Title: House of Glass and Fog – Chapter 3
Word Count: Overall ~30,500 words, chapter ~5,200
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Torchwood Team
Rating: NC-17 overall, this chapter PG13
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Jack, Ianto and all related Torchwood material but I don't. Someday I will… Someday!
Ianto didn't notice the time as it ticked by until Tosh entered the interrogation room balancing a tray with one arm.
"Drew the short straw?" Ianto asked, feeling a bit sorry for the oriental woman. She probably wanted to be here with him as much as Jack and Owen did.
"No, just thought you might be a little chilled down here. Have a cup of tea," Tosh said placing the tray on the table between them. As the tray settled Ianto began to smell whiffs of his favourite apricot tea brewing, which was strange as he though he had hid the tin rather well.
"Where did you find my tea?" Ianto asked warily.
"You really aren't as sneaky as you think you are." Tosh sat down, took a cup off of the tray and placed it front of Ianto. "Drink up before it gets cold."
Ianto just stared at the cup and raised an eyebrow at the double meaning of her words. There was no way he was going to accept drinks from a Torchwood employees ever again. "Honestly Ianto, I haven't put anything in the tea! Don't be so paranoid."
"If I recall correctly not being paranoid is what got me down here in the first place." Ianto pushed the cup back towards Tosh.
"Ianto I am not Jack," Tosh stated crossly. "There are no drugs or retcon in this tea and Jack does not know I am down here. He is too busy have a brooding pow wow with Owen in his office."
Ianto deflated immediately and wrapped his hands around the cup. Ianto felt quite like a git at the moment. Tosh had been trying to do something nice for him and he threw it back in her face. "I'm sorry Tosh. I just… today has been rather fucked up hasn't it?"
"Any more messed up than a day at Torchwood normally is? Though I guess staff don't get locked in the interrogation room on a regular basis," Tosh said smiling tightly.
"And all over a stupid box…" Ianto lifted the cup up to his lips and took a small sip, watching Tosh over the rim.
"And you've got no clue what's in it?"
"None," Ianto replied with a twinge in his voice. Ianto finally let his perfect posture slip and hunched over the stainless steel table.
"But you know how to open it?" Tosh questioned, picking up on Ianto's demeanour.
"Just a guess really."
"I'll go tell Jack."
"Please don't," Ianto gasped. "I don't want him to open it yet and have every nasty thing he has thought about me over the last few hours confirmed."
"But Ianto he really hasn't said a thing, he needs to know you're willing to help us on this!" Tosh wound her hands around Ianto's.
"He won't care Tosh. You didn't see the look in his eyes when he was down here. I don't want to see him when he knows for sure that I have betrayed him for a third time." Ianto pulled his hands away from Tosh and wrapped them around his middle.
Tosh watched Ianto closely before forming a reply. "You care about him a lot don't you?" Ianto eyes crinkled at the corners. "You lo…"
Ianto cut her off harshly. "Don't Tosh, just fucking don't."
"You love him." Tosh insisted.
Ianto let out a bitter laugh. "Maybe but he doesn't give a shite about me." Tosh gasped at Ianto's blunt response.
"Please don't say that. He cares about you."
"As much as he cares about your or Owen." Ianto snorted.
"What about Gwen?" Tosh questioned softly, getting up and going around the table to crouch by Ianto.
"This conversation is over. Go tell Jack I can probably get the damn box open and ask him to send Owen down to take me to the archives. I would rather not see him until he is ready to put a bullet into my head."
"Ianto!" Tosh hissed angrily. "He will not blow your brains out! He would never do that to you or anyone on the team."
"He would to me. Tosh think about it, I have used up my three chances and I would prefer it to the alternative." Ianto shifted uncomfortable trying to move away from Tosh.
"And what is the alternative? Facing up to your own damn mistakes?" Tosh grabbed Ianto's face so he was looking at her again.
Ianto looked her dead in the eyes. "No Tosh, I've hurt him enough and I don't deserve another chance or even a full retcon, which he might do if he sees me. He will feel like shit for letting this get past him. I can't do that to him again," Ianto finished softly, squeezing his eyes shut.
Ianto took a few deep breaths before continuing. "I don't want another chance and I want him to stay pissed at me so there is no remorse or guilt when he does when he is required to by the rules of this organization. You know, he had to lie to Unit about Lisa to keep me from being locked up for the rest of my life."
"Ianto, please just help us, let us help you. Don't take the easy way out of this." Tosh pleaded.
"This isn't about taking the easy way out it is doing what is right! Don't try and help me because you won't feel this way when we open that fucking box. If you are angry at me like Jack and Owen are now it will make things easier in the long run." Ianto said pulling his face out of Tosh's fixed grip, leaving the consequences of his actions unsaid.
"You bloody bastard," Tosh said letting disappointment finally leak into her voice. "I am not giving up on you and if I am not giving up neither are you!"
"Have you ever thought I am not worth caring about?" Ianto said his voice cracking faintly finally feeling his emotions catch up with him. He had tried so hard not to give a damn when Tosh came in but the act was waning.
"We are all worth saving," Tosh shot back savagely pulling Ianto into a tight hug.
Ianto pulled out of Tosh's hug slowly and watched the woman's face closely. "Please just don't set yourself up for me to break your unwavering faith." Ianto challenged, reeling himself in again. He couldn't take comfort in her anymore; it would only make him falter in his own resolve.
"Ianto…" The crackling of the intercom and Jack's voice cut off Tosh's reply.
"Toshiko Sato you are not authorized to be down there! Get you ass upstairs now."
Tosh startled a little but did not move away from Ianto. "I'll be up in a few minutes."
"When I say now I don't mean in a few minutes, move it!"
"You better go," Ianto said softly, upset that he had gotten Tosh in trouble.
"Alright but think about what I said." Tosh squeezed Ianto's arms firmly before releasing her grip and collecting the service tray.
Ianto gave Tosh a strange look that she couldn't make heads or tails of. She wasn't sure if it meant to say yes, no, or even maybe. "Someone will be down soon," Tosh tried.
"Thank you and I'm sorry." Ianto replied distantly hoping Tosh understood what he meant.
She had. "Don't say sorry yet." Tosh let everything else be; knowing Jack was still watching them and left the room.
Tosh took the stairs quickly and dumped her tray off beside Owen's arcade games before venturing into Jack's office.
When Tosh arrived in Jack's office he and Owen had already gotten into the classic 'we're about to dress you down' stance but she really did not care. She knew what she had done was right and the other two men could not convince her otherwise. They had no real proof that Ianto had done anything more than keep an unauthorized box in the archives.
"Tosh would you care to explain when you were down there with Ianto, unauthorized serving him tea like he was the bloody Queen of England?" Jack growled, stalking around Tosh as he spoke.
"Jack, he was cold and miserable down there and you left him to rot." Tosh shot back just as forcefully. "I'm sorry for trying to be a decent human being!"
"Tosh this isn't about being a good person! It's about protecting the team and you of all people should know what he is cable of!" Owen said finally deciding to contribute to the conversation instead of standing beside Jack trying to look stern.
"You two don't care about him at all do you?" Tosh said sadly, finally realizing why Jack brought Gwen into Torchwood. Without her the other two men treated Ianto just as callously as any civilian picked up off of the street. Tosh wanted to tell Jack how confused and upset Ianto seemed but she also didn't want Jack to be able to take advantage of his vulnerability. Ianto's trust was a hard thing to gain and Tosh would not give it up so easily.
"Tosh we care and that is why he hasn't already been forcefully interrogated." Owen replied sounding almost contrite. Tosh didn't respond and instead brushed past Jack and Owen to sit on the ageing couch.
"Did he at least tell you something helpful while you were down there?" Jack asked, moving to sit behind his desk as Owen took up another chair.
Tosh sighed feeling hopelessness claw at her. "Ianto told me he thinks that he can open the box but he needs Owen to take him down to the archives."
"I'll take him down if he really needs to go." Jack retorted, wanted to take Ianto himself. Letting Ianto pick and choose who he was going to interact with would give him more power over the situation than Jack wanted to give up. Ianto wasn't calling the shots and Jack wanted to make that perfectly clear.
"I think it would be better if Owen went," Tosh said timidly, linking her fingers together.
"I am going, end of this discussion." Jack finished. "Did he say he needed anything else besides to go down to the archives?" Tosh shook her head in response.
"I am going down then. Owen, bring the container up to the conference room. I will meet you both there when Ianto and I are done. Tosh I need you to pull the exact section and row number where Owen found the container by the time I get back up here." With his orders confirmed Jack abruptly left the room leaving Tosh and Owen alone.
"Well that went smashingly well didn't it?" Owen grumped. Tosh gave Owen a sour look and went back to starting at the loose threads in the couch. "Why are you being such a witch about this?"
"Let me alone Owen. You didn't even give Ianto a chance to cooperate before drugging him and tossing him into the interrogation room. If Gwen were here it wouldn't have happened. When I try to do the exact same thing as her, I get told Ianto was lucky you weren't beating information out of him. You realize that sounds like something T1 would do. It isn't us Owen! When did we become so heartless?"
Owen flopped down next to Tosh and uncharacteristically wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "The moment Gwen Cooper walked out the door… and it's something WE have to fix.
TORCHWOOD
Scarily 15 minutes after Tosh left, leaving Ianto with dark thoughts, Jack banged through the metal doors and sat down once again.
"So you figured out how to get the container open?" Jack asked, not even bothering to dither about the issue.
"Yes." Ianto replied not giving anything else. He was not happy to see Jack again.
"And you need to go down to the archives for what?" Jack questioned again.
Ianto turned his head away refusing to look at Jack. "Knowing myself I probably left a clue to the code or the code close to where you found the container. I doubt I was dumb enough to leave it in a place I could accidentally stumble across it."
"Fine let's go."
"Owen can't take me?" Ianto asked in a blunt voice that was getting on Jack's nerves.
"No, Owen cannot take you. You and I will take this little trip together, despite your best efforts not to." Jack tried to catch Ianto's eyes again with little success. "Do you have a problem with that?" Jack's tone left no room for argument.
"No Sir."
"And you will behave because I am not in the mood to cuff you and drag you around the Hub like some stray dog." Jack continued.
"Yes Sir." Jack gave a curt nod in reply and began to leave the room only giving Ianto a moment to push himself from his chair and follow.
"Do you have the section and row you found the container in?" Ianto asked as he and Jack trudged up the stairs.
Jack stopped dead half way up the stairs and turned to face Ianto. "Part of behaving is keeping your mouth shut and answering when spoken to. I may not be yelling at you right now but I'm still angry." And disappointed Jack left unsaid but Ianto could clearly read it from his expression.
Ianto wasn't sure how to reply to Jack's comments or how to feel. Inherently he knew he should feel contrite. He was the one that had hurt the other man but he also didn't like being treated like a daft primary student.
"I was just trying to make things easier." Ianto said deciding neutrality was the best course of action. Sounding too remorseful would let Jack continue to bully him and sounding too resentful would be asking for more trouble than it was worth. Jack's emotions were always all over the place when he was upset.
"Don't" Jack turned around abruptly and began walking up the stairs again. After a few more steps they were on the main level and then brushed past Tosh. Jack grabbed a slip of paper as they went by.
With Jack's pace they were at the main level of the archives in a matter of minutes. Jack shoved the slip into Ianto's hands avoiding all contact except for a rough touch of fingers.
"This is where we found the container."
Ianto skimmed the paper, feeling déjà vu tingling across his spine. "This way Sir." Ianto started to lead the way to the alien literature section. Ianto wasn't surprised in the least; it was a rarely used area that would be good for hiding items from himself and especially the team.
"Do you even know what you are looking for?" Jack grumped from a few paces behind Ianto.
"As cliché as it sounds when I see it I will know." Knowing the archives like the back of his hand he and Jack were at the section in a matter of minutes instead of the hours it had taken Owen and Jack. Ianto stopped in front of the shelf where the container had been found and took a moment to push off the uneasiness he felt. The section was giving him the creeps. Ianto had no doubt he had been up to something here.
"Get to work Ianto!" Jack snapped; sick of waiting for Ianto to move. "My patience for you is gone and the sooner you are back in the interrogation room the better."
At that moment Ianto had enough of Jack's bullying and of himself being far too penitent about the situation. Jack had always told him to call the older man on his bullshit and that was exactly what he was about to do. Ianto spun around on his heal to face Jack straight on before promptly telling him to fuck off.
"Excuse me!" Jack shot back, pushing his face a breath away from Ianto's.
"Oh I'm sorry did you not hear me. Fuck off." Ianto punctuated the words with heavy bursts of air and roughly shoved Jack out of his personal space. Jack lunged back and wrapped his fingers around Ianto's face in a tight grip.
"You do not get to tell ME to fuck off." Jack hissed pressing his fingers so tightly Ianto could feel his cheek grinding against his molars.
"I have been nothing but helpful and cooperative this whole bloody time! The least you could do is not treat me like complete shite." Ianto begin to struggle in Jack's grasp but only succeed in cutting the inside of his mouth.
"And you think that matters?" Jack lashed out. "You betrayed us Ianto! Not for the first time or the second but the third time knowingly. You lied to me again and this time were too cowardly to even remember that you had done it. So explain to me why you think you deserve any sort of decent treatment. Huh, huh!"
Ianto barked out a laugh, knowing he would regret what he was about to say later. "You want to bring up lies and half truths Captain Jack Harkness, which by the way we all know isn't you real name! You have lied to the team and I everyday since we have met. You prattle in half-truths and expect us not to notice or care but we do! We all are fucking aware of your bullshit and it hurts." Ianto finally manoeuvred his way out of Jack's grasp before continuing.
"You lie and carry secrets intentionally and sometimes at the team's expense! You fucking think I didn't know you were immortal until after Owen blew your brains out? No, Jack I knew long before even Gwen bloody Cooper. But did I say anything? No! I held you secret even when people like Tosh got hurt trying to protect you because they are loyal to you and thought they were keeping you from death. I trusted you to tell us and you didn't! You didn't even bother to tell us after Gwen found out. It may have been accidental, but she knew and you still didn't trust us enough with that tiny piece of the real Jack! You have no right to treat me like crap for keeping a secret because you do it everyday and use how we feel about you against us!"
When Ianto finished yelling Jack looked gob smacked and beneath his anger a little hurt. Jack's guard was down for only a moment before he let his rage overshadow everything. "Do not talk about what you do not understand Jones," Jack hissed dangerously.
"I don't understand because you never tell me shit all. And that's the point isn't it?" After a lingering bout of silence Ianto turned back to the shelves and starting looking again. Ianto was sick of fighting about an issue that came up far too often and never ended with any resolution. Ianto had never been quite so nasty about Jack's trust problems but the man had no right to treat Ianto the way he had.
Jack's next movement was quick and surprised Ianto enough to drop the books he had pulled from the shelf. "Jack?" Ianto questioned hesitantly, finding himself being held from behind.
"I'm not very good at this am it?" Jack sighed into Ianto's neck. Ianto knew Jack's switch had turned from pissed to remorseful. What a mess.
"What?" Ianto shifted awkwardly in Jack's grip. "Being a leader, a friend, a lover?"
"All of the above. I let my anger get in the way of being all of those to you and to the rest of the team. I should have explained what Owen found and asked you to wait in a secure room instead of drugging you and tossing you down there like rubbish." Jack felt Ianto's breathing hitch, some of the tension in the other man's shoulders lessened. Jack knew Ianto was willing to listen now; he was definitely still pissed but willing to listen. It was good enough.
"I was scared and angry at what you had done and hurt that you had tried to hide the whole thing from me. I know things aren't perfect but I thought they had gotten better since I got back."
Ianto shifted so he was facing Jack. "Me too… I could say I was sorry but it won't count for much until I know exactly what I did. But I'll say it anyways, I'm so bloody sorry Jack…" Ianto trailed off, wrapping his arms around Jack's midsection.
"It counts," Jack mumbled back, kissing Ianto's hairline.
"What do we do now?"
"Get what we came down here for and deal with everything else as it comes. I'm not making any more decisions until I know all of the facts. Do you want me to help you look?"
"Okay," Ianto sighed, slowly pushing himself out of Jack's arms. "I am not sure if you will be able to spot it but two sets of eyes make it more likely if nothing else. The only help I can really give you is to look for an irregularity in the sorting of the items or the actual item. I think it's less likely that I put an item in the wrong spot as it would be too easy to notice."
Jack gave him a look that clearly said this was not going to be simple at all. Ianto shrugged in reply and the two men got to work scanning the shelves. It was slow going and every few minutes Jack found an item that looked promising but upon Ianto's inspection were just part of the complicated archiving system the Welshman had developed.
"I feel like we're getting no where! I don't think I have spent this long in the archives for something other than sex. I feel like all I have done today is search for crap down here!" Jack roughly pushed another book back on the shelf. "I really wish Owen had not lost the universal unlocking thing."
Ianto place his hand on Jack's shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "I found the code last night, probably drunk, we will find it eventually. If you makes you feel better I have slept for an equal amount of time you have spent cleaning up my mess."
"I am taking a break," Jack replied, pulling a random book off of the shelf and sitting on the concrete floor.
"No you're not." Ianto plucked the book out of Jack's hand. "I want to be down here just as much as you and taking breaks is just going to have us stuck longer." Ianto turned the book around to look at the call number but was interrupted as Jack grabbed it back.
"We aren't getting anywhere Ianto. Let's just sit down for a few minutes and rest our eyes." Jack suggested.
Ianto paused for a moment trying to decide if it would be better to delay their doomed hunt for a few minutes or just keep going. After another moment of contemplation Ianto rolled his eyes fondly and pulled Jack back to the floor. "What are we reading? Can you even read it?"
Jack flipped the book back over. "Looks like a book of fairy tales."
"One of twenty-seven in the archive," Ianto said with a small smile, trying to keep his tone light. Despite his best efforts Ianto could feel a tight and clammy cold spread through him as he and Jack sat side-by-side delaying in inevitable.
"Did you know humans are the only ones that have fairy tales with large amounts of dismemberment and blood? Some lessons, huh." Jack said conversationally flipping through the book.
"Don't remind me. I had nightmares for weeks after my Tad read me Hansel and Gretel when I was six." Ianto shivered at the thought of the witch being pushed into the oven. "Is there a particular point to you giving me the heebie-jeebies?"
"The point being." Jack stopped laying an arm around Ianto's shoulders. "Is that despite all the gore and the ridiculous stories humans are taught to survive better and longer than any race I have encountered. I have seen the universe at its end and humans are still fighting for their existence. If they can endure that you can survive this, we can survive this," Jack amended.
"When you say it like that I almost believe you," Ianto whispered feeling his eyes and face become hot. Ianto kept back the few stray tears he felt like shedding; Jack was right he made such a mess of things and he didn't deserve the older man's concern or comfort.
They sat together for a few more minutes just looking at the pictures in the book together. When they reached the end, Ianto finally let the comfortable atmosphere they had built slip away and untangled himself from Jack's hold and stood up slowly. Jack passed the book back to Ianto and heaved himself off of the floor, giving the other man a sad smile.
Jack started searching in a new section, a few paces down. Ianto went to put the book back in its proper place but the gap that it came from had seamlessly vanished forcing him to check the call number. Just as he was about to push the book back in its slot he noticed something odd about the font of the last 5 numbers. Ianto's heart began to pound anew and his grip tightened. He knew at once this was what they had been looking for and began to panic. He wasn't ready to open the damned container and was severely tempted to put the book back where it belong; out of sight and mind. Ianto felt his hands become damp and knew he couldn't do that; he owed it to Jack and himself to finished whatever he had started. This was exactly why the younger man wanted Jack to stay pissed at him; now that he had his Jack back his didn't want to let go.
Ianto took a deep calming breath, trying to rein his panic in before calling out to Jack. "Jack, I think I've found it," Ianto said softly, feeling his throat dry up.
"Are you sure?" Jack waited for Ianto to reply, holding a deep breath in his chest.
Ianto nodded and passed the book his was holding into Jack's waiting hands. "Look at the last 5 digits. They're in the wrong font. I don't make mistakes like that," Ianto answered with a certainly that surprised Jack. If he had been in Ianto position he would have been inclined to flee and hope things worked out in the end.
"This doesn't have to be it if you don't want it to be," Jack said hesitantly so unlike his normal demeanour.
Ianto swallowed roughly trying lubricate his throat, barely trusting himself to answer. "It does…" Ianto extended his fingers towards Jack, silently asking for support.
Jack was tempted to argue, but knowing if he did he would once again blur the lines between being a leader and Ianto's lover. Jack slotted his fingers in-between Ianto's and tried to convey his understanding through light pressure. "Okay."
As soon as Jack answered Ianto felt distinctly sick. A tight panic rushed through his chest and he struggled to catch his breath. He shut his eyes and concentrated on the in and out litany he had learned after his father had died. Ianto knew he used to be much better at this when a breath remained lodged in his chest. What made it worse was he really did not need to freak out in front of Jack. He had already thrown the equivalent of a tantrum; he didn't need to add panic attack to the list.
As if on cue Jack noticed something was off with the Welshman's breathing. "You okay?"
Ianto nodded, knowing he didn't have enough air for a verbal response.
Jack hummed in reply, not really believing the other man. Jack released Ianto's hand and pulled him into his arms, anchoring a hand on a tense neck. "When I breathe in I want you to breathe out."
Ianto had to stop and restart a few times before he was able to pick-up Jack's rhythm. "Better?" Jack asked running his fingers along the back of Ianto's neck.
"Yeah," Ianto said still trying to pull himself back together.
"Are you going to be okay going back into the interrogation room?"
Jack felt Ianto shutter at the mention of the room but responded as calmly as possible. "There really isn't a choice is there? But thank you for asking."
"Let's head up then." Jack pulled his hands back to rub the Welshman's arms before letting go. The trip back to the interrogation room went faster than Ianto had hoped. Before he had more time to do more than worry they were at the door.
"Jack can you promise me something?" Jack stopped as he was opening the door.
"What?"
"If whatever you find in that box is really bad you will do what you have to. Including…" Ianto trailed off, he couldn't finish his sentence.
"No," Jack said firmly not turning to face Ianto. "I will not harm a member of my team no matter what you have done. And don't say I am playing favourites. Even though Suzie murder civilians I wouldn't have harmed her and I doubt you've done anything that terrible. Do you understand me?"
Ianto licked his lips and nodded although he knew Jack couldn't see him. "I understand."
"Good." Jack pushed opened the door the rest of the way and stepped back so Ianto could enter. "I'll be back soon, hang tight."
Ianto took a few steps and stopped in front of the captain, placing a hand on the taller man's chest. "Thank you." Ianto knew it wouldn't convey what he really wanted to say but it was adequate for now. He had dug himself a deep hole and Jack was already pulling him out despite having no duty to. He owed the man his life and cared about him more than he could describe in simple words. Ianto placed a firm kiss on Jack mouth and crossed the door's threshold.
"See you soon." Jack reiterated and shut the door.
Ianto sighed and took the stairs two at a time until his was back in the main area. Ianto scanned the room and couldn't help but think of how its last few occupants ended up. Suzie had gone on a homicidal rampage, gunned down by Jack and Owen. Bethany hadn't done much better, sacrificing herself to protect her husband and the world. Ianto was terrified that he would end up in a drawer beside the other women. Ianto recognized that if he did end up there he deserved it but he was also not ready to give up on life, to leave Jack on his own.
This room held many horrors and Ianto was determined not to become one of them.