Hi! Thank you so much Sasha that means a lot! Just so you know, Rachel's visions are hardly ever wrong but we can hope right? ;)
StephaniieeC - Thank you so much :) I am glad you're enjoying it!
Feel free to add opinions about where you would like the story to go! :)
Hope you all like this chapter. xxx I don't know about you guys but making a decision as big as the one Britt has to make would drive me insane. She's going to get some good advice in this chapter.
"How about we head back to yours and get our mac on?" Santana winked.
"Yea sounds good!"... What does that even mean?... It didn't matter, anything involving Santana sounds good. "We should watch a Disney movie!" I suggested.
"Sounds perfect Britt-Britt!"
As we drove home I was a little distracted. Half because I couldn't take my eyes off of Santana's flawless beauty... And half because what the fuck am I going to chose!? I kept repeating the word forever in my head. Sometimes it sounded great! Forever with Santana! But then sometimes it sounded like a curse... Forever without Addison? Fuck. Forever! Forever?
When we got back to my apartment I was now just fully distracted by Santana's lips and I understood what she meant when she said we should "get our mac on." We fell backwards on my couch and laughed briefly before getting back to our heated kissing fest.
Santana suddenly stopped furiously and jerked herself up scaring me half to death.
"FOR GODS SAKE BERRY I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING YOU PERV."
I quickly hurled myself up and sat straight as I fixed my hair.
"Sorry, sorry we legit only just got here! Calm the farm."
I realised it was Quinn's voice and turned around to see both her and Rachel stood in my open kitchen.
Oh my god what is it with this sneaking around and super speed.
"Can you like knock next time? What if I'm pooing or something and you randomly enter the bathroom?"
There was a brief pause until we all laughed. Quinn and Rachel apologised and promised to knock next time.
"So what do you's want?" Santana asked bluntly.
"We were just worried, we wanted to apologise and-" Rachel began to rant.
Santana lifter her hands up into the air. "Its fine, lets stop with all this apologising that's going on lately because its making me nauseous and lets all just relax." Santana slapped her thighs lightly with a sigh.
Quinn looked at me impressed as they walked over towards us.
"So you have tamed the wild Santana Lopez!?" She teased.
"Should we leave? Were you busy? Well yes of course you were, we will go if you want?" Rachel asked awkwardly.
No!
"No! No, stay! Santana and I were going to watch a Disney movie! Do you want to join us?" I stood up and looked at Santana for approval, she just smiled simply. "You two can have the couch and me and Santana will share the arm chair!" Santana's smile turned into a huge grin before she instantly ended up sat in the chair.
Quinn and Rachel sat down a little uncomfortably. Most likely because seconds before Santana and I were getting quite heated right in that exact spot.
"Does anyone have any requests? I pretty much have them all!" I practically yelled while standing tall in front of everyone. Being a host was fun! I hadn't done anything like this before!
"Whats your favourite?" Rachel asked enthusiastically.
"I have a few!" I stated. " I love the little mermaid! And at the moment I'm really loving Monsters Inc. and Lilo and Stitch. Me and my sister love those. I like how they aren't about princesses and stuff ya know? They're about friendship and family...Oh and have you seen Frozen? I love that! How it was about sisters! But i don't have that on dvd, I don't think thats out yet?" I started to realise i was rambling and stopped to take a breath.
Disney movies reminded me so much of Addison... I missed Addison. I definitely needed to call her soon...
"Holy shit!" Rachel gasped.
I looked at her, her face was full of emotions. There was shock, happiness, and a look of realisation.
"What? What? What did I do?" I asked.
"Nothing! Its just, this is the first ever vision I had of you. What just happened. You, talking about Disney films! I couldn't tell when it would be! But it just happened right there, right now!" Rachel explained cheerfully.
"That's so cool! How many visions have you had of me?" I asked.
"Oh I lost count years ago! Visions of you came randomly and they weren't as strong as my others, but we all looked forward to them!" Rachel smiled.
My heart warmed up hearing that.
I wonder what I'd be able to do as a vampire? Maybe they know?
"When I'm a..." Crap! "If I become a vampire, what will my powers be?"
"I have an idea!" Santana smirked.
"You do? Please tell me!" She shook her head teasingly at me. I ran over and jumped on her lap. "Baaabe! Pretty please!"
"No! I could be wrong!" Santana giggled.
"Well I bet I'd be way stronger than you!" I shrugged as though it was obvious.
Santana smugly raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Bet you wouldn't!"
"Yep, bet I would. And then I'll shove you off a freaking rooftop. I'll actually shove all three of you losers off the rooftop, see how you like it!"
"Nooo, don't do that, that was all fully Santana's idea!" Quinn laughed.
"No way Q, you were so looking forward to it more than anyone... You too Berry!" Santana defended.
"I don't care who's idea it was you're all getting thrown off the rooftop!" I said smartly.
I got up and turned the TV and DVD player on. It took me a few tries but I soon pressed the right buttons.
"Okay well, Monsters Inc. is already in, wanna watch that?"
"Yep sounds great to me!" Quinn cheerfully said.
I sat back down on Santana's lap as the movie began. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly.
The movie was going smoothly when out of nowhere Rachel instantly disappeared.
"What the Jesus, mother, hell?" I thought aloud.
The other girls just shrugged and continued to watch the movie. A short while later Rachel came back with two bags of already popped popcorn.
"Ahh the perks of being a vampire!" She said dramatically.
"Fuck me!" I frightfully yelled. I almost jumped out of my skin.
Santana laughed at me and swirled my feet off her to grab a bag from Rachel.
"You get this from the movie's?" Santana asked while taking one.
"Yep!" Rachel smiled proudly.
"I could have done that in 2 seconds!" Santana mocked.
She came back and lifted me up with such ease it was like I was a bag of air, she sat back down and gently laid me across her again.
She gave me the bag and I ate handful after handful. Santana would only grab some every now and again. She would gently place one piece in her mouth at a time and chew it politely. I on the other hand scoffed as much as I could and chewed like a beast. I would usually be embarrassed but I was still overwhelmingly hungry and I felt safe around Santana to just be me.
She looked at me and shook her head smiling.
"What? I'm hungry!" I mumbled through a full mouth of popcorn. I'm surprised she even understood me.
"I can tell. Do you want me to go get a shovel so you can pile more in?" She teased.
I made a sarcastic "you're so funny" smile while popcorn exploded from my face. She giggled lightly and pecked me on the forehead.
Santana wiped her top row of teeth with her tongue smoothly and then licked her lips. She looked away from me worryingly to look up at Quinn who was sat happily enjoying the movie.
"Q..." Quinn turned around and looked at Santana questioningly. "I gotta um... I need your help."
Quinn's face turned to realisation. "Oh! Yep sure" she hopped up and nodded at Santana.
I understood what was going on. She needed to Drink. I got off Santana's lap as she started to stand.
"I gotta go... Ya know.. but I'll be back soon." Santana said ashamedly.
I took her hand and told her it was okay before she and Quinn vanished.
I sat back down in the armchair as Rachel spoke. "So how did today go? What did you two get up to?" She asked nicely.
"We just made things up as we went a long it was amazing. We sang and we danced." I let out a small laugh remembering my awful rapping. "It was perfect!"
"That's good to hear." She paused, put her bag of popcorn to the floor slowly and then twirled some hair around her ear. "Britt just, don't say things you don't mean okay? I do believe that you and Santana will end up together somehow..." She took a deep breathe in. "Or maybe I'm... Maybe I'm mostly just hoping." She looked at me like she was studying my face, trying to read it. All she would have been able to see was a pure expression of worry. "But please don't get her hopes up with your whole "when I'm a vampire questions." Santana has been through a lot just to get to you, I don't think you understand how much mixed emotions she's feeling."
Santana's feelings mean a lot to me I might not understand but I'm trying to...
"I said if I become a vampire, and don't think you understand how I feel Rachel." I said it calmly, I wasn't angry at her, she was only looking out for her friend. "This is a lot to take in still. I'm not brushing aside Santana's feelings and I'm not saying things I don't mean. I am genuinely wanting to know what I'd be like as a vampire because I am seriously considering it. I'm not just saying it for a laugh." I explained, I meant it too.
Rachel looked at me with hope and relief.
"Good. I think you'd be a powerful vampire Britt!"
"You do? Thanks...Rachel, what's it like? You know, living forever?" I asked heavy heartedly.
She let out a big sigh. "That's a part you're not so sure of isn't it?"
I nodded and she smiled at me reassuringly.
"Well. Its something I try to never think about really. Compared to Santana I'm still a baby vampire. But I'll admit, it is very scary. We see a lot of death and we go through a lot of loss. I watched my parents die from the shadows, although they really died when I went missing years before. We've made good friends that we've had to leave behind and we've seen some horrid things. To know that there is no release from it all, that I will always be 19 forever, until the end of time... It scares me beyond belief. We see friends come and go and that never gets easier, but with myself, after my parents death I didn't have any other family to watch die, neither did Santana. But Quinn...You know about Quinn right? And Bethany?"
"I, yes, I know she had a child." I nodded and cleared my throat.
"Well Quinn built up courage to go back and see her. Years had passed so Bethany now had a family of her own, Quinn watched from a distance and she was so thrilled to see Bethany with a good life...but it killed her to know she couldn't be any part of it. What I'm trying to say is, you have your sister, you love her and you have a choice. So you really need to think things through thoroughly okay? You need to find out which life you'd be happier in. Human or Vampire? Each one you are sacrificing something."
I just stared at the floor trying to think about everything. She made it seem like being a vampire was the worst decision.
"But." Rachel added. "But being a vampire can be very rewarding. We have powers as you know. We're fast and we're really special girls! We see people fall in love all the time, we see miracles and we see life's true beauty. We appreciate it a lot more. We see new life and new inventions, new revolutions, new views on the world, we're seeing improvement in it. We have so much time to be able to do things right. I get to study my passion longer, I get to try new things! See new things! Meet new people! Everyone has their dark days right? But it makes the bright ones so much better! We make a lot of friends and we have our own family now. Santana and Quinn are my sisters and I love them more than anything. I'm so lucky to have met them! Sometimes I feel like it was our destiny to be like this! We've had some great times that I wouldn't trade for anything and those times have made up for the bad ones...There is hurt and pain, but there's also a lot of love too. Just like in a humans life. Also... Being 19 forever?...come on that's not too shabby either when ya think about it is it?"
I smiled, she got so passionate about it that it made me feel differently about everything. "Pro's and con's to everything isn't there?" I said
"Yes Britt there is, you just have to figure out which con's are worth going through."
That was something to think about.
"I love Santana, I knew from the moment I met her but I was scared to admit it... I'll admit that I haven't spent all that much time with her, but I know I could never stop loving her." I said that loud and bravely.
"Then isn't that enough?" Rachel questioned.
"I'm afraid!" I got up and sat next to Rachel on the couch. "All this is so big and scary... What if one day she realises I'm not as amazing as she thinks? What if things go wrong, what if my sister needs me? I want to be with Santana! She makes me happier than I've ever been! If she can make me this overwhelmingly happy then I cant even imagine the pain I'd feel if things didn't work...and that scares the shit out of me!"
She took my hand and squeezed it tight. "Fear can hold you back from a world of possibilities!"
She was right. A loud knock interrupted us, I looked at Rachel confused and got up to get the door.
I opened it to see Santana and Quinn.
"Santana made me knock." Quinn complained.
"Good!" I chuckled. "I don't think my heart can take any more frights. Come in!"
They came in and sat back down. I laid across Santana, she seemed to look brighter but still had a look of shame.
"Sorry about that." She whispered.
"Don't be. Its fine." I replied. "Did you put a nice memory in the persons head instead?"
"Well after Quinn took away the guys memory, I went in his mind and saw that he'd just been dumped, so I took that awful rejected feeling away and planted a feeling of hope." She said.
"That's really lovely of you Santana."
She half smiled. You think so?"
"Yea I know so! You're a lovely person." I assured.
I didn't want her to feel bad about herself. She was amazing and she deserved to feel it. Her smile became bigger and she squeezed me tightly again. It felt... Safe, like home.
The movie ended and Rachel and Quinn decided they should leave. It was late and Rachel and I had our dance course tomorrow so I didn't disagree. I was actually looking forward to it. I enjoyed school with Rachel, she was very enthusiastic. Not a very strong dancer but her encouragement and joy was admirable. Plus it was fun to hear her and Kurt argue over theatre things I didn't understand.
I said goodnight and they vanished. I jumped up and put the popcorn bags in the bin.
"I should go too..." Santana whispered.
"No don't" I begged.
"No I should. I'll give you a good night sleep." She laughed. "Give you a night of rest and tomorrow you can just dance the day away with no pressure. Just have a day to yourself." She added.
"We're not hanging tomorrow?" I sadly asked.
"No Britt Britt just have a day to breathe yea? Its just one day." Santana smiled.
"Yea I guess you're right. A lot has happened, I should probably just... breathe." I smiled lightly.
She walked forward and stroked my face. "I love you Brittany."... Then after a blink, she was gone.
I put my hand on my cheek lightly where hers was resting just seconds before.
"I love you too Santana!" I shouted loudly through my apartment, hoping that she might have heard.
I woke up the next morning determined to not think about anything apart from dancing. No vampires. I felt fresh and rejuvenated and the morning around me felt calm. Brushing my teeth I tried desperately to not think about Santana and my... Choice. But I couldn't help it. Destiny, Santana, soul mates, vampire, Addison, forever? STOP IT DON'T THINK! I hit my head with my hand and waved my fingers down the strands of my hair. Just breathe.
I had my breakfast and headed off.
I got to my course energetically to find Rachel hadn't arrived yet. Kurt said he got a text from her saying she wasn't feeling well. Did this have something to do with me? I got out my phone and texted her quickly.
Rachel are u okay? Kurt said u aren't feeling well. This doesn't have anything to do with ... U know... does it? X
I got a simple reply moments after.
Everything's fine Britt. Have a day to yourself. X
I knew it had something to do with me. Guilt swept over me as I realised Rachel didn't come today to benefit me. She didn't have to, I enjoyed her company.
Thoughts were driving me insane and I was glad that I could dance the day away as a distraction. I had to practice a lot for this course but I wasn't complaining. Dancing was like a drug to me, just like Santana...
Despite my effort of distracting myself with dance, I couldn't shut my brain off fully. While I was hectically dancing I was free, but as soon as it was someone else's turn to dance, I was instantly back to thoughts of Santana and vampires. When our instructor Mike called a break Kurt and I chatted in the corner of the studio.
"You're such a strong dancer Britt, better than everyone in here..." He lowered his volume. "Probably just as good as Mike!" He whispered.
"Thank you." I simply said. I was too distracted to return a compliment. He stared at me as he crossed his legs.
"Brittany, what's wrong. You seem distracted."
"Oh sorry yea no, yea no, yea I kind of am." I stared at my drink bottle while spinning it around in my hands.
"Care to explain?" He asked.
"Its... Complicated." I sighed.
"Boy troubles. Its boy troubles isn't it? I know a boy troubles face when I see one."
I let out a forced laugh. "No it's actually girl troubles!" And vampire troubles.
He looked at me with wide eyes like a rabbit caught in headlights. "Santana!" He simple stated.
"How did you-"
"I work with you two remember!? and the vibes I've been getting could melt concrete!" He shrugged. "Since you guys have been working together there is eye sex and chemistry flapping all over the place. Its a subtle as a sledge hammer to the face."
I didn't understand that expression. But I wasn't too bothered about what it meant. I had other things to think about.
"Yea we're... Together now but things are... Complicated."
"You've said that already!" He smiled lightly. "Can I help?"
I don't know, can you? What would you chose? Your sister or your soulmate. Human or vampire?
I bit my lip. How would I word this.
"Well, its just. I want to be with Santana. But if I chose to stay with her I have to give up... Something... Something else I love. And if I leave Santana, I won't get her back and I don't want that to happen."
He looked at me very worried and confused. "What is she making you give up?!"
"She's not making me give up anything... But I'll have to if I stay with her."
God this is messed up. He looked at me hoping I'd elaborate but that's all he was getting. He realised I wasn't going to explain more and he nodded slowly taking everything in. I liked Kurt, he didn't pry. If it was Rachel on the other hand...
"Okay well, I can see why you described it as confusing... I'm still not sure exactly what you mean but here's how I see it. If you have to give up part of yourself to be with Santana. Then that's not healthy, you should never lose who you are to be in a relationship. But if you love her, and really love her...Maybe its worth it?"
The answer came easily. Giving up my human life was well worth being with Santana forever. But giving up Addison?
"Thank you Kurt. Really, thank you that's helped a lot." I smiled at him genuinely.
When my day of dancing and sweating was up I went back to an empty, lonely apartment. It was time to ring Addison, I desperately needed to hear her voice. I needed to hear someone's voice. I couldn't be left with my own thoughts like this. Plus I needed some sisterly advice. I found her contact in my phone and rang her. It rang three times before my beautiful little sisters voice shouted through the phone.
"YO! Brittany! I miss you! What's up"
"Hey Ad, I miss you too! I just got back from my course! How are you? and mum and dad?"
"We're all great, are you coming to visit soon? Dad's getting on my bloody nerves lately and I need you to have my back!"
"Yea I'll visit soon I promise!" I'd have to if I was going to chose to be a vampire... I couldn't not see her one last time. "Why is dad annoying you?!"
"He's like a prison warden, I went on one date last week and he actually wanted to come along, what a freak! I convinced him not to though."
She was definitely a 14 year old girl. I started to laugh as she continued.
"Anyway the date was crap, we went to the movies, the film was terrible and he smelled like garbage." God I loved my sister. "Do you got a man yet sis, or a foxy woman?"
She knew I liked both boys and girls and she was more than cool with it. I've never been ashamed of my sexuality...You like who you like, simple as that so, I've never hidden it.
"Actually I do! Her name is Santana! She's wonderful." I couldn't stop myself from smiling.
"Great, I'll have to meet her!"
Being around my two favourite people, what could be better?
"You do" I said softly. "You'll like her" The thought of them getting along gave me butterflies and I finally realised what could be better... A lifetime with them both...not just one.
"Addi, if you could live forever, would you?" I tried to make it sound casual, but of course it didn't.
"Eh? What the hell? Random. Uuuum... No, no i don't think i would actually."
"Why?"
"Well do the people I love get to live forever too?"
"Lets just say that only one could. Like say you had a boyfriend that you loved beyond words, only he could live forever with you. Would you?"
"Hmmm... No. Still no."
"Really?"
"Yea, the whole joy of life is growing old with someone isn't it? Like I wanna make fun of my husband when his hip gives in and I wanna sit on a porch with grey hair beside him. Like mum and dad are gunna ya know? I wanna raise kids and see grandkids! Living forever would take all that away wouldn't it? Plus you would see generation after generation of your family die! I just wouldn't want it personally! ... Why? What would you chose?"
She was absolutely correct, she was so bloody smart. I couldn't think about all this. It was too much! I wanted that so badly with Santana, but I couldn't think about that. Not now.
"I'd chose...I dunno!" I needed to go. "Crap sorry sis I forgot I left my... " Say something Britt. "Sock..." Really Britt, sock? "At the studio I'll talk to you soon love you!"
"Your sock? What the f-"
I hung up quickly and paced around my apartment. Choosing between Santana and Addi was like asking me which eye I'd rather have taken out. None. I had to see Addison, I needed to. It was time for a trip back to Lima. I called up Santana desperately needing to talk. There was no answer at first so I rang up again straight after, she picked up after a few rings .
"Sorry Britt! I'm at work so I couldn't pick up earlier! And what the hell, I thought you were gunna have a day to yourself?!" She laughed.
"Santana we're going to Lima."
"Lima? What the f-"
And that's chapter 4. I'm not very happy with this one, I'll admit it was rather boring but I think Britt just needed advice and I didn't want to rush things. I wanted to get this chapter up quick so you wouldn't lose interest in the story. The next chapter will be better I promise, there's a lot of cute stuff between San and Britt. I've already started writing it :P Plus we will be going to Lima with them! I have big plans!
I also hope you all took something from this chapter. Don't let fear hold you back, you could miss out on a lot. And don't lose yourself in a relationship! Even though in this case I think Britt would be finding herself with Santana. :P
Thank you to everyone reading this story. xx