"And... where is this, exactly?"
"Your office, sir." the boy smiled. Gandalf nodded slowly.
"Right. Yes. This is all coming back to me now."
"Excellent, sir. Professor, do you need anything?" the boy asked. Hmm- maybe Gandalf was wrong about him. He seemed like a perfectly lovely child.
"A mug of water would be nice, dear boy."
"Water? But sir- surely an esteemed wizard like yourself has a more exotic taste than plain water!" the boy announced. Gandalf seemed a little shocked, but decided to go along with it.
"Right... then... get me anything you'd like, boy. I trust you."
Gandalf could've sworn he saw the red-headed boy raise his eyebrows in disbelief. I only hope that's not a mistake, thought Gandalf.
The boy walked off into the left corner, furthest from Gandalf, presumably to fetch a drink. Gandalf relaxed slightly. He let his eyes wander around the room. It was... well, roomy, and very spacious. It wasn't furnished much, which Gandalf thought was odd for an office. He rather wished he could sit down- and just like that, a chair appeared in front of him. Relieved and slightly curious, he sat down.
The walls of this room were all mirrors- and they were playing tricks on Gandalf's eyes. In fact he was getting a headache swiveling his neck around to try and take in the whole room, only to find himself staring at his reflection yet again. He was quite disoriented.
"Sir! You found your way!" The red-headed boy entered from the right corner next to Gandalf, striding confidently into the room.
"What do you mean? You led me here!"
"I'm sorry Professor, but I can't say I did."
"But you did! And just now you went to get me a drink!"
"A drink? Sir, why didn't you ask? I'll go fetch you one!" And with that, the boy left into a door opposite Gandalf. Gandalf was quite confused.
"Here you go sir! Premium firewhisky, courtesy of Madam Rosmerta herself!" Gandalf spun around in surprise. Here was the red headed boy, entering through another door entirely! Maybe taking a sip of this firewhisky would settle his mind.
Gandalf was a wise man, and he was often right, but in this instance, he was more wrong than he had ever been. The firewhisky burned inside him, making him cough and sputter. His eyes watered. He looked up at the devious child who had brought them this. His head was swimming, and the boy's red hair was only making it worse.
"Are you ok, sir?" The boy sounded sincere, but his cheeky smile shone through.
"What... what is this drink?"
"Firewhisky, sir. It's your usual!" The red-headed boy smiled. Gandalf's vision spun.
"Oh- I... I... I need to sit down..."
"Are you... are you ok?" Was... was the young man smiling? This was hardly the time for a student to be smiling- maybe Dumbledore was right. This child did seem to be messing with him somehow. No- of course he wasn't. He was not going to lose this bet. This young man probably wasn't smiling- Gandalf's vision was just altered. Come to think of it, the spinning had seemed to stop. Ah- that was better.
"Everything better sir?" A voice came from the back of the room, behind Gandalf. It was the same red-headed boy! But wasn't he standing in front of him? Gandalf spun around, and the boy was still there. How was this possible? He wasn't accustomed to this type of magic- what was in this firewhisky? He was seeing double!
"There... there are two of you!"
The boys walked towards him. "No there aren't- is everything ok?"
"Oh dear... I should have just stuck to the Company! The dwarves aren't that bad- and now I'm stuck seeing double! Why, all the Orcs of Mordor would be less confronting than this confounded firewhisky!"
And then, something odd happened. The double-vision-boys turned towards eachother.
"What did you do? You've turned him mad! He's speaking gibberish!" One yelled.
"It's not my fault- you started it!" The other responded, and shoved his double roughly.
"No- you did!"
"Shut up, Fred!" One double ran a hand through his bright red hair. Gandalf's vision was clearing. He could now clearly see that these two young men were not visions- twins, perhaps?
"Look what we've gone and done. How is mum going to react when she hears we've turned Albus Dumbledore mad?"
"Don't worry boys- you haven't." Gandalf stood up straight. "There are two of you, aren't there? Twins, I assume?"
"Yes sir." Both boys looked down at their feet sheepishly. "We're sorry- we didn't expect it to go this far. We thought you'd recognise us!"
"I have a confession, boys- I won't get you in trouble if you swear not to tell anyone." Gandalf sighed- he had to tell someone.
"A secret? To tell us? Well- ok then, sir." The twins exchanged worried glances.
"I'm not really Dumbledore." Gandalf began. "My name is Gandalf the Grey, and I come from Middle Earth."
"Gandalf! Gandalf! Might I have a word?" Dumbledore pretended that he couldn't hear the kingly-looking dwarf calling his name.
"Gandalf!" The dwarf tugged on his arm. Dumbledore sighed.
"Yes?"
"Might I ask where you're leading us?" Dumbledore froze.
"Where... where I'm leading you?"
"Yes- you do know where you're going, don't you?" Thorin's voice was gripped with concern.
"Of course I do. Do you dare doubt Gandalf the Grey?"
"I apologise." Thorin seemed to appear less doubtful. "So- where are we going?"
Dumbledore looked up. The horizon was jagged with mountains. "Over the mountains."
"Of course we're going over the mountains!" Thorin snapped. "But are we going via Rivendell or not?"
"What would you prefer?" Dumbledore asked compliantly. Apparently, this was a mistake.
"WHAT? YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU HAVEN'T DECIDED ON A ROUTE?"
Dumbledore stuttered in confusion. Thorin glared at him. Luckily, at that moment, Fili stepped in.
"What Gandalf means to say is that the route is open to changes in your favour. Where would you like to go, Uncle?"
"Where the wizard will take us!" Thorin growled. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.
"I will take you where I see fit. You should know better than to question Gandalf the Grey, Thorin Oakenshield." Dumbledore said vaquely.
"I apologise, Gandalf, but I don't see why you can't tell me where you are leading us." Thorin said softly, the harsh tone almost gone from his voice.
"If you do not approve of my methods, then perhaps you should lead the company."
"Aye. I think that would be wise." Thorin shot an annoyed side glance at Dumbledore, and stalked off in moodiness.
"Nice going." Kili walked over and joined Dumbledore and his brother.
"You don't have to be sarcastic, Kee." Fili said.
"I'm not being sarcastic. That was actually nicely done. Gandalf is ridiculously vague most of the time." Kili observed.
"That's... actually a good point." Fili said in surprise. "I.. didn't expect that, Kili. Good job."
Kili looked slightly offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hey now- let's not fight. And yes, I know Gandalf's quite vague- I know him quite well."
"What? How?" Fili said in confusion.
"We... catch up for coffee quite regularly."
"What's coffee?" Kili asked innocently.
"It's... water, boiled with coffee beans. It's quite nice, actually."
"You drink bean water?" Both brothers made gagging faces.
"It's nice!"
"No way."
"Here- I'll show you." Looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching, Dumbledore pulled out his wand and, muttering spells under his breath, brewed a cup of coffee in his mug. "Try some."
Fili scowled at Dumbledore, and tentatively put the cup to his lips. "Ouch- it's hot."
"Well... yes." Dumbledore shrugged. "Do you like it?"
"It's so bitter... yeuch." Fili shivered.
"Give me some!" Kili reached over and took the mug from his brother. He took a long sip.
"Disgusting! What do you and Gandalf like about this?"
"It gives you a shot of energy. The feeling is... kind of nice." Dumbledore watched warily as Kili took another big gulp.
"Well, we think it's disgusting, don't we Kee. Kee?" Fili looked over at his brother in shock. Kili had finished the coffee. His pupils widened, and he seemed to be shaking slightly.
"Kee?"
"Good coffee. Coffee is good. We like coffee. More coffee." Kili spoke rapidly and turned to Dumbledore expectantly.
"That's enough caffeine for you, then."
"What've you done to him? He's gone mad!" Fili looked worriedly at Kili, who looked happily back.
"Fili is sad. That's bad. Have some coffee. Fili needs coffee. Coffee is good."
"Coffee's disgusting." Fili said with horror. Kili shot his brother a look of ultimate betrayal.
"Stop arguing you two- Thorin's coming over!" Gandalf elbowed the two of them. Fili immediately turned to face his uncle, and put on a calm facade. Kili spun in a circle to face Thorin, and gave him a hearty handshake.
"Hello. I like you. Uncle, let's run."
"What?" Thorin was shocked to say the least.
"Let's do some running. I'll race you. I bet I'm faster. I like running." Kili said, the words tumbling out of his mouth faster then Thorin could understand.
"Wait- what?"
"I said, let's... run..." Kili stopped abruptly, and slowly, Dumbledore saw the energy seep from his eyes. "Woah... what happened?"
"I have absolutely no idea, and I recommend you go sit down. You seem a bit... off." Thorin ushered his nephew over to a log where he could sit. He then returned to Dumbledore and Fili. "What is wrong with him?"
"I have no idea." Fili said, and then scampered off hurriedly to attend to the horses. Thorin looked skeptically up at Dumbledore, who shrugged apologetically.
Thorin walked away, his frustration at being confused evident.
Note to self- Dumbledore thought, dwarves do not handle caffeine well.