I awoke groggy and feeling unfamiliar. The room was damp, the fire out. Memories faded in and out, but what was important remained. Her soft skin, the dim light, undeniable appetence. The thoughts made me sneer. Is it really so easy to fall for my own mind tricks? This girl was a prod for my regrets and desires, not the one I truly cared for. Getting carried away was too tempting.
It wasn't a surprise she was gone now. What was a surprise was the towel she lingered in yesterday was still beside me. The idea of her lounged elsewhere without a garment was caught in my mind. More of her games. Either she was up to something unpleasant or waiting for me to find her. I wasn't in any mood to wander my estate in my own condition, so she may have to wait.
Clothing myself, I took my time. My hands were fumbling, they were cold. This body felt weak and unfamiliar since that day. It was pathetic.
Burning. Something smelled of burning. Any thoughts I was having were pushed away by the wave of smell coming from beyond this room. I followed it, unusually attentive. Towards the back of my east wing was the kitchen, and the smell was strongest from there.
Sakae, at the stove, was billowed in light smoke and tossing the blackened contents of a pan around.
"Mm, made it for breakfast?" She spoke, not turning to even look his way. Her motions continued.
"What are you wearing." I could feel my jaw clench and tone thicken. A hot feeling was boiling my chest.
She seemed to giggle. A lift in her shoulders. "Just something I found early this morning, do you mind it?" Her tone was playful, and again she didn't turn to face me.
"Take it off," I spoke lowly keeping contained. I don't know how long I could keep.
She stopped moving. Her hair tossed as her head turned to face me. Confusion lit the familiar face, "Why?"
"Take it OFF!" I bellowed, raising my head to look at her now. It startled her, I could see it, but the burning in my chest wasn't ceasing. Seeing her in the white flowing gown laced with black made me sick. The way my harem dressed, the way Gumi dressed…
Sakae blew out the fire stove and placed the pan away from it. Silently and swiftly she approached me, only slowing down slightly while she passed me. Neither I nor her glanced towards each other in passing. I didn't want to see her eyes.
In time, she returned. The small brunette female now adorn in my own spare clothes. The white pants and dark long-sleeved top looked silly on her. They were overly big, and hardly complimented her familiar curves. I didn't speak still, caught up in my own grief. Still at the thought of my childhood love send me feeling like this. I'll never be free.
Sakae brought the pan contents to the table in the far room. I followed, slowly, finding she'd set the table for a meal. "If you'll sit…" she looked at me, and motioned slightly to the food. Hesitantly, I sat.
Watching her begin to eat, I noticed something slightly wrong. Her face twisted unpleasantly. Had my demand for her to change stricken a worse note than I thought? I put off the idea and took a bit of my own. No. Her face was certainly not his fault. The food was a mess of char and unidentifiable ingredients. It singed my tongue with it's awful feel. I put my fork down. I couldn't finish something like this.
"Don't waste it, that's all that was left of your supplies," Sakae spoke, continuing to eat her own.
I scowled at the plate. Trying to eat more of it wasn't an easy venture. I forced it down and hated each moment. Sakae was done much earlier than me, and stood with her plate before I was done. She came swiftly and took the plate from under my fork. I turned to her.
"It's fine," were her only words before disappearing back into the kitchen. Her mood was obvious, hurt and frustrated. They mirrored my own.
Following her to the kitchen, she was at the sink cleaning off our dishes. I'd meant to keep my distance, but somehow ended up against her. Stood too closely behind her, my hands slid around her waist and kept gently. Our bodies fit perfectly, both slender shapes together. I felt her wet hands touch the tops of my own very timidly. On the back of her exposed neck, I pressed my lips for a moment. I could feel her relax in my hold. Her skin was so warm, I could have let myself place more gentle kisses upon her… But I pulled away.
I expected her to turn towards me, I expected her to grab hold of me tighter, but neither proved real as she broke away entirely and hurried towards the door. She stopped in the doorway, only sparing me a sorry glance. I kept my face as stern as it usually was.
"I can't stay any longer. I'm sorry."
Her footsteps followed all the way to the door, and it's large echo from shutting made me wince.
Again, she'd come and gone. Again, she had come to haunt me with her eyes like Gumi's and gentleness that wore me. I gripped my fist. I'm still waiting to wonder if that was actually the last time I would see her.
Author Notes|| O hey, 4 years later and I'm back at this for some reason. A bit of nostalgia after rediscovering the song. This isn't anything crazy, just a little drabble between the characters for now. If people are still interested I might continue? Thanks for reading~ And please leave a review if you can!