My goodness, I can't remember when it was that I last wrote. It seems eons ago. Anyway, I hope no one's mad at me for delaying this long. Or maybe you're all mad at me for posting again (hides) Well, regardless. Hope you like the new chapter!
Again, I regret to say that none of the LOTR characters, unfortunately, are mine.
Erestor
There was to be yet another celebration in Rivendell. Most would have thought it was to celebrate Arwen's official engagement to Aragorn, but those actually close to them already knew they were practically married anyway. With Arwen mercilessly berating her mate for everything he'd done, everything he'd not done, and just about everything else.
To be honest, no one quite knew what there was to celebrate. Aragorn insisted it was in commemoration of his great deeds, and Arwen insisted that the only great deed he'd ever done was drinking a whole keg of wine in one sitting and then breaking the world record of most amount of puke in five minutes.
To be honest, no one knew what there was to celebrate.
But in Rivendell, where there'd been so many celebrations already, that wasn't so necessary.
What was important was that this time, the entire city was invited, not just the high-and-mighty preppy important people. And of course, no one was passing up this chance for free food and wine.
-
"And a party isn't a party at all without the dance!"
Erestor winced at the all too familiar voice and the two long shadows that had just appeared over his shoulder.
He really didn't want to turn around. But he was caught anyway by the long arm of Elrohir. And heard the malicious laughter that could probably even outdo Sauron himself on a good day.
At the sight of the identical evil grins that kept closing in around him, Erestor was reminded of why he'd wished before that elves weren't immortal. Trying to keep himself from passing out, he racked his brains for anything he'd done before that deserved such punishment. The twins didn't notice.
"...You see, Erestor, you've been helping out in celebrations and things since the Valar knows when, and yet you've never ever taken part, have you?" The smile on Elladan's face was eerily saccharine. It should be a crime for those two to be allowed to smile, seeing as every time they did, someone always ended up half dead at the very least.
Elrohir picked up where his brother left off, saying animatedly, "So this time, we've decided that you should take a nice break and enjoy yourself. Take part in the fun and relax. Therefore, we're going to teach you to dance!"
Erestor stared.
"You need some fun in your life. Now now, it's no trouble at all, we're pleased to help, so don't look so worried." Elrohir flashed his trademark smile, notorious for sending any living being within a ten mile radius running for dear life. "You've done so much for us, it's only right that we pay you back."
Erestor whimpered.
Elladan had been watching the scene unfold with a rather thoughtful look on his face. Always a bad sign. He spoke up in a bit. "Which dance do you think would suit Erestor? I mean, we never really thought about that." He pointedly ignored the elf in the corner desperately trying to get a word in. "The Waltz, you think? Or the Foxtrot," He snickered. "Or the Salsa, or..." He stopped and looked edgewise at the spluttering Erestor, then at his twin, all the while redefining 'evil' over and over again. "The Tango." (1)
Erestor fainted.
-
"Now Erestor, you probably have absolutely no sense of rhythm at all, so you need to learn the basic steps and fit them into the rhythm, okay? Erestor?" Elrohir turned from his poetic pose and spotted his brother trying to lug a very lifeless Erestor off a couch. "Oh dear, we can't teach him if he's all dead, now can we?"
At that moment they heard thundering footsteps coming down the corridor, and lifted their heads to see an explosive Lord Elrond bursting through the door. "Uh oh..."
"What...Am I...Going to do...WITH THE TWO OF YOU???!!!" Elrond was positively boiling. His face was all red like he'd been drinking, and the twins could almost see him evaporating on the spot. In a child's bedtime story, he would have fizzled away completely and left a simmering spot on the marbled carpet. This time, though, he was unfortunately very real, and he wasn't going anywhere.
The loud noise woke the resident Sleeping Beauty, who quickly assessed the situation and scuttled to hide behind Elrond. The twins rolled their eyes, but hid it and returned a sheepish gaze to their exasperated father.
Back in Elrond's study (he'd decided they had better not disturb the entire city, especially as he didn't want the practising archers to shoot themselves in their shock), he had the twins before him, and was trying to decide how to deal with them. He had calmed down somewhat, though still fuming, he was now fuming quietly instead.
Elladan found the courage to voice the thought that had been nagging at him for a while now. "Ada, how did you find out?"
Elrond snorted. "Haldir happened to pass by and heard you. He reported the matter to me. But don't think you can distract me. I have just decided on a punishment for you."
-
While dance music played and people feasted, a disgruntled pair of twins sat in a corner looking pitiful. They looked at the guards in front of them, but and gave up the idea of sneaking away. Talented as they were they couldn't hope to get past four of Rivendell's best fighters. Elrohir sulked and tried to find solace in the thought that his father though him good enough to waste four of his best men on.
The two had lived long enough to forget the number of parties they had attended, it was a formidably long list. But it didn't mean they could miss one and not sulk about it. They, of course, forgot that they'd still be alive for a long time yet and that there would be countless other parties they could attend. Literally. Elrohir took the opportunity to test out an escape tactic he'd been thinking about.
He put on his sweetest smile and looked up at the solemn guard before him. "Would you like a dance lesson too?" He gulped as the very sharp point of a spear was shoved into his face. Apparently not.
He settled himself back into his chair and continued sulking. He needed someone to blame for his current plight. Right beside him, his brother Elladan was thinking the exact same thing.
Haldir was going to pay for this.
(1): The Tango was an olden-day dance originally danced by prostitutes. So you can imagine.
A/N: Phew. I thought I'd lost my touch. Well personally I like this chapter, although the last 2 or 3 chapters seem to be twins- centric. Oh well. Another chapter coming up, soon I hope. And I think I'll make it the last chapter. Well, you probably know who the victim is in there, heh. Until then!