A Leap of Faith (and a few hops)

*super heavy sigh* Nothing belongs to me *Tiny Tear*. I've decided that rather than trying to abduct Gimli, I'd prefer to observe him in his natural environment.

Anyway, I don't make money off of this.

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The members of the Fellowship and their postmaster Marie stood back to back in a circle in the middle of the floor. Gandalf was in the center of their circle and working on their escape plan.

The Sues, meanwhile, had made it past the outer wall and stormed the guards in such numbers that the poor men were overpowered. Now they were pounding on the doors and windows with such force that it was shaking the whole fortress to its stone foundations much in the same way the Ents had pounded at Isengard. And eventually, this had to turn out the same way.

They screeched at the ten people inside, making a noise that would have the destroyed a person's eardrums if they were outside with the terrible, perfect women. "LET US IN, LET US IN!" They chanted.

"NOT BY THE HAIR ON MY CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN!" Bellowed Gimli. Then he muttered to Aragorn. "If they start trying to slide down the chimney, I suggest we put a pot of boiling water in the fireplace."

"I *do* know an excellent recipe for Sue-and-Stu Stew." Marie said dreamily with a menacing look in her green eyes. She turned to Arwen. "Do you happen to have any carrots?" She asked sweetly.

"And mushrooms! Don't forget the mushrooms!" Pippin said to Marie. "Can't have a proper stew without mushrooms." Marie nodded with a conspiritorial smirk.

Arwen chuckled. "I'm afraid you will have to put off your cannibalistic urges until later, my dear friends." She glanced at the weary wizard behind her. "It seems that Gandalf has successfully managed to construct a portal to an AC."

"AC?" Asked Marie. "Why would he want to put us all in a giant Air Conditioner?"

This earned her a stare from all of those around her. She shrugged. Gandalf stifled a smile. "Not an AC as in an Air Conditioner, Marie. An AC as in an Alternate Canon." He explained patiently.

"That makes a whole lot more sense." She replied. "It would've been really cramped in an Air Conditioner anyway."

Gandalf's eyes twinkled as he stepped aside to reveal a glowing, revolving, octagonal hole in the ground. It swirled with purple and brown and a strange jingle was issueing from it.

*Dah-duh-dah-dah, Dah-duh-dah-dah
Dah-Duh-dah-dah-dah-dah
Dah-duh-dah-dah, Dah-duh-dah-dah
Dah-duh-dah-dah-dah-dah*

"Hmmm.."Aragorn bent over it. "Any idea where it leads?"

Gandalf shook his head. "No, I'm afraid." He brightened. "But that's a really catchy tune and nothing bad ever happens in a place where there are really catchy tunes!"

Aragorn stepped in front of the wizard. "Still, I believe I should go first...just in case." So he walked back a few steps and then, with a running start, hopped into the portal. The swirling octagon swallowed him up like a kid eating ice cream.

One by one, they followed him in until only Gimli and Marie were left. Marie regarded the portal warily, but was persuaded to go when she heard the wood of the door behind them begin to splinter under the force of the Sues attack. So she pinched her nose and plunged in. "Geronimo!" She yelled as the portal gulped her down.

Gimli glared at the doors and glanced between the portal and the Sues. He was tempted to stand and fight to the end. Sorely tempted. But, he gazed at the swirly colors. "I can't abandon the lass." He said to himself as he stepped into it.
-

AN3

*Hint

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
The amazing chocolatier,
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka...