Doubts and Promises

Propped up on his elbow, J'onn observed Alex as she slept, a habit he had assumed since their departure from National City. He gazed at her and, in his mind, it was though he was protecting and watching over her. And somehow, that was just what he had done for the past years, keeping the promise he made to her father.

J'onn closed his eyes and sighed, almost painfully, thinking about Jeremiah Danvers.

Not only he had saved him, but he had unconsciously given him a reason to live again. A reason that was now shifting beside him in her sleep, her body naked beneath the sheets of another foreign bed, in a cheap motel they had found along the road.

They tended to switch between the comfort of an actual bedroom and makeshift pallets in the open air – but no matter what, they had always slept together, ever since what happened in Texas.

Alex turned toward him, looking for the heat that emanated from his body, and he put an arm over her hip, drawing them together, and keeping his eyes on her face.

He realized she was a natural beauty indeed, especially over the past week, when she hadn't had the chance to put on any make-up. J'onn was mesmerized by her, but not only for her physical appearance. She was beautiful, both on the outside and the inside.

He stared at her light freckles on the bridge of her nose, and thought that they made her look even younger.

J'onn almost chuckled, thinking about how young Alex actually was. Practically a fetus, compared to him and, for this reason, he felt dirty, as if he had taken advantage of her.

And deep down, he was terrified Alex was acting on the spur of the moment and she would regret it when they arrived back at National City, back to their real lives.

"You're staring," she suddenly spoke, her eyes still closed.

J'onn couldn't help but smile. "Do you want me to look away?"

She blinked her eyes open, fogged with sleep, and shook her head. "It's still quiet, the sun has not rose up yet," she noted, focusing on him. "Yet you're already awake. What weighs on your mind, J'onn?"

He felt a sweet swelling in his chest and his own breath paused for a moment before he replied: "Nothing, watching you sleep next to me pushes away all my negative thoughts."

It was true, even if it brought other issues and doubts too.

"If you say so," she teased him, not convinced by his answer at all. Nevertheless, she smiled peacefully, and he caressed her jaw, her chin and finally her lips. Then, he leaned down and gave her a kiss. Alex immediately reacted – completely awake now- and pressed his mouth harder against his, pushing him onto his back and straddling him.

"Good morning," she whispered against his lips and he grinned back at her.

He cupped the back of her head with his hand, his fingers buried in her dark hair while his other arm was wrapped around her waist, tightly holding her body to his.

J'onn wanted to tell her so many things but he couldn't, keeping all his thoughts inside. But Alex was staring at him, her eyes glued to his, and she was scrutinizing his face, as though she could actually see his soul, read his soul. It was strange. J'onn was the one who could read her mind for real, and yet Alex smiled at him as if she possessed the skill to hear all his thoughts and fears, whether he spoke them or not. She didn't say anything, but simply leaned down and kissed him again. And in that moment he realized that Alex didn't have to speak, as he felt that just looking into her eyes he could know her own silent thoughts, without using his superpower. He had never been able to do such a thing before, not even with his wife.

He sat up and smiled sincerely to her, as Alex gasped, surprised by his action. J'onn kissed her hard and turned them gently, putting her upon her back.

Their lips hardly parted and her fingers were running everywhere on his body they could reach. He dropped a hand to her hip, grabbing it, as she parted her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist. Just like that, he was thrusting inside of her, both of them moaning and huffing in pleasure. J'onn was determined to show with his movements what words could not say. So, he made love -because that was definitely making love- to her slowly, taking his time; forgetting about their situation, as if they actually had all the time in the world.

He listened to her gasp and moan and breathe his name over and over again, and he couldn't stop to kiss her or look at her. They both had their eyes open, staring at each other, communicating their emotions in this way. Alex couldn't stop touching him either, grabbing his shoulders, not letting him be too far from her and she rocked her hips against his, their bodies moving together. He left her mouth and pressed his lips to her face and to her throat, listening to her whimpers and moans in his ear.

It was gentle and intense, and she could feel herself gushing and convulsing around him as she was reaching her peak. He could sense it too and his hand slipped between their bodies, slowly rubbing the sensitive area just above where they were connected.

"Come with me," she whispered.

"Where?" He was confused for a moment and then, "Oh," he smiled as she tightened her muscles around him.

J'onn pumped in and out of her faster, harder, hitching one of her thighs higher against his hip, sinking even deeper inside of her, and she cried out sharply just as he spilled himself withing her, shuddering and groaning her name.

He collapsed on her, feeling her hands upon his back, light touches running over his skin, as she was still trembling with the last waves of her orgasm.

"I love how you've woken me up this morning," she murmured in his ears and he smiled against her throat, his head cradled on her shoulder.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes and then he rolled into his back, not wanting to crush her with his weight. Alex turned on her side, her head on his chest and her leg draped over his thigh, while he put his arm around her shoulders, holding her close to his body.

She brushed her hand lightly over his chest, feeling the strong thumping of his chest.

"Will you tell me what kept you awake earlier?"

J'onn was quiet, his fingers playing with the strands of her hair on the back of her neck, and then he sighed heavily. "I was thinking about you."

"And that bothered you?" She couldn't help but wonder.

"Never," he promptly replied, shaking his head. "I thought about you and your future."

"It's our future, you know," she corrected him, sensing what he was going to say.

He sighed, closing his eyes. "You are young, Alex. And you are beautiful and smart and you deserve all the happiness this world could give you. You shouldn't hide, you shouldn't be stuck with me in the middle of nowhere. Right now, you should be in National City, with your sister and your family and with a good boy-"

"Stop it," she suddenly interrupted him, her voice sharp. "Stop it, J'onn. What are you trying to do? What are you trying to say?"

"Alex," he said ruefully. "I don't deserve you. I made a promise to your father and I've betrayed it, I've betrayed him. I promised I would have taken care of you... as my own daughter but– but what I feel for you is not what fathers feel for their daughters... I'm ruining you with all my issues, and I'll never be able to give you a normal life, you deserve better, Alex. You deserve better than me."

He had spoken with a low voice, his words barely audible, and she was stunned.

They remained in silence, J'onn breathing heavily and Alex staring at him, until she brought her hand to his cheek, cupping it.

"Since you found me in jail drunk and completely off of the rails, you have done nothing but take care of me," she said softly. "You are loyal, you are brave, and you are principled. You've saved me so manytimes and practically thrown away the life you have built on Earth for the past ten years just because of me. You are the best man I know."

"I am not a man, Alex."

She snorted, putting her hand back on his chest, just above his heart, and then she grabbed his own hand, placing it above her breast.

"Do you feel it, J'onn?" she asked, giving him an encouraging smile. "Because I can clearly feel your heart beating in your chest, just as mine."

"I do," he agreed.

"I want you, J'onn," she added. "I've chosen you and no matter if you come from Mars, or if are an over-centenarian shape-shifter, because what we have is something special and we have to preserve it. It's not only our hearts, it's our souls. No matter what you are on the outside, I know you are a good person, moved by good intentions. We're constantly under attack, we risk our lives on a daily basis, so we shouldn't waste the chance to love," her voice was shaking slightly, as if she was going to cry. "We know everything about each other and I can trust you with all my heart. I want you, J'onn, as long as you still want me too."

"Of course I want you, Alex," he stated firmly. "You are the best thing happened to my entire life, not only since my arrival to Earth. But I couldn't be selfish, and even if I don't want anything but to spend my days with you, I know deep down you deserve better. I am such a burden-"

"I love you," she blurted out, stopping him.

Then she slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening in shock.

"Oh, God. That just came flying out of my mouth, like it was some kind of..."

And she trailed off, her hand sliding away, her eyes softening, and she took a deep breath, shaking her head.

"I love you. I just love you. I didn't say it sooner but I thought- I thought our actions were saying it all. I don't believe in soul mates, but I feel as though we're kind of... connected. And I swear you can feel it too. And even you deserve to be happy, J'onn. Both our lives have been so full of hate and pain... why shouldn't we be happy?"

J'onn opened his mouth, but nothing came out, because she was right. Even if Alex was so young, she showed to be far more mature than him.

He felt as if he couldn't speak, completely overwhelmed by his own emotions, and thus he did acted on impulse and he gently rolled on his side as well.

They were now lying, one in front of the other, facing each other, and Alex gave him a quizzical look, not understanding his action.

He took her hand and, after giving a thoughtful kiss to the inside of her wrist, he placed it on his temple and then he put his own hand over her forehead.

They didn't blink, staring at each other and his eyes glimmered red just before Alex felt it. It was strange but there something else about it, too. Something that was verging towards feeling like pure ecstasy.

A rush of wonderful sensations - of trust, devotion and love - flowed through her body.

Somehow, he had connected their minds, and she could feel his emotions just as he could feel hers. It was powerful and almost too much and Alex gasped, incapable to react. She had never felt anything like it, it was like an orgasm but it started from her heart and then it shot throughout the rest of her body. It wasn't only a physical pleasure, they had just fastened their souls together.

It was his answer, his own way to tell her he loved her too.

A few moments passed, and then J'onn closed his eyes, lowering his hand to her cheek, and slowly interrupting the connection. Then, he put his arms around her waist, embracing her tightly.

"I love you too, Alex," he murmured, and then he tenderly kissed her temple.

A/N

Just another snapshot of Alex and J'onn being on the run.
I hope you'll like it, I felt a little insecure about it so I'd really appreciate your opinion ;)

Review, review, review!

As always, without my beta-readers I'd be completely lost!