scares me."

"I know, but she is the best at what she does. We'll go after we close up."

"Will she still be awake?"

"She will be if I call her now and tell her we will stop by." Naraku just gave his brother a little smile before heading to the back. He saw Kagome standing in the corner talking on the phone. He could barely hear what she was saying, but to his ears it sounded like she was crying. Naraku was about to ask her what she was doing until he saw her throw her phone on the ground, snapping it in half. Kagome cursed under her breath and started to pick up her broken phone, not realizing Naraku behind her.

"What are you doing? Kagome tensed up as she started to wipe her tears away. She stood up and placed her broken phone in her pocket. She was going to have to get a new one. She looked at Naraku and gave him a fake smile.

"Nothing. I am not doing anything."

"You think you can fool me? You were crying. Your cheeks are still red and so your eyes are swollen."

"No, they are not," Kagome said as she wiped away tears that started to fall. Naraku knew it was not his business whether she was okay or not, but for some reason, he did not want to see her cry anymore.

"What is wrong Kagome?"

"I said nothing."

"Then why did you smash your phone on the ground?" Kagome's eyes became big. She did not want to have this conversation with him. She just wanted to go home and cry until she went to sleep. "Are you going to answer me?"

"No." She looked at him, this time with anger in her eyes. "I am not going to tell you shit so just back the fuck off!" Kagome pushed past him until he grabbed her wrist and brought her back to him. She spun around and started to punch at his chest, which wasn't doing anything. He grabbed her other hand, squeezing them both tight so she could not get away. "Let me go!"

"Not until you tell me why you are upset."

"Why does it matter? You don't care for me, so why bother?"

"I am returning a favor. You helped me, now it is my turn to help you," he said firmly. Kagome looked up at him with immense teary eyes and Naraku couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She stopped struggling against him and Naraku let his grip go. Before he knew it, she gripped onto his shirt and cried into his chest. He did not know what to do. He looked around but no one was in sight. He sighed and did what his mother did to him when he cried; he patted her head and made a 'shoosh' sound to calm her. To his surprise, it worked. She calmed down, her shaking shoulders going to a soft tremble. Naraku smiled a bit at his success to calm her, but he still needed to find out what was bothering her.

"Are you better?" Kagome nodded her head into his chest. "Now will you tell me what happened?"

"My boyfriend… broke up with me."

"Oh…. I am sorry to hear that."

"Yeah right," she chuckled. "He broke up with me through a text message."

"Are you serious?" She nodded her head. "Then he wasn't a man if he couldn't do it in person."

"Yeah, I realize that now. I had called him up and asked him about it. He told me he was getting tired of me and wanted something new and different in his life. I knew that was a lie because I heard a girl giggling in the background. He finally confessed and told me he was cheating on me." Naraku relaxed a bit more against her since he knew how she felt. "Turns out he had been cheating on me for the past two months. The girl he was fucking behind my back is pregnant. So, I let him go. But I just do not understand. Everything seemed fine between us…I just don't see where it went wrong."

"I know how you feel Kagome." Kagome looked up at Naraku and saw him staring off in a corner. "My ex cheated on me too, so I know how you feel."

"I know," she said softly. She placed her head back down on his chest and closed her eyes, inhaling the cologne that clung to him. "Heh…you just can't trust people now a day's…huh."

"Nope." Naraku looked down at Kagome and never realized how small she was compared to him. He was a big guy, but he never realized how frail she was till now. He started to feel awkward just holding her. He only knew the girl for two days and he was already comforting her. He pulled her away from him so he could look at her. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Do you need a ride home or something?"

"No, I think I can manage. Besides, I take the bus home."

"I didn't know buses ran that late." Kagome just cocked her head to the side. He just cocked and eyebrow and said, "I am giving you a ride home."

"You don't need to; I said I will be fine."

"I don't care. You are in no condition to be on a bus this late to get home. What if you fall asleep?"

"I won't. I'll be –"

"I don't give a damn. I am taking you home." Kagome just gazed at Naraku. Why was he trying to help her? He couldn't give a rats ass about her, but for some reason, he cared right now. "Go get your purse."

"But—"

"Don't 'but' me woman. Go get your stuff so I can take you home." Kagome frowned at him as she headed towards the office. Naraku came behind her and saw his brother starting to close up. "Hey Onigumo, I am going to take Kagome home."

"Huh? Why?"

"She is not in the right condition to take the bus."

"Did something happen?"

"I said I was fine," Kagome said as she came up behind Onigumo. "Naraku thinks I will fall asleep on the bus, so he is taking me home."

"Hm, alright, but as soon as you drop her off, meet me at Grandma's house."

"I will." Naraku looked at Kagome and smirked at her. "Don't throw up in my car alright."

"Whatever." Kagome walked passed him and headed out the door with him behind her. "Where is the car?"

"It's in the back. Wait here while I go and bring it around." Kagome just stayed quiet as she watched him walk behind the bar. She really could not wait to get home and forget about this night. Naraku came around the corner driving a 2010 silver Stingray Corvette. Kagome just stared at the car with amazement. She loved Corvettes and the way the engine roared made her weak to her knees. He unlocked the door and Kagome jumped. She was afraid to touch a car as beautiful as this. He rolled down the window and leaned over. "Are you going to get in?"

"You have a 2010 Stingray Corvette."

"Okay, so?"

"Is it even on the market?"

"I have no idea. I got it as a birthday present from my father."

"Are you enormously rich?"

"I guess."

"What do you mean you guess?"

"Are you going to get in the car?" Kagome stared at Naraku as her fingers inched slowly to touch the handle. Naraku growled under his breath and leaned over more to open the door. Kagome stepped back as it swung open. She slowly stepped into the car, the leather seats adjusting to her comfort. She closed her eyes as she slowly closed the door with a soft click. Naraku just looked at her with a weird look on his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry. I just love Corvettes."

"Oh, well sit back and relax and enjoy the ride." Naraku pressed on the gas and sped off into the night.

"It's this building here." Naraku pulled up into the drive way and stopped at the gate.

"This is weird."

"What is?"

"You live in the same apartment complex as I do. Which side do you live in?"

"The West wing."

"Damn."

"Let me guess, you live in the same wing?" Naraku nodded his head. He passed through the gate and found a parking spot in front of the apartment as he cut off the engine. "Thanks for the ride Naraku."

"You think I am just gonna let you walk to your door by yourself?" Kagome looked confused. "My mom raised me better than that. I'll walk you to your door." Kagome's face flushed and Naraku smiled. "Are you blushing?"

"No!" Kagome barked. Naraku laughed as he stepped out of his car. Kagome followed suit and shut the door behind her. She started to head up the stairs, Naraku close behind her. She turned the corner and Naraku's heart started to pound quicker. When Kagome stopped he bumped into her. "Are you okay?"

"You live a few doors down from me."

"Oh so you are the one who lives in that big condo in the corner?" Naraku nodded his head. "Do you and your brother live there together?"

"Yeah. My brother and I are inseparable." Kagome giggled. "How come I have never seen you around here?"

"I just moved in a few days ago. I still have some unpacking to do." Kagome smiled at him and Naraku just rubbed his head. "Well, thanks for the ride Naraku. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Alright, goodnight." Naraku waited for Kagome to walk inside and close the door before he left. "Why do I feel so strange around her," he said softly under his breath. Naraku walked back to his car and started the engine. He ran his fingers through his hair as a tiny smile came across his face. "Time to see Grandma."

"Oh my boy," Grandma Rio said as she squeezed Naraku tightly. She was a short woman who did not look like she was in her seventies. She still looked like she was in her forties. Her hair was a grayish color with a black tint to it, tied in a bun. She wore a traditional Japanese Kimono that was a crimson red with pink flowers.

"Hey Grandma." Naraku returned her warm hug. Even though she was strange, he still loved her deeply.

"So, what is this about Onigumo saying you need a cleansing?"

"I think I am still in love with Kikyo." His grandmother frowned and he looked at the ground. His grandmother hated Kikyo with a passion and was glad when the two broke up, but wanted her to die for hurting her grandson.

"There is no such thing. I know the perfect spell to clear all that up. Stay here as I get it all ready." His grandmother left the two in her living room as she disappeared around the corner.

"I hope this doesn't hurt."

"When has any of her spells ever hurt you?"

"None, but I never know what it is so I am always cautious." Onigumo nodded his head to that. Naraku looked around and smiled as memories from his childhood came to his mind. "Remember how we would always play hide and go seek in the backyard?"

"Yeah, I remember that. It would take me hours to find you. You were always good at hiding." Naraku gave him a toothy smile. "This house will always hold good memories."

"Naraku," his grandmother called.

"Yeah?"

"It is ready. Go into the bedroom and strip down into your boxers and come to the bathroom."

"Alright." Naraku did what she had asked him and walked to the bathroom, Onigumo close behind him. His grandmother was knelt by the bathtub, candles and sweet incents burning. She was mixing something in a small bowl that mixed in with the sweet smell. He looked at the bathtub and saw that it was filled to the top, steam coming from the water with a milky look to it with tiny salt beads. Naraku looked in the mirror and saw how pale he was. Was he scared? Yes. Did he trust his grandmother? Yes. His scar looked like it glittered in the dim lightning. He touched his neck lightly and closed his eyes.

This scar was always going to be with him. Whatever lies underneath it scares him. He doesn't want to know what they had put in him six years ago. He wishes he could forget that night, but he knew that he couldn't.

"Naraku," his grandmother said softly. "Step into the bathtub and sit down as slow as you can." Naraku nodded his head and took a step into the bathtub, turning around before he started to settle himself down into the tub as slow as he could. The water moved around him, spilling over the side as he made himself comfortable, the warm water caressing his muscles. "Drink this," his grandmother said, shoving the small bowl in his face. He looked at the green liquid with distaste as the smell hit his nose.

"What is this –?"

"Don't ask questions!" She snapped. "Just drink it." Naraku did what she asked and wanted to spit it out. "Spit it out and you will regret it." Naraku forced the liquid down his throat and wanted to puke. "Finish the rest of it." Naraku pinched his nose as he drank the rest of it as if it was a shot. He swallowed hard and handed her back the bowl. He knew he was going to throw it up later. "Now, close your eyes. Think back to the day that you and Kikyo broke up. Think about what she did to you." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, going back to that day. His grandmother came over, filling the cup with oil and pouring it over his head. "Onigumo, I need you to wait outside."

"Yes ma'am." Onigumo walked out, leaving his brother with his grandmother.

"Are you remembering?" Naraku chocked out a 'yes'. "I am going to dump your head under the water. Just relax and do what I say." He nodded softly as he felt himself submerge under the water. "Listen to the sound of my voice Naraku." Naraku was deep in thought but he heard his grandmother's voice. Naraku was back in his apartment, hearing noises come from his bedroom.

"I'm back here…again?"

Go to the bedroom Naraku. Naraku headed towards the door, the noises becoming louder as he came closer. He froze as his hand reached for the door handle. Go on Naraku.

"I don't want to. It's too painful."

Do you want to stay in love with Kikyo? Naraku shook his head. He opened the door and pushed in. Kikyo was on top of Inuyasha, riding him, his hands on her hips, lifting her up and down on his dick. The two were oblivious that he was standing there, watching the scene. What do you see before you Naraku? Kikyo is on top of Inuyasha. She does not love you. How can you still be in love with a woman who took your love for granted and fucked your previous best friend?!

"I…" Naraku continued to stare and Kikyo. He gave her the best three years of his life. Where did it go wrong for her to cheat on him? How could his previous best friend have sex with her? It just didn't add up.

"I love you…Inuyasha."

"I love you too…Kikyo…"

Naraku snapped back to reality as he heard those words. He shot his body out from under the water as he tried to catch his breath. He wiped the water away from his face, running his hands over his head. His grandmother patted his back as he chocked for air. "Naraku… are you okay?"

"She never loved me." Grandmother Rio closed her eyes and nodded her head. "You told me she was no good for me, but I didn't believe you. You knew how we would turn out."

"Yes. You never listened to me whenever I told you anything. You usually learned on your own… but this time it took a toll on you. What you thought was love for Kikyo, was just an excuse."

"What?"

"You are afraid to love again because of what she did to you. So you placed false love, blocking any type of emotion. You have dated many women, but you would never let them in because you are afraid that they will hurt you. Kikyo not only broke your heart, but she broke a part of your soul as well. Until you are able to love again… that piece of your soul will heal. You thought you were still in love with Kikyo…but in truth, you just wanted to blind yourself. You never let your feelings go. You have kept them bottle up inside for so long Naraku. It is time you let Kikyo go finally and let all the emotion you held inside you escape to the sky."

Hearing what his grandmother was saying and thinking about what he saw again in his head, he was finally able to let it go. "I gave her…the best of me… and…." With those last words, Naraku dropped his head as tears slowly slid down his face, hitting the water. Grandmother Rio grabbed her grandson and held him in an embrace as he buried his head into her shoulder, clinging onto her tightly as he cried out all of his anger, frustration and heart ache. Outside the door, Onigumo rested his head against it as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

"I had no idea how much pain you held inside you Naraku. I am sorry I was not a better big brother." Onigumo closed his eyes as he softly cried along with his brother behind the door.

Naraku felt a body next to him when he rolled over. He opened his eyes slowly and noticed Onigumo sleeping beside him. A small smile came across his face as he remembered when Onigumo would sleep with him whenever Naraku was scared. He was glad his brother was always by his side. Naraku looked over at the clock on the nightstand and read that it was five fifteen a.m. How long had he been asleep? Onigumo's eyes fluttered open when he felt Naraku move. He sat up as he rubbed the sand from his eyes.

"I see that you're up."

"Hey Onigumo," Naraku said with a smile. "How long have I've been sleep?"

"Three days."

"Three days?!" Naraku yelled.

"Shhh. Grandma and Grandpa are asleep in the other room."

"Sorry. Wait…when did Grandpa get in?"

"Two days ago. He came back from his business trip as soon as he heard about your condition. He wanted to be sure that you would be safe when you woke up."

"What do you mean?"

"He said some chant as he walked around your body. I think it was to ward off spirits… I don't know."

"Oh." Naraku rubbed his head and looked at the bed. "Three days? Why was I out for so long?"

"Whatever Grandma gave you to drink made you unconscious. She said that when your body was fully healed from all the stress you put on it, you will awake. She said it would take between three to five days." Naraku just looked at his brother and chuckled a bit. "So, how do you feel?"

"I feel better. Actually, I feel great. That cleansing really did help me. I feel reborn somehow."

"That's good." Onigumo roughed up his brother hair and laughed. Naraku laughed with him as he lay back down on the bed, placing his hands under his head.

"So how has the bar been?"

"Closed. I told everyone to take a week off."

"So you've been here?"

"I haven't left your side since you got out of the tub." Naraku felt his cheeks start to turn red. He looked at the ceiling and chuckled. "What's funny?"

"You didn't have to do that. You should have gone to work. I don't need you to protect me Onigumo."

"I feel like I have to. You are my younger brother. Even though we are twins and we were born five minutes apart, I feel as if I need to protect you now more than ever. I haven't been there like I was when we were younger."

"Onigumo…" Naraku sat up on his elbows as he looked at his brother.

"I wasn't there when they took you six years ago and…." Onigumo closed his eyes as tears slid down his cheeks. "I wasn't able to protect you from those…monsters."

"Did you forget that you got hurt protecting me? Before they could…cut the other half of my body, you attacked them. You still have the scar on your back to prove that. You managed to take care of them until we were saved and they got what they deserved—"

"But I wasn't there from the beginning," Onigumo yelled. "You got cut badly with that dagger they used; putting…something in your body. Even Great Grandma Yuki couldn't figure out what they put in you."

"Or what they placed in you either. We both got cut by the same dagger."

"But mine is small compared to what they did to you. If I could go back in time, I would wish it was me they took and not you. You didn't deserve that." Onigumo stared Naraku deep in his eyes. Naraku had no idea his brother was hurting so much for what happened. "I wasn't even able to protect you from Kikyo."

"Onigumo, its okay."

"How can you say that?"

"Listen to me Onigumo," Naraku said forcefully. "You are the best big brother anyone could ask for. You did what you could for me six years ago and you tried when I was with Kikyo. That one is my own fault, but I do not need you to keep eating yourself up for what happened. I am alive and that is all that matters."

"I'm just scared," Onigumo chocked.

"I know. I am scared as well. Who knows when it will happen, but so far, it hasn't. But when that day comes, we'll be ready for it." Onigumo looked at his brother. When did he become so strong? Naraku pulled Onigumo against him as he held him tightly. Onigumo wrapped his arms around his younger brother and chuckled. "I love you Onigumo."

"I love you too Naraku." The two went back to sleep, holding each other close, making sure that nothing would come between them.

Don't you just love brotherly love? If you guys have siblings, always keep them close. Even if you fight, they will always be there for you when you need them. Leave me tons of comments and the next one will be up soon.