Yes, I know. I'm sorry, but it probably won't be any faster in the future. I start school again in January so my time will be scarce. I'll do my best though. Just a warning, this chapter was only loosely beta'ed so there's probably a few mistakes.
Hints of Hope
The man glanced around, fear and paranoia filling his eyes. He used the high, metal walls surrounding the doorway as cover while he plotted out his route across the compound. After a moment, he carefully repositioned the small bundle in his arms and stepped down the short ramp leading outside.
There were twenty yards between him and his goal. He moved quickly, constantly scanning about for something. It was as if he expected someone or thing to suddenly appear and attack him.
Beyond the barrier he was hurrying toward, there was darkness. A single, large structure rose before it, a deep red placard with foreign writing and a number eight painted on its side. There was something terribly foreboding about it.
He surged ahead and paused only for a fraction of a second to cast a fleeting look behind him before ducking into small service room within the wall that encircled the area. Inside there was an extremely narrow tunnel going straight down and a rusty ladder to descend on. There was no way of telling how far down it went.
The man glanced down at his burden, worrying his lip. His eyes wandered to the hole for a moment before he returned them to the faintly shifting item he held. The barest trace of a smile tugged at his mouth as he began preparing to go down the shaft.
"Don't worry, little angel. You'll be free soon. You won't become another him."
Riku turned slightly, snuggling further into Cloud's warm body. The lingering bits of the dream hovered in his mind as he slowly awoke. While the vision had been intense and the man in it was clearly afraid, it had given Riku an oddly peaceful feeling.
Cloud sleepily pulled the younger man closer to him. It was their second full day on the Islands and they had spent the entirety of the first in bed. Riku knew that the blond would be more than happy to make today a repeat of yesterday but he really wanted to spend some time outside the resort. Maybe they could wander the boardwalk for a bit.
Grinning, Riku traced a finger down the center of Cloud's chest. "Morning, Sleepy."
Cloud shifted, chest muscles reacting to the light touch. He smiled faintly but did not open his eyes. "You're going to make me get out of bed today, aren't you?"
"Maybe."
"Hmm…" The smile became a smirk. "You might be able to convince me."
Chuckling, Riku moved his body to half-lay atop Cloud's. He casually ran his finger up his lover's arm and shoulder, pausing at his neck. "And just how might I do that?"
In a deft movement, Cloud flipped Riku on his back onto the mattress. He switched their positions, now he leaned over the younger man and grinned. He dropped in for a kiss and Riku indulged him for a minute before breaking it off and batting at Cloud's arm.
"Come on," he prompted, ignoring the blond's noise of protest. "I want to go out."
"But we're on vacation…" Cloud protested, attempting to pull Riku close again. He ran a hand up the teen's thigh.
In a flare of annoyance, the silver-haired male shoved harshly at him. Once Cloud was clear of his body, he removed himself from the bed and stalked away. "I'm more than your sex toy, Cloud."
He crossed the room to his bags to find some clothes. He felt Cloud's stare but refused to look back at him. Why was he even with the other man? Cloud was unable to deal with reality until forced to, he completely depended on everyone around him to accomplish anything, he was weak-willed…
No more than a Puppet waiting for someone to control his strings.
Riku froze in place. His sudden irritation with Cloud disappeared and he found himself shaking. He stood unsteadily, clutching a pair of pants in one hand. He still did not look at Cloud but now it was for a completely different reason.
In a quiet voice, he said, "I'm sorry."
He heard Cloud shift on the bed, likely sitting up. It did not sound like he was moving to stand up. After a long moment, the other spoke softly. "What's going on with you, Riku?"
Sighing heavily, Riku turned his head to the side. His lengthy bangs fell to conceal a majority of his face but the side of his mouth could be seen. "I don't know."
There was another oppressive silence. Riku knew Cloud wanted to say something, to do something but he held back. Whether this was because he did not know what he should or he was afraid of Riku's reaction was uncertain. At the moment, the teen was not sure that he cared.
"I'm going to take a shower," he announced and headed toward the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and tossed his change of clothes on the counter. Catching his reflection in the mirror, he stared at it for a brief moment before an intense anger rose up inside him.
He fought back the urge to destroy something and jerked his sight away from the mirror. Body tense and mind in turmoil, he went to the shower stall and set the water on the hottest setting. He gave it a minute and when steam began pouring out, he got in.
He let the scalding water run over his skin for a long time, hoping the pain of it was enough to dull the ache that was growing inside him.
--0—0—
When he finally left the shower, he felt a great deal calmer. He dried off and wrapped the oversized towel around his waist. Leaving the fresh clothes he had brought in behind, he entered the large room and immediately looked around.
Cloud was gone.
Closing his eyes, he breathed out slowly. He was not surprised that the blond had taken off but he was disappointed. He was uncertain, however, as to which of them he felt it more toward. He needed to get his emotions back in check but Cloud needed to learn to stay and face things.
He turned his head as he felt his lover's presence outside the hotel room door. Not even a moment later, it opened and the older man stepped in. He gave Riku a small smile as he crossed the room toward him.
Without saying a word, Riku quickly met him halfway and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. He buried his face into the space between his arm the side of Cloud's face. As his lover slipped his own arms around the younger one's waist, Riku muttered, "I'm sorry."
"I know you are," Cloud stated quietly, his right hand rubbing lightly along Riku's lower back. "We just need to figure out what's going on with you. I thought it was just stress but…"
Riku breathed out slowly. "I still think it is. We've only been here a day. Just give it a little more time, okay?"
He felt Cloud nod and was relieved by it. He really did not want to get into a serious discussion right now. What he needed was to get out around other people and keep his mind distracted for awhile. He noticed some time ago that he did better when his mind was occupied.
"Sora called while you were in the shower," said Cloud, not at all loosening his hold on Riku. "The signal's bad I here which is why I was in the hall."
"You don't have to explain."
"I know. Anyway, he said that his mother is insisting on us coming over for dinner tonight."
That… sounded really nice. Sora's house had always been his weekend home and his mom a second mother. While Riku's own parents had been good and he cared about them very much, they had worked a lot and there was not a strong connection between them. After his mother died, his father was never the same and Sora's home had become a kind of refuge for Riku.
"Okay," Riku easily agreed.
"If you're up to it, I thought we should go do some shopping on the boardwalk," Cloud suggested mildly. "Yuffie will throw a fit if we don't bring her something."
Riku did not at all like the almost timid way his lover said this but was unwilling to say so at the moment. He didn't want to potentially start another argument. He only nodded against Cloud's shoulder and attempted to move away so he could get dressed. When Cloud did not release him, he lifted his head and smirked. "I have to get dressed."
"I know."
Laughing lowly, he nipped at Cloud's ear. "You have to let me go to do that."
With a loud sigh of resignation, the blond loosened his hold and Riku pulled reluctantly from his embrace. He gave his older lover a soft smile then headed for the bathroom and his clothes. As he began to remove his towel, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
He studied his reflection a moment, leaning slightly forward. He looked less tired, the shadows around his eyes faded now. His coloring seemed better and some of the tension that he knew had been visible was gone. It gave him hope that the decreasing of the physical signs of his distress was a sign his emotional ones would soon leave as well.
Quickly dressing, he brushed out his hair and returned to the main room. Cloud had gone over to sit on the loveseat across the way and he smiled at Riku as he emerged. Returning the expression, Riku held out his hand, pulling the other up when he took it.
He gave Cloud a lingering kiss before moving toward the door with Cloud in tow. "When's the next ferry?"
"Fifteen minutes," replied the blond. They entered the hallway, the room door falling shut loudly behind them.
"Better hurry up then."
--0—0—
The ferry ride to the main island was completely uneventful. They hung around the back of the mid-sized vessel, standing close together and watching the wake created as they cut through the water. Something about the chaotic disruption settled and calmed Riku completely.
Shortly after boarding, Riku had called Sora to see if he wanted to meet up with them. Sora had said he had some things he had to do for Seiya but he'd try to meet up with them for lunch. That was fine by Riku because it gave him a couple of hours to wander alone with Cloud.
They left the ferry hand-in-hand, ignoring any of the looks they received as they walked down the dock. To the right lay the wharf and the left led to the boardwalk and the main shopping area of the Islands. As the couple turned left, Riku commented that there was a small stand on the wharf that had the best fried fish.
"We should go there for lunch then," Cloud stated casually. They were passing the first shop of the row, a display of bath and skin products created from sea-salts and minerals catching his eye.
"Sure, if Sora's up for it," Riku agreed. He noticed Cloud looking over the stand and nudged him. Subtly moving his head, he guided the blond away and whispered. "They'll rip you off. There's a better stand at the other end with a better selection. It's where I got Leon's birthday present."
"He really liked that set. We should get him more of that stuff."
The silver-haired one nodded. They continued on, pausing at a shell art display and then the wind chime stand. The boardwalk was definitely the touristy area, designed for the visitors from the other, smaller islands, and anytime they found something that they felt would make a good gift, Riku mentally noted it. Most of the stuff either he or Sora could find further inland for a lot cheaper.
They spent an hour strolling along the shops, stopping at certain ones and occasionally laughing at the ridiculousness of some of the things for sale. Riku never let go of Cloud's hand, keeping their fingers laced tightly together. He felt better than he had in weeks.
Near the end of the boardwalk, Sora called and said that he had an hour free. Riku told him to meet them at the wharf entrance and hung up. He gave Cloud a light smile as they turned around to head back in that direction.
Then he felt something brush his cheek.
He paused, casting his eyes about even though he knew he would not see anything. He was uncertain what it was exactly that had touched him but it was too concentrated to simply be the wind. Actually, while it felt like a physical contact he was somehow completely aware that it wasn't. It was as if his mind was playing a trick on him.
"Riku?"
The teen squeezed Cloud's hand and smiled again. "I'm fine, thought I felt something but it was nothing."
Cloud did not look convinced but he raised their joined hands and kissed Riku's knuckles. Riku then took over and pressed his lips to Cloud's knuckles. This was enough to make the moment pass and they continued on their way.
Upon reaching the transition area between boardwalk and wharf, Riku glanced around for his spiky-haired best friend. Though Sora wasn't very tall, that gravity defying hair of his always stood out. Even if that did not immediately identify him, Riku had a strange sixth-sense when it came to Sora.
He turned toward the bench next to the far piling and was surprised to see not only Sora but Kairi also. His two best friends sat beside one another, quietly talking. Kairi lightly swung her feet and gently bit her lower lip as she always did when slightly worried about something. Sora was sitting in his thinking position.
Riku knew they were talking about him.
Sora abruptly looked up and immediately smiled at the couple. He leapt to his feet, waving happily, which got Kairi's attention and she also smiled brightly and stood up. The two of them waited for Riku and Cloud to approach them.
"Hey, guys," the spiky-brunet greeted. "So I assume we're going to Walt's?"
"If you're up for it," Riku replied, glancing at Kairi. He was not sure why the girl was here or why he was irritated by her presence. He should have simply assumed Sora would have a tag-a-long and Kairi was their mutual best friend. "Hi, Kairi."
"Hi." She placed both her hands behind her and looked at him a bit shyly. "Sorry to just suddenly show up. Sora was on his way here when I called and I wanted to see you two also so I kinda invited myself."
"Its fine," Riku spoke easily, forcing away the unreasonable annoyance that he was feeling. "I half-expected it."
Sora laughed loudly. "Well we are the Three Amigos. That's never gonna change no matter where we live."
The older teen nodded. His mood had settled again and he squeezed Cloud's hand. "Come on, I'm getting hungry."
--0—0—
Lunch went smoothly, as did the rest of the afternoon. Cloud did not seem very fond of the fried fish but he nearly inhaled the potatoes that came with it. They spent a half-hour leaning at the rail opposite the stand, eating a chatting about nothing of importance.
Sora had to leave as soon as he finished but Kairi remained with Cloud and Riku. She offered to leave them but Riku asked her to stay, deciding that he really wanted someone else around…someone he knew would maintain a steady conversation. As much as he loved Cloud, the man was not much of a talker.
The three walked back down the boardwalk, Riku pointing out the various things that he and Cloud wanted to pick up to take home. Kairi knew exactly where to find most of it and promised to purchase the items for them that evening and they could pick them up on the way back from Sora's. When Cloud asked why she was not going to be at dinner also, she only grinned and said she had other plans.
Riku rolled his eyes, understanding what Kairi meant by that. Obviously, this dinner was being treated as a 'meeting the child's significant other' type thing. He had expected that and glancing at Cloud, he saw the man's jaw tighten slightly. Clearly he realized this also.
He felt eyes on him and flicked his own toward Kairi. She was studying him carefully and he immediately wanted to tell her to stop. It was getting really old having everyone looking at him like he was…
Different. You've always been different, haven't you?
Now Cloud was also looking over Riku. The teen had no idea what was bringing all of this on this time. The blond reached over and touched Riku's cheek with the back of his hand. "Are you all right?"
In annoyance, Riku angled his face away. "Why? Am I acting weird again?"
"No," his lover countered softly. "But you're really pale and sweating more than you should be for someone who's a native here."
"Why don't we take Cloud to the history museum?" Kairi suggested. "It'll be cooler in there and get us out of the sun for a bit."
The silver-haired teen brought his own hand up his forehead and felt the dampness. He frowned, wondering why he was sweating. He did not feel warm or in anyway physically ill… Was he getting heat stroke? He had not been away from his home for that long.
This isn't and never was your home.
"Yeah, sure," Riku agreed, shoving the not-quite-whisper away.
As soon as they entered the one-story building that served as the Destiny Islands Historical Center, Riku wanted to leave. The place was packed with people, all of whom he swore were taking covert glances at him. The only good thing about being there was that the constant buzz of conversation filled his mind, keeping it occupied with filtering the various brief snippets he overheard.
He let Kairi give Cloud the tour, simply keeping quiet and holding onto the other man's hand. He did not pretend to not see the confused and all too often disgusted looks thrown at them. The Islands had always been a closed-off society; that had been one of the main reasons he had wanted to leave in the first place.
It did not matter what any of them thought. These pathetic souls were insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Actually, this entire world was. The only purpose this world ever served was to give birth to the Keyblade Master. Now that Kingdom Hearts was again safe, the Master was no longer needed. He was a useless as this world. He could die along with it-
"No!" Riku abruptly shouted. His entire body tensed as he ruthlessly shoved the thoughts away. He was horrified and disgusted by the things his mind had just suggested. It was not what he wanted, it could not possibly be.
"Riku," Cloud spoke his name softly, voice brimming with concern and more than a hint of fear. "What is it?"
Shaking his head slowly, he tightened his grip in Cloud's hand and brought his free one up and over to clutch the man's arm. "I need to get away from all these people."
Cloud did not say another word and flicked his gaze toward Kairi. The girl was watching Riku with worry but there was a peculiar, almost understanding look to her ink-colored eyes. She nodded once and as Cloud guided Riku out of the museum, she assured the few onlookers that everything was all right.
Outside, Cloud and Riku headed toward a small courtyard just beyond the front of the building. There was a bench there that was partially shaded by some squat palm trees which the younger half of the couple sat down upon. He leaned forward and dropped his head down into his upraised palms.
As soon as he was away from the mass of people, the thoughts faded but they did not go entirely away. He could still hear them, an indistinct murmur in the back of his mind. He still had no idea where any of it was coming from.
Riku was not a stranger to foreign whispers or outside beings attempting to influence his thoughts. When he had been selected by Xehanort's Heartless, it had been much like this. He began hearing his voice, guiding him, encouraging him to do whatever it took to be stronger but it was always originating from outside of him.
This voice, these thoughts, they were all inside of him.
Feeling Kairi's approach, he lifted his head. Cloud was crouched down near his left knee and trying very hard not to bombard him with questions. Riku smiled half-heartedly at him, appreciating his lover's understanding of him more than ever. Cloud knew that if he pushed, Riku would just shut down on him.
Kairi hurried over to the pair, worrying her lower lip and tucking some stray hair behind her ear. She stopped before Riku and folded her arms across her narrow waist. "Are you better now?"
Riku took a shallow breath. "Better than I was, yeah."
"Well, don't get mad but Sora had a feeling something like this might happen," the young woman's brow furrowed. "He wasn't sure what exactly, but he just had this feeling…"
Cloud glanced between them, expression tight. "Has Sora been having any unusual episodes?"
"No," she moved her head from side to side. "However, as soon as he saw Riku when you arrived, he recognized something was wrong. He wanted to stay with you guys this afternoon but he promised Seiya he'd help her. That's why I decided to tag along. I told Sora I'd let him know if anything strange happened."
"Great," muttered Riku. "Everyone knows I'm losing my mind."
"You're not losing your mind," countered Cloud sternly. Bright blue eyes fixed themselves steadily on the silvered teen. "You're just stressed and that's probably bringing up some lingering effects from the darkness."
Was that it? It certainly made sense… Riku knew that he was always going to have to deal with the darkness that remained within him. He may have broken free from the dark realm but he still retained many of the powers he had developed while a part of it.
…And if that was the case, he knew that he could get past all of this. He had defeated the darkness before and he could do it again. He was just going to have to work his way through this until he was once again in complete control. He could do that.
Feeling much more hopeful than he had been, Riku managed a genuine smile. "That must be it. I honestly didn't really consider that option."
Kairi grinned and giggled. "Well, I think all three of us know who the best cure for that probably is."
"Sora," Riku and Cloud stated together.
"Yeah," the auburn-haired girl agreed. She gave Riku a quick look over. "You look a lot better than you did before we went in the museum."
"I feel fine."
"Okay, well how about this, let's get out of here and make our way toward Sora's," Kairi suggested. "There's still two hours before you're expected but we can take the long way and hit a few of the stores to pick up some of the things you want to get."
Riku looked to Cloud, who nodded. Right now, any kind of distraction was good. He still felt those dark fragments of thought hovering just beyond his awareness and he did not want them to return.
"Sound's like a plan." He stood and Cloud straightened out. Completely not caring if anyone saw, Riku kissed Cloud and slipped his arm around the blond's waist. He then held out his other arm invitingly toward Kairi.
She darted over and he draped his arm across her shoulders. With both of them right beside him, contentment filled his heart and that hopeful feeling grew. So long as he had the people he loved, he would get through anything.
"Let's go."