Hidan's POV

Chapter Four: This Pein in the ass's fault!

"Hey fuckers, you fucking disturbed my beauty sleep with all your shouting… holy Jashin why the fuck are you sitting on Pein in the ass's lap, blondie? Is this a free yaoi porn shot for Konan or something?"

To say the least when Hidan's very necessary beauty sleep was disturbed he was annoyed, yes he had beauty sleep, you could not be as super amazingly handsome as he was without it. It was from the sound of Deidara's voice screaming at Pein for some insane reason. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, he then groaned in frustration, for Jashin's sake couldn't the blond just shut the hell up. Then he froze slightly… the blond was shouting at the Pein in the ass, who he always seemed nervous of. That was new, the blond was always so meek (*coughcutecough*) when he had to talk to the leader of the Akatsuki. He must be really angry then, to be honest Hidan sort of found that as a turn on, yes he was attracted to Deidara but who wouldn't be? Have you since him? But it was only lust, nothing serious and he would not act upon because despite the fact they constantly tried to maim one another they were actually good friends. It would past, it hadn't yet due to the fact the blond was constantly there but once one of them were sent on a long mission it'll be all forgotten. He groaned as they continued to talk loudly, he dragged himself out of bed sending a glare at the still sleeping Kakuzu who he shared a room with. Lucky bastard, being a deep sleeper. He then dragged himself outside of Pein in the ass' office, he heard the voice of Deidara saying 'fine' to whatever Pein said and then opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the fact that Deidara was sitting in Pein's lap looking directly at Pein's face, that made him trail off from his speech of "Hey fuckers, you fucking disturbed my beauty sleep with all your shouting…" He then noticed Konan in the room watching them, he looked back at Deidara and Pein and he felt a twinge of jealousy which he shook off quickly and added "Holy Jashin why the fuck are you sitting on Pein in the ass's lap, blondie? Is this a free yaoi porn shot for Konan or something?" He asked rudely. Pein's eye twitched in anger whilst Deidara went bright red.

"I didn't notice, un." The blond admitted, Hidan froze, there was something seriously off with that voice. It was too girlish; he then looked closer at Deidara and noticed something else 'off' about the blond. He wolf whistled grinning a slightly perverted grin.

"Wow, nice tits, so Konan never knew you were into straight porn." He said crudely, Deidara went redder if that was possible and Konan glared at him.

"Hidan, stop being a pervert and tell everyone about the meeting we're calling, you have a loud voice so use it for something useful for a change." Pein said unimpressed with Hidan, Hidan scowled slightly.

"My voice is always fucking useful." He said sourly, Deidara hopped off Pein's lap at last and smirked at him as he (she… what was Hidan supposed to call the bitch?) stood beside Konan.

"Not when you're asleep and have dirty dreams and cry out, un." Deidara said, Hidan went bright red at this and glared at Deidara.

"That was just that one fucking time!" He yelled at Deidara, not thinking to deny it.

"The only time I know of." Deidara replied smiling, Hidan gave a growl at him.

"Shut up bitch." Hidan growled annoyed, Deidara stuck out his/her tongue.

"Make me, un." Deidara said, Hidan took a threatening step towards Deidara.

"Hidan, I'm getting impatient." Pein said interrupting their conversation which was getting far off topic, Hidan began grumbling at his poor luck, first he was waken up far too early, then he was made to wake everyone up and no one was a morning person aside from Deidara. Even the puppet slept and hated being wakened, he was going to hurt.

"Hey! Fuckers! We have a Jashin damned meeting! So fucking wake up before I have to sacrifice your asses!" Hidan yelled, banging on the bedroom doors as he passed them. When he reached the shared room of Sasori and Deidara, Sasori opened the door to glare at him holding out his hand with his flame canisters out. Hidan groaned, all was going so well until now as well.

"Why did you wake me up, you know I value my sleep more than your life." Sasori said coldly, Hidan groaned.

"Don't fucking blame me blame Pein in the ass, mother and blondie it's their fault." Hidan said pushing past the puppet as he made his way to the last room. Zetsu's and Tobi's. By this time everyone else where out of their rooms grumbling and making death threats against Hidan. Itachi glared at him with activated Sharignan which was threatening to Mangekyō his ass into oblivion, after all of all people Itachi needed beauty sleep the most to get rid of those ugly bags so disrupting his sleep was a crime which would not go unpunished.

"I'm going to torture you for seventy-two hours so you will end up begging for death and wishing that you were not immortal." He snarled, this was the one time Itachi lost his cool, when ether he was woken up. Hidan flinched, he remembered the last time.

"Blame Pein in the ass, he's the fucking one that made me fucking do it!" Hidan yelled, Itachi just continued to glare at him. Kisame was holding Samehada clearly itching to use it. Zetsu then slid through the door making Hidan jump.

"You better have a good reason for this morsel… or else we're going to eat you." Zetsu said annoyed, Tobi then exited the room still wearing his sleeping mask (being Tobi, he had to have a mask for every occasion, he even had a white 'take over the world mask' with two eye holes, but he had not used it yet.)

"Tobi no longer likes Hidan-kun." Tobi told the Jashinist not sounding very pleased.

"For the last fucking time blame Pein in the ass he's the one who called the meeting, not me." Hidan said to them all. They all continued to glare at him, obviously not believing their pleas.

"I did call the meeting and tell him to wake you up." Pein said walking out of his office, Hidan gawped at him in disbelief, was he actually agreeing with him. Was this a miracle sent from Jashin? "However you're beauty sleep isn't important at the moment, go straight to the meeting room and Hidan give your shirt to Deidara." Pein said, Hidan blinked at him stunned. Wait what? Everyone else was blinking confused and somewhat shocked as well. "He had an accident with his own." Pein said, Hidan blinked and went into Pein's office to do what Pein had told him to do. Konan was standing in front of Deidara trying hard to conceal something.

"Yo, bitches, Pein in the ass said that Deidara needed my shirt." Hidan said cheerfully, then he froze "Um… why?" He asked, Konan began coughing nervously whilst Deidara went bright red.

"Well… my… breasts were too big…" Deidara murmured going red, Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"Blondie, tits are never too big." Hidan informed him, Konan bit her lip, Hidan was such a pervert.

"Well, my shirt ripped as it was too small to hold them." Deidara said coughing in embarrassment, Hidan snorted and slipped off his shirt over his head revealing his beautifully toned chest and back. Chugging a heavy scythe around had its advantages sometimes. He passed the shirt to Deidara who smiled in thanks.

"Thanks religious zealot, un." Deidara said, Hidan smirked.

"You're welcome mad bomber." Hidan replied and watched as Deidara just took his own shirt off pretty much shamelessly apart from the fact he went redder. Hidan looked down at his feet his own cheeks going slightly red at the lack of shame Deidara showed, Deidara then slipped Hidan's shirt on.

"No seriously thanks, zealot." Deidara grinned, Hidan shrugged. Konan sighed.

"Can we go to the meeting now?" Konan asked impatiently, Deidara and Hidan grinned at one another.

"Ready to give them all a shock, un?" Deidara asked, Hidan smirked.

"Of course."